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Dude is definitely not stupid

Obama was here on Saturday. Walking distance. I could’ve gone, but it would’ve meant…you know…putting on pants and stuff.

It was big. Five thousand inside, five thousand outside. That’s big for Rhode Island.

When he showed up, first thing, he stood outside in the rain and gave the overflow crowd a short version of the speech he gave inside later on. I heard he does this everywhere he goes, when the crowd overflows the venue. Which it’s doing pretty consistently now.

And tonight, I walked to WalMart. Because I needed a walk. And a cheap pair of slippers. Every car in the parking lot had a flyer on the windshield titled Obama and Religion. The things looked amateurish, like they didn’t come from the official campaign, but from the heart. I assume they were pro-Obama. I didn’t read one.

That first thing shows his campaigning smarts. And that second thing shows his constituency has identified itself and is good and fired up.

If I had a clown in this parade, I’d be plenty worried.

sock it to me

March 3, 2008 — 7:53 pm
Comments: 19

Wine makes old ladies scowl and forget to comb their hair

alcoholic anne

This is Anne. She drinks a couple of glasses of wine a day. If she continues recklessly for another twenty five years, experts say she will look like the lady on the right — and they have a super scientifical Photoshop hit-job to prove it. If she stops right now, she has a chance to look like the lady on the left.

anne is so very, very thirsty

Excuse me…WHAT THE FUCK? What’s the difference? What on earth is the matter with Boozy Betty that a smile and a hairbrush wouldn’t fix? If that Photoshoppist couldn’t take all the pseudoscience in the world and make two and a half decades of hooch look scarier than that, he’s fired.

Think I made this up? Nuh uh! Have a look at it in color — (yup, alcohol makes you wear ugly-colored sweaters, too). No offense to old ladies — one of which I desperately aspire to be some day — but how fresh is a dame expected to look at 77, anyway?

Brits drink more than we do. Or, at least, they drink more unashamedly (it’s probably us and religion and that whole Prohibition business and all). Lately, there are definite conspiracies afoot to change that. They’re taking aim at two targets: underage binge drinking (of which “cheap alcohol” is a sub-complaint) and the middle class drinker. Not flat-out lush, mind you. Prosperous, middle-aged professionals who come home at night and split a bottle of wine with the other half in front of the fire in their 16th Century farmhouse.

The Daily Mail is trying as hard as anyone — which is heartbreaking. They’re about the best low-rent down-market right-wing tabloid in Britain (think a slightly trashier New York Post). If they’re joining the League of Po-faced Killjoys, we’re doomed.

I know what you’re thinking: socialized medicine. This is what happens when the state owns your liver. Except newest clinical data suggests a few glasses of red wine a day is good for you — and the good-for-you amount seems to creep up with every study.

Nah, this is down to free-range assholes, wandering the landscape looking for innocent joys to crush. And you wonder why Brits say “cunt” so much.

sock it to me

— 1:07 pm
Comments: 21