I have sat the ass right out of my jeans
I bent over to pick up a chicken yesterday (as you do) and felt the backside of my jeans vanish. Not merely rip at the seam, but…well, look at it. Have you ever seen denim run like pantyhose? Extraordinary.
I bought two pairs of jeans from the nice Pakistani man at the local market just before lockdown and I’ve worn one while the other was in the laundry every day since. Pakistani denim, I guess. Huh.
I think I have been sitting too much.
Today, they announced the furlough scheme is extended until September. I don’t know if that means I won’t be allowed to work until then, but I will seriously climb a tree and throw nuts at people if they try to keep me locked up another six months.
March 3, 2021 — 5:51 pm
Comments: 9
This, but unironically
Somebody mentioned “that blog where they translate Chinese tattoos” on some social media thing the other day and I thought, “I remember that place! It was hilarious.” So I went and re-read the whole thing right back to 2004 because what the hell else am I going to do with the long February nights?
Hanzi Smatter. Looks like he hasn’t been active for a couple of years, which is a pity. I’m sure there’s plenty more to translate.
Anyway, don’t bother. This here is the best one in the whole lot (see illustration above, who knew my Photoshop had Chinese fonts?). It means “toilet goblin” and some petite young woman had it permanently branded on her wrist.
That’s it. That’s the tattoo for me!
Just kidding. I don’t have any ink. My body is a holy temple.
To Beelzebub.
March 2, 2021 — 7:14 pm
Comments: 8
Happytalism
Happytalism. I think I just retched up a kidney. I guess that was Version 1.0 of “you will have nothing and you will be happy.”
I have a feeling that “having nothing” thing is just for the proles and the guys with private jets will get to keep them. Just a hunch.
Reminder that in 2008, “the crisis” was the financial crash. I guess they decided that horse wasn’t strong enough to pull this big a cart. Oh, the document is an archive.org backup of a UN document, specifically their New World Order project. It drifted across my feed this morning. The fact that it’s on archive.org link tells me it’s been scrubbed since.
They’re telling us to our faces. They have been for over a decade.
Anyhoo, Sarkozy was sentenced to three years (two suspended) this morning for corruption and influence peddling. For trying to bribe a judge. I thought it was for taking millions from Qaddafi, but maybe that’s what he was bribing the judge over.
I’m not interested enough to look it up. Sarkozy is what passes for a conservative in France.
Happytalism. If this whole miserable year was a put-up job, I’m going all Ahab on those fuckers, I swear. “To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee; For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.”
March 1, 2021 — 6:01 pm
Comments: 10