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Proof that I live in a civilized country


I came down with a cold this weekend. Bleh.

So I went the pharmacy today and asked — half-joking, although you used to could — if you could still get codeine linctus without a prescription. Bear in mind, you cannot buy more than 16 aspirins in this country without a pharmacist on the premises (I am not making that up; when the pharmacist goes to lunch, you can’t buy jack shit).

Well, yes, actually. You can buy this stuff. Every dose contains a healthy 14mg of codeine, and you’re allowed three doses a day plus an extra one before bed “for a good night’s sleep.”

I took one before my nap this afternoon and dreamed I was chased by a zombie. She was a fast zombie, but only in the auditorium. To stop her, I had to fill my mouth with blue bath salts (don’t swallow!), skip around the auditorium and blow it into her face, while my friends laughed and clapped.

I’m going to think long and hard before I take a bedtime dose.

Also, it tastes like horse ointment. Vile. Must be the chloroform(!).

Truth is, I don’t really have the cough yet. I just really, really like opiates.

October 19, 2015 — 6:52 pm
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