Dead Pool 195: the Ayatollah is with Allah
The Ayatollah is gone, gone, gone. I think we can all agree it’s a good thing, whatever happenss next. Bob Mulroy is the winner.
0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.
1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).
2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.
3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.
5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.
6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.
7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.
8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.
The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.
Note: I am woefully behind on dick deliveries. If I owe you one, you’ll know how long. I ain’t gived up, but I haven’t drawn much since lockdown. Some day, your heirs might hear from my heirs.
March 6, 2026 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 27
I’ve been there!
This picture came across my feed today. It’s the abandoned yellow brick road from a Seventies theme park in North Carolina.
My grandma took me there one year. She knew I liked the Wizard of Oz and was always at a loss what to do with me on summer visits.
Only, by that time I was a teenager and it wasn’t really appropriate. I remember it as being sad and a little creepy, even then.
Yes, my vodka came. Did Lavender Girl win the Dead Pool or what? I’m too lazy to work it out for myself.
March 5, 2026 — 7:10 pm
Comments: 5
Because Ricky Gervais needs my money, I guess
He’s bought a poncey vodka company. Then he made a whole series of fake ads like this one and claimed they’d been rejected by Transport for London. In truth, he’d never submitted them, but some people swore they’d seen them on the tube (and were awfully offended).
The usual pearl clutchers have clutched pearls because he’s the vodka that cried wolf.
Whatever. They were funny. But that’s old news, the new news is – my shipment of Dutch Barn is late. Should have been here an hour ago.
I bought some for Christmas and liked it, so I’ve just ordered a couple more bottles. It’s grossly overpriced, but once you get on their aggressive mailing list, you get deals.
March 4, 2026 — 6:28 pm
Comments: 3
That’s chutzpah
Guy goes for his driving test. Gets pulled over in the middle of it for a busted tail light. Reeks of marijuana smoke. Arrested on the spot. Mom very surprised to see a cop get out of the car back at the testing center.
What was the driving instructor thinking? Or his mom, for that matter?
Me, I’m laying low. I tried to use Uncle B’s new printer while he was napping and I borked it. It asked me for an IP address and I gave it a plausible answer. Sadly, not the right answer.
I think he has it fixed now, but I’m not allowed to print anything by myself.
March 3, 2026 — 7:13 pm
Comments: 4
Seems like a contradiction in terms
Water cremation. Just legalized in Scotland.
That’s what they call it, anyhoo. What they actually do is boil your corpse in potassium hydroxide and water for ninety minutes, leaving behind a nice, clean skeleton. Which they smash to powder and give to your family.
I guess the you slurry goes down the drain.
All of this is because – you guessed it – it’s greener than regular cremation. Cremation seems all very hands-off and clinical. I’m okay with it. This sounds like something I’d hate to imagine happening to someone I love.
March 2, 2026 — 7:33 pm
Comments: 8
This is what my set looked like
Remember Rapidograph? I wasn’t a technical draftsman, but I worked in the cubicle next to them. Although I think there was a period of time when Rapidograph pens had a cultural cachet among people who weren’t artists. Like, people who kept poncey diaries.
Anyway, I had a hankering for one and went into my local art shop today. He said oh, I stopped carrying those when they went up to £30(!). They’re about £40(!!) now, he says.
Well, I found them cheaper online, but new ones not by much. And it’s a real risk buying used ones.
They draw such fine lines because the ‘nib’ is a tiny steel cylinder. Inside it is a fine wire attached to a weight. Periodically, you shook the pen so the fine wire bobbed up and down, which cleared the cylinder and kept the ink moving. A studio full of draftsman made the clack-clackity-clack sound at scale.
But the fine wire wore out eventually. And if you let india ink dry hard (and everyone did from time to time), rehabilitating the nibs became a chore. Sometimes impossible. The smaller the nib, the harder to resurrect.
I can’t for the life of me find my set of Rapidographs. Most people these days use fancy felt tips instead, but I’m kinda stubborn. The real thing has a feel to it.
Have a good weekend, everyone!
p.s. I thought my server was down for hours, but it looks like my VPN was to blame.
February 27, 2026 — 7:00 pm
Comments: 9
I remember that!
Uncle B just reminded me of something I hadn’t thought of for years – Ling’s cars! Ling Valentine was a car dealer in Britain who was famous for her website. It was gloriously godawful.
The internet tells me she retired in 2020 to bike around the world with her husband and the remaining employees (Ling’s cars is still in business) have toned down the website considerably.
Fortunately, someone has preserved the old site in all its glory. Mostly.
February 26, 2026 — 7:20 pm
Comments: 6
Thanks, buddy
The website I’m building looks like ass on mobile phone, so I asked ChatGPT to help me fix it. Several tweaks later, the whole thing looks like ass on desktop.
Yes, that’s right, says ChatGPT, but it works better on phones.
Dear Weasel: Backup before every tweak.
I swear the version of this cartoon I remember in my head, both characters were cartoons, but Leo couldn’t find one. That’s right – I have a whole clique of robot friends.
February 25, 2026 — 6:08 pm
Comments: 11
Hold on – it’s coming
We’ve had a perfectly awful winter. Not cold, but wet and miserable and dark day after day after day. One sunny day every few weeks and then back to it. Everyone is depressed.
But the dickie birds know spring is coming. They’ve been singing their hearts out for days. And today – croci! (Flowers in black and white are stupid, here’s color).
March sometimes has a good thumping in it, but we’re almost through.
In the thread below, Jasonius asks if I’ve tried Claude. I have and I’m impressed. It’s the most conversational of the AIs so far. Try it. Ask it a neutral history question about your town, or a recipe, or how to get shoes that fit.
I’m paying for ChatGPT, though, and I feel obliged to use it. They’re all as good as each other for computer-y questions.
February 24, 2026 — 6:05 pm
Comments: 5
Robo-freud
I promised myself I’d never do anything personal with AI. I can’t for the life of me understand how people pour out their hearts to a command line. I’d feel silly.
But I was writing a business letter and I just couldn’t nail the tone, so I uploaded it to ChatGPT for advice.
It said don’t send this – it sounds querulous and weak. And then it wrote a second draft.
We spent the better part of a day going back and forth. Not just writing drafts, but it began asking me what I expected to get from this interaction. And then where I expected to be in five years. And how I was going to get there.
It asked probing questions and told me (somewhat) hard truths (ChatGPT errs on the obsequious side). I know it’s not genuinely insightful, but damn it’s been trained on some very good material.
At the end of the day, I felt a lot better about a lot of things, and I had a draft of the letter I was pleased with. It was kind of spooky, to be honest.
I’m not sure what to do with this information. It’s about to suck me down into a nightmare flaming demon hellscape, isn’t it?
February 23, 2026 — 7:40 pm
Comments: 7