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Round 35: Dog Days Edition

Pablo takes Round 34 with…a…sports figure of some description. Really, I don’t follow these things.

Hey, a dick is a dick. Fair and square.


0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

What do we want? Aunty’s dick! When do we want it? When it gets here!


Comment from Redd
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:01 pm

Hugo Chavez!

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:04 pm

Hosni Mubarak

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:04 pm

Fidel Castro’s ass is Mine!

Comment from Pablo
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:05 pm

Hey, Johnny Pesky was a legend! I can’t help but wonder if he’s going to be reunited with Ted Williams in the Frozen Head section.

So….Prince Philip isn’t looking well.

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:18 pm

George Soros.

1) He is 80 plus and just married a woman half his age. Strain on the heart.
2) According to SEC reports, he just bought $300 million worth of Facebook stock. Which is tanking. Gotta at least tick him off a bit. Strain on the heart.
3) His wholly owned subsidiary, the Democratic Party, is having trouble distracting the citizenry from the Depression with the phrase, “Look, Squirrel!“; and their public face has become for the moment, Joe Biden. Strain on the heart.

Myocardial Infarction for the Dick.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from Joan of Argghh!
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:20 pm


Comment from Joan of Argghh!
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:21 pm

Can we pick a nation? Iran.

Comment from Eirik
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:27 pm

Robert Mugabe! In hyperinflation years, he’s gotta be close to the age of the universe!

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:29 pm

I think I’ll pick Joe Siden. -Woe to the Republic!

Comment from Hutch
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:31 pm

I think I’ll grab Zsa Zsa Gabor this time.

Comment from Elphaba
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:36 pm

I was going to pick Joe Biden…I think Bob Mulroy was trying to do so first, though. Is he disqualified if he misspelled the name? If so, I have dibs. If not, Nancy Pelosi. Please.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: August 17, 2012, 6:46 pm

Ooh, I get in early.

Speaking of the public face of the Democratic Party – or at least a part with cheeks…

I pick Joe Biden.

(Rats. While I was previewing, Bob Mulroy sniped him.)

All right. Out in far left field – that leading light of the Stalin Society, Arthur Scargill.

BTW – for the last ten pools, every other one has been one week:
24 – 1, 24A – 4, 25 – 1, 26 – 12, 27 – 1, 28 – 5, 31 – 1, 32 – 5, 33 – 1, 34 – 5.

So this should go quick. If I win – my Brit friend is coming to Chicago for the World SF Convention and will handle carry the dick.

Comment from RealMc
Time: August 17, 2012, 7:31 pm

Burt Reynolds looking like the end of the convoy might be nearing……

Comment from ZooomZooom
Time: August 17, 2012, 7:33 pm

the pinhead formerly known as Ocho Cinco…..

Chad “Johnson” as in DICK.

Comment from StPatrick
Time: August 17, 2012, 7:34 pm

Billy Graham

Comment from Mitchell
Time: August 17, 2012, 7:41 pm

Nobody has Jimmy Carter yet, so I’ll grab him.

Comment from thefritz
Time: August 17, 2012, 7:45 pm

Sun Myung Moon…I hear he’s on a respirator…

Comment from unkawill
Time: August 17, 2012, 7:50 pm

Micky Rooney For the Dick!!!!

Comment from Ben
Time: August 17, 2012, 8:09 pm

William Shatner

Hey, I’m in the UK right now too……

Comment from bigsmarthuman
Time: August 17, 2012, 8:18 pm

Pete Seeger. He’s gotta die sometime & I want my dick!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 17, 2012, 8:29 pm

Enjoy the weather, Ben. We haven’t had much of this this Summer.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: August 17, 2012, 8:39 pm

Jerry Lewis FTW. Le Roi Du Comedy, my ass.

Comment from Janna
Time: August 17, 2012, 9:04 pm

Kirk Douglas. He was out with his son for dinner and neither one looked healthy.

Comment from Amiable Dorsai
Time: August 17, 2012, 9:05 pm

Mikhail Kalashnikov.

Comment from Roamingfirehydrant
Time: August 17, 2012, 9:12 pm

Herman Wouk.

(Watch it be Joyce Brothers the one time I don’t pick her.)

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: August 17, 2012, 9:34 pm

My pick is Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus as prophesied by Nostradamus.

Mabus then will soon die, there will come
Of people and beasts a horrible rout:
Then suddenly one will see vengeance,
Hundred, hand, thirst, hunger when the comet will run.

And when the rest of you are suffering from thirst and hunger just imagine me eating Aunty’s Spotted Dick with a satisfied look on my face.

Comment from Potato Bandit
Time: August 17, 2012, 9:37 pm

Chuck Berry

Comment from Dustoffmom
Time: August 17, 2012, 10:24 pm

sticking with Nancy Reagan here.

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: August 17, 2012, 10:26 pm

Kim Jong-un

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: August 17, 2012, 10:28 pm

Miley Cyrus

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: August 17, 2012, 10:35 pm

Clint Eastwood.

Comment from sandman will resist
Time: August 17, 2012, 10:38 pm

Jesse Jackson Sr and Jr.

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: August 17, 2012, 10:54 pm

Helen Thomas

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: August 17, 2012, 11:05 pm

Insaney Janey Fonda, as per my usual wont, half of ol’ Hank’s big error (Petey’s almost as much of a renegade Red-diaper as his Sis, though not nearly as open about it, ordinarily) – dearly enjoyed Henry as an actor and general all-around good guy, coulda done without his chillun, though.

Maybe lil’ Janey’ll step in front of a bus or something, if just being a nasty old “Progressivist” witch doesn’t cause her to kick the bucket realsoonlikerightnow…

Woulda done Larry King, but he’s still proving to be pretty durable, so…

Comment from m
Time: August 17, 2012, 11:13 pm

Harry Belafonte.

Comment from cheshirelion
Time: August 17, 2012, 11:14 pm

Man, someone got my normal Billy Graham, so Pat Robertson

Comment from Vince
Time: August 17, 2012, 11:56 pm

It’s gonna be Aquavelvajad (achmedinajad)… don’t go talking trash bout the jooooos… he’s gonna get sniped

Comment from JeffS
Time: August 18, 2012, 12:09 am

Harry Reid. From choking on his own bile.

Comment from Clifford Skridlow
Time: August 18, 2012, 12:15 am

If I had a hammer
I’d hammer in the morning
I’d hammer Pete Seeger
And get me some dick

Heh Heh Heh. . .

Comment from Joan Of Argghh!
Time: August 18, 2012, 12:34 am

“Saudi daily Al-Watan is reporting that Maher Assad, brother of Syrian dictator Bashir Assad has lost both legs and is fighting for his life after being injured in an opposition bombing of Syrian National Security Headquarters. ”

Well, I didn’t say which Assad. Bashir, to be exact. He’s a marked man.

What do I get for being close? I don’t get dick.

Comment from PatAZ
Time: August 18, 2012, 12:44 am

Robert Allen Zimmerman aka Bob Dylan.

Looks like two selected Pete Seeger. Is he on his way out or what?

Comment from Spad 13
Time: August 18, 2012, 1:38 am

Dan Rather

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 18, 2012, 1:51 am

David Rockefeller again. He’s been on borrowed time for quite a while. Wait! What was I thinking? He’s got so much ill-gotten lucre he doesn’t have to borrow anything.

Comment from Malcolm Kirkpatrick
Time: August 18, 2012, 1:58 am

Ayman Zawahiri, with a Hellfire, in Waziristan.

Comment from sandman will resist
Time: August 18, 2012, 2:00 am

I would like to throw in Al Sharpton, processed hair media whore and all around leftist scumbag of astounding proportions. Just because my pale 1/8 Verified high-cheek bone, part Cherokee Indian and European self has a lot of bile built up over time. I’m feeling mighty vindictive.

Hope Al bites it on a half hot dog hastily wolfed down after being snagged from the hand of a retiree on the Jersey Boardwalk.

Call his exit a show, call it “Boardwalk Asshole”. That should about cover my anti-Lib vitriol for now.

Comment from sandman will resist
Time: August 18, 2012, 2:03 am

By the by, if adulterer and corrupt Ill-inois politician Jesse Jackass, Junior offed himself, it truly wouldn’t bother me in the least. Not a bit.

Good riddance, Senior and Junior. Get gone already.

Comment from Oceania
Time: August 18, 2012, 2:15 am

Anna Ardin!
She’s going to die, it is only a question of who will kill her first


Comment from Oceania
Time: August 18, 2012, 2:16 am

Although rumour has it that the Americans are planning to kill Assange near Harrods.
But does having knowledge of this sniper hit mean I can claim a two-for one Sweasel special?

Comment from p2
Time: August 18, 2012, 2:19 am

sticking with the whole baseball thing here… I’m thinking Whitey Ford.

Comment from JC
Time: August 18, 2012, 2:24 am

Keepin it real with Jaques Barzun

Comment from David Gillies
Time: August 18, 2012, 2:48 am

Still Gordon Brown.

Comment from 16920502
Time: August 18, 2012, 2:54 am

Phyllis Diller. She is 95. Gotta be sometime.
Dick Dock Dick Dock

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: August 18, 2012, 3:05 am

As opposed to Quickened Gordon Brown?

Comment from catnip
Time: August 18, 2012, 3:56 am

Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.

Comment from Davem123
Time: August 18, 2012, 5:21 am

Garry Kasparov. Because Putin wants it that way.

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: August 18, 2012, 6:23 am

Patty Andrews (of the Andrews Sisters)

Comment from naleta
Time: August 18, 2012, 6:51 am

Michael Moore. Again.

I’m going to be at the Worldcon, too, Rich. Can’t really briing you a dick, though. 😉

Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: August 18, 2012, 12:27 pm

Ronnie Biggs. Again.

Comment from zimmermanfan
Time: August 18, 2012, 1:10 pm

Monika Lewinsky’s boyfriend…………

aka Slick Willy
aka I feel your pain
aka duh won’s worst nightmare
aka America’s first black president

of acute inferior wall myocardial infarction associated with complete atrioventricular block and junctional escape rhythm while romping with a bunch of bimbo’s young enough to be his granddaughters.

Comment from platypuss
Time: August 18, 2012, 2:18 pm

Abe Vigoda

Comment from Clifford Skridlow
Time: August 18, 2012, 3:35 pm

Harumpf. bigsmarthuman’s pick beat me fair annd square. Howzabout Roman Polanski, just because it would be nice . . .

Comment from Anonymous
Time: August 18, 2012, 3:45 pm

Justice Ginsberg.

Comment from Chris
Time: August 18, 2012, 5:22 pm

Three picks from Abe Vigoda. Sucks to be me.

Betty White then.

Comment from little,little
Time: August 18, 2012, 5:43 pm

Andy Williams ain’t looking so good in the check-out line.

Comment from BJM
Time: August 18, 2012, 8:00 pm

No one picked HRH Prince Philip? Awright! I’ll take Phil the Greek for $500 Alex.

Comment from Acat
Time: August 18, 2012, 8:21 pm

That anonymous grab of Ruth Bader G above was me.


Comment from Cobrakai99
Time: August 18, 2012, 9:48 pm

Hillary Clinton. The party needs a wellstone moment and it gets rid of Obama’s biggest threat from his own party at the same time.

Comment from Montenegro
Time: August 18, 2012, 10:10 pm

I’ll take Muhammad Ali again.

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: August 18, 2012, 10:18 pm

When I choose the men, I lose. When I choose a woman, I win. So, my choice is Luise Rainer, 1937 and 1938 Oscar winner for Best Actress. 102 years young.

Bring me my dick!

Comment from sandman will resist
Time: August 19, 2012, 12:17 am

complete atrioventricular block and junctional escape rhythm while romping with a bunch of bimbo’s young enough to be his granddaughters.

My, my. An AV Block would be bad, and a person can live long and perspire with a junctional rhythm for decades. An escape junctional can go bad…but a fat boy like Guvner Bubba should have uncontrolled Atrial Fibrillation (regularly irregular, ya see) resulting in a bedside hemorrhage or a big clot in that sweaty ticker of his. That would have him vapor-locking in the act and stiff, literally, by the the time he’s no longer stiff. Think Joe Biden with a purpose and you got it.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: August 19, 2012, 1:09 am

Desmond Tutu

Comment from Oceania
Time: August 19, 2012, 2:59 am

Dead American Spy

Comment from huerfano
Time: August 19, 2012, 3:53 am

Rosalynn Carter.

Comment from Mrs Comton
Time: August 19, 2012, 4:18 am

Margaret Thatcher and I swear to god every freaking time I’m away on vacation someone dies and I’m late for the pool!!!!

Comment from Nieta de Bob
Time: August 19, 2012, 4:55 pm

Hugh Hefner… the randy old bastard’s gotta go sometime right?

Comment from Chieftain
Time: August 20, 2012, 3:00 am

Charles Manson

Comment from francis
Time: August 20, 2012, 6:47 am

Manny Sanguillen wasn’t at the bbq place this weekend, can only be a sign of failing health.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: August 20, 2012, 7:30 am

Unless I missed it, Ed Asner is still available.

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: August 20, 2012, 12:34 pm

Olivia de Havilland.

She didn’t show up AGAIN at the Little Big Horn Associates in Gettysburg! And just because she lives in Paris or some rubbish like that…

Libbie Custer, how could you?!

Comment from Redd
Time: August 20, 2012, 1:49 pm

RIP, Tony Scott. Wish you hadn’t done it.

Comment from Mitchell TAFKAEY
Time: August 20, 2012, 7:10 pm

Phyllis Diller has passed on. As predicted it’s a short one this round as 16920502 picks up the dick.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 20, 2012, 7:20 pm

Well, damn. Another short round.

16920502, pick up the white courtesy phone.

Comment from Mike James
Time: August 20, 2012, 8:07 pm

Phyllis D–aw shit.

16920502, as the guy in the Roman dungeon said, “You lucky, lucky bastard.”

Comment from 16920502
Time: August 20, 2012, 8:43 pm

Feeling slightly guilty by profiting from someone’s passing. But the way I look at it, if Phyllis bet on me and won, she’d be all over the dick. So here’s to you, Phyllis! I hope you’re laughing!

Comment from Montenegro
Time: August 20, 2012, 9:37 pm

Dont feel guilty 0502. I hope I live as long as she did. Congrats!!! See ya’ll Friday.

Comment from Nieta de Bob
Time: August 20, 2012, 9:42 pm

Now I have to think of someone new? oye…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 20, 2012, 9:59 pm

Naw, 16920502, the Dead Pool is a life affirming celebration of…oh, whatever. You won a dick!

Comment from Oh Hell
Time: August 22, 2012, 2:52 am

I keep spacing out the pool….I needs to write myself a NOTE for Friday!!!

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