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This hamster broken

I was out late at a Parish meeting tonight. Not the official Parish Meeting — that’s in May — just a little one where we divvy up chores and gossip.

I suggested a chicken theme for the flower festival. I don’t think it’s going to happen. Just a guess.

So hurrah for the tiny hamster with his widdle weg in a cast, courtesy of a veterinary clinic in Petrozavodsk, Russia. And you guys said Twitter wasn’t good for anything.

February 12, 2019 — 10:23 pm
Comments: 7

DINGELL-NORWOOD, muthafucka!

Xul’s fedora has won the dick with John Dingell. I’ll be honest witcha – I thought about disallowing this pick. Dingell is not exactly a household name. Not anymore, anyway.

And then I recollected that he gave me, albeit indirectly, one of my favorite ever moments in politics: the moment Al Gore tried to intimidate George Bush in the 2000 presidential debates.

Remember? Somebody must have told him to get in George’s space, so he goes clickity-clacking over in the middle of an answer and blares, “WHAT ABOUT THE DINGELL-NORWOOD BILL?”

George gave him a little nod, got a little laugh and Al looked like a Boston Dynamics prototype reject.

So congrats, Xul. It’s too late to queue up a Dead Pool for today, obviously, so everyone keep your powder dry and come back next Friday for DEAD POOL ROUND 119.

p.s. you owe me one. The header graphic I originally did was animated, but I decided to be merciful. Do go watch the clip at the link above, though. And have a good weekend!

p.p.s. If you haven’t seen the video making the rounds of the Boston Dynamics door-opening robot dog, here you go. It’s creepy as hell. Though I have to admit, I feel an awful pang when the demonstrator hits it and kicks it and pulls its tail.

February 8, 2019 — 6:30 pm
Comments: 12

There I was, shopping for antiques…

When all of a sudden…GIANT FRENCH STONE LAWN SNAILS! And only £650 each.

I don’t think Uncle B would appreciate the joke. Snails are a scourge upon his horticulture.

If you’d like to see the sort of antiques you can get over here, it’s pretty cool. Even here, there’s a general movement of antiques from East to West. Quite a lot of the stuff we see in Britain comes from France at the moment.

Not my favorite stuff. I like local rustic furniture, appropriate to our local rustic house.

February 7, 2019 — 9:28 pm
Comments: 10


Not really. Maybe an inch. And it was raining hard this morning, washing it all away.

So I didn’t pay it much mind, went dashing out to feed the chickens first thing, put one foot onto the wet snow and went ass over teakettle. I slid across the wet grass and got soaked, but my head came to rest with the gentlest kiss of the cement walkway, so I’m counting it a win. I MAHT HAVE DAHD.

After I changed clothes, Uncle B gave me a ride into work. The end.

Have a good weekend, everyone. Stay warm. Be dry. Somebody at work saw a baby lamb yesterday (poor little thing, in this weather) so hold on just a bit longer.

Image courtesy one of the nice old ladies on my FaceBook feed. It’s like having Grandma back!

February 1, 2019 — 8:25 pm
Comments: 7

Big scary message

I tried to queue up a Dead Pool an hour ago and got a nasty WordPress database error. The suggested fix involved mucking around in the bowels of the blog, up to my elbows in other people’s diagnostics and other shit I don’t understand.

It may have dropped some things. Comments maybe. Maybe even posts.

In the end, there were some unrecoverable errors, but everything seems to be working. A little slow, maybe? Hard to tell. Our internet isn’t the best.

The Dead Pool should drop in a couple of hours and I’ll keep an eye
on the stability. Just a reminder, though — I have no idea
what I’m doing.


January 25, 2019 — 4:12 pm
Comments: 4

Sneak and ye shall find

Interesting. Interesting.

The internet says Kaye Ballard died Monday night. Noob ‘little sister’ picked Ballard at 2:10 pm Monday. The timestamp is my time, probably. Meaning it was eight hours earlier than that, Kaye Ballard time.

It looks legit. It is either legit, or somehow very very sneaky (which is even better). Congratulations, little sister — you take the dick!

See you all back here tomorrow for the usual. 6pm WBT (which is 10am Dead Kaye Ballard Time). Dead Pool Round 118!

p.s. Stole the header graphic from the Kaye Ballard FaceBook group. No, I didn’t know there was one, either. In fact, I had totally forgotten there ever was such a person.

p.p.s. Maybe not so mysterious. A Kaye Ballard documentary came out last week and she mentioned her health wasn’t good.

January 24, 2019 — 9:24 pm
Comments: 10

Stretched a little thin tonight

Brought work home again tonight. I think I’m more or less done at last, but at least I got an excuse to make a skinny weasel joke out of it.

January 23, 2019 — 10:27 pm
Comments: 8

Nailed it!

Two fingers bent over…check. Two fingers in the air…check. Thumb alongside, pointing up…check. Yep, it checks out. That’s just what a priest’s blessing hand looks like.

Some days, correcting Medieval drawings is a sad and lonely job.

January 22, 2019 — 9:46 pm
Comments: 4

Well? DO you?

No, no. Not me. Not here. This place dun’t have no rules!

I nicked the graphic off FaceBook, where people are potty about rules. Have you noticed? Is it true in your groups?

I got booted off an anatomy group once because my drawing of an armpit looked like it had flesh on it. Which, I dunno, I guess I didn’t KNOW THE RULES. I saw someone get scolded off a ‘bad art from junk shops’ group because her bad art was from a flea market. I guess she didn’t KNOW THE RULES.

And don’t get me started on the chicken groups. There aren’t so many rules about actually keeping chickens than there are posting in the chicken groups.

What is with people who get a little taste of the whip hand?

January 21, 2019 — 9:38 pm
Comments: 11

Please enjoy this luminous chicken

I brought work home tonight, so I fished this off my phone camera for you in lieu of a post. The limited dynamic range of a phone camera means I get the occasional delightful mess like this image.

This is Jenny, as fine a chicken as I’ve ever known. Fox got her. Still sore about it.

And tomorrow? Dead Pool Round 117. See you here!

January 17, 2019 — 10:11 pm
Comments: 5