Dead Pool 195: the Ayatollah is with Allah
The Ayatollah is gone, gone, gone. I think we can all agree it’s a good thing, whatever happenss next. Bob Mulroy is the winner.
0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.
1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).
2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.
3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.
5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.
6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.
7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.
8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.
The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.
Note: I am woefully behind on dick deliveries. If I owe you one, you’ll know how long. I ain’t gived up, but I haven’t drawn much since lockdown. Some day, your heirs might hear from my heirs.
March 6, 2026 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 45
I’ve been there!
This picture came across my feed today. It’s the abandoned yellow brick road from a Seventies theme park in North Carolina.
My grandma took me there one year. She knew I liked the Wizard of Oz and was always at a loss what to do with me on summer visits.
Only, by that time I was a teenager and it wasn’t really appropriate. I remember it as being sad and a little creepy, even then.
Yes, my vodka came. Did Lavender Girl win the Dead Pool or what? I’m too lazy to work it out for myself.
March 5, 2026 — 7:10 pm
Comments: 5
Because Ricky Gervais needs my money, I guess
He’s bought a poncey vodka company. Then he made a whole series of fake ads like this one and claimed they’d been rejected by Transport for London. In truth, he’d never submitted them, but some people swore they’d seen them on the tube (and were awfully offended).
The usual pearl clutchers have clutched pearls because he’s the vodka that cried wolf.
Whatever. They were funny. But that’s old news, the new news is – my shipment of Dutch Barn is late. Should have been here an hour ago.
I bought some for Christmas and liked it, so I’ve just ordered a couple more bottles. It’s grossly overpriced, but once you get on their aggressive mailing list, you get deals.
March 4, 2026 — 6:28 pm
Comments: 3
That’s chutzpah
Guy goes for his driving test. Gets pulled over in the middle of it for a busted tail light. Reeks of marijuana smoke. Arrested on the spot. Mom very surprised to see a cop get out of the car back at the testing center.
What was the driving instructor thinking? Or his mom, for that matter?
Me, I’m laying low. I tried to use Uncle B’s new printer while he was napping and I borked it. It asked me for an IP address and I gave it a plausible answer. Sadly, not the right answer.
I think he has it fixed now, but I’m not allowed to print anything by myself.
March 3, 2026 — 7:13 pm
Comments: 4
Seems like a contradiction in terms
Water cremation. Just legalized in Scotland.
That’s what they call it, anyhoo. What they actually do is boil your corpse in potassium hydroxide and water for ninety minutes, leaving behind a nice, clean skeleton. Which they smash to powder and give to your family.
I guess the you slurry goes down the drain.
All of this is because – you guessed it – it’s greener than regular cremation. Cremation seems all very hands-off and clinical. I’m okay with it. This sounds like something I’d hate to imagine happening to someone I love.
March 2, 2026 — 7:33 pm
Comments: 8