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Round 56: Ho Ho Ho-ly shit, look at the time!

Well, good old Joan Fontaine copped it at last, and dissent555 takes the dick. Died in her sleep, thus ending the longest-running and most public sibling rivalry in history. She said of her sister, “I married first, won the Oscar before Olivia did, and if I die first, she’ll undoubtedly be livid because I beat her to it!”

Olivia deHavilland is 97, folks! Line up!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.


Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:00 pm

Kirk Douglas

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:00 pm

Christy Dignam – front man for Aslan.

Comment from Fawn
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:01 pm

Wilko Johnson – Game of Thrones star, guitarist in band Dr. Feelgood.

Comment from gromulin
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:04 pm

Zsa Zsa Gabor FTW

Comment from Montenegro
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:05 pm

I” take Muhammad ALI once more.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:06 pm

Here we go again, fingers and toes crossed:

David Rockefeller, Sr.

I’d be proud to shovel the dirt in his hole.

Comment from Gordon R. Durand
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:08 pm

Harry Reid, please.

Comment from Janna
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:12 pm

Kirk Douglas–again. sigh, wasn’t paying attention.. how about Paul Simon.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:12 pm

Well shoot, I’ll take de Haviland, was my plan all along!

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:24 pm

Chris Christie because if he runs for president we will end up with Hillary.

Comment from Sporadic Small Arms Fire
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:40 pm

Henry Kissinger.

Comment from Set Up Autofill
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:40 pm

Robert Gabriel Mugabe.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:41 pm

Billy Graham FTW!

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:42 pm

Gordon R. Durand beat me to Harry Reid [who was hospitalized this morning, and whose demise will provoke celebrations at the yurt of Subotai]; so I will go with Paul Ryan who is either so stupid that he can be outsmarted by Patty “dumber than a pile of rocks” Murray (D-Microsoft), and/or he just forgot which side he has claimed to be on for his political life. Probably too stupid to remember how to breath.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from RushBabe
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:43 pm

Gordon, you may be in luck. News reports say Dingy Harry is in the hospital “for observation.”

Comment from tonycc
Time: December 20, 2013, 6:46 pm

Muhammad Ali, sorry champ.

Comment from Feargal Fitz-Ferret
Time: December 20, 2013, 7:25 pm

It feels like a futile endeavor…

Abe Vigoda. And I rather like the chap, due mostly to absence of reasons for disliking him.

Comment from Pupster
Time: December 20, 2013, 7:25 pm

Harry Belefonte

Comment from P2
Time: December 20, 2013, 7:27 pm

The supermarket checkout tabloids are touting that subject of 1960’s adolescent fantasy Tina Louise, as the next casualty….. Sounds good to me….Tina Louise it is…

Comment from armybrat
Time: December 20, 2013, 7:31 pm

Juan McCain who is reported to have said today if he was a younger man he probably wouldn’t register as a republican. What does being younger have to do with anything- senile bastard hasn’t voted as a republican in years anyway.

Comment from Brother Cavil, straight outta New Cap City
Time: December 20, 2013, 7:39 pm

Sticking with Mr. Casey Kasem, ’cause I gotta be right one of these times…

Comment from StPatrick_TN
Time: December 20, 2013, 7:41 pm

Fred Phelps. I keep trying…it has to work eventually.

Comment from CrabbyOldBat
Time: December 20, 2013, 7:46 pm

Because it’s the Christmas season, Maureen O’Hara.

Comment from biztecka
Time: December 20, 2013, 7:46 pm

Nancy Reagan, God forbid.

Comment from Hutch
Time: December 20, 2013, 7:58 pm

Eli Wallach since Crabby nabbed Maureen.

Comment from Thursby
Time: December 20, 2013, 8:13 pm

Chuck Berry

Comment from BJM
Time: December 20, 2013, 8:31 pm

I’m going with Keith Richards…dude just turned 70…that’s gotta be a 120 in Rolling Stone years.

Comment from sandman says f*uck this jazz
Time: December 20, 2013, 8:37 pm

I take inveterate leftist tool and hilarously hard to understand Arch(Liar) Bishop Desmond (IN a) Tutu. For the dick and a sketch and a waft of fresh air for SA.

Comment from Paul G
Time: December 20, 2013, 8:42 pm

Don Pardo for my first ever entry in the pool.

Comment from dustoffmom
Time: December 20, 2013, 8:47 pm

Oh man, ya snooze ya lose! Bizteca beat me to my gal Nancy. So…..how about Prince Phillip. Don’t think anyone has grabbed that old coot yet.

Comment from mojo
Time: December 20, 2013, 8:51 pm

General Francisco Franco

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: December 20, 2013, 8:57 pm

Might need a ruling on this one, but…in the Spirit Of The Season Of Yuletide, I will graciously give up (on) the prior choice of my choices for a bit, in favor of pickin’ on ol’ Larry King (he is still more-or-less alive at this writing, is he not?…this, then, is whereat a ruling may become necessary – last time I recollect actually seeing the dude, he seemed perhaps a bit less…animated than in prior days; mayhap he’s actually Bit The Big’Un, and simply no one’s yet been unkind enough to mention it to him?…)

Anyway – all those crashed marriages have to tell on a feller eventually, y’know?

C’mon, Big Lar’, I could really dig a nice li’l Sweasey sketch as a self-won Christmas gifty, whaddaya say, ol’ chum?…

(SomeVeg: Here’s your chance – ol’ Red Janey’s your for the picking, this time ’round. Way my luck’s been running with her, she’ll probably take a drive over the edge up along Mulholland next week, and the coyotes’ll eat her…bad for the coyotes’ diet, and a loser for the Dead Pool for me, but otherwise an all-around winner, say I…)

BTW, tonycc – Montenegro already snaffled Muhammad Ali, best take another swing at it before all the “likely un-lively” are chosen…

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: December 20, 2013, 9:04 pm

Oh, and mojo – seems to me I recollect an announcement that used to be made a lot on TeeVee to the effect that “…Francisco Franco is still dead!…”, yes?

Or was that “…Federico Fellini is…”, etc.? Medium-short-term memory’s not so good, these days…

Comment from Gulliblepratt
Time: December 20, 2013, 9:16 pm

Prepare for the wailing and gnashing of teeth
Christopher Lee

Comment from jic
Time: December 20, 2013, 9:20 pm

Ed Asner.

Comment from Nanny 1
Time: December 20, 2013, 9:36 pm

Lauren Bacall

Comment from Ripley
Time: December 20, 2013, 9:45 pm

Luise Ranier.

Comment from Ben
Time: December 20, 2013, 9:50 pm

William Shatner

Comment from thefritz
Time: December 20, 2013, 10:08 pm

I’ll just sit this round out to let ya’ll catch up….
NOT – Hosni Mubarak

Comment from currently
Time: December 20, 2013, 10:17 pm

Hugh Hefner – his jacket is still smoking. When it goes up in flames and all those viagra explode it’ll be worse than an IED.

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: December 20, 2013, 10:35 pm

Jimmy Carter – and he kicks it soon, it will take the sting out of not winnng the Mega-Millions!

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: December 20, 2013, 10:41 pm

Sweet Baby Jesus, it’s almost Your Birthday, so I’m putting The Bastard who’s destroying Christmas, B.H.B.S. Obama (Barack Hussein Barry Soetoro Obama), aka, pResident LastNameUnknown (Marxist, Manchuria), on my list to Santa Claus for Your Birthday Present! I pray my Present gets delivered! It would make such a Merry Christmas. Eaten by a shark in Hawaii is good. See what You can arrange with Dad, okay?

Comment from Harry
Time: December 20, 2013, 10:48 pm

OK, my pick this time around is Valerie Harper–Rhoda Morgenstern to followers of the Mary Tyler Moore show and her own series afterward. Read she is terminal with meningeal cancer, while I do not wish anything bad on her, a win is still a win…

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: December 20, 2013, 10:49 pm

I’m surprised no one has grabbed Ethan Krupp, also known as “pajama boy” or, my own coinage, “onesie boy, one cup.” His embarrassment is epic, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he were literally mortified by what he has done to himself.

Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: December 20, 2013, 10:57 pm

Hokey smokes! I got in this late and Fidel Castro is still available.

I’m feelin’ lucky, I hope he’s not.

Comment from eirik
Time: December 20, 2013, 11:03 pm

Mickey Rooney

Comment from Harry
Time: December 20, 2013, 11:06 pm

@ twolaneflash

Why would you want to do something that terrible to a poor little shark? After all, they are nature’s janitors, cleaning out that which is rotten, stinking and useless…oh, wait…

Comment from steve
Time: December 20, 2013, 11:08 pm

Edward Brooke: Former US Senator from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts

Comment from Bigsmarthuman
Time: December 20, 2013, 11:40 pm

Pete Seeger

Comment from m
Time: December 21, 2013, 12:15 am

Russell Johnson – the professor.

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: December 21, 2013, 12:22 am

Olivia de Havilland!

“She’s namin’ that Indian baby after me!”

Comment from Oceania
Time: December 21, 2013, 12:40 am

Old man McCaine has that ‘whiff of death’ about him.
Especially after his holiday in the Ukraine.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: December 21, 2013, 12:46 am

Lets see if I can be sneaky:

Misao Okawa
Born 1898

Officially recognized by Guinness World Records as the oldest living woman in the world and has her own Wikipedia page. So therefore a celebrity. Right? Right!

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: December 21, 2013, 12:57 am

Jerry Lewis, telethon entrepreneur and physical comic that Dean Martin wouldn’t even talk to after the duo ended. Go, Jerry! Really…. GO!

Comment from David Gillies
Time: December 21, 2013, 12:59 am

Still Gordon Brown.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: December 21, 2013, 1:03 am

Well, since J.S. has been so kind to leave Jane Fonda like a patient etherized upon a table I shall accept and choose her .
I am no prophet—but that’s no great matter;
She grows old, she grows old.

Comment from Davem123
Time: December 21, 2013, 1:28 am

I really wanted to fall back on my old favorite Harry Reid but I’m way too late tonight. I’m going for GHW Bush. Not exactly inspiring, but he had to follow Ronnie. Who wouldn’t suffer in comparison? At least “You can keep your Doctor, period” has made “Read my lips….” fade into insignificance.

Comment from PatAZ
Time: December 21, 2013, 1:47 am

Raul Castro. After all, Barry bowed to him so maybe that’s a sign of impending catastrophe. But then again, maybe not.

Comment from Vince
Time: December 21, 2013, 1:49 am

Justin Bieber who will retire to death

Comment from tinman
Time: December 21, 2013, 1:56 am

Mary Tyler Moore

Comment from dissent555
Time: December 21, 2013, 2:31 am

Yes, well I accept this fine honor. I’d like to thank the Academy, and all my legions of fans over the years who have stood by me through thick and thin.

Now I’ll take Robert Reich in this round, ’cause I’m really tired of listening to his bullshit. Of course, this kind of rationale could extend to any number of our current ruling class. And if he goes before any of those named above, I’ll be really surprised.

Oh, and my luck last week did not extend to that gargantuan Mega-Millions jackpot. Damn.

Comment from LesterIII
Time: December 21, 2013, 3:28 am

Geez, most of the orchard has been picked. I’ll go with Harry Belafonte. Cuz he’s an outspoken, lunatic prick.

Comment from Tibby
Time: December 21, 2013, 3:30 am

Someone already took MTM – soooo, lessee, lessee….lets go with Dick Van Dyke – not that I’m wishing him ill or anything, but you know, we all gotta go sometime. And I’d love to lose to Gordon R. Durand or two lane flash. Please

Comment from ed
Time: December 21, 2013, 3:55 am

Edward Snowden. Because you never know when they might think the downside from his leaks might be better than the suicide by Obamacare that is going to dominate the news for the next few years.

Comment from ed
Time: December 21, 2013, 3:57 am

“Now I’ll take Robert Reich in this round…”

A well placed plane crash and it’ll be raining dicks all over the place … so to speak.

Comment from catnip
Time: December 21, 2013, 5:04 am

Actress Marsha Hunt

Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: December 21, 2013, 6:42 am

Stephen Hawking.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: December 21, 2013, 8:14 am

Groping for yet another novel pick. Time for a truly deserving candidate. Well, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than the one overlooking Turtle Bay.

Javier Pérez de Cuéllar, former UN Secretary-General.

Comment from Michael
Time: December 21, 2013, 11:14 am

Rosalyn Carter; just so Jimmeh can suffer…

Comment from Sam Paris
Time: December 21, 2013, 11:19 am

Mikhail Timofeyevich Kalashnikov. It’s well past time.

Comment from Oceania
Time: December 21, 2013, 11:31 am

If Sweasel has run out of Elephant shit, she could attend the McCaine party fund raiser next week when he gets DeadPooled?

Failing that, I could supply some Moa pat briskets and polished Gizzard Stones?
No office desk is complete without Moa stone gizzard paperweights.

Comment from Pablo
Time: December 21, 2013, 12:46 pm

Bob Dole.

Comment from platypuss
Time: December 21, 2013, 3:15 pm

Linda Ronstadt

Comment from Mandel Bread
Time: December 21, 2013, 4:50 pm

Al Molinaro

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: December 21, 2013, 4:59 pm

Gary Glitter (aka Oceania).

Comment from Roger Propering
Time: December 21, 2013, 5:33 pm

Morley Safer.

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: December 21, 2013, 7:29 pm

Ramsey Clark, rat bastard.

Comment from xul
Time: December 21, 2013, 7:41 pm

Since I’m waaaaay late and my usuals have already been swiped, I’ll go with Stan Lee.

Comment from Dr. Yes
Time: December 21, 2013, 8:24 pm

Sean Connery. About time.

Comment from Cindermutha
Time: December 21, 2013, 8:43 pm

George Soros

Comment from RealMc
Time: December 21, 2013, 10:36 pm

Piers Morgan

Choking slowly on a Duck Dynasty Duck Call.

Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: December 22, 2013, 2:38 am

Bob Barker. I guess.

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: December 22, 2013, 6:48 am

Wow. I’m late. REALLY late. It’s Sunday already? WTF?

That said – Carol Channing.

Comment from Zooom Zooom
Time: December 22, 2013, 3:32 pm

Clint Eastwood…..

Just caught a re-run of Heartbreak Ridge and he looked ancient in that….let alone the movies that have come along after that like Gran Torino.

There….he should survive this round now nicely!!

Comment from Zimmermanfan
Time: December 22, 2013, 3:36 pm

George Zimmerman

Call it a premonition. I think he’ll be THE factor in his own demise and sooner rather than later.

Comment from unkawill
Time: December 22, 2013, 9:27 pm

Bob Newhart.

Comment from Sockless Joe
Time: December 22, 2013, 10:05 pm

Lily Tomlin

Comment from cobrakai99
Time: December 22, 2013, 11:48 pm

Hillary so Focahontas can have her day.

Comment from Oceania
Time: December 23, 2013, 8:47 am

I might have to go with William Hannon I’m afraid.
New mycobacterium.

Comment from biztecka
Time: December 23, 2013, 12:59 pm

Sorry, dustoffmom. First time playing, and I don’t know what the regular picks are. Didn’t mean to step on your toes.

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: December 23, 2013, 3:31 pm

I’m sure dustoffmom was just commenting, not sniping.
Rule 3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
When in doubt about ethics, just ask yourself, “What would steve do?”

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: December 23, 2013, 4:02 pm

Anybody got Obama’s body-surfing schedule? The chum is ready to go in the water. Sharknado!

Please give me The Dick for Christmas, Santa. I deserve it after flying to Hawaii and cutting up all this stinking bait.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: December 23, 2013, 4:18 pm

Looks like Sam Parish wins the Dick riding Mikhail Kalashnikov. Say what you will, but the man invented one rugged firearm.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: December 23, 2013, 4:27 pm

Geez, I show up late and it’s all over.

I’m gonna go shooting Thursday in his honor.

Comment from dissent555
Time: December 23, 2013, 4:31 pm

Wow. Kalashnikov already? Is that some kind of record (fastest Dick?)?

Comment from Pablo
Time: December 23, 2013, 4:47 pm

Nope, not even close. We’ve had same day winners.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: December 23, 2013, 8:09 pm

Dang, that was quick! Almost full-automatic, y’might say…

Congrats to Sam Paris, even though I was really pullin’ for SomeVeg (or yours truly, natch). Similar to Veeshir, I will sally forth and fire off a few rounds of 7.62 X 39 in salute to ol’ Mikhail K. – not the most inspired or prolific firearms developer in history (that distinction, I think, goes unquestionably to the Near-Immortal John Moses Browning), but still a pretty fine gun-mechanic all the same.

Guess this means we gets ta do this another round come next Freitag, hey?…

Comment from biztecka
Time: December 23, 2013, 8:25 pm

Excellent. My mind is at rest. Thank you AltBBrown.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: December 23, 2013, 11:20 pm

@J.S.Bridges – I think I’ll do a little shooting, too, in memoriam. But I’ll be putting some .30-06 through my Garand. Not to disparage the short AK-47/AK-47S round, but my strong preference is for a bit more power and range.

My only issue now is what is the most politically incorrect target image can I get away with and not run the risk of the Secret Service or some other dang govt agency wanting a “chat” with me!

Comment from Oceania
Time: December 23, 2013, 11:41 pm

Oceania just got his grubby little paws on a EM2 – chambered in BR280! 🙂

I’m thinking of making re-designed replicas … for sale.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: December 24, 2013, 5:50 pm

Uncle Al, I heartily agree on the “…bit more power and range.”, especially with respect to the venerable and honorable (and still mighty effective) product of Mr. Garand’s genius and its most-commonly-found caliber of .30-06 (aka: .30 U.S. Gov’t.) – although I still have a couple or so “firesticks” in that caliber, however, I do not presently have a Garand (and my, haven’t they become pricey?), nor do I presently have ready access to a range that can accomodate the “Ought-Six” properly (you need at least a couple of hundred yards to let it really “stretch its legs”). So, for now, I’ll “make do” with a semi-auto-only version of the original AK-47 – more power to you, however.

As to the choice of “non-PC” targets – let your conscience (and your relative degree of privacy from Gubment “oversight”) be your guide.

A little early-on New Year’s Eve celebratory fireworks will soon commence…

Comment from As If I Cared
Time: January 4, 2014, 6:30 am

Ariel Sharon, comatose former PM of Israel

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