web analytics

I called it!

Nobody told me Ted Cruz grew a beard! I! Me! This weasel! advised him to do that way back when he was the first hat in the ring for 2016 (on account of he has a prissy little mouth).

Pic on the right is my Photoshop. I like his actual beard even better — a tidy thing with a hint of gray. Looks so much better.

I feel like freaking Grace Bedell.

A reminder: Hillary was much improved with whiskers, too.

December 11, 2019 — 9:11 pm
Comments: 2

Actually…

This would be kind of neat. Can you imagine making a melty little ice Stonehenge around the cheese cubes and canapés? I’d like that.

But Uncle B wouldn’t. He’s British. They don’t do ice.

We get catalogues and emails from all the heritage sites and museums. There’s some really nice things in there and OH HOLY SHIT IT’S £600.

p.s. you can rule out anything that involves a trip to London. Only crazy people go there now.

December 10, 2019 — 10:16 pm
Comments: 18

A nasty, wasty weasel

 

We make a big deal out of Christmas. I insist. I love festivals of self-indulgence.

Maybe being childless does that. Or maybe I’m naturally a selfish piece of shit.

But it finally happened this year: we have run out of ideas for gifts. Anything either of us could possibly want we either already have or can’t afford. We had decided on a frugal Christmas for sheer lack of any great desire, and we’re still coming up short.

I know a little weasel who’s going to spend the next couple of days paging through amazon.com.

p.s. I made Uncle B sit through The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. It doesn’t travel well.
 

December 9, 2019 — 9:45 pm
Comments: 22

Location: my lap

Kitteh has decided he can’t bear to sleep anywhere but my lap. Must be a winter thing. He wuv me soooo much.

It’s really buggering up my hips and knees. I prop my feet up on a footstool and he settles on my upper thigh and it’s bending my joints wrong. Little dude is getting heavy.

Anyway, I’ve escaped for a moment (he’s gone outside for a wee) to wish you a good weekend. Good weekend!

December 6, 2019 — 9:18 pm
Comments: 8

No sooner finish one turkey…

I put down a deposit on our Christmas turkey today. As soon as we take out a second mortgage, I can pay off the rest.

Going to be around £45 for the smallest turkey they offer (a ten pound bird), which is about $60 at today’s exchange rate. I was pissing and moaning about turkey being a cheap meat in the States, and Uncle B said I’d better ask around to see if it still is.

We hear rumors that things are getting expensive over there.

Bear in mind, this is a free range bird that probably had a name. What would you expect to pay for such in ‘Merica today?

December 5, 2019 — 9:33 pm
Comments: 20

The wheels of the bus go ’round and ’round…

I never had to ride buses much growing up, so I don’t share an anti-bus prejudice. Riding in the top is actually kind of fun.

If I hadn’t had to get up before dawn and crack the ice on the chickens’ water, anyway.

Anyway. Made it there and back and had my chest x-ray which, all credit to the NHS, was very low-key and painless. Thanks for all the lung advice. I haven’t had good lung capacity since a bout of pneumonia some years ago. That’s when I learned that lung capacity and stamina are the same thing!

Let us hope I won’t have to repeat that journey any time soon.

December 4, 2019 — 8:29 pm
Comments: 4

Ever use one of these?

Early in the frosty morn, I’m going to get up, take a bus to the hospital and have a chest x-ray.

Or I won’t. It’s a walk-in clinic so I’m under no obligation if it’s really frosty. But my doctor suggested it on account of I’m in Week 9 of the Hacking Cough.

I’m not too worried. I was such a heavy smoker for such a long time, I always hang on to coughs weeks after the virus has gone. Takes me forever to get my stamina back.

I’m thinking of asking Santa for one of these, charmingly called an incentive spirometer. You blow on the thing and up go the balls, I gather. It’s for lung rehab. Doctors sometimes send pneumonia patients home with them to recoup some lung function.

Now is the time when the old people talk about their operations.

December 3, 2019 — 9:31 pm
Comments: 17

Spotted on the road

I’m torn on this one. On the one hand, you remember the name. On the other, Googling it is fraught and you’d surely lose the prude custom.

Not my pic. I saw the van twice today and didn’t have a camera ready either time. It’s from their Facebook page.

If you think it’s a Brit humor thing, there’s also one in Louisville, Kentucky.

Not to be outdone, there is Cold, Hard Nipples Air Conditioning in Nicosia, Cyprus.

Kentucky and Cyprus have more of a need for this kind of thing, obvsly.

December 2, 2019 — 8:40 pm
Comments: 10

Tonight, we switch

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in a 400 year old house, it is cold. And damp. I mean, it’s awesome, but there’s not much we’re allowed to do to keep the drafts out.

Fortunately, this is not a very cold country. Damp, yes, but it stays above freezing most of the time. It has been in the forties at night so far and we have been perfectly warm with wood fires. See above, our Thanksgiving night fire.

Tonight, it drops down near freezing and we’ve switched to coal. Well, not really coal: solid fuel. Which has coal in it, usually. It’s like charcoal briquets. This kicks out a lot more heat, but I don’t think it’s quite as pretty. It certainly doesn’t smell as nice.

Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving. We did. And I took today off.

November 29, 2019 — 9:54 pm
Comments: 17

Happy Thanksgiving, fellow Yanks!

Oh, yes. We observe Thanksgiving. And then some. We do it as a late night meal, though, so I’m just doing prep now.

Candied yams. Which the Internet tells me is almost certainly sweet potatoes. Apparently, the two plants aren’t even related. The more I look at pictures, though, the more confused I am as to what they sell here. Seeing as we’re closer to Africa (yam country) than South America (land of the sweet potato).

Sweet potato. I think.

Picture nicked from the North Carolina Sweet Potato website, which has many excellent recipes and other sweet potato facts. Please don’t hurt me, ncsweetpotatoes.com.

I’ve never understood why candied yams are a side dish and not part of the dessert course. Where I hail from, those suckers are sweet. Also, they taste so much like pumpkin, it’s kind of redundant if you’re having pumpkin pie.

Oh, and somebody once told me the canned pumpkin pie filling in the States is almost always really butternut squash. So much disillusion.

Happy, happy! I have tomorrow off and I hope you do, too!

November 28, 2019 — 7:51 pm
Comments: 10