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So eager to please!

seamonkeys

I have intensely vivid dreams, sometimes. I did last night. I won’t bore you with them.

My mother, she insisted on telling me her dreams in great detail in the mornings. Oh, this was grim. When I tried to cut her off, she’d say, “no, no — here’s where it gets interesting!”

It never did. Other people’s dreams never do.

I have a theory about dreams. I think your brain rehearses all sorts of arbitrary imagery and rehearses arbitrary emotions simultaneously. So you get random scenarios jammed up with with random (sometimes profound) feelings.

The shovel that makes you feel guilty. The fish that frightens you. We won’t even touch inappropriately lusty dreams. These can feel hugely meaningful, and aren’t. That’s my theory, anyway. Ahem.

seamonkeys5w

Anyway, at the dramatic conclusion of my final dream, I turned to my boss (an actual boss from many years ago) and shouted, “you have the aesthetic sensibilities of a sea monkey!” Which I think is rather good. “Brine shrimp” would probably be better, but hey. I was unconscious.

A friend of mine got taken in by that Sea Monkey ad. A very, very stupid friend. He must have got the temperature wrong or something, because all he got was a sad plastic castle full of smelly water. If you’ve ever wondered, here’s what healthy brine shrimp look like at five weeks old.

February 7, 2018 — 9:23 pm
Comments: 10

O, Canada!

unicorntrudeau

So the image above came up in my Twitter feed. While it is obviously Trudeau entertaining a unicorn hand-puppet, the tweet that went with identified it as the Gender Identity Unicorn.

buttertrudeau

Sadly, it’s not, though I’m suspicious of the rainbow-colored horn. It is Gary of Gary’s Hug Club, a club started by a puppeteer who…solicits hugs. Yes, he hugged it.

As did Margaret Atwood (scroll down), that dessicated old bore (I’m still salty I had to read so much of her feminist shite in High School). She’s been all over British radio this week talking about…I don’t know. Her twat or something.

In the course of my researches, I rediscovered Small Dead Animals — remember? It’s a really splendid Canadian blog that I used to love back in the day. That is, back in the day when I had a corporate gig and read a bajillion blogs every day.

Oh, also I found this butter sculpture of Justin Trudeau hugging two baby pandas. Because of course I did.

February 6, 2018 — 8:20 pm
Comments: 11

Oh, Monday!

thundersnow

Well, my day started with thundersnow and went downhill from there. First snow of the year, and it came down like a bastard for about two hours. Then the sun came up and the temps rose and it all melted away. It was pretty while it lasted, but no fun on a bike.

Oh, and a badger crossed my path. An actual one. He ran up the driveway and disappeared in a bush. This was pretty cool to see, but not great news if you keep cats and chickens.

I’d like to point out that I have now seen a badger and a weasel out my front door. That sounds like the start of a really odd English blues song.

Then I had two meetings today. Two. I moved to Olde Englande to get away from this piffle.

How was your day?

February 5, 2018 — 9:49 pm
Comments: 10

teehee

kt

Katie Hopkins cracks me up. I highly recommend you follow her Twitter.

Wait, no I don’t. I’ve decided Twitter is bad mojo, whether you follow people you agree with, people you don’t agree with or a mix. I think there’s something about the pace of it that engages rat-brain in an unhealthy way.

Also, it’s becoming a roving band of SJW hit mobs. I don’t suppose any of them realizes how boring Twitter will be for them if they succeed in driving off all the Nazis. They’ll have no choice but to turn on each other before killing the platform entirely. Won’t that be fun?

Well, the Nunes memo has dropped. I dub it: serious, but unsexy. I don’t think there’s anything there we didn’t suspect, and nobody will suffer for it but some deputy assistant dweeb nobody’s ever heard of (and he’ll get to retire vountarily with his full pension). I’m just glad we can pursue this with Trump as winner; it would look awful if the GOP chased it down as the losing party.

There are hints that more is to come. I hope so.

Well, folks, looking back I realize I had a lot of fun with my new toy this week and made some pretty bad art with it. I’ll work on that. This weekend, I think I’ll push oily dirt around on fabric with a stick (we watched a program on Rembrandt last night; I got to bust out the oil paint).

Have a good weekend, all!

February 2, 2018 — 7:40 pm
Comments: 6

Artist’s reconstruction

sotu

I didn’t watch the SOTU, but I watched the MSM coverage and I’m pretty sure this is exactly how it went down. (Actually, I played around with Hitler tattoos and popping the heads off baby bunnies but in the end, I wasn’t feeling it).

Actually, I’ve been very gratified at the reactions I’ve read. Not the MSM, obviously — real people. And ones not normally inclined to approve of Trump.

February 1, 2018 — 9:43 pm
Comments: 9

State of the Union 2018

sentience

denture

 

 

I didn’t watch the SOTU. I never do. My spleen won’t take it, no matter who’s in office.

I caught the pictures of Nancy’s face, though — holy shit! Who was THAT performance supposed to appeal to?

p.s. Wow, just noticed how overcontrasty this picture is. I think my new toy needs a bit of adjustment.

 

 

January 31, 2018 — 9:32 pm
Comments: 8

Nah. Probably not.

moses

Y’all know it’s not going to be like this, right? They’re going to break our hearts. They always do.

They’re going to release the memo, and it’s going to be a big, fluffy nothingburger and fries and all the cool kids will laugh at us. Again.

Please, events — prove me wrong!

January 30, 2018 — 9:19 pm
Comments: 19

Enter title here

ratx
 

 

Yes, of course I went with Peruvian shower rat. I like rats.

Only, somebody in the YouTube comments said you soap up the rat and he just goes nuts trying to wash it off.

So, not so cute. Still…
 

 

 

Eh. I don’t handle Mondays so good.
 

 

 

January 29, 2018 — 9:25 pm
Comments: 9

It ain’t art

notart

…but I sure am having fun!

I really like this thing as a monitor, just for tootling around the web. I’d like it even better if it was touch screen, but I suspect that’s what the expensive ones are for.

Have a good weekend, y’all!

January 26, 2018 — 10:03 pm
Comments: 7

I am now officially cooler than all y’all

tablet

Oh my god, you guys — I have wanted one of these since…since it was invented. That’s maybe 20 years ago now. It’s a monitor, but you draw directly on it.

Maybe that doesn’t sound all that keen, but it solves the big problem with computer tablet: you can look at your hand, or you can look at the monitor, but you can’t look at both at once. That makes it extremely hard to draw. Or write legibly.

As with other tablets, the main brand is Wacom and their monitor version is the Cintiq. And that sucker, in its 20″ form, is almost £2,000.

Enter the Chinese. I’ve bought a cheap knockoff — for all I know, made in the same factory as the Cintiq — for less than a quarter of the price. And it came with a snazzy glove. Well, part of one.

It came this morning. I was going to use it as a second monitor, but I’m awfully tempted to use it as my only monitor. It is Just That Good.

My main concern is going blind. No, really…I’m sitting with my nose practically pressed against the screen. And I’m loving it. My optomowotsit told me that my eyes weren’t deteriorating, they were just…stuck in the peasant lace-makers position from all the close work I do.

p.s. That is not my computer. It is not my hand. I stole them from here, and added my chicken. Because that’s the kind of thing you can do really fast WHEN YOU HAVE AN AWESOME MONITOR TABLET!!!

January 25, 2018 — 7:23 pm
Comments: 18