The time has come. It’s time we return to an America where politicians have facial hair (and that’s not another dig at Hillary, who I’m sure has plenty).
I don’t really know enough of about Ted Cruz yet, to be honest. I just know he’s the orneriest cuss in politics at the moment and — whether it’s a posture or not — that’s just what I want to see. Somebody to upset a few apple carts.
That girlie mouth bothers me, though.
March 11, 2014 — 11:18 pm
I made Hillary a 2016 campaign poster, but it’s too big for my blog so I’ma make you click to see it.
I showed Uncle B while I was working on it and he said, “she’ll sue.” And I said, “she ought to sue — that’s just wrong.”
To be honest, if Hillary was that badass, I’d probably vote for her. Have you seen pics of her lately? She looks old, old, old. Older than her 66 years. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t drop out after all.
March 10, 2014 — 7:20 pm
Just messing around. (Sure, I got a bigger version). When was the last time Little Lord Fountleroy came up in conversation?
Good weekend, all!
March 7, 2014 — 9:25 pm
We took a long drive up the coast today. It was a good day for it; sunny and mild. Daffodils everywhere. AND WE SAW THE FIRST LAMBS OF THE SEASON. SQUEEE!
Spring is definitely coming. Just don’t lose your grip.
— 12:11 am
“Russian President Vladimir Putin’s intervention in Ukraine is not a sign of Russian strength…” said U.S. President Barack Obama, standing in an elementary school classroom on this colorful alphabet rug. Seriously. This happened. (Thanks to MikeW for the link in the comments). Doesn’t he have people to scope out these locations in advance?
Not that the press conference went out this way — the shot was framed in the standard talking-head-plus-flags format. Still, this day and age, they didn’t think other photos would leak to the internets?
Anyway, that’s the image I should have been riffing on tonight. Instead, I did something I haven’t done in years — got a book in the mail this morning and read it all in one go. Blew most of my day and had to sprint at the end.
March 6, 2014 — 12:13 am
Mad Jack, as he looks tonight relaxing on the sofa. Since you haven’t seen him in a while. I don’t know why he looks grumpy (maybe because I’m pointing a camera at him). The weather is finally improving a little here (sorry, ‘Muricans) and he’s having a spectacularly good time dashing up and down the lawn. Oh, how we worry about the road.
In other insane news, did you catch this thing in the New Republic, about how Vladimir Putin actually might be a little cray-cray? I know, I know…TNR. But this is their hired Putin-watcher, and it’s worth a read. This is Vlad at today’s press conference:
So I don’t know what happened there. It’s unclear. But did you see the bullets piercing the shields of the Berkut [special police]. That was obvious. As for who gave the order to shoot, I don’t know. Yanukovich didn’t give that order. He told me. I only know what Yanukovich told me. And I told him, don’t do it. You’ll bring chaos to your city. And he did it, and they toppled him. Look at that bacchanalia. The American political technologists they did their work well. And this isn’t the first time they’ve done this in Ukraine, no. Sometimes, I get the feeling that these people…these people in America. They are sitting there, in their laboratory, and doing experiments, like on rats. You’re not listening to me. I’ve already said, that yesterday, I met with three colleagues. Colleagues, you’re not listening. It’s not that Yanukovich said he’s not going to sign the agreement with Europe. What he said was that, based on the content of the agreement, having examined it, he did not like it. We have problems. We have a lot of problems in Russia. But they’re not as bad as in Ukraine.
She (the reporter) claims that’s pretty close to verbatim, and he rambled on like that for an hour. Also, Angela Merkel (who’s pretty sympatico with Vlad) said he was in “another world” after talking to him on the phone. Also (I can’t source this, I forgot where I read it, but ever’body’s talking about it) he claims those aren’t Russian troops in the Crimea. They’re locals, loyal to Russia, who just bought themselves Russian military uniforms, which you can totally get at Wal*Mart. Or something.
Honestly, I think the only reason our top guys never go entirely nuts is that they have a maximum of eight years to go loopy in.
March 4, 2014 — 11:54 pm
Two contradictory observations. One, I’m not sure the situation in Ukraine is as dangerous as it looks. And two, when powerful nutjobs and geopolitical forces are on the move, scary unexpected chainreaction bad things can happen.
Oh, and three — Putin’s nipples scare me.
March 3, 2014 — 10:18 pm
Been on a bean streak lately. You know, dried beans, soak ‘em overnight, cook ‘em with fatback. It’s probably a variety of homesickness; I come from a bean eating people.
When I went away to college, I had to call my mother and ask her, “when we have a bowl of beans…what exactly kind of beans are those?” At the time, my ignorance embarrassed me, but turns out it’s not such a dumb question. There are many varieties of small white bean, and recipes play fast and loose with the definitions.
The one I was looking for was probably the navy bean, which is called that because we stuffed American sailors full of them in the late 19th, early 20th. And I know that’s true, because I’ve just reached the point in Norman Rockwell’s autobiography where he joins the navy, and he describes desperately painting portraits if the officers to ingratiate himself and escape the endless beans in the regular mess. Poor bastards.
Those beans are called haricot beans here and they are the base bean for Heinz baked beans. Yup, hard to believe those vile neon orange fuckers are made out of the innocent white navy bean, but it’s true.
One of our local markets put a bunch of beans on the reduced rack — the more exotic varieties just weren’t selling, I guess — so I have some new and wonderful beans to try. I’m especially looking forward to adzuki beans, which are little read beans used in desserts in the East.
Why I thought you might like to spend the weekend here talking about beans, I couldn’t say, but allow me to recommend the Bean Institute‘s quarterly newsletter if the conversation runs dry. Good weekend, beaners!
February 28, 2014 — 10:45 pm
Anorak has a feature on the 13 worst recordings of the 1960s, and they illustrate it with this album cover of Mrs Miller (that one. Up there. At the top of this post).
Thanks to a link Oceania provided (I know, I know), I can inform you that for under twenty bucks, Wing will phone you up at your appointed time and place and sing to you. I realize people of good musical taste shrink from this sort of thing, but fuck it — I’m a banjo player. I listened to samples of Wing’s catalog the other night until I laughed like Muttley.
If you’ve ever wondered what happened to William Hung, he’s now a crime scene investigator for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department. So, living the CSI: dream, bitchez.
February 27, 2014 — 11:31 pm
Ladies and gentlemen, Viktor Yanukovich’s gold-encrusted bidet. You know, the ex-president of Ukraine who just did a runner.
I was a little uncomfortable with protestors raiding his house, but it turns out his official salary was less than $22,500 a year and — holy cow, you should see this place.
They’re dredging papers out of his personal lake that help document the corruption, and corruption it certainly is. He’s been in government since 1996, and before that he was regional head of a trucking company for twenty years, and before that he was a petty criminal, apparently. The ex-prosecutor-general Viktor Pshonka has skipped town, too, leaving a lavish palace behind.
Gold. Encrusted. Bidet. It’s a pity you can’t buy good taste.
p.s. Not, let’s be frank, that our lot are much better. There’s no possible way a legislator can rack up millions in office that doesn’t involve something very crooked and wrong.
February 26, 2014 — 11:45 pm