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Let me tell you how my day started

I was biking ahead of yet another storm this morning. Bearing in mind how wet I got the other day, I wore my full banana suit. I was tearing down the path when my bike suddenly shuddered to a halt.

Upon examination, a doggy poop bag had been picked up by the chain and wrapped securely around the gear shifting mechanism at the back. I mean, that sucker was cinched up tight.

For once, I wasn’t carrying my trusty Leatherman. Not even a pocket knife. What did I have?

My fingers, dear reader. My fingers.

I won’t overdramatize what happened next. I was able to pick away the neck of the bag in little bits and then advance the chain to free it. I don’t even know if there was poop in the bag.

It wasn’t like squeezing a pastry bag full of flaming dogshit, which is I’m sure the image that went through everyone’s mind. In fact, I even made it in ahead of the rain. But still – screw you, Thursday morning!

Dead Pool tomorrow! Comest thou here and choose!

November 16, 2023 — 7:47 pm
Comments: 6