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The amoeba was always my favorite

I haven’t had my scopes out since I moved, but I was once a keen amateur microscopist. A pond dipper, mostly. Microscopy and astronomy are two areas of scientific study where a non-professional can make important discoveries (that’s the motto of Microscopy UK, which publishes the excellent free online mag Micscape).

I didn’t make any discoveries, important or otherwise. I made bowls of stinky hay infusions. And microphotography rigs that relied on duct tape, balance and the power of prayer.

I didn’t even really learn anything about protozoa. I spent hours and hours staring down the tube going, “ZOMG! That hairy thing just ate that blobby thing!”

I loved every minute of it.

If you want to see some spectacularly good pictures of hairy things and blobby things, check out the Flickr page of Proyecto Agua — the Water Project. It’s a pond-dipping and photography project of the Laboratory of Natural Sciences of the Institute of La Rioja in Spain.

I particularly recommend the videos (why, yes, there’s an amoeba proteus).

It took me an improbable number of years to find an amoeba, by the way. My dad was all, “amoeba? Pff! That’s the easiest one!”

We have really dumb arguments in my family.

September 8, 2010 — 10:45 pm
Comments: 30

21st Century rag pickers

Huh. I should’ve known. You can go onto eBay and buy a flipping IBM AT if you have a mind to, so I can surely find a motherboard and CPU to match the six-year-old machine that died on me. Or match as near as dammit.

Yeah. I decided now is probably not the time to splash out on a specialist Photoshop rig.

It’s amazing how much old tech is out there for sale — some of it new in the original boxes! Mostly scavenged, though.

It’s a market that eBay has made huge, but there was always a grubby dumpster-diving ethos to personal computing. At least down at my end of the market.

When we were in London, there was a regular computer fair at Crystal Palace, with some very dodgy characters selling very dodgy gear. I loved that.

But I’ll never forget my very first computer fair. Must have been 1985 or so. The smell of several hundreds of geeks in a conference room was indescribable.

And there was a cluster of nuns waiting in line to go in.

I thought, “Nuns! Computing! That is so awesome!”

Anyhow. Excuse me. Somewhere out there, there’s an MSI MS-6788 with my name on it.

September 7, 2010 — 11:26 pm
Comments: 8

Join us, won’t you?

Here you go — courtesy of Uncle B — six minutes of our adventure on the Kent and East Sussex. All the good video editing software was on the desktop machine, so he had to cobble this together using free crap. There was much growlings and swearings.

The videos in the YouTube sidebar aren’t ours, but there’s lots of good locomotive porn in there if you’ve a mind to see more of the K&ESR.

Not into trains? No problem! How about this adorable orphaned baby stoat raised in captivity and then released in the wild?

Yes, putting in all these text links was a huge pain in the ass, but WordPress auto-embeds the video if you don’t.

Three more links.

August 26, 2010 — 9:41 pm
Comments: 23

Awesome train set is *awesome*

awesome train set

What, geeks like trains? Huh. Who knew?

It rained like a bastard all day today and we did exactly Jack and Shit, so have some more trains, Poindexters.

This here is from the Romney Marsh Model Engineering Society, which we visited last year and I somehow never got around to writing about. It is huge. They have six permanent tracks in three gauges.

On the day we visited, they were running about five of these little steam engines and one electric. Plus a bunch of tiny models on the track in the center.

The tracks are huge. Did I mention huge? Here’s a screencap from Google maps. I’m pretty sure those houses at the bottom are semi-detached (what we would call duplexes).

I was going to call it the awesomest train set ever, but this being England, undoubtedly…no.

August 25, 2010 — 9:22 pm
Comments: 20

WOOoooooWOOOO!

We went and rode the puffer-trains today!

There are “heritage railways” all over Britain. This one is the Kent and East Sussex, which runs ten whole miles, from the lovely old town of Tenterden to the lovely old castle of Bodiam.

A long drive to a short train ride — which somehow abuses the very notion of transportation — but this one is a lovely run across open fields. And we had sammiches and tea and sunnenshine and…it was very nice.

Most of the things we do for fun here are almost entirely run by volunteers. From the steam lines to the old country houses, most of the work — including the really back-breaking work — is done by armies of unpaid staff.

I wonder if that’s taken into account when they tally up which countries give most to charity.

August 24, 2010 — 9:39 pm
Comments: 29

Forgiving.

Yeah, that bent pin? Apparently, it’s been that way for eighteen months. Yes, it’s been taking a few tries to boot all the way, but once it got up and running it was perfectly stable. (When I unpacked my desktop machine after the big move, the CPU was just rattling around in the case, so I popped it into the socket. I must have bent the pin then).

Computers are more forgiving than we have any right to expect. I bought myself a new motherboard and CPU for Christmas one year — I believe the chip was a 486-SX and the motherboard would also take a full 486. At any rate, there were more holes in the m’board than pins on the chip and — but of course — I plugged the chip into the wrong holes.

Christmas morning, watched in horror as I flipped the switch and solder hissed and bubbled out of the smoking socket. But I killed it, let it cool and got it plugged in the right way around and it lived a long and happy life. For a 486SX.

This one is finally kaput, though. I got the pin straightened and re-reseated, but I broke the thingie that holds the heat sink in place, so it overheats before it even finishes booting.

Eh. Six years. Time it crossed the rainbow bridge to live with Grandma.

Now comes the tedious business of looking at barebones systems and Googling all the components to figure out what the hell I’m looking at.

Do all motherboards come with on-board graphics now? Is the AGP graphics card socket a dead standard? Are there wifi cards for desktops, or do they assume wired LAN? And this dual/quad core thing — does software need to be written specially to take advantage of that? I mean, is any of my funky old software (particularly Photoshop) going to benefit from it?

God, I hate learning new stuff.

August 18, 2010 — 11:13 pm
Comments: 48

Not my week, really

Eh. Now I’ve picked up a virus on my principal laptop. One of those cutesy deals that drops itself into the system tray and pretends to be a virus checker. I think I’ve managed to scrape it out of my system without too much fuss, but now I’m having to run all the inevitable scans and checks.

If I didn’t have this trusty old Linux box, I’d be gefukt.

Especially on account of my increasingly erratic desktop computer has now ceased booting at all. For months, I could wobble the heat sink and get it going after a few resets — so, building on that logically, I took it apart this morning, cleaned all the bits and put it back together again. Now it’s a paperweight.

What gripes me about that is the money I don’t have, of course, and the fact that I’m going to have to learn stuff. It’s been a long, long time since I spec’ed a machine — godnose what the current state of play is with motherboards and processors and RAM and sech. It’s been a much, much longer time since I actually found hardware interesting.

Oh, well. I checked my records and I built this machine in March of 2004, so it sure as hell doesn’t owe me anything.

August 11, 2010 — 10:23 pm
Comments: 30

Because there’s so gosh darned much demand for the Segway

Michael at IB posted this gem. It’s a more portable take on the Segway idea — and if you think these trim young ladies look ridiculous on it, imagine how your scraggy ass would look.

The doohickey is clever: it’s a wheel made of cylinders. The wheel takes you forward and back, the cylinders side to side, and combinations of the two move you diagonally. “Clever” being an engineering term for “unreliable pain in the ass.”

Incidentally, mobility scooters are street legal here. And man are there a lot of them about. The scooter vendors turn up at local fairs and markets and have shiny showrooms on the high street. I get the impression the NHS gives them out like candy.

And why not? Stop moving around on your own, and there goes your life expectancy. When you pass your contributing to the system years and reach your consuming resources at an alarming clip years, a socialist healthcare system can’t get you off the planet fast enough.

June 18, 2010 — 10:12 pm
Comments: 40

The March of Science

I realize most people don’t come to sweasel.com for the latest breakthroughs in science and technology, but sometimes a generalist blogger is lucky enough to find herself perfectly positioned to break a story the specialists blogs have missed.

Such a lucky find is the self-inflating miniature whoopee cushion.

How is this possible? In my lifetime? you ask. The secret is a light polyester sponge inside the cushion.

To operate, place your thumb over the grommet and squeeze, making the expected poo, poo sound. When the cushion is subsequently released, the sponge expands, pulling air in through the vent hole and refilling the item for immediate use.

Whatever little yellow genius at the Ho Lee Fuk Toy and Novelty Company of Shanghai came up with that one, I owe him a beer.

Have a good weekend, everyone. And remember — adult supervision is required. I don’t know what kind of dimwitted rug monkeys y’all are breeding out there, but I bet one of them could put out an eye with a whoopee cushion.

May 7, 2010 — 9:47 pm
Comments: 36

Shall. We. Play. A. Game?

osborne

I was going to post tonight about how I made my first strawberry jam, but I didn’t make strawberry jam. I made a big smelly bowl of angry black napalm. Mmmm! So, seeing how much fun everybody was having geekin’ out, I dared Uncle B to dig out his old Osborne 1 and see if we could kick it back to life.

Remember the Osborne? It was the first sort-of portable computer. They called it a “luggable.” I saw my first at the very same 1985 computer fair where I bought that copy of Hack. I thought it was the most unbelievably mindblowingly cool thing ever.

All packed up, it was about the size and weight of a typical Singer sewing machine. Lay it on its side, the bottom came off and became the keyboard. There was a tiny green monitor in the middle, like an oscilloscope. There were buttons and knobs (buttons! and knobs!) and 5¼” floppy drives (Uncle B was rich enough to buy the dual-floppy model, but not rich enough for dual-sided drives. The operating system was on one floppy and the program on another). Oh, it was very. So very.

Uncle B had TWO. That’s right, beyotches; that’s how cool he was. He doesn’t know where the other one got to, but we’ve been lugging this one around from place to place. So I made a high-pitched keening noise until he let me plug it in and switch it on (I did so well with the strawberry jam experiment, why not?)

Did it boot? No, of course not. He doesn’t know where the OS floppy is (though you can bet he’s got it somewhere). But it woke up and it by-god TRIED to boot.

Anybody know where we can get a single-sided 5¼” copy of CP/M?

osbornebooted

June 25, 2009 — 7:51 pm
Comments: 19