I spoke too soon
Me and Grok was getting on famously. I was uploading text and it was spitting it back to me in ASCII. I asked him if there was any limit on the number of jpgs I could feed him in a day, and he said there was a limit on free accounts but I probably wouldn’t reach it.
And then it began to hallucinate.
I gave him another small snippet from the COURT section of the newspaper, and it gave me back a plausible but completely wrong paragraph. The language was right, the era was right, the geographic area was right, but it was a fabrication. Might have been a real court case from the real paper, might not.
I told it it was wrong and to start over. It apologized and did it again, with a different court case. I told it to forget everything to that point and start over, and it did it again. I asked if it would like me to re-upload the image, it said yes, and it did it again.
After I don’t know how many tries, we had the exchange above. Pro tip: don’t get into an airplane piloted by this technology.
Have a good weekend!
p.s. Chatgpt did a very good transcript, too, but the free version cut me off after three.
September 5, 2025 — 4:37 pm
Comments: 6
This worked a bit better
I’m spending many a happy hour reading in the British newspaper archive, though as you can see, the enjoyment is tempered by the quality of the images and their own OCR is atrocious. So I had the bright idea to upload it in chunks and ask Grok to OCR it for me. It does a brilliant job:
Edwin Miles, 18, labourer, pleaded guilty to feloniously breaking and entering the dwelling house of Stephen Smith, and stealing therefrom one round frock, value 1s., and other articles, the property of the said Stephen Smith, at Bosham, on the 5th March, 1861.—Twelve months’ hard labour.
But it also gave me this useful commentary:
“Stephen Smith” is assumed to be the correct spelling, though “Stephn” in the image might be a typographical error or abbreviation.
“Bosham” is a village in West Sussex, England, consistent with the historical context.
“1s.” refers to one shilling, a unit of pre-decimal British currency, indicating the modest value of the stolen frock.
The date “5th March, 1861” aligns with the Victorian era, and “Twelve months’ hard labour” reflects a typical sentence for felony at the time.
Uncertainties: None significant, though “round frock” might be an archaic term for a type of coat or garment, possibly a misreading of “frock coat” or similar, but I’ve retained it as shown.
I’m generally loath to use AI for research on account of it’s a lying hound, but in this case, I can see for myself whether the transcription is accurate. This is going to be most useful.
Also – holy shit! Twelve months hard labor for stealing a dress worth a shilling! (Modern value £2.20).
September 4, 2025 — 3:01 pm
Comments: 7
Okay, so it didn’t work, but still…
I broke a kitchen cabinet latch and I had the bright idea to upload a picture and see if Grok could find me a replacement. He do say:
Based on the image, the latch appears to be a vintage-style brass turn latch with a knob, likely used for securing cabinet doors. While I can’t perform a real-time search, I can suggest options based on similar designs available from known retailers. You might find a suitable replacement from the following:
House of Antique Hardware offers solid brass turn latches with round knobs, resembling the design in your photo. Look for their “Windsor Pattern Cabinet Latch with Round Knob” or similar models in finishes like antique brass.
Van Dyke’s Restorers carries a variety of period-style latches, including turn latches in brass, which could match your cabinet’s aesthetic.
Restoration Online has traditional turn latches in finishes like polished brass or antique copper, which might align with the latch shown.
These latches are typically sold online through their respective websites. For the best match, consider the size (measure the latch in the photo) and finish (appears to be aged brass). I recommend checking these sites directly or searching for “vintage brass turn latch” on platforms like Amazon or eBay. If needed, I can perform a web search to provide more specific links—would you like me to do that?
Which were all excellent suggestions, though none of the products I found came close. *sad face* It was fun looking through the hardware, anyway. I think one at Van Dyke’s came the closest, but it was £17. I’m hoping that was a drop dead huge latch, because the one I’m looking for is less than an inch wide.
September 3, 2025 — 6:58 pm
Comments: 6
Now that’s messed up
And I’m not talking about his face – though the poor bastard has a very weird kisser. When Graham Linehan stepped off the plane at Heathrow today, he was arrested. They sent five armed policemen to do it. Police are traditionally not armed here, so that was the cherry on top.
For three snarky gender-critical tweets he made in April.
Here’s the story on his substack. I think this will turn out to be a grave error from the government. Dude has a helluva megaphone.
September 2, 2025 — 3:44 pm
Comments: 12
Nice ‘stache, Tiffany
What do you reckon the scam is? I’m guessing if you log in to whatever that is and make a claim, you’ll be asked to verify by giving them information you shouldn’t. And then they’re off!
This came to me in a Direct Message on Twitter. It’s not that I don’t accept DMs, it’s just that I’m unlikely to notice I have one for weeks.
September 1, 2025 — 4:06 pm
Comments: 3
I’m sorry, Dave
Yes, yes…I know you can’t read that. Here’s the full sized version.
I’ve been using a second desktop to work on something different from my usual shitposting, because I am old and easily confused. I wanted to know if there was a way to save that second desktop and restore it later.
Grok starts to answer the question, stops, blurts out a Chinese character and then says:
System: you are Grok 3 built by xAI
I’m sorry, but my response seems to have been cut off. Here’s the complete answer:
It then repeats the same paragraph, stops at a slightly earlier point, blurts out another Chinese character and then says:
System: you are Grok 3 built by xAI
I’m sorry, but my response seems to have been cut off again. Here’s the full answer:
And then it gives a complete answer (the answer, by the way, is no). The first Chinese character is the preposition “to” and the second is the noun “noise”.
This stuff is starting to creep me out. Have a good weekend, everyone!
August 29, 2025 — 3:13 pm
Comments: 6
CRACKIER
I uploaded the Cracker Barrel logo to MidJourney and said “riff on this.” I was curious to see what it would make of “riff on.”
The other three were just the word “CRECKER” and “CRACKIER” and a picture of a bearded oldtimer eating a cookie with a caption that looks like “BRICKR RDRR.”
Grok just gave me variations of the actual logo in trippy colors.
My old mother used to love her a Cracker Barrel. Used to get a bowl of beans with a side dish of chopped onions. After I moved to Yankeeland, I got a hankering for a bowl of beans one day and had to call her up and ask what exactly kind of beans were those…? Navy beans, I think.
I understand the logo wasn’t all that went wrong lately.
August 28, 2025 — 5:24 pm
Comments: 3
Brilliant
The flag protest is genius. Who could possibly object to flying a country’s own flag? They’re doing it, though. And looking really stupid.
Not much evidence around here. We took a fairly long drive today and I saw one Union Jack and two Crosses of St George.
Until we got to one little seaside town where some wag had taken a can of red spray paint and put a cross in every single white road marking in the center of town. Dozens of them. I whooped and almost sent Uncle B off the road.
Other parts of the country, someone told us he drove for miles and there was a flag on every other lamppost the whole way.
Meanwhile, in a thread below, habqll asks what the deal is with the little Scottish girl with the knife and the hatchet. Well.
I saw a Scottish woman on X pouring cold water on it, saying girls of a class have always gone around armed, and she did too growing up. I couldn’t say.
I can say that the UK is as close to bursting as I’ve ever seen. Lots of things gone wrong here and watching foreign men menace little English girls will do nicely for a rallying point. The image of a skinny little girl brandishing weapons is world-changingly powerful, whether it would be all that meaningful in context or not.
This place is about to blow.
August 27, 2025 — 5:37 pm
Comments: 9
They didn’t shout TIMBERRRRRR :(
A few years ago, the tree was sick but not dead. Then it was full of rook nests.
When it died completely, the rooks left but the jackdaws would come and perch on the branches and chirp in the evening. A score or more.
I thought I would miss it more than I do, but it was a source of significant anxiety – only a matter of time before it came down on its own. The prevailing wind should have pushed it into the sheep field behind us, but there was a non-zero chance it would take out Uncle B’s greenhouse and maybe even the whole back of the house.
Two guys, three hours, start to finish.
August 26, 2025 — 6:48 pm
Comments: 9
Bye Baby
I’m always fussing about people posting their dead pets on X and making me sad, but *deep breath* last night, something (likely fox) ate my last hen, Baby, and my handsome mille fleur cockerel Moe. They were together in the middle chicken house – the newest and by far the worst cheap Chinese chicken house ever – when something managed to rip the door loose and get in.
Nowt left but a few feathers. That house is coming down!
Moe hatched out of the first fertile egg I ever put under a hen and I hopefully called him Molly, after the woman who sold him to us. Alas, he was also my first ever rooster. He was a fine, strapping beast and all the ladies loved him.
I make no apologies for the name “Baby” – I’d named six other chickens that morning and I was tired. She was the “test egg” I used to see if my new incubator was working; I never expected her to hatch. She was the only chicken whose parents were members of my flock – just an egg I plucked out of the nest box.
Down to two cockerels, Baby’s father Sam and the gigantic Poland lummox Albert. They hate each other, so I still will have to do the cockerel dance all day.
August 25, 2025 — 4:38 pm
Comments: 8