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Air fryer pizza!

You may recall that among my many accomplishments, I once made pizza for a living. Specifically, Sicilian deep dish pizza. Now I have mastered the art of homemade za in the air fryer, using this ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Can’t be clickbait, you’re here already.

If you can get it where you are, buy a pound of raw white bread dough (don’t sell it here, so I do the pizza program on the breadmaker). That will make three 9″ pies, or two if you like a lot of crust. It freezes wonderfully.

Dough works better if it’s a little warm; I usually give it twenty seconds in the nuker. Roll it out with a rolling pin and then place it in the bottom of the food basket, with the grill removed, and press it around the sides. Unless you’re some kind of crazy cleanaholic, the basket is probably just oily enough that the dough will come out easily when it’s done.

Give it five minutes or so, until the dough holds its shape and has a little strength. Then – here’s the important thing I learned! – flip it over and give it about seven minutes upside down, until it’s just starting to brown. If you don’t do this, the pie will be gluey and underdone on the bottom.

Flip it back over and add sauce (I used storebought spaghetti sauce with a little added olive oil and cracked black pepper because I’m lazy like that). That poor little bent spoon is perfect for spreading the sauce around – and hooking under the edge of the dough to lift it out whenever necessary.

The pie I was taught to make has the ingredients under a solid layer of cheese, and that’s my preference. This one is bell pepper, onion, mushroom and pepperoni. I cook that part for a few minutes in its own before adding cheese. The house mixture was 50/50 cheddar and mozzarella.

Cook until desired doneness (I like the cheese a little browned), hook it out with your ickle spoon, and viola!

Since all food looks gross in black and white, here’s the final product in color.

Or you can buy a 9″ supermarket frozen pizza and give it ten minutes. That’s good, too.

November 16, 2022 — 5:01 pm
Comments: 9

Say, what’s your battleship doing in my back yard?

Okay, it’s anchored off Hampshire, the county next door, but it’s near enough. People are gathering on shore to gawp at it. The USS Gerald R. Ford. Wikipedia says it’s the largest warship ever built in terms of displacement, which I guess means there might be a different shaped boat that comes close.

It’s too big to anchor in Portsmouth, so it’s just hanging out there looking…big for a couple of days.

Ooo…Gerald Ford was a hottie back in the day. Who would’ve guessed?

Unrelated: today I learned bears don’t have collarbones and can squeeze themselves through tiny opening. Okay, not entirely true – they have free-floating collarbones, but they can sure squeeze themselves through tiny openings like big rats.

Here is a 500 pound bear squeezing hisself through a 14″ by 14″ crawlspace window.

November 15, 2022 — 7:00 pm
Comments: 10

Weasel fall down, go ouch

I caught my toe in something yesterday and did a faceplant in the chicken run. The filthy, muddy chicken run. I’m not badly hurt – I biked into work this morning – but I’m sore and inclined to feel sorry for myself.

The terribly pixelated image is Willy Weasel, punching bag of the Tufty Safety Club. I’ve written about Tufty before. Willy got an icecream, so they ran over him with a car.

They ran over him at least twice in that series, but I’m sure I remember one where Willy gets hit and spins around three times in the air while the slide whistle goes woo-woo-woo.

It’s enough to give a weasel a persecution complex.

November 14, 2022 — 6:47 pm
Comments: 3

Boom!

Brits love their fireworks, but the locals especially love a maroon. It is a very big boom to mark timed occasions, like a minute of silence.

There was a maroon this morning at 11:00 and 11:02. There were two on the day after the queen died (to mark the Accession, I think).

There will be one at the start of the bonfire night fireworks – which, as I have explained before, is staggered in Sussex so every local bonfire society can march in everyone else’s parade. It goes on for months.

Anyway, I try to observe the proper decorum, but I’m afraid every time one of these bad boys goes off, I think to myself “Wotta maroon!” in Bugs Bunny’s voice. I will always be an American.

Have a good weekend, maroons!

November 11, 2022 — 6:39 pm
Comments: 15

Mystery solved

One area where we have consistently gained ground in the culture wars is guns, which slightly puzzled me. I was playing my latest VR game earlier and the penny dropped – when you play first person shooters, love of guns is baked in. Guys who grew up with this stuff (and that’s most of them now) will never be afraid of guns.

This game, like most, features guns that exist in the real world and the more you know about them the better your game. I’ll bet there are guys who have learned squillions playing games like this. I’ll bet if I went to the range today, my shooting would have improved.

In VR, too, you aren’t entering keyboard commands, you’re using your hands to eject the magazine or release the safety or pump the shotgun. You’d have to want to try it for real. Have to.

Oh, this is a weird little survival-horror game called Into The Radius, and it’s happy to hand me my ass all day long. But not tonight – tonight I’m having to run a Zoom conference : (

November 10, 2022 — 6:42 pm
Comments: 4

Behold!

The worst chicken house ever bodged together by human hands. Yes, the roof doesn’t align, like, at all. Yes, the door is held shut by a twisted bit of wire (it was fully 1/8th of an inch too tall to fit in the frame).

Finally, I called Uncle B out and we hit it with hammers until it submitted. I’m not done ‘finishing’ it, but I have a feeling we’ll be covering the roof in tarpaper. Honestly, it could not possibly have gone together the way the ‘instructions’ said it would.

Moe will be warm and dry and have a proper perch to sleep upon, so I’m calling it a win.

As for the red wave that didn’t, I haven’t much to say – except that it is extremely unusual for the betting shops to get it this wrong. Pollsters, yes. People with money on the line, not so much. I think we’re in uncharted waters and the old rules no longer apply – for whatever reason.

I’m’a dip out of politics for a while, until I can act less butt-hurt.

November 9, 2022 — 3:56 pm
Comments: 13

New fren

This girl was waiting for me at work today. Never seen her before. She was skinny, but I think she’s old. She seemed intrigued by her surroundings, so I have a suspicion she’s someone’s inside cat that managed to get loose. I kept checking for her through the day, but she didn’t come back.

I hope she’s safe and warm someplace – the weather is wild again today.

You, though – you need to get out and VOTE! VOTE LIKE THE WIND!

I understand machinery is on the blink in key cities and the news media has been calling it “totally normal” for the vote count to take days. How ever will we ever clean up the hot spots?

November 8, 2022 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 13

I don’t mean to brag…

…but I got a thousand followers on Twitter now. And it only took 14 years, a change in ownership and firing half the staff.

Twitter does seem a little different. The big accounts say their numbers are galloping. Mine are slinking, but seldom moved at all before. Definitely not seen an uptick in ‘hateful’ language. Not as much stuff seems deboosted (hidden under a “click for more” button). And he says he hasn’t actually changed anything yet.

He did urge everyone to vote Republican tomorrow – for the perfectly libertarian reason of a divided government – but you can imagine how the blue-checks have reacted.

So far, none of the people who’ve said they are leaving have, in fact, deleted their accounts. The ones I’ve checked, anyway.

November 7, 2022 — 6:36 pm
Comments: 7

Dead Pool 160: this time he’s really dead

Jerry Lee Lewis was dead. Then he wasn’t. Then he was dead again. Hottytottygirl nipped in during his brief period of resurrection to claim the dick, in the fine tradition of a weasel’s Dead Pool.

He was 87, which is a pretty good run for a man of his inclinations.

Looking for a good link about him, I found this whey-faced, scoldy article in Rolling Stone: “Jerry Lee Lewis Was a Rock & Roll Titan. That Doesn’t Justify What He Did Offstage.” Rolling Stone is now indistinguishable from your maiden aunt.

No link because to hell with them.

Anyway! I forgot this all happened last week and I swore there would be a Dead Pool this week, so here it is! Knock yourselves out!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

November 4, 2022 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 50

My poultry empire groweth

I fully intended to downsize my flock, but the boys have all hung on tenaciously and there’s one poor rooster whose housing is simply unacceptable. It was okay in Summer when he could swan around a sunny garden all day, but completely inadequate for the long dark nights and biblical levels of rain we’re having.

This is the cheap little house I bought and it’s just right for one adult bantam. It’s due here tomorrow. I suppose I can always use it as a hospital pen or a way of introducing baby chicks to the flock.

No more roosters, ever again. Sadly. I’ve enjoyed my boys, but they are a helluva lot of extra effort.

I reckon this will just fit between my first house and my second, making a sort of chickenhouse city skyline. Though I’m mighty tempted to put wheels on one end and roll it around the garden. (Some of the really expensive ones do that).


Oh! I forgot Jerry Lee Lewis died last week and I promised you a Dead Pool this week. Okay, okay…queueing one up now…DEAD POOL TODAY.

November 3, 2022 — 7:04 pm
Comments: 9