Ohhhh…weasel no likee
The law used to be that you had to register flocks of fifty birds or more. Now if you own a single chicken and it’s a pet, you have to register.
You can imagine my first thought, but this is a criminal charge. There’s no talk of jail time, but a £5,000 fine and a criminal record.
You have to ask yourself, do any of my neighbors hate me enough to turn me in? Well, there’s this one guy…
The excuse is bird flu control – and if there’s an outbreak in the area, they’ll definitely come out and kill my birds – but it’s more broadly seen as the first steps of an attack on self-sufficiency. There have been articles lately on the surprisingly high carbon footprint of growing your own food and the dangers of wood fires.
p.s. well, that tears it. The first step to registration, they send you an email with a verification code. The email never came. No, it’s not in spam.
Posted: September 30th, 2024 under personal.
Comments: 7
Comments
Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 30, 2024, 9:33 pm
“Bird flu” is enemy action, and a prosthetic foot in the door. And I believe you’re spot on, @Stoaty, TPTB are waging war on self-sufficiency. They’re pushing very hard to make us all dependent upon and thus subservient to govt as the provider of all necessities. And THEY get to decide just exactly what’s necessary and (more importantly) what’s not for us ordinary peons.
Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 30, 2024, 10:03 pm
I followed links to “How to register” and assuming no CPH number, “You can register online, it should take about 10 minutes. We’ll ask you for:”
your contact details:
— Third lane on the left after you pass where Phil used to live. Come at 10:30 p.m. Flash headlights once, pause, flash once again, pause, then shalt thou flash three times, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt flash, and the number of the flashing shall be three. Four shalt thou not flash, neither flash thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then flashest thou seventeen times, no more, no less. Seventeen shall be the number thou shalt flash. Then shout, “Hey, Rube!”
details of the owner of the birds (if this is not you):
— Owner is G. Fawkes.
the location where you keep the birds:
— The bloody birds are in the bloody garden, you stupid twat.
details of the birds you keep:
— species: Gallus gallus.
— number: It depends on the number of recent rituals and dinner parties.
— what you keep them for: Satanic rituals, Santería, coq au vin, companionship.
Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: September 30, 2024, 11:14 pm
Why did your chickens cross the road?
To evade the chicken detector van.
Might have to go further than across the road, they can pinpoint a cluck at up to fifty meters.
Get a dog license cross out the word dog and write the word chicken in in crayon.
Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: September 30, 2024, 11:41 pm
When they came for the Chickens, I said nothing, because I wasn’t Chicken.
When they came for the Sheep, I said nothing because I didn’t feel sheepish.
When the came for the Cows, I was determined not to be cowed by the government.
When they came for me….
Comment from p2
Time: October 1, 2024, 12:50 am
Whaddya expect? You got no email because it’s the Ministry of Housinge, after all.
Comment from Deborah HH
Time: October 1, 2024, 2:21 am
What are the Authorities going to do about all those homeless birds at the beach?
Comment from DurnedYankee
Time: October 1, 2024, 12:30 pm
@Deborah HH –
Well, here’s a suggestion
https://avianbliss.com/can-you-eat-seagulls/
oh…you said authorities.
Obviously they’ll kill them all for our safety.
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