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The Year of the Pigeon

Excuse me if I’m bleary; we were startled awake in the wee hours by a pigeon. Pigeons. There was a lot of flapping and hoo-hooing.

It was so loud, I was sure it was a bird loose in the bedroom, but it warn’t. It was perched by an open window making a terrific racket.

Might have been multiple pigeons. Was probably sex-motivated.

Zo! In the last hour, two senior members of the Cabinet – the Secretary of State for Health & Social Care and the Chancellor of the Exchequer – have resigned. The is big and important, but I’m damned if I can tell you what it means.

An immediate coup? Maybe. Or maybe they’re distancing themselves in case of a coup in the near future.

What can I say? I am, after all, a ferriner. I can only tell you this has been a dreadful government and more dreadful people still are waiting in the shadows.

Doooooom!

July 5, 2022 — 6:49 pm
Comments: 3

Happy Independence Day, ‘Mericans!

I’ll bet you all had the day off.

Brits have been nice about it, actually. Everyone’s wished me a happy Fourth. Somebody asked if we were going to have turkey tonight, which tickled me. Like the only thing Americans can think to do on our special holidays is eat turkey. I think that might be the same person who asked if we give each other Thanksgiving Day cards.

We’re having hamburgers and beer tonight. That’s as much America as I have the energy for today. Hope you’re having a great one!

July 4, 2022 — 7:11 pm
Comments: 6

Dead Pool Round 153: born on the 1st of July

This one is sad. Lavendergirl takes it with Deborah James. She was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2016 and spent her remaining years campaigning and raising money for cancer charities. Dead age 40.

I prefer the “good riddance” picks, but sooner or later, the Dead Pool takes ’em all.

Are we ready? GO!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

July 1, 2022 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 44

Queeny cuppy cakes

Yes, the missing one is the one I bought. It was nice. I like cuppy cakes.

Nothing much to say for myself today. My little pigeon had vanished, as expected, but whether he flew off into the sunset or was eaten by the cat, I couldn’t say. No other pigeon has yet claimed the nest, though quite a few of them auditioned for it today.

Lavendergirl has won the dick with Deborah James, dead aged 40. Sad story, that. She was a school teacher until she was diagnosed with bowel cancer and spent her remaining years raising money and journalisming about cancer.

You know what that means? Yes, you do! Yes, you do! New Deadpool tomorrow. Be here, 6 WBT, and we will contemplate mortality together.

Nah, just kidding – we’ll laugh and chat and mark celebrities for death.

June 30, 2022 — 8:00 pm
Comments: 3

Oh, Your Majesty!

This is a postage stamp, y’all. From the Royal Mail, y’all (see Her Maj in the corner?). It’s part of a whole series of vomitously illustrated commemorative stamps for Pride Month

 

Reminds me of my favorite tweet of all time:  

June 29, 2022 — 6:57 pm
Comments: 15

These are not my pigeons

Today has been a day of pigeon drama. When I got to work early, one of the little ones was on the ground by the front door, looking stunned. I could see mama pigeon perched above watching him and I thought to myself, let nature take its course, Weasel. I found the other one had flown off (never to return, Wikipedia tells me).

About an hour later, when he hadn’t moved from the spot, I lost my nerve, brought him upstairs and put him back in the nest. After all, one of them was several days younger than the other, so perhaps this one was not quite ready.

Both mom and dad turned up to feed him, several times all morning. That in itself is unusual – we might see one of them, once, feeding the chicks. So I figured they were helping him build strength to try again. Which he didn’t seem at all inclined to do.

Until these two showed up.

These two are not the parents. They are totally different birds. I’ve never seen them before. They began to peck and pinch and kick the baby and make him squeak. I had never heard of any sort of bird community parenting – does it really take a village to raise a pigeon? – but I assumed they were encouraging him to fly off. Concerned aunties, maybe. It seemed awfully cruel, but I thought to myself, let nature take its course, Weasel.

The little one was ducking under the geraniums, squeaking and squirming and refusing to fly off and I lost my nerve again. Spooked them away.

I raised the blinds so they could see me better and waved at them. I shoo’d them off half a dozen times, at least. Eventually, they stopped coming back, though they did investigate the window box at the far left for a while (there are three).

You know what I think? I think they were trying to kick him out and steal that primo nesting spot. The internet won’t tell me if pigeons ever do that.

I’ve watched this little bird from egg to ugly mutant and I wasn’t about to see him harmed just as he was looking like a proper bird.

Things were stable when I left. Mom had been back to feed him again. He was stretching his legs and his wings and looking a lot more capable.

Thing is, I don’t work tomorrow. I will probably never know quite how this turns out. When I go in Thursday, there’s likely to be nothing to see, no matter what the outcome.

Except possibly a pigeon sitting on eggs again. They mate for life, return to the same nest and will hatch littl’uns over and over again, even in Winter, if the food supply is good.

I’m told oatmeal is good for them. Or rice.

June 28, 2022 — 7:40 pm
Comments: 4

Should be inna museum

Nethack has turned 35 and been inducted into the Museum of Modern Art (it appears to be Object 199863).

What is? One of the most wonderful and diabolically complex games ever created, and it could run on the stupidest hardware. I wrote more about it in 2009 when I finally won my first game…after playing for 24 years.

Hey, man, it’s about the journey.

Happy Monday, everyone! Twitter is still going REEEEEEEE!

June 27, 2022 — 7:42 pm
Comments: 4

Phew!

I was 13 when Roe v Wade was decided and I remember being very surprised that the court ruled the way they did. Abortion was only recently legal and in a very few states at that point, was wildly controversial, and a ruling from on high was only going to make matters worse. The Supremes weren’t usually that meddling.

Being only 13, my thoughts on the matter were probably a lot less coherent, but I got the emotional gist.

Abortion is not one of my biggest issues, though the Gosnell stuff got to me. But every law-talking-dude I’ve ever read says it was a complete mess of a decision. And goodness knows the Founders were unlikely to hide anything in the text that was pro-abortion. So, good riddance.

I wonder if they’ll burn DC to the ground tonight. Man, I’d miss the Smithsonian. Good weekend, everyone!

June 24, 2022 — 5:57 pm
Comments: 13

Happy birthday!

Clarence Thomas turns 74 today. I’m not going to pretend I read a *lot* of Supreme Court decisions, but when I do, Thomas is the best – his decisions are clear and explicable and his opinions are written that way.

Which is weird because English isn’t his first language. He grew up in a Georgia community speaking a creole dialect called Gullah. At least, that’s what Wikipedia told me.

Why on earth George Bush brought in a newbie to be Chief Justice when Thomas was Right There, I will never know.

Even if you don’t usually indulge in Twitter, today would be good day to take a peek. Lefty Twitter is going gaga over the gun ruling today.

If they strike down Roe v. Wade this week, I do think Twitter will spontaneously combust.

June 23, 2022 — 6:54 pm
Comments: 6

Boneless chicken

Chickens blissing out in the sun dissolve into formless heaps of feathers.

When we see a cat folded in half backwards off a sofa with his paws in the air and his mouth open, we’re like d’awwwww, he’s drooling. But a chicken relaxing in the grass looks like a stern object lesson about pesticides in the garden.

Relaxed chickens are impossible to paint.

June 22, 2022 — 7:56 pm
Comments: 9