I got receipts!
I beat Uncle B about the head and shoulders with an inflated pig’s bladder until he rendered up the recipe. For the cake curious:
The Receipt
8 oz butter
8 oz soft dark brown sugar (ideally muscovado)
1 tablespoon black treacle
Grated peel of 1 lemon
4 medium sized eggs
9oz plain flour
1 tsp mixed spice
1/2 nutmeg grated
4 oz glace cherries
4 oz ground almonds
2 tablespoon sherry or brandy
The Method (Stavislavski did not know about this)
Cream the softened butter with a wooden spoon. Beat it, in fact. It owed you everything and is very lazy.
Add the sugar and treacle (keep beating – it will work eventually if you force it to). Sieve the flour and spices into the mix, stirring thoroughly. Beat the eggs (S&M time again) then stir into the mix, a little at a time. Add the fruit. If you can’t get mixed fruit, choose your own combination of currants, raisins and sultanas with mixed peel in proportions to taste. Also add grated lemon peel, nutmeg and brandy or sherry at this stage. Also ground almonds.
Stir it all very thoroughly, folding it all in, (an electric mixer will help but a wooden spoon is better – tradition!).
Place the gloppy mixture into an 8″ round cake tin lined with buttered greaseproof paper or baking parchment. Take several thick sheets of brown paper (newspaper works as well) and wrap the tin with it, tying it with string (not nylon string!). Cut a further piece of greaseproof to sit on top of the cake but cut a hole in the middle about 1″ diameter -coin size and shape.
Bake in the middle of an oven at 300 Fahrenheit for 3 1/2-4 hours. After three hours take a look at it. If the mixture is coming way from the sides of the tin, it may be on the way, so turn the oven down a little and pop hem (see Eliza Acton for why ‘hem’ is correct) back in. When the top seems golden brown and the mix is slightly away from the sides you can insert a skewer (if not, a long toothpick). If that comes out without any mix stuck to it, yer cake’s done.
This is important! Leave it to thoroughly cool, then carefully extract from the tin (I like spring loaded cake tins with removable bases). When absolutely cool, wrap in two sheets of greaseproof and silver foil after that. Store in a tin.
A week later, unwrap your cake. Cackle merrily and prick it with a toothpick until it confesses and then feed it with two tablespoons of brandy. My Canadian relatives use whisky, but Canadians, eh?
Repeat weekly. Be certain to drink what is left over from feeding the cake. Icing I don’t do…nor marzipan…
God save King Big Ears!…on second thoughts…maybe you lot were right after all. They say New Hampshire is nice at this time of the year.
Do they make worm pies there?
Henry Kissinger has fallen off the perch at last. Let us congregate here tomorrow for DEAD POOL 173.
November 30, 2023 — 7:53 pm
Comments: 6
I’m reduced to this
We’ve finally reached the advanced age and modest level of prosperity that we want for nothing. If we desire a thing during the year, we buy it. If something breaks, we replace it right away.
Which is fine and all, except…Christmas. We are both utterly stumped for gifts. We neither of us collect things or have hobbies. We don’t like to travel or eat out and we dress like hobos by choice.
I’m reduced to cruising Ebay for quirk. Quirk is bad, y’all. Uncle B hates whimsy. At this rate, it’ll be an antique French mustache cup and a box of chocolates under the tree.
Wait, I’m’a try a little ginspiration.
November 29, 2023 — 8:45 pm
Comments: 13
Smells really nice, actually
This past Sunday was Stir-Up Sunday, the last one before Advent. So named for the day’s scripture from the Book of Common Prayer: “Stir up, we beseech thee, O Lord, the wills of thy faithful people…”
It is the day British housewives cook their Christmas cakes and puddings. Or, in our case, British badgers do so.
Not being a religious sort of mustelid, though, he waited until today to start his Christmas cake. It smells lovely and spicy, to be honest, but I don’t touch the stuff. I’m not fond of dried fruit and I really, really hate booze in food. Brits make it five weeks before Christmas so there’s plenty of time to feed it dollops of brandy every few days.
You’re not supposed to drive after eating a big wodge of the stuff.
If you’d like to see it big and in color, here you go. I understand he has meticulously documented every step of the process. If you’re into cake porn, I’m sure he’d be more than willing to share the recipe.
November 28, 2023 — 7:42 pm
Comments: 6
You shot the wrong train, Fritz
“On Friday 27th November 1942 a German fighter was brought down by a railway engine when a steam hauled train was attacked near Lydd in Kent. The exploding boiler brought down the Fw190 killing the pilot. Remarkably the crew of the loco survived and the engine was repaired.” From this xweet.
Huh. We drove through Lydd this afternoon. This part of the country got seriously torn up during the war because German planes going home just dumped any munitions they had left on their way back from whatever their mission was. I mean, machine guns down the high street kind of thing.
Changing the subject, I’m kinda bummed. I went to one of my favorite sites for local news and found a message at the top saying they were shutting down in three days.
“However, it is no secret that changes in the media landscape and decisions made by large tech platforms have made life much harder for all media businesses.”
I wonder what, specifically, that means?
November 27, 2023 — 7:55 pm
Comments: 5
Dead Pool 172: I think that’s the right number
BullDawgGuy wins with Rosalynn Carter. I went looking for some Rosalynn Carter fun facts, but there aren’t any. She was a nice, hard-working Southern lady who was married to a president and lived a long time. The end.
Tonight’s the first night of the year it’s dropping to freezing. I’m going to go crawl under something warm and wait for Spring. I’m thinking…a cow, maybe?
Are we ready?
0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.
1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).
2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.
3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.
5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.
6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.
7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.
8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.
The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out
November 24, 2023 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 42
Happy T’day!
For reasons I can’t articulate, the traditional presidential pardon of the turkey pisses me off. I don’t know. I’d totally support the first guy who said, “screw it – let’s eat this bird!”
I did some digging around but, believe it or not, it isn’t clear when the tradition started. Maybe with Lincoln (but probably not). You’d think something to do with the office of the president would be better documented.
Uncle B pointed out to me some years ago that Americans have two turkey holidays a month apart, which doesn’t make a lot of sense. So we just have a “nice meal” on Thanksgiving. Tonight, it’s steak and a baked potato with – I hope – homemade dinner rolls. It’s so cold in the kitchen, I don’t know if I can get them to proof properly.
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all – and turn up tomorrow for the Dead Pool. Maybe I’ll even get the number right this time.
November 23, 2023 — 6:10 pm
Comments: 7
Whatever it was
Whenever I mention of St Leonard’s (the painting in yesterday’s post was sold out of a charity shop there), I think of this guy: the St Leonard’s Dragon.
Someone published a pamphlet in England in 1614 describing a nine-foot-long four-legged serpent with lumps on its back that left a stinky slime trail and could spit poison in a 64-foot stream. It lived in the forest and killed two people and two dogs.
God knows what it was – no other accounts appear anywhere and it’s never mentioned again – but I love this woodcut from the pamphlet. The mild look on the faces of the two corpses, and did you notice the dog’s shadow is pasted on backwards? The Seventeenth C was a funny time for art.
When I reread the article, though, it said this was near Horsham. St Leonards is nowhere near Horsham.
Sure enough, St Leonard’s Forest is a totally different place. According the article, it always had a reputation as a bad spot for serpents, ending with the 1614 account. The Anglo Saxon Chronicle, 770AD, says “Monstrous serpents were seen in the country of the Southern Angles that is called Sussex” and St Leonard was a dragon slayer.
It’s still a forest. Huh.
November 22, 2023 — 7:06 pm
Comments: 5
Cursed. CURSED!
This painting was recently sold for £20 at a junk shop near me. Then it was brought back. Then it was sold again. Then brought back. Then sold for £25.
Having acquired a reputation as accursed, it sold on Ebay to an attraction in London for £1,600. Yes, it’s a Hallowe’en story – I missed it at the time.
The article describes all the ill luck that supposedly has followed it, including to people at its final home.
Personally, I think it’s simply unnerving because her left eye is about twice the size of her right eye. It’s otherwise reasonably well painted, which somehow makes it worse.
People will only accept so much facial asymmetry.
RFK jr’s face gives me the willies. It’s like his left eye is trying to slide off his face, just like this guy (name that film!).
November 21, 2023 — 8:06 pm
Comments: 4
Wherein I tell on myself
Though I work for a historical society (no, I will not say ‘an’ historical society), my job is fairly physical. I have to set up tables and stack chairs and do a lot of minor janitorial work. I manage just fine. In fact, it’s a kick to have a job where I am prized for my youth and strength.
But we’ve just had a sad, rainy weekend where I sat in this comfy chair for two days hardly moving, and I’ve put my back out.
There’s a lesson in that, and I have resolutely refused to learn it for years.
The image is courtesy of deepai.org – the prompt was “a ferret lying on a sofa” in a Renaissance style. It’s not great, but my first try was “a weasel reclining on a sofa” in a fuzzy animal style, and the result was a pile of fur with two eyes set vertically at one end and a sort of nose on the other. Nightmare fuel.
Well, that was a short Dead Pool. Poor old Rosalynn Carter, cut down in her prime.
November 20, 2023 — 8:20 pm
Comments: 5
Dead Pool XXX: we can figure it out together
Rich Rostrom won the Dick with Frank Borman. That’s the easy bit. Then it gets complicated.
Rich, who tries to keep me honest, has been telling me for ages I have an ongoing screwup with the numbers, having the following sequence of Dead Pools:
157 8/26/22
158 9/16/22
159 10/14/22
160 11/4/22
161 12/30/22
162 1/6/23
163 2/10/23
164 3/10/23
165 4/28/23
166 6/16/23
157 7/7/23
158 9/1/23
159 9/8/23
and, of course, 160 – which he has just won. He told me all this before 160; I have no excuse. So this one is…171? I believe this issue is causing him actual, physical pain. My apologies.
Additionally, I have upset Steve’s kid, who picked gunman Robert Card. I blew it off because – as a lifelong, enthusiastic reader of true crime – I’m highly skeptical of time-of-death estimates. I did not realize he was invested in the pick enough to argue his case. It’s still no, but I apologize for blowing it off so casually.
Stand by for FUN:
0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.
1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).
2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.
3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.
5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.
6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.
7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.
8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.
The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.
November 17, 2023 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 51