Barry O’Badass
US President Barack Obama described the lonely decision he made to mount a Navy SEAL raid to kill Osama bin Laden and called the daring escapade the “most important single day” of his tenure.
In an interview to be broadcast later Wednesday, Obama talked about the nerve jangling moments he endured as he watched the operation, the cloak of secrecy that enveloped it and the moment he saw a photo of the dead Al-Qaeda leader.
“I did choose the risk,” Obama told NBC News anchor Brian Williams, in the latest episode of a nearly week-long commemoration of the anniversary of the bin Laden killing.
Oh, my giddy aunt! A week-long commemoration?
May 2, 2012 — 8:56 pm
Comments: 39
Oh, how I love the easy ones
Oh, THANK you, Obama for your wonderful ham-handedness. In case you missed it in the comments, here is the new Forward logo in white on black and here it is black on white. Traced from the video, so it’s pretty close. These are probably big enough to roll your own t-shirts and bumper stickers, but I can supply other sizes or formats (including .psd) should anyone require.
Hm. It just occurred to me — “forward” is another way to say “stay the same.” A neat bookend to the “change” slogan of 2008, no?
Speaking of stupid, Obama could have had days of positive coverage on the anniversary of the bin Laden raid, without a peep of partisan dissent — if only he could’ve played it like a grownup. But no, he had to go and imply that Romney wouldn’t be man enough to, um, return a phone call. Handing Romney a personally autographed permission slip to utter the bestest one-liner of the political season:
Even Jimmy Carter would have given that order.
Grossly unfair to Jimmy Carter, but it was wicked funny. Also, fuck it — Jimmy Carter.
Errors not so funny: is it a good idea to observe the anniversary of OBL’s death in Afghanistan? Even the Afghanis inclined to approve of us and disapprove of him can’t be filled with joy at the killing of a co-religionist. People take these things personally. And the Talibunnies must be fucking furious.
I admit, I’m lost in the regional/sectarian nuances of the Ummah, but this strikes me as a gesture that makes lives in danger more endangered.
May 1, 2012 — 10:26 pm
Comments: 26
Happy Walpurgisnacht, we-yotches!
Happy Walpurgis Night! It’s exactly six months from Hallowe’en, and you know what that means — Witches’ Sabbath!
It’s a Northern European thing. Bonfires. Witches. The usual.
It’s named after Saint Walpurga (or Walburga), who wasn’t a witch or on fire or anything (and she sure isn’t the lady in the middle of that picture — what is that woman doing to that poor goat?). Pure coincidence Walpurga was canonized on May 1.
So it’s another one of those, “witches? wait, what? Oh, nonono, Father, you misunderstand. We aren’t celebrating our ancient pagan customs. We’re piously observing…ummm…Saint Whatsername’s Day. Um, Walburga — yeah, that’s it!”
Unrelated things that happened today which amused me: Lefties ganging up on Righties, reporting them as spammers to get their feelthy ‘winger accounts auto-blocked on Twitter.
Pasty blond blue-eyed Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren was listed as a minority faculty member at Harvard in the Nineties, based on undocumented family legends she had Native American ancestors (the Boston Herald helpfully describes them as her “maternal parents”). Dear Miz Warren: EVERY FAMILY IN AMERICA TELLS THIS STORY ABOUT ITSELF.
And the Obama campaign released a new video today and announced its 2012 slogan. Are you ready? Forward.
No, that’s it: Forward. I don’t even think they sprang for the exclamation point.
Forward.
Mmmm mmmm — can you smell the t-shirts?
April 30, 2012 — 7:06 pm
Comments: 56
Round 28: (Round 27 we hardly knew ye)
Pablo pulled a fast one with Chuck Colson. And by “pulled a fast one” I mean “showed the sort of quick-witted sneaky gamesmanship worthy of a weasel blog.”
One day. A fast one, but not (by a long shot) the fastest one ever.
Right! Gird your loins.
0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar.
1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).
2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.
3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?
5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.
6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.
7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.
8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.
What do we want? Aunty’s dick! When do we want it? When somebody on the list dies!
April 27, 2012 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 116
World exclusive!
“I promise you,” Biden said, “the President has a big stick.
This is Joe Biden, after all, so we can’t be sure if he meant, “Barack Obama is unafraid to command the full might of the US military” or “black mens sho’ has big penises.”
That’s what I love about our Vice President.
Alrighty then. Here. Tomorrow. Six sharp, WBT. Dead Pool: Round 28.
April 26, 2012 — 10:11 pm
Comments: 22
Cringeworthy
Wow. That was embarrassing. At least the RNC has managed to make a little hay with it.
I’m sure this is one of those political Rorschach thingies, where Team Obama thinks it’s charming and Team AnybodyBut thinks it’s beneath the dignity of the office. But 2008 is not 2012 and, stepping back, if it’s a choice between the cool guy and the competent guy, I bet competent wins.
I think I stole that last line, but I’ve read so many blogs today, I don’t remember where.
April 25, 2012 — 9:35 pm
Comments: 21
Mee-maw, that you?
Capitalism, like oxygen, expands to fill all available space.
I was looking for a Kindle version of Carole King’s new autobiography, Natural Woman, and that particular word combination turned up this guy.
His deal is, he finds old nudie pictures — old enough to be way out of copyright — collects them, Kindles them and sells the collections for a couple of quid each. Genius.
Amazon e-books are giving the old publishing houses the vapors, but all the attention so far has been on authors self-publishing their own titles.
Grandma Buttnekkid McNuderson here gives us a glimpse of a whole ‘nother universe of opportunity.
Think of all the bzillions of works out of copyright and kicking around the ‘net. Formatting those properly for Kindle adds genuine value. Plus an interesting introduction, a good cover, maybe some illustrations. Hell yes I’d pay a couple of bucks for that rather than struggle with the unformatted Project Gutenberg version.
Out of nothing, opportunity. Behold the free market!
April 24, 2012 — 8:42 pm
Comments: 39
A tale of two presidents
I love this picture. It’s awesome when I don’t even have to Photoshop ‘em.
Yeah, I’ve seen the caption about the Colombian hookers, but I think this picture is even funnier all by itself. It so nails these two guys.
I’m a charter member in the Bill Clinton H8ters of America, but I’ll give him this — dude loved being president. LOVED it. Remember his last day, Bush’s inauguration, and Clinton was in some hangar somewhere giving a farewell speech that dragged on and on and on until it was like one of those twelve-hour Castro TV performances where nobody could change the channel and people were dropping like flies?
When Bill left office, he left claw marks.
Now look at Obama’s face. Look at it and think about how deeply you have disappointed this man. Yes, you. You and your stubbornness and your ignorance and your inability to appreciate the awesomeness of Barack Obama.
Honestly, you people are lucky he’s even considering giving you another term.
Meanwhile, Pablo snagged the dick fair and square with Chuck Colson. You know what that means? See you Friday!
April 23, 2012 — 10:21 pm
Comments: 24
Round 27: the Summer of Dick
A dick for a dick – FGW wins it with Dick Clark.
Eighty-two. I’d've guessed older. Something about trying to look forever young will do that.
Okay, here we go…!
0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar.
1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).
2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.
3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?
5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.
6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.
7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.
8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.
What do we want? Aunty’s dick! When do we want it? When somebody on the list dies!
April 20, 2012 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 118
They’re after my blood
So hungry. No food.
An hour. Maybe two.
Yeah, tomorrow morning is my annual blood letting, so I’ve got me a fourteen-hour fast going. That part is mandatory. Before that, I was packing down oatmeal and icewater, trying to game my cholesterol numbers.
I don’t really give a shit about my cholesterol numbers, but I don’t want to go on a statin and I don’t want a confrontation with my doctor.
Four blood samples now (including my last one in the States), the doctor has given me that I’d-really-like-to-put-you-on-a-statin look.
In fact, I think the very last phone call I took in the United States was from my doctor’s office, calling me back to talk about my blood numbers.
Imagine that — my last memory of America is, “wait! Come back! Staaaaatinnnnn…!”
Ugh. I’m so hungry right now, I could eat a rottweiler.
Remember – tomorrow, 6pm sharp WBT (aka GMT) – Dead Pool Round 27. See ya!
April 19, 2012 — 9:16 pm
Comments: 73