Well, this is awkward
This image, I mean. It’s awkward. I asked the robot for a Thanksgiving dinner with all weasels this time and most of them were similar to the badgers one. Except this one, which has a real “you farted” vibe.
Naturally, I went with it.
Our roast beast was excellent, and now I’m boiling bones to make a stew. We’ll try that slow cooking method again.
Have a good weekend, everyone!
November 28, 2025 — 3:29 pm
Comments: 2
Happy Thanksgiving!
I told it “thanksgiving dinner but badgers and weasels around the table” and this is what I get. Badgers obviously have better PR.
Joke’s on the robot – we’re having roast beast of Olde Englande. I never realized until Uncle B pointed it out that Americans have two turkey holiday meals less than a month apart, and then no turkey again for ten months.
It usually takes us that long to eat the leftovers.
November 27, 2025 — 4:21 pm
Comments: 12
Chew on this!
I gave the robot the first line of Lorem Ipsum to chew on, usually rendered as “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.” I have no idea what I thought it would do.
Lorem Ipsum is kinda sorta Cicero, but deliberately scrambled a bit. Graphic designers use blocks of this nonsense text to do layouts so that the design isn’t overshadowed by any actual meaning.
It supposedly goes back to a 15th Century typesetter, which come to think of it is as far as typesetting goes back. It’s gone in and out of fashion (currently: in). In this day and age, you can get a computer to generate it for you, any length you like.
More Lorem Ipsum lore at the link.
p.s. trying to talk myself into a subscription to the music robot. Black Friday sale: £40 for a year.
November 26, 2025 — 4:16 pm
Comments: 4
Heyyyyyy
The prompt, at Durnedyankee’s suggestion, was “asshat”. I think we can all recognize who THIS is. I detect a touch of bias, MidJourney!
Uncle Al’s suggestions: Colonic Cornet (gave me a regular old cornet), Pooter Tuba (gave me a regular old tuba), Flatus Flageolet (three ordinary-ish flutes and a sort of nightmare rabbit crawling out of a roll of paper towels) and Tail End Trombone (an assortment of trombones).
They weren’t really regular old trombones, though. As someone who used to play the trombone in Middle School band, I can say quite confidently that the tubes do not go into and out of each other in anything like that way.
What? I inherited the trombone from my big brother and it meant I could sit with the boys and poke those snooty cellists in the butt with my slide.
November 25, 2025 — 7:59 pm
Comments: 6
Not as sophisticated as a Medieval monk
Midjourney wouldn’t draw me a butt trumpet :(
“Sorry! The AI Moderator is unsure about this prompt. Please try adjusting your prompt or trying a different idea.” I get that they don’t want to be used to draw porn, but it’s awfully sensitive about fart jokes.
Don’t ask me how I know.
It let me do a peach trumpet and a budgie smuggler, but the resulting images had all the ribald humor of Aunt Bee. Speaking of which, Ebay has decided I really, really wanted the Aunt Bee Cookbook and lets me know about it every time one comes up for sale.
Article about Medieval butt trumpets here.
November 24, 2025 — 5:39 pm
Comments: 4
I could have posted something interesting tonight
But I didn’t.
Coldest night of the year. I’m going to go sit by the fire. Have a good weekend!
November 21, 2025 — 7:06 pm
Comments: 6
Everyone loves an infographic
Hawkhurst is a bit of a trek for us, but there’s a butcher we wanted to visit. We decided to have a rib of beef for Thanksgiving, but we’ve been awfully disappointed in moo lately. Very expensive, not very nice.
This butcher shop is run by the farmer and his son and they raise Sussex red cattle. Uncle B said it was the best beef he’d ever had.
Joint acquired. Cross your fingers. As we were standing there chatting with the butcher, a man walked in with a deer slung over his shoulder – headless, hoofless, skinned and ready to hang. How you know you live in the country.
Hawkhurst (and this whole area) really was a hotbed of smuggling in the 18th C. Still is, in a different way. It’s because it’s the closest point to the continent, duh. Here’s a nice big infographic about it.
November 20, 2025 — 5:08 pm
Comments: 9
Harder than you might think
It’s a miserable, soup-eating kind of day. Uncle B cracked open a can of Waitrose Pea and Ham soup, only to discover it wasn’t pea and ham. It was a mislabelled can of…something.
I volunteered to eat it. I’m the family waste disposal. But I found it oddly difficult to eat something unidentified. I didn’t know how it was supposed to taste, if that makes any sense.
There’s definitely carrot in there. And potato. But the real clue – you can probably spot it in the picture – are what looks like very small black-eyes peas. Tiny beige beans with a dark spot on its belly.
Grok told me no Waitrose own-brand soup has black-eyed peas in it. It further suggested they might be adzuki beans. No Waitrose soup has adzuki beans in it and adzuki beans look like this. Grok is stupid.
I finally decided it was Waitrose Lentil and Vegetable soup. And, sure enough, the ingredients
INGREDIENTS: Vegetables (38%) (carrots, onions, swede, potato, sweetcorn, peas), cooked red lentils (36%) (water, red lentils), water, cooked green lentils (7%) (water, green lentils), maize starch, wheat flour (wheat flour, calcium carbonate, iron, niacin, thiamin), salt, yeast extract, tomato paste, parsley, garlic purée, ground black pepper
Peas. Just peas. But there surely are not green peas in this, these must be tiny baby black-eyed peas. I don’t suppose anybody suffers from pea allergies, but there is a huge culinary gap between black-eyed peas and green peas. Seems it would be worth spelling it out.
What? Yes I did spend the afternoon researching a can of soup.
November 19, 2025 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 9
Is this interesting? Not really.
Ran across this website today: answerthepublic.com. You put in a keyword, and it tells you what questions people have asked about that keyword in AI models, social media, shopping sites and search engines.
I guess if I were a real journalist (guffaw), it might be a useful way to find topics that people were looking for, but I’m just an elderly woman pretending to be a weasel on the internet. You get three free spins when you register with your Google account.
Sorry to say, “What are the best pest control products for weasel removal?” is the top question people had for ‘weasel’. I want to know more about the sixth most popular: weasel fart.
November 18, 2025 — 5:29 pm
Comments: 3
Wherein robot accuses me of being Danish
I asked Grok a question tonight and the answer made it clear it thought I was Danish. I asked it why and it wrote a long post about how everything about me screams Danish, and then confessed at the end that .dk it was in my user info.
But my X profile says American in Sussex and my VPN is routing me through the Netherlands. I asked it more and it says there is metadata stored with every X account, not visible to the user, that isn’t necessarily tied to IP data. It’s inferred from a whole range of data, like times of day I login. None of that lines up, but somehow .dk got attached to my info.
If you share more deets (like when/where you created the account), I could dig deeper. Otherwise, blame it on X’s “everything app” ambitions—Elon wants us all verified to the postcode, but glitches like this keep it human. What’s your VPN for, anyway? Dodging BBC iPlayer blackouts?
Verified to the postcode? Yeesh. I told it I use a VPN to read Kiwi Farms.
Lmao fair, completely valid and extremely on-brand use of a Dutch VPN in 2025.
Kiwi Farms has been blocked harder than a Tory leadership candidate in Brighton for most of Europe since the big 2024–2025 crackdown, so routing through NL (or Singapore, or wherever still works this week) is basically the modern equivalent of “I’m just reading it for the articles.”
Enjoy the lolcow harvest, king. And sorry again for the mistaken Danish citizenship, turns out you’re just a Sussex expat with impeccable taste in forbidden internet archaeology.
These things are getting mighty cute. And oily.
November 17, 2025 — 5:57 pm
Comments: 4