Eh, I got nothing interesting, so let’s stick with Doom for the weekend. So, there was a comic. Did you know that? A couple of years after the game, id software released it. God alone knows why.
What do you do for dialogue when your plot consists of some guy running at full tilt through a building shooting stuff? Well, these folks decided to go with Doom Guy’s stream of consciousness.
I’m cookin’ with gas! I’ve gotta handful of vertebrae and a headful of mad! Yeah. That’s your spinal cord, baby! Dig it! Who’s the man? I’m the man! I’m a bad man! How bad? Real bad! I’m 12.0 on the 10.0 scale of badness! Don’t need a gun…guns are for wusses!
Huh? Whuzzat? Whuzzat? I like what I see! An important looking door…
Knock Knock. Who’s there? ME! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME
This is something between Ripley’s hissed version of You Are My Lucky Star while she shoots the alien out the airlock, and that dog who REALLY fucking wants him some Kibbles ‘n’ Bits.
My favorite part is toward the end, when he splashes radioactive goo on himself and gives a speech about protecting the environment. It’s like his meds kick in for thirty seconds. Just go read it.
Have a great weekend. And remember, kids — rip and tear!
January 11, 2013 — 11:48 pm