Thirteen years old
I’m doing a playthrough of Far Cry 3. My new laptop is snazzy, but it runs super hot, so I hoped a really old game wouldn’t flog the processor too hard.
I have a love/hate relationship with the Far Cry games. I always hate, hate, HATE the main story line, but love all the other bits.
Other bits: liberating towers (to see a map of the surroundings), hunting animals for their skins (so you can craft ever bigger containers to carry stuff in), being murdered by animals (I don’t love this, but it’s a defining characteristic of the series) and liberating villages. By “liberating” I mean single-handedly murdering everyone. It’s the best.
My strategy for this is what my strategy always is in computer games: find a perch high up and pick people off with a sniper rifle. I never realized this was deprecated until I was playing a multiplayer shooter and earned myself the nickname “camping bitch.”
Hey, I’m an old woman. You expect me to compete with the reflexes of 15-year-old boys?
How awful is the plot? In this one, you and your friends crash on an island controlled by pirates. You get separated and you learn the Ways of the Numinous Natives. At the end, you’re invited to stay provided you – SPOILER ALERT – murder all your friends, including your girlfriend.
There are six in the main series and thirteen including increments and DLC and, if I recall correctly, all the ones I played the story made me do one stinky thing.
Have a good weekend, everyone, and please don’t murder all your friends!
p.s. One of the best was an offshoot of this one: Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon. It was a piss take of 80s action films – and of other Far Cry games. Only computer game that ever made me put down my mouse and laugh.
October 17, 2025 — 5:55 pm
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