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But can it pull a plough?

There were several of these tear-assing around the last country show. What they have to do with things rural I do not know, but the plough horse didn’t seem bothered.

I hate to think what it costs to run one of these in a country where gasoline is somewhere north of eight bucks a gallon.

Reminder: new Dead Pool tomorrow. I am still stunned at the brazenness of the Jeffrey Epstein murder.

I say ‘murder’ with confidence, because you can’t break bones in your neck with a jail cell hanging. Dude was manually strangled.

It takes a drop of approximately the height of the hangee to snap the neck. It’s more complicated than that – Albert Pierrepoint, long-serving British executioner, had a complex formula for working out the height of the drop, depending on the height and weight of the subject. Too short a drop, and the convict strangled slowly. Too long a drop, and his head popped off like a Barbie doll. Both very embarrassing for the hangman.

Anyway. You get the point. Somebody went into that cell and killed the man, and I’m sure we’ll never get to the bottom of it. Stand by for a bajillion speculative paperback exposés for, like, the rest of our lives.

But we don’t care about that. We care about Dead Pool Round 124. See you here!

August 15, 2019 — 8:58 pm
Comments: 9

This is my Not Happy face

It is August 14 AND WE HAVE THE CENTRAL HEATING ON. And not for the first time. Seriously, this is ridiculous.

We have had four whole days of weather in the 80s this summer, and the BBC keeps banging on about warmest month since records have been kept. I can’t even imagine how they’ve tortured the numbers to promote that lie.

I’m no meteorologist (and certainly not a climatologist, which I gather is what you call yourself if you’re a meteorologist who believes in global warmening), but it’s cold in here. And getting colder. The little I’ve read about sunspots and natural climate patterns leads me to believe we’re headed for something like a little ice age.

I’m not happy about this. I don’t like being cold and I certainly don’t look forward to being a cold old lady.

You know what, though? I wonder if there are deep state actors who are getting off on this. Not the grassroots true believers, but the shadowy bastards who make up our lords and masters: pushing the idea that the planet is burning up while we’re all shivering in our August cardigans. It’s just their sort of perverse.

Picture is a local beach today. Nicked from social media. You can nick things from social media, right? Don’t people relinquish exclusive rights when they post online?

August 14, 2019 — 8:28 pm
Comments: 9

Poor bird

The (British) National Gallery’s Picture of the Month this month is Joseph Wright of Darby’s “An Experiment on a Bird in the Air Pump.”

I’m indebted to Uncle B for introducing me to this painter — and, in particular, this painting — years ago. Wright lived in the late 18th C and has been called the first painter of the Industrial Revolution.

Do click through and look at the painting in full, in color. He was famous for chiaroscuro and clever light effects, and the character studies are excellent. Whether the scientist sucks alllll the life out of the poor cockatiel is unclear.

And yes — Deborah HH has won another dick with Epstein. Even though it was the most predicted suicide in the history of predicted suicides, I’m still stunned by the brazenness of this one. But, you know — whadre we gonna do about it, eh? New Dead Pool Friday.

August 12, 2019 — 9:06 pm
Comments: 10

Feral no more

Twitter reminds me it’s International Cat Day. Slavish devotee of social media that I am, I have posted a cat.

Come to think of it, it’s nearly the anniversary of the day this little monkey stuck his head around our front door (not quite — I’ve just check the blog. It was July 27).

He’s grown into a lovely beast. A fine hunter and climber of trees. A bit of a wanderer.

Tree story. Most days when I get home, he stands outside and cries until I give up and go out to him. Whereupon he makes a great show of dashing up one particular tree (it’s an easy climber near the house) and back down again. Finally — and he’s very particular about this — he steps off the tree at shoulder height and onto my chest. We might repeat this four times in an afternoon.

I have several times rescued this boy out of a tree. The first time, he was genuinely and dangerously stuck — he was little and a neighborhood bully cat had chased him way up a tree with no side branches. Despite the conventional wisdom, I really don’t think he could have come down again intact without help. (In this case, a guy doing work on my neighbor’s house shinnied up the tree far enough to reach him and handed him down).

This may be fanciful of me, but I think he’s reliving a tree rescue over and over.

Anyway, check out social media. It’s fuller than usual of cat pictures tonight.

August 8, 2019 — 8:46 pm
Comments: 10


Something weird from CCTV footage of the entrance to the Brighton Museum, in the gift shop area I presume. It’s billed as ghostly, but nah. There’s a flash of light (pictured) and then a mug falls off that shelf and shatters (which caught the attention of security staff, which is why they reviewed the footage).

Some kind of static discharge? Hard to imagine that being strong enough to knock something off a shelf.

Did I ever tell you that my grandmother was chased through the house by ball lightning that came down the chimney? True story. Just spitballin’ here.

Hey, I almost went with the story of the girl who fell off famous suicide spot Beachy Head while wandering around in the dark looking for a place to pee.

August 7, 2019 — 8:13 pm
Comments: 8

I did it again

I was trying to buy a broom. I obviously have difficulty visualizing scale.

Not a full-sized broom. I wanted one of those wooden-handled bristle brushes that you sweep pathways and stuff with. But every time I found the one I wanted on Amazon, it was an ‘add on’ item. Which, if you don’t know, means you don’t actually get it until you have put £20 worth of stuff in your basket. And not just any stuff, but stuff sold directly by Amazon. Which they don’t tell you if it is on the product page.

So I usually spend an hour putting stuff into, checking the basket, and taking stuff out again. Amazon is dumb.

This one wasn’t an add-on item. But I should have realized the problem when it was described as a bonsai broom.

August 6, 2019 — 8:26 pm
Comments: 6


Just another word for ‘bodged’.

I bought a pen refill when I bought the micropen because I thought it might be hard to get ahold of one (turns out it’s not). I took an old ratty bamboo paint brush, wrapped a little strip of masking tape around both ends, and jammed that sucker in the hollow end of the bamboo.

Yes, I own a roll of black masking tape. I’m classy like that.

Works a treat. I’ll keep the tiny one for a travel sketchbook or something.

And with that, I go dark for the night. Over the weekend, I heard a pop and a zizz and a quarter of my fancy gaming monitor went dark. To their credit, Iiyama has been awesome about it. They originally scheduled the replacement for today, but I begged off because I had too much on. So tomorrow, they’re delivering me a nice new monitor.

Here’s the catch: I have to take the new monitor out of the box and put the old one in it to send back, no doubt while the driver stands over me and taps his foot. So I’m’a break it all down right now and have it ready to go.

See you tomorrow. You’re going to look 25% brighter, at least along the righthand edge.

August 5, 2019 — 8:18 pm
Comments: 6

Ha ha. Very funny.

I wanted a new ballpoint pen, an especially fine-tipped one, so I went to my purveyor of writing instruments — a penmonger, as it were — and sought the one they described as the thinnest they had.

This is it.

Ahem. That is not what I meant.

Axually, it’s a very nice pen. It’s just…a little hard to get a grip on.

Have a wonderful weekend, y’all!

August 2, 2019 — 8:55 pm
Comments: 11

Aw, no tongues sticking out

School picture day, 3rd Century AD.

Actually, no, it’s a choir. I found it thumbing through a gallery of ancient art (it’s #14) and it made me go ho-ho. Go look at the original and see if it makes you go ho-ho also.

August 1, 2019 — 8:38 pm
Comments: 7

It’s sad, really

From the same show, a small section of a Wall o’ Guns. As you might imagine, these are mostly replicas and functionally destroyed guns.

But not all. There are some tiny loopholes for muzzle-loading firearms and guns of no longer manufactured calibers, and he had a few. No longer manufactured here. Ahem.

This man does the leatherwork and was principally showing off that, and very nice it was, too. But you could tell he loved his pistoles.

And yes, if you’ve read about the MASSIVE KILLER HEAT WAVE, it’s been warm. Today was the hottest, in the mid-nineties hereabouts. That is indeed very hot for here. But now we’re having a violent thunderstorm to blow it all away and it will be back in the low seventies tomorrow.

We may very well lose our internets. Fair warning.

July 25, 2019 — 7:44 pm
Comments: 6