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Round 58: the days are getting longer

Carl takes the dick with Ariel Sharon. (Brrrr…eight years in a coma. I hope it was a proper deep coma, and not like that ‘just cruising under the surface’ thing I do on Sunday mornings).

Gimme a tickle if you want your dick, Carl. I’m in a dick packaging mood at the moment.

Right! On to the life-affirming mental exercise that is the Dead Pool:

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.


Comment from thefritz
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:01 pm

olivia mary de havilland

Comment from Montenegro
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:02 pm

Muhammad Ali once more!

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:05 pm

Ian Paisley/Baron Bannside.

Comment from Fawn
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:06 pm

Wilko Johnson – Game of Thrones star, guitarist in band Dr. Feelgood.

Comment from Janna
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:10 pm

Kirk Douglas–again

Comment from Hutch
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:17 pm

El Wallach

Comment from stina
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:18 pm

Got here early for once.

Michael Moore FTW!

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:18 pm

‘Kay, due to circumstances mostly beyond my control, I got here more-or-less on time and on target – soo-o-o, to honor that (exceedingly rare) occurrence, I’ll go with My Usual: Insaney Janey Fonda, she of Sittin’ On An Anti-Aircraft Gun In My Country’s Enemy’s Territory fame.

Sorry, SomeVeg, but an arriver-on-time’s gotta do what he’s gotta do.

My advice? See who Steve picks, then bet the Vegas line on that one goin’ down rightquick – better odds than the MegaMillions, for sure…

Comment from dissent555
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:21 pm

For his years of complete insanity
And considering next what ought to be
To strive for the dick
This time for my pick
I’m going with Robert Mugabe.

It’s time, Bob. It’s time.

Comment from Tibby
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:34 pm

Hilary R. Clinton. Inquirer said she’s got a brain tumor…(I’m thinking rather than a brain…)

Comment from gromulin
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:35 pm

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Comment from biztecka
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:42 pm

Ann B. Davis

Comment from Harry
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:53 pm

OK, I’m changing horses, so to speak…Allen Young, “Wilbur” on the Mr. Ed series…the guy is 94, fer cat’s sake, and was just featured in a Human Interest feature in the Lame Stream News, a sure sign that the guy is next to the crypt and about to step on a banana peel…

Comment from Pupster
Time: January 17, 2014, 6:53 pm

Abe Vigoda.

Comment from dustoffmom
Time: January 17, 2014, 7:01 pm

as always….Nancy Reagan.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: January 17, 2014, 7:06 pm

Always in search of someone new, and this fellow is definitely new – for a man who is 108 years old. Zhou Youguang, Chinese linguist, creator of the Pinyin system for transliteration of Chinese to Roman letters. He invented something that hundreds of millions of people use every day – does that count as a celebrity?

Comment from gromulin
Time: January 17, 2014, 7:12 pm

He sounds like a cunning linguist.

Comment from eirik
Time: January 17, 2014, 7:16 pm

Mickey Rooney

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: January 17, 2014, 7:42 pm

Steven Tyler.

Comment from JeffS
Time: January 17, 2014, 7:56 pm

Jimmy Carter.

Comment from Michael
Time: January 17, 2014, 8:04 pm

Rosalyn Carter

Comment from Bikeboy
Time: January 17, 2014, 8:17 pm

Astronaut John Glenn. (I wish the guy no ill – he was my hero on the day he flew! But he’s pushing up on 93.)

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: January 17, 2014, 9:43 pm

I’ll take Billy Graham.

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: January 17, 2014, 9:46 pm

HRH Prince Phillip

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: January 17, 2014, 9:56 pm

Fidel Castro

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: January 17, 2014, 10:07 pm

Lets take the Dr House pick and go with Lady Gaga. Because LUPUS…

Comment from jic
Time: January 17, 2014, 10:13 pm

Clive James.

Comment from LesterIII
Time: January 17, 2014, 10:16 pm

I think I’ll poach Carol Channing.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: January 17, 2014, 10:20 pm

Tibby: Inquirer said she’s got a brain tumor… That was a year ago. Apparently it was a blood clot. Now the ”Globe” is claiming it – but they make stuff up.

Comment from Tibby
Time: January 17, 2014, 10:27 pm

Rich: Huh. I saw it in a check out lane yesterday…doesn’t mean it’s true, but hey, I’m not responsible for my hate thoughts.

Comment from mandel bread
Time: January 17, 2014, 10:36 pm

Jumping on the sitcom death train: Al Molinaro

Comment from tinman
Time: January 17, 2014, 10:52 pm

Mary Tyler Moore

Comment from ben
Time: January 17, 2014, 11:17 pm

William Shatner

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: January 17, 2014, 11:22 pm

Hugh Hefner, c’mon down! Six feet under you Viagra junkie…

Comment from Nanny 1
Time: January 17, 2014, 11:26 pm

Lauren Becall

Comment from vince
Time: January 17, 2014, 11:29 pm

ed asner

Comment from David Gillies
Time: January 17, 2014, 11:31 pm

Gordon Brown, the horrid tosspot that he is.

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: January 17, 2014, 11:33 pm


Comment from m
Time: January 18, 2014, 12:32 am

Harry Belafonte

Comment from PatAZ
Time: January 18, 2014, 1:09 am

Rosalynn Carter. May she and the mister go together.

Comment from BJM
Time: January 18, 2014, 1:14 am

Maybe Sth Africa and the world will get lucky; I’ll stay with Archbishop Tutu

Comment from Armybrat
Time: January 18, 2014, 2:14 am

Now that he’s out of orifice I think Mumbles Menino, former mayor of Beantown, will loose his desire to keep wasting oxygen.

Comment from rimrockR
Time: January 18, 2014, 2:15 am

Mel Brooks – he is pretty old…

Comment from oh Hell
Time: January 18, 2014, 2:16 am

Justin Beiber – slowly and painfully in a pool of his own drool.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: January 18, 2014, 2:16 am

PatAZ, gotta be quicker on the draw. Michael took jimmah’s other half a few posts before you.

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: January 18, 2014, 2:23 am

Tony Bennett

Comment from Mojo
Time: January 18, 2014, 3:07 am

Oh hell – nope, the biebster has lots of humiliation and pain to look forward to before his sweet, sweet release.

Besides, he’s probably incapable of suicide. Oh, the irony…

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: January 18, 2014, 3:26 am

Dawn Wells


Comment from cobrakai99
Time: January 18, 2014, 3:31 am

Former Mayor Nanny Bloomberg. Now that he lost 10 Million lives to control

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: January 18, 2014, 3:34 am

Mojo @ January 18, 2014, 3:07 am:Oh hell – nope, the biebster has lots of humiliation and pain to look forward to before his sweet, sweet release.

Besides, he’s probably incapable of suicide. Oh, the irony…

Ken at Popehat had this to say recently: “when Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Deputies searched Justin Bieber’s house. I praised Bieber for shutting up and declining to talk to the cops, and joked that criminal defense attorneys could shame clients into better practices by asking why they aren’t smarter than Justin Bieber.”

Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: January 18, 2014, 3:42 am

Stephen Hawking. Still.

Comment from xul
Time: January 18, 2014, 4:07 am

Valerie Harper

Comment from Bigsmarthuman
Time: January 18, 2014, 4:29 am

Pete Seeger

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: January 18, 2014, 4:33 am

Fidel… They have to admit that he’s dead sooner or later

Comment from currently
Time: January 18, 2014, 4:34 am

Keith Richards

Comment from P2
Time: January 18, 2014, 4:36 am

Jim nabors… The flipping perfesser waited till I picked ginger, the schmuck……..

Comment from catnip
Time: January 18, 2014, 4:50 am

Sid Caesar

Comment from As If I Cared
Time: January 18, 2014, 7:10 am

Ted Turner, Cap’n Plan A!

Comment from EZnSF
Time: January 18, 2014, 8:08 am

Fog Horn Leg Horn

Comment from unkawill
Time: January 18, 2014, 10:36 am

I’ll take the other extant castaway
Tina Louise.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: January 18, 2014, 6:08 pm

James B. Cunningham, U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan.

I’m picking this guy instead of my usual David Rockefeller Sr. in the hope that Rockefeller has been hanging on just to piss me off and keep me from winning a Dead Pool.

Yes, I know that’s ridiculous!

Comment from Mrs Comton
Time: January 18, 2014, 8:25 pm

Travel day yesterday, so I’m SOL. I’ll go with David Cassidy, he was just arrested for DUI. When he does in a horrible ball of flame I hope he doesn’t take any one with him.

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: January 18, 2014, 9:16 pm

I missed the pool by a full day, and still my latest usual picks [the traitorous “leaders” of the Institutional Republicans who are enabling Obama] are available. Normally, I am not the only one hoping for their demise. However, events have given me a different, more likely, choice.

Michelle Obama, based on the convenience of “Teh Won”. There are reports that the marital ties of the Royal Couple were not that strong, even before our reportedly “ambidexterous” ruler developed a public craving for Danish.

If there is a public filing for divorce, perhaps listing a number of correspondents, including Reggie Love; it would not play well politically. If there is a tragic accident, the pictures of “Teh Won” and the Crown Princesses at the funeral would distract from current events.

And then he could ask the Danish Prime Minister to the White House for a state visit.

Subotai Bahadur [who is NOT a nice person]

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: January 18, 2014, 10:22 pm

Some Vegetable, I picked Fidel Castro earlier than you. All week I’ve been torn between choosing a RINO or perhaps a corrupt democrat like Eric Holder and when the dead pool was posted I panicked and noticed that Fidel was still available.

Comment from Thursby
Time: January 18, 2014, 11:14 pm

Chuck Berry

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: January 19, 2014, 12:19 am

Fidel’s kid brudder and current caudillo…

Comment from JC
Time: January 19, 2014, 12:25 am

Stickin’ with teh King – BB that is.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: January 19, 2014, 12:39 am

Soros, he’s pretty darn old and if anybody could make the world a better place by leaving it…..

Comment from PatAZ
Time: January 19, 2014, 1:15 am

Thanks, Armybrat, for the heads up. I swear I read the comments. Perhaps my comprehension isn’t what it should be. Since Uncle Al is giving up David Rockefeller, Sr., I’m taking him.

Comment from Pablo
Time: January 19, 2014, 1:40 am

Hmmm…I guess I’ll go with Louise Ranier.

Comment from Oceania
Time: January 19, 2014, 1:46 am

Who is that guy in charge of the US gold reserve?

I hear he is going to be turned into a pink mist shortly …

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: January 19, 2014, 1:52 am

@PatAZ – Good luck with Rockefeller! I hope you win.

Comment from smedley
Time: January 19, 2014, 3:06 am

Christopher Lee. Has been doing living dead impressions for years

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: January 19, 2014, 6:47 pm

Ramsey Clark, noted commie busybody.

Comment from Zooom Zooom
Time: January 19, 2014, 9:27 pm

Monica Lewinsky’s boyfriends wife.


Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: January 19, 2014, 11:03 pm

Comment from Zooom Zooom
Time: January 19, 2014, 9:27 pm


I’m effen stealin’ that one…

Comment from thefritz
Time: January 20, 2014, 1:26 am

Yo Zoom Zoom, ‘fraid Tibby snagged Hillary

Comment from Oceania
Time: January 20, 2014, 4:44 am

Sochi is overrun ewith Amerikan homosexuals … truely disgusting.

What is wrong with you Amerikans that you let your country be run by sodomites and paedohiles?

Comment from HTB
Time: January 20, 2014, 5:02 am

Roman Polanski the pedophile sob FTD

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: January 20, 2014, 3:28 pm

Sigh since I have been beaten by Senor Bridges to the contemptible Ms. Fonda(who by the way, could never get anyone to allow her to assume his name in marriage) and Mr. Falken has snatched Fidel AND gently pointed it out to me) I will have to choose someone whom I love, Helen Merrill, one of thest beautifully-voiced singers of the great Jazz era of the early 60’s. If you you are not familiar with her, you should be (Weasel?). helenmerrill.org

Comment from Ripley
Time: January 20, 2014, 5:16 pm

Luise Rainer. Because sooner or later at 104…..

Comment from sandman says bite my shorts
Time: January 20, 2014, 6:45 pm

I will take Calypso Louie Parraquat, Nation of I SLam, Fruits of I SLam, turd at large. Pulling for stroke and then spontaneous human combustion…Turds burn, right?

Comment from Davem123
Time: January 20, 2014, 8:21 pm

I’m three days late and Harry Reid is still available? It must be fate! Something quick and painful will do nicely, although slow and painful has it’s charms.

Comment from Oceania
Time: January 20, 2014, 9:14 pm

The Americans are planning to set off a series of bombs at the Sochi games.
They are so sure that there will be a terror event that they have naval units inside the Black Sea, ready to break into Russian territorial waters to assist ‘evacuating American citizens’.

Comment from steve
Time: January 20, 2014, 9:28 pm

Ripley….I am afraid that Pablo, The Bad Speller of Names, claimed Ranier a bit more than a day before you did…..

Comment from StPatrick_TN
Time: January 21, 2014, 2:52 pm

Fred Phelps, again.

Comment from physics geek
Time: January 21, 2014, 7:15 pm

One of these days, I’m gonna get that dick.

Not sure if that came out right. In any event, I’m sticking with Keir Dullea. He can’t live forever, right? Then again, Keith Richards would seem to put the lie to those words.

Comment from Zooom Zooom
Time: January 21, 2014, 11:05 pm

dang it, since tibby beat me to HiLarryKlintonne I am going to have to grab up the crackhead DC mayor marion barry.

Comment from ocareha8er
Time: January 22, 2014, 2:20 am

Wendy “I’m coming apart at the seams” Davis.

self-inflicted I am guessing.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: January 24, 2014, 2:27 am

Bob Barker

Comment from RushBabe
Time: January 24, 2014, 6:57 pm

Dang. I’m a freakin’ week late and all my faves are taken. I’ll go with John Dingle(berry), Michigan’s oldest-serving communist representative.

Comment from Sporadic Small Arms Fire
Time: January 27, 2014, 4:23 am


RIP Fergie. You have earned a 21 fire salute so many times over I will likely run out of slow-burning double-base propellant.

I am indeed disconsolate.
Except that Fergie liveth.


Comment from acat
Time: January 27, 2014, 3:42 pm

Gonna guess Kirk Kerkorian, Mr. Chrysler, Mr. Leverage ..

Hasn’t made any waves in business (that I’ve seen) recently .. so guessing he may be going dark. Also, he’s 96.


Comment from Mr. Compton
Time: January 28, 2014, 12:09 am

I can’t believe my wife poached my David Cassidy!

Comment from Fraser Warne
Time: January 28, 2014, 4:44 am

My bet is on Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford. If a heart attack doesn’t get him, the meth (or crack or booze or gangsters) surely will.

Comment from tawny
Time: January 28, 2014, 7:55 am

I see Pete Seeger has died, looks like a new pool is coming.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: January 28, 2014, 10:09 am

And Bigsmarthuman takes the Dick….

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