sweasel.com

Oh look, kitty is not pleased and is reaching for the nads.

You crack me up.

Thank you kindly. I didn’t have much time to spend on it today, alas. I had some of that…umm…oh, dear, what’s it called? Ummm…work. Yeah, that’s it.

Dreadful stuff.

Butt-holmonic. Eh heheheh.

I saw this at work – must have been right after you put it up – and had a hard time not laughing out loud.

Oh, go on, Mrs P. You start laughing out loud at work for no apparent reason, you’ll be AMAZED how people start leaving you alone while you’re eating lunch.

Does the album have ‘Flight Of The Bumble-cat’ on it?

I’m pretty sure that would require triple-tonguing, McGoo.

Triple-tonguing a cat’s patoot could actually shatter space-time. LOL.

I laughed hysterically and even slapped the desk while reading Iowahawk’s Archbishop of Canterbury Tale…my favorite lines were “But if Mussleman law says no packing fudge,/Really now, who are we to judge?”

That was one of the greatest things I have Ever Read In My Life, Mrs P. I got Uncle B on the line for that one so fast it gave Skype hot flashes.

I don’t know who Iowahawk is, but he’s one of the best all-purpose style mimics EVER. And I love me some mimics.

I remember him from Free Republic a thousand years ago, I think. Anybody else?

You’re a Freeper? No wonder you take joy in the wholescale slaughter of people and pigs.

I like FR. Not FDR, he was…sketchy.

Yeah, when he did Lileks, OMG ROFLCOPTER. Let me see if I can find it: Here it is! Perfect.

Oh, I remember that one, Mrs P! Brilliant!

I did a bad thing with Lileks. As I often do when I discover a new blog I really like, I went back and read his from the beginning. The man can write, no question. But somehow, several years worth of Lileks telescoped together over a few days made me distinctly queasy. I’ll read him now if somebody points to an especially good one, but he’s not a daily read for me any more.

Musli, I was a Freeper way back when. I’ve had three ID’s there: one I abandoned, one got banned (for baiting a Catholic, IIRC) and one is still good. I don’t go there often any more. There are too many sites that function as news aggregators to make that the resource it once was.

That catsohphone is hysterical. It could be that I have a great freaking buzz on, but I think I remember thinking it was funny earlier today too and I was sober then, I swear.

I had quit alcohol the other day to accelerate my weight loss, but today I decided if I didn’t want to kill any children I really, really, really needed a beer. I am not a saint and hubby works six days a week and sometimes that is really hard. I feel like I’m a single mom sometimes.

I think I’m on my 5th Corona. Oh gawd I needed it.

Did I just blather too much? Stupid beer.

Okay, I have a question that has been bugging me for years. See, I was a friend of a guy named Eric Drudis, who was a student at the Northwestern Medill School of Journalism. Towards the end of his time there, it was found that he made up a number of stories while interning at a number of newspapers. He disappeared. Rumor was that the university would grant him his degree if he changed his name, kept out of the limelight, and essentially tried to disappear after graduating. Or something like that. In any case, I can’t find a thing about him now. All I can find online are stories he wrote or stories about him.

He was a nice guy. I really liked him. Back in my flaming liberal days, he made me realize that not all conservatives were uptight bigots.

Now, he disappeared before I found out why. Like into thin air. Maybe he did leave. But there’s no record of him online at all, at least regarding what he’s doing now or where he went since.

I’d really like to see if I could get in touch with him. If he changed his name, does this mean I can’t? I even tried all sorts of searches on the secure alumni directory. I’m at a loss. Should I just give up?

I FOUND HIM! I FOUND HIM! I FOUND HIM!

Just ruptured my spleen laughing so hard. Gallbladder too, I think.

Forget it. I am NOT buying you a new spleen, let alone a gallbladder.

Madam, that is quite possibly the funniest image I have ever seen.

You win at IntarWebNetTubes!

Ohmigod! I win at IntarWebNetTubes!

I…oh, gosh! You…you don’t know what this means to me.

Of course, this is going to escape into the wild, and people are going to think that dude is about to press lip to the cat’s butt and blow. No-one will apprehend the subtle music of a puff of air across a cat’s anus.

But there. That’s my cross to bear. Welcome, Randy. Have a pickle. I like people who say nice things to me.

“…people are going to think that dude is about to press lip to the cat’s butt and blow. ”

That would be catasstrophic

Congrats on another accolade, Weaz!

Has anyone mentioned catastrophe yet?

cat ass trophy.

Get it?

I slay myself.

Dude. D00000ooo0ooo000d. Look at the headline!

Jeez, that really pisses me off.

Well, I still slay myself. Just not so much.

Don’t you hate it when that happens?

jwp – did you know your name (jwpaine) has the anagram “pine jaw”?

Weaz, the name “Stoat Weasel” has thousands of anagrams.

See here:

http://wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html

Pine jaw, eh?

Well, anyway, yeah, I hate it when that happens. I mean, I see my chance to become the Oscar Wilde of Weaselvania, and I am shot down by the Grand Stoutess of Weaselvania.

It’s not like clever shit like “cat ass trophy” is easy to come up with, ya know.

BTW (and only slightly off topic): Anybody ever herd buffalo with a shotgun? If so, how would you compare it with using a scoped .22 match rifle?

I have long preferred the shotgun, but that requires I get close (meaning I have to put on pants and stuff), but recently I’ve discovered that the rifle allows me a more casual approach to herding attire.

wan jipe
wane jip
pie naw
new pia

Forgot the j in those last two. Stupid stupid j!

Never herded buffalo. I wanted to be a cat wrangler, but couldn’t pass the smell test. And … well … I’m left-handed.

The issue with the rifle is that a .22 just doesn’t make a big kaboom sound, nor do the rounds (hitting the ground or whizzing overhead or whatever) really scare the bovine-like assholes.

Personally, I’d use a mortar with aerial bursts. That’ll get the big fucks moving.

I’ve considered that, but the price of a box of 16-gage or .22 rounds (or a pallet of box of same) seems modest in comparison.

Besides, using a mortar on buffalo is kind of like taking 8-year-old boys into the woods. You never realize how hard they are to come by until you run out of ’em.

And Steam… What did they make you smell? You saying you couldn’t guess, or find somebody who already knew the answer? The internet is a big place.

I hadn’t considered the availability issue from quite that perspective. You may have a point.

Get one of those engrish sheep dogs and tell it the buffalo are just big American sheep. No, wait. They require someone to whistle and command ’em and stuff. That would get old.

Buffalo tartare?

Naaa. They were smellin’ me! Said I didn’t smell like a cat wrangler. No one told me to skip a week’s bathing before applying.

They did say I’d qualify as a chuck wagon wheel, but I passed on that.

Gee, and “Guess The Smell” sounded like such fun.