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Round 73: finally!

Has this Dead Pool really been going since January 2, or have I effed my math again? Never mind. Ripley wins dick with BB King (ipley was a typo). Made it to 89 and died peacefully, in his own bed, in his sleep. Not bad for a blues man.

BB King. Not Ripley.

Excuse my haste, but it is coming up on 6WBT and I have just walked in the door. Without further ado — whatever the hell ado is and assuming we’ve had some amount of it already — here we go:

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.


Comment from RushBabe
Time: May 15, 2015, 6:00 pm

Billy Graham.

Comment from Fawn
Time: May 15, 2015, 6:02 pm

Mary Tyler Moore.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: May 15, 2015, 6:02 pm

It’ll be a great loss when he goes, but he is 96.

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: May 15, 2015, 6:02 pm

Geeez, RushBabe, now I is stumped!

Comment from Janna
Time: May 15, 2015, 6:04 pm

Kirk Douglas.

Comment from weaselwannabee
Time: May 15, 2015, 6:08 pm

Jimmy Carter

Comment from BrendaM
Time: May 15, 2015, 6:12 pm

Betty White

Comment from Hutch
Time: May 15, 2015, 6:38 pm

Olivia de Havilland

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: May 15, 2015, 6:40 pm

Fidel Castro

Selected by Some Vegetable the artist formerly misspelled as Ipley

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: May 15, 2015, 6:48 pm

While my preference would be a visit by the SMOD to both wings of the Governing Party [Democrats and DIABLO’s]; I have to pick one. Thus I send vibes out into the universe that US Senator Cory Gardner [DIABLO-Colorado] be the winner. Noting that he, with the massive help of the TEA Party, defeated Senator Mark “Uterus” Udall and managed to turn his coat spinning faster than the Tasmanian Devil. While still in the House pending being sworn in as a Senator, he voted for the Cromnibus Bill funding literally everything Obama wanted till 2016 including Obamacare and Amnesty. As a Senator, he voted for cloture to confirm Loretta Lynch as Attorney General AFTER she testified under oath that the president has the power to rule by decree outside the law. In the Senate mark-up for the Defense Authorization Bill, he just voted in favor of a Democrat amendment mandating that illegal aliens who were given an unconstitutional amnesty by Obama be given preference for enlistment and hiring over US citizens.

Comment from Erin
Time: May 15, 2015, 6:59 pm

Hillary Clinton

Comment from Pablo
Time: May 15, 2015, 7:05 pm

Nancy Reagan.

Comment from JC
Time: May 15, 2015, 7:11 pm

Stickin’ with Paul Earlich or however he spells it. I can’t be wrong EVERY FUCKING TIME, can I?

Comment from Carl
Time: May 15, 2015, 7:18 pm

Clive James

Comment from Mrs Carl
Time: May 15, 2015, 7:19 pm

Denis Healey

Comment from Eirik
Time: May 15, 2015, 7:30 pm

Robert Mugabe

Comment from David Gillies
Time: May 15, 2015, 8:12 pm

Gordon Brown again, because Labour have had a dreadful couple of weeks, the poor dears, and they could do with some good news.

Comment from p2
Time: May 15, 2015, 8:15 pm

yogi berra just turned 90…. ill snag him…

Comment from LesterIII
Time: May 15, 2015, 8:23 pm

Zsa Zsa

Comment from Thursby
Time: May 15, 2015, 8:45 pm

Chuck Berry

Comment from Nana 1
Time: May 15, 2015, 9:01 pm

Valarie Harper

Comment from surly
Time: May 15, 2015, 9:07 pm

I think ado is something one steps on.
“Heavens, I’ve trapesed through ado.”
Yes, I’m certain that’s right.

Maureen O’Hara….I really hope not.

Comment from Montenegro
Time: May 15, 2015, 9:22 pm

Back to Muhammad Ali!!!!

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: May 15, 2015, 9:28 pm

Here I go again with David Rockefeller Sr. although I’m beginning to think his pact with the devil may have included immortality. On June 12, he’ll be 100.

Comment from gromulin
Time: May 15, 2015, 9:37 pm

Antoine “Fats” Domino FTW

Comment from Ben
Time: May 15, 2015, 9:49 pm

William Shatner

Comment from m
Time: May 15, 2015, 10:27 pm

Christopher Lee

Comment from Spad13
Time: May 15, 2015, 11:36 pm

Dan Rather

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: May 16, 2015, 12:09 am

HRH Prince phillip

Comment from RushBabe
Time: May 16, 2015, 12:14 am

AltBBrown — There’s scads of oldsters out there! And you never know who could get hit by a bus. I’d give you a few hints of others I was torn in taking, but that wouldn’t be right.

Meanwhile, gulliblepratt snagged someone who looks like a strong contender. “Phil the Greek,” (though I don’t know why he has that nickname) is looking poorly these days and aging faster than a portrait of Dorian Gray. Good job, gullible!

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: May 16, 2015, 12:17 am

Still thinkin’…

Comment from PatAZ
Time: May 16, 2015, 12:32 am

I see Ed Asner at 85 is getting divorced. If that means there is a young woman in the picture, it could spell doom for him. Besides, he’s a total lib so it’s all good. So I’m picking him, even tho his kind usually lasts forever.

My family met BB King many years ago at the Big Fresno Fair. He was sitting on the edge of the stage, plucking on his guitar. He signed my daughters’ t-shirts and had a pleasant conversation with us.

Comment from dissent555
Time: May 16, 2015, 12:53 am

Irwin Corey. tick tock tick tock

can’t for the life of me think who I had last time.

Comment from FGW
Time: May 16, 2015, 12:55 am

Egypt Pres Abdel el-Sisi. More than a few fatwas issued there.

Comment from Buffalone
Time: May 16, 2015, 2:09 am

Geert Wilders, he is not in Texas anymore.


Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: May 16, 2015, 2:27 am

I had some other ideas, but I’ll go with this one: Doyle “Texas Dolly” Brunson, two-time World Series of Poker champion.

Comment from Lazlo
Time: May 16, 2015, 2:39 am

I vote Burt Reynolds

Comment from unkawill
Time: May 16, 2015, 2:52 am

abe vigota

Comment from catnip
Time: May 16, 2015, 3:09 am

Judge Joe Wapner

Comment from mojo
Time: May 16, 2015, 3:25 am

Harry “The Band-Snapper” Reid

PS: Favorite beers by country: true or false?

Comment from Statler & Waldorf
Time: May 16, 2015, 3:27 am

Heinz Kissmyassinger.

Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: May 16, 2015, 4:46 am

Al Sharpton. That giant bobble-head on a stick body can’t be an indicator of robust good health.

Comment from Davem123
Time: May 16, 2015, 5:24 am

George H.W. Bush, AKA Bush 41.

God bless him for his service, but he’s looking a little rough.

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: May 16, 2015, 11:13 am

Stan Lee

Comment from Stark Dickflüßiᵹ
Time: May 16, 2015, 11:59 am

Bill “William Jefferson Blythe” Clinton, because Hitlary will need some sympathy votes come 2016, yaknow.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: May 16, 2015, 12:07 pm

Bruce Jenner.

Comment from cobrakai99
Time: May 16, 2015, 1:19 pm

Liz “liawatha” Warren. Shot twice during a suicide in a park with the bow 10 feet away. Hillary will know nothing about it until she reads it in the papers. She definitely not reply to the press about it.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: May 16, 2015, 2:20 pm

Hugh “Holy Viagra!” Hefner, of cardiac arrest while directing his latest “playmate” during the intricacies of BJ “how-to”…. and in pajamas, of course.

Comment from Frank G
Time: May 16, 2015, 3:04 pm

Bill Cosby

Comment from Grabthar’s Hammer
Time: May 16, 2015, 3:40 pm

George Kennedy. One of those “that guy!” character actors.

Comment from harry
Time: May 16, 2015, 5:54 pm

Good golly Miss Molly!!! Here it is Saturday Noon and 1) I completely missed the start of the new Dead Pool, and 2) No one has picked my perennial favorite, good-time Glen Campbell!! Holey Moley!! With Grade 6+ Alzheimer’s (there are only seven grades) he can’t have far to go! I don’t wish anything bad for the guy, I do enjoy his music, but after all, a dick is a dick…

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: May 16, 2015, 7:14 pm

I’m going with George Soros. Reportedly, Soros funneled millions of dollars to community organizers who led the violent protests in Ferguson. And, since Barack Obama has hinted that he plans to be a community organizer again after leaving office my guess is that Soros intends to keep him on the payroll for at least a few more years.

Comment from Spunkus
Time: May 16, 2015, 9:39 pm

Nancy Reagan

Comment from Carl
Time: May 16, 2015, 11:17 pm

Rushbabe, Prince Philip is often referred to as “Phil the Greek” because he was born in Greece and is a member of the Greek royal family. At birth he was Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: May 17, 2015, 2:42 am

Carol Channing

Comment from smedley
Time: May 17, 2015, 3:03 am

Kim Jong Un
What do they say
The first generation creates a socialist paradise
The second maintains it with ruthless butchery
The third loses it by starving his people until they turn on him and his elites.
I think there’s a message in that for all of us!

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: May 17, 2015, 4:28 am

Man, when you’re this late to the party – and your perennial fave is still up for grabs – there’s only a couple of possibilities: 1) There are way, waaa-a-y too many peeps in this part of the Universe who really need to “go away”, IYKWIMAITYD; or/and 2) Yer “perennial fave” is a “non-starter” for the win-column…

Ah, well – just to be on the safe side (just as sure as I don’t pick ‘er, she’ll deliberately go an’ jump under a cable car, or some such), I’ll go – once again! – with Insaney Red-Pants-Janey, the Fonda Of Whom No One Is LESS Fonda.

Was a near-go, this time – malignant ol’ Valerie Jarrett, the Chi-Town Chump, was First-Runner-Up, with Moochelle The Looney Lunch-Lady and Das HillaryBeest The Hidden Horror both close behind.

Comment from unkawill
Time: May 16, 2015, 2:52 am

abe vigota

Abe Vigoda? – Seriously?

Somebody wanna check on ‘im, make sure he’s actually still breathin’ and all that?…

(*Personally, I’ve begun to think Insaney Janey’s got a Faustian deal-with-the-Debbil of some kind goin’ on, and she figures to stick around ’till she can out-Botox Nanny Pee-Lousey, but you never know…)

Comment from mojo
Time: May 17, 2015, 4:48 am

Speaking of stiffs:

Top Ten Influences Hip-Hop Has Had on John Kerry

10. Is on record as a staunch opponent of “frontin'” oil corporations, but supports small family-owned businesses which are “just tryin’ to represent”

9. Frequently concludes anti-Bush speeches by dropping microphone and striking “down” pose while exposing his “Senator Thug” belly-tatoo

8. Never once worked for the man; got himself some high-payin’ bitches and has just been pimpin’ and chillin’ with the bling-bling ever since

7. Pro-“jimmies,” but favors controlling “nines”

6. Developed his own martial arts style combining elements of Korean Hapkiddo and pop n’ lock “robot” technique of Boogaloo Shrimp from Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo

5. Has dedicated his public life to helping working American families get the tools and assistance they need for raising their “shorties”

4. Starred in late-eighties “rap-com,” The Fresh Brahmin of Beacon Hill; series featured frequent cameos by senior Senator from Massachusetts, DJ Pantless Ted

3. Wrote and co-sponsored SR 371, nicknamed the “Truth and Quality in Dropping Rhymes Bill;” bill had laudable goal of finally outlawing “suckah MC’s who gots no skills,” but was defeated by a posse of playah-hatin’ Southern Republicans on a voice-vote

2. Known for always “keeping his pimp-hand strong” when negotiating in conference

…and the Number One Influence Hip-Hop Has Had on John Kerry…

1. At his acceptance speech at Democratic National Convention, Kerry plans to give much love to the Creator, all peace to JC, props to his producers No-Bonze and Jellything from Bad Boy Entertainment, and a special “shout-out” to his agent Myron G. Herskovitz

Comment from Oceania
Time: May 17, 2015, 10:52 am

The Jew – John Key – for wanting to change the NZ Flag.


Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: May 17, 2015, 12:17 pm

Ramsey Clark is well past his use by date. Rid the Earth of his shadow forever.

Comment from thefritz
Time: May 17, 2015, 1:14 pm

Kirk Kerkorian…just because he’s old.

Comment from Buffalone
Time: May 17, 2015, 1:26 pm

Somebody wanna check on ‘im, make sure he’s actually still breathin’ and all that?…

There is a website dedicated to that very purpose, Mr. Bridges.


Comment from Cindermutha
Time: May 17, 2015, 11:11 pm

Herman Wouk

Comment from Simon
Time: May 18, 2015, 9:03 am

Ex-Pope Benedict

Comment from Timbo
Time: May 18, 2015, 11:00 am

Some Veggie got Fidel, (and I have to say he looked liked shite warmed over in the photo with the Pope) so I’ll go with brother Raul.

Comment from drew458
Time: May 18, 2015, 12:59 pm

My winning “low hanging fruit” from last time, Bobbi Kristina Brown, is STILL DEAD, but still in a coma even though we are told she is no longer on life support, having shown “not a single bit” of improvement, in the words of her grandmother. I think psychotic mental illness runs deep in those two families.

So I will continue to be faithful to my Triple Dick winning old pick, and pick her again. And maybe one of these days a bit or two of dick will show up in the mail.

Drew458 picks Bobbi Kristina Brown, the Dead Pool’s resident zombie.

Comment from StPatrick_TN
Time: May 18, 2015, 1:25 pm

Mikhail Gorbachev

Comment from JeffS
Time: May 18, 2015, 3:52 pm

Harry Belafonte. A good actor, but a flaming commie.

Comment from tibby
Time: May 18, 2015, 5:09 pm

Dang it, I forgot all about it. But I skimmed and I don’t think Mohammed Ali is taken, so bam! Hes mine.

Comment from tibby
Time: May 18, 2015, 5:15 pm

Krap, he’s taken. Angela Lansbury.

Comment from Bikeboy
Time: May 18, 2015, 5:44 pm

Astronaut John Glenn.

Comment from Sandman grumpeth
Time: May 19, 2015, 3:11 am

Jesse Jackass Jackson, either generation. Hey, take Calypso Louie Parraquat with ya. Thx.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: May 19, 2015, 11:46 pm

Comment from mojo
Time: May 17, 2015, 4:48 am

Speaking of stiffs:

Top Ten Influences Hip-Hop Has Had on John Kerry

That was Hilarious! Where did you get it? I found it in its entirety on motley fool and AoSHQ – from 2004 – with the additional headline:

I’m fascinated by rap and by hip-hop. I think there’s a lot of poetry in it. There’s a lot of anger, a lot of social energy in it. And I think you’d better listen to it pretty carefully, ’cause it’s important.

“I’m still listening because I know that it’s a reflection of the street and a reflection of life, and I understand all that.” — John “The Pandering Princeling” Kerry

And now, …from the special one-time Home Office in Compton, LA…

I wonder if it helped him lose the election to Dubya?

Comment from RushBabe
Time: May 20, 2015, 1:31 am

Carl, many thanks for the 411 on Phil the Greek. I always thought he hailed from the UK since there are always those jokes about that bunch being inbreds…

Comment from BJM
Time: May 20, 2015, 2:48 am

Holy shite! I’ve been busy planting trees and stuff and totes forgot about the interwebs in general and the Dead Pool in particular.

Is picking Mohamed Morsi kosher? (I know, baaad pun).

If not, then I’ll take the old commie in a Tutu, Desmond that is.

Comment from stina
Time: May 20, 2015, 4:45 pm

Yep, completely forgot about the new round of Dead Pool (it’s been almost five months? wow).

At least my perennial pick, Michael Moore (the Moron from Michigan) is still available.

Comment from As If I Cared (Now With Caps!)
Time: May 21, 2015, 7:34 am

Dat Ol’ Debbil is a waitin’ for Noam Chomsky! C’mon down, Noam!

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: May 21, 2015, 12:20 pm

Hoo-boy, am I late to this party…

Bob Newhart, just to be a dick.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: May 22, 2015, 12:16 am

Since Liawatha was already taken, I’m going with my other senator, Ed Markey. He’s been brain dead for years, it would be only proper for the rest of him to do the same

Comment from cheshirelion
Time: May 22, 2015, 4:27 pm

Vera Lynn – the Forces Sweetheart – lover her rendition of “White cliffs of Dover”

Comment from RealMc
Time: May 23, 2015, 12:25 pm

Clint Eastwood….so he lives on.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: May 25, 2015, 2:38 am

RIP Ann Meara, 85, wife of Jerry Stiller and mother of Ben.

Comment from xul
Time: May 30, 2015, 5:39 am

Mel Brooks

Comment from Burd
Time: June 2, 2015, 3:23 pm

Dick Van Dyke

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: June 10, 2015, 4:18 am

Gonna have to go with Jim Nabors.

Didn’t sing “Back Home In Indiana” at the Indy 500 this year.

I’m afraid he may have gotten some bad dick in the can.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: June 11, 2015, 12:22 pm

Looks like m takes the dick. *Grudgingly congrats*

RIP Sir Christopher Lee.

Comment from Pablo
Time: June 11, 2015, 12:23 pm

Looks like m takes the dick. Christopher Lee can actually take a stab at being undead now.

Comment from thefritz
Time: June 11, 2015, 4:14 pm

Just swell..I’ll be on a plane Friday at 6pm WBT. Hey, don’t nobody pick Zsa Zsa till I get to Dublin Saturday morning…

Comment from RushBabe
Time: June 11, 2015, 8:47 pm

You got it, thefritz. I can’t speak for the other Weaselites, though…

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