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I’m not proud of myself

Mo’s special girl is G. I can’t tell which of them leads and which of them follows, but I used to find them together well away from the rest of the flock, like they were making a break for it. That’s before Mo went all ‘alpha cockerel’.

It makes sense as they’re very similar color. Chickens are hella racist.

In the comments of yesterday’s post, Mrs P asks an uncomfortable question:



Yes. God yes. It’s really shaming.

I make an effort to observe the flock together and not pair them off randomly, but it’s awkward as hell. Particularly in the evening when I’m putting a hen in with a cockerel that has been cooped up for hours. They can be…swift and ungentle.

Fortunately, chicken sex is undramatic. They bump bottoms three or four times. The roughness is because the cockerel steadies himself by getting a big beakful of her neck feathers. She doesn’t like this one bit. If the hen is completely unwilling, they’ll go ’round and ’round in circles (and I’m afraid I usually intervene).

And always – every time – the hen shakes herself afterwards, head to toe, like a wet dog. She doesn’t go brrrrr, but it’s implied.


Comment from thefritz
Time: April 16, 2020, 8:21 pm

I guess it would be somethin’ if, after their bumpin’, one of ’em lit up a smoke …

Comment from DurnedYankee
Time: April 17, 2020, 1:00 am

Will chickens have to wear masks after the lockdown ends.

Guess the mask thing will play hob with all the CC tv our masters installed to keep track of us.

I can hardly wait till these rocket scientist level geniuses realize that.

Invest in pitchfork and torch futures.

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: April 17, 2020, 9:50 am

I can tell I’m getting old when a description of chicken sex doesn’t do it for me anymore …


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: April 17, 2020, 12:28 pm

I used to know a Blues-style song about chicken-sex. Sadly, I can’t remember which of the great Bluesmen sang it. It might have been Taj Mahal, or Muddy Waters… maybe even Bo-Diddley. Worse I can only remember bits of it.

In any case-

Smokey bar, low lights, slouch hat, sunglasses, cigarette, and an old guitar:

“I loves my Chicken, baby, Lord how I loves those thighs
I loves my Chicken, baby, Lord how I loves those breasts
I stole one last night, and the night before
Gonna go back and steal ten or nine more

I loves my Chicken, baby…..

Comment from Pupster
Time: April 17, 2020, 12:57 pm

Brock-Chicka-Brock Brock.

Comment from BJM
Time: April 17, 2020, 3:27 pm

@Pupster thread winner!

@Some Veg

I’m thinking Sonny Boy Williamson, or Lead Belly?

Comment from DurnedYankee
Time: April 17, 2020, 4:03 pm

Chicken Sex, not the Chicken Dance of German fame.

Thinking we should probably be glad they didn’t invent the chicken sex dance.

Comment from Anthony Cecce
Time: April 17, 2020, 4:23 pm

It is taking every bit of my willpower not to google “chicken sex”.

Comment from OldFert
Time: April 17, 2020, 6:22 pm

DY — Chicken sex dance could make wedding receptions more interesting.

Comment from DurnedYankee
Time: April 17, 2020, 6:47 pm

The 25 year old that tears around in my head has officially just imagined the chicken sex dance done at an OktoberFest with a bunch of beerhall babes.

It’s fun.

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