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Atkins, rolling in his grave

bread

 

 

This is the breadmaker Sandy Claws brought Uncle B. At least, I think it’s this one. I got the picture off the web; I’m too lazy to go into the kitchen with a camera.

Yeah, still a holiday here. Because New Year’s fell on a Sunday, we got today off.

Don’t understand, but happy to accept it at face value.

He’s made a couple of excellent loaves just with the instruction book, but we were both a bit surprised to find there didn’t seem to be any good breadmaker forums online. I guess once you get it down, there’s not much to talk about.

Anybody know anything new and interesting to do with a breadmaker? ‘Possum stew or other regional favorite?

 

 

January 2, 2017 — 9:09 pm
Comments: 21

Dead Pool Round 94: Come on, 2016 – one last shot

Well, well. Carrie Fisher. A young death and a sad one.

But another win for weaselwannabe, and a sneaky win, at that. I love the sneaky ones.

Today’s Dead Pool is positively the last for 2016, which has 30 hours to take another celebrity victim. Go on, big guy…

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

December 30, 2016 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 90

The news is very silly

politics

I love this old picture so much. And I love watching Obama commit all sorts of counterproductive, futile and petulant bullshit on his way out. There’s a reason presidents traditionally lay low for their last couple of months, chum.

I was supposed to go to work this morning. The alarm went off and I just stared at it a while and went back to sleep. I am blessed to have that kind of job.

Back here tomorrow for the Dead Pool, and 2016’s last few thrilling hours!

December 29, 2016 — 9:49 pm
Comments: 12

Turkeys: the paste-eating mouth breathers of the poultry world

turkeys

I stole this picture from National Geographic. At first, I couldn’t work out what it was. Some sort of two-headed conjoined twin turkey maybe. But no, it’s just a pair of Meleagris gallopavo being they own brilliant selfs.

I’ll be honest with you — I think our turkey this year had a leeeetle too much fresh air and healthful exercise. She was tough-ish. More indolence and lounging around the barn for the next one, I think.

Anyway, I’ve boiled down the carcass and made a pie for tonight. A bit of soup tomorrow, and that’s the bird done.

On to the ham!

December 28, 2016 — 11:07 pm
Comments: 14

What the hell, 2016?

death

Well, I’ll be damned. New Dead Pool. At least I’m not on the hook for George Michael.

Third(?) win for weaselwannabe, I think. A reminder to all winners of dick: even if you’ve won before, I need a confirmation of your address (and the nick it goes with) please. I am, in fact, starting to work down the backlog again.

The image is from Gustave Doré, one of my absolute favorite illustrators from childhood. Why someone would give a little girl an illustrated Dante’s Inferno is the question. “Weasel family” is the answer.

There’s always been a niggling doubt in my mind whether the magic of his illustrations should actually be credited to the engraver instead.

So. New Dead Pool Friday. After which, you realize, 2016 will have almost 30 hours to squeeze one more winner in.

December 27, 2016 — 9:57 pm
Comments: 19

Happy Boxing Day!

boxinggloves

All these years in the UK, I still haven’t worked out WTF that means.

We had a lovely Christmas: tons of lovely loot, heaps of lovely food. That social butterfly of a free-range turkey was delicious, though her legs reflected a toughness born of all the exercise she got running around gossiping with her turkey friends in flowery meadows. The cats get that part.

I still haven’t recovered my stamina, though, so I won’t linger. Santa prescribes indolence and reading of books.

Hope yours was as nice as ours!

December 26, 2016 — 10:31 pm
Comments: 16

Dead Pool Round 93: Christmas Eve Eve Edition

Zsa Zsa at last! I thought she’d never go. All hail LesterIII for being the last one with a chair when the music stopped. Is this win #3?

Now, it is the day before the day before Christmas, and likely the last Dead Pool of 2016. Make this one count!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

December 23, 2016 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 78

…and her name was Lorelai…

turkey

I shit you not, this is printed on the bag our Christmas turkey is in. I’m all for animal welfare, but I kind of feel bad for cutting this bird down in the prime of her life. She was having such a lovely time.

More on “high welfare” farming here.

Don’t forget — back here tomorrow 6WBT for Dead Pool Round 93!

December 22, 2016 — 10:21 pm
Comments: 15

Some slack, please

rhinovirus

No, that’s not a charming crocheted tree ornament, it’s a 3D representation of a human rhinovirus and I got one for Christmas!

That wouldn’t be so bad, except it’s my third in a row. One after the other. I’ve never seen anything like it. I didn’t even know it was possible.

Some time in mid September, I got a sort of a sleepy flu thing — chesty cough and extreme fatigue. Lots of people around got it at the same time. After which I got a cold. After which I got a cold. After which I got a cold. I have been continuously hacking and snotting for almost four months.

How can this be? I’m amazed there are that many different rhinoviruses floating around town. Clearly, my immune system is shot to hell.

One of my neighbors turned up (briefly!) at coffee this morning with a case of the calamitous shits and if I catch that one for the holidays I swear I’m done.

I’ve tried every remedy suggested to me. My favorite so far is whisky. Or whiskey. I’m not picky.

Any other suggestions?

December 21, 2016 — 9:31 pm
Comments: 24

Heyyyy, that’s not Santa!

geralt

Noooo, it’s Geralt of Rivia cosplay. There’s a calendar. It promises to be NSFW. German dude is a full-time professional cosplayer. He’s super well suited to playing Geralt, but I think he’d struggle a little with Hello Kitty.

Oh, that star-shaped scar is on the wrong side. Funny thing to get wrong, Herr Professional. Nope, he’s right. Oops!

Did you see MTV’s vile racist “White Guy Resolutions for 2017” video today? They must’ve gotten some stick for it because they’ve taken it down already. Happily Reason magazine saved you a copy (be warned: Nick Gillespie does a bit of libertarian pearl-clutching in the accompanying article).

I also have something to say to white guys for 2017. Big, big fan of your work. Thanks for everything you do.

December 20, 2016 — 7:42 pm
Comments: 15