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I have found them!

Grape-Nuts, that is. Not always easy to get here.

My mother’s favorite cereal. She told me they were twice-baked bread. She was wrong.

Sort of wrong, anyway. They’re flour, salt and yeast (and water, presumably) baked to the consistency of Roman cement and put through a grinder. They add vitamins, too, these days.

Did you know you were experiencing a covid-induced Grape-Nuts shortage? At least, I think it’s the States (it’s in USA Today) and I think it’s now (2021/01/27 is in the url). I hate it when they don’t explicitly say location and date.

How did I live in New England all those years and never encounter Grape-Nuts icecream? And it’s not a stupid modern fake Ben-and-Jerry’s flavor, either – it goes back almost as far as Grape-Nuts themselves.

But Grape-Nuts is not my favorite cereal. That would be its textural opposite, Rice Crispies.

I feel better for sharing.

p.s. I guess I’m off of Twitter now. It’s demanding a phone number before I can log in and I can’t be bothered to find out how to fake one. The shakes aren’t too bad yet.


Comment from April
Time: February 3, 2021, 8:41 pm

But you live in the land of
Weetabix. I bet Grapenuts doesn’t have a royal warrant

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: February 3, 2021, 8:53 pm

Snap Crackle POP!

It will probably turn out they’re living in some “alternative lifestyle” arrangement.
Like Dumbledore, someone at Kelloggs will decide that it’s time for us to know the truth about fictional characters.

You know they can’t leave your childhood memories alone, right?

Grape Nuts, here I thought they were really grape seeds with some industrial magic performed on them to make them palatable. I do admit to liking them, but we haven’t done cold cereal in decades.

Comment from RD
Time: February 3, 2021, 8:55 pm

Well, I did buy a box of Grape-Nuts to put with my covid-antifa-apocalypse pantry stores, and I have yet to eat it. Is that the cause of the shortage??

Comment from Jeff Weimer
Time: February 3, 2021, 9:43 pm

And here, you just followed me a couple of days ago.

Wait, was *that* what did it?

Comment from p2
Time: February 3, 2021, 9:44 pm

Loves me some Grape-nuts. Seriously. Even though it’s like eating a bowl of rocks.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: February 3, 2021, 10:15 pm

@ Jeff Weimer,
You are seriously mising out if you don’t start a blog called The Weimer Republic.

I was unceremoniously bounced from The Land of the Twits on January 8 for “spam” and “perverting the course of justice”… uh, “platform manipulation.” I say I should be given a reward for that!

Seriously, it was a good thing that I was driven out. I have a lot more time now for productive stuff although I do read an article here and there which makes want to twitter-scream, “NO! THIS is what happened!” Then I remember: twitter is dead to me.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: February 3, 2021, 11:43 pm

Never cared for Grape-Nuts myself; too hard and too much work to chew, but JavaMan loves the cereal. But we have not been able to buy it for a long time. I never thought about it being hoarded though. But I just bought 5 oz. Dixie Cups for the first time in a year.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: February 4, 2021, 12:50 am

Grape-Nuts over vanilla ice cream with a shot of Drambuie poured over it all. Try it – you’ll like it!

Comment from Timothy J. McCorkle
Time: February 4, 2021, 1:00 am

Grandma cereal, Grape nuts, Special K, All bran, and the Large structural Grade Two per BIG Box Shredded WHEAT.

Comment from Pupster
Time: February 4, 2021, 1:17 am

Rice Krispies has a frosted version which is pretty good too. Cheerios was always our go to cereal, Corn Chex and Rice Chex being close seconds. Never cared for Grape Nuts but I guess they would store well, not like they can go stale or anything.

Comment from MrKnowItAll
Time: February 4, 2021, 1:20 am

Grapenuts made with some hot milk (or half&half for the bold), some sweetener, and a bit of butter is a very nice winter breakfast. Think of it as oatmeal from a really tough neighborhood. Tasty too!

Comment from Sabrina Chase
Time: February 4, 2021, 2:12 am

BTW, it involves dealing with *another* ebil online org but you can set up a internet phone number with a Google account. It forwards SMS texts too, which is how I got around one of the phone demanding apps–used my fake Google phone, got the activation code, then ignored it after. It vanishes after a few months if you don’t use it anyway. So pretty safe and free if you aren’t a business. voice.google.com

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 4, 2021, 11:08 am

Thank you, Sabrina. I may look into that. I was kinda getting into Twitter for the first time this Winter. Lockdown mania, prolly.

From the Wikipedia:

“Grape-Nuts was initially marketed as a natural cereal that could enhance health and vitality, and as a “food for brain and nerve centres.” Its lightweight and compact nature, nutritional value, and resistance to spoilage made it a popular food for exploration and expedition groups in the 1920s and 1930s. In World War II, Grape-Nuts was a component of the lightweight jungle ration used by some U.S. and Allied Forces in wartime operations before 1944.”

Sounds like a good survivalist food. Never thought of that. Would be rough without milk, though.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: February 4, 2021, 11:20 am

Grape nuts – yessir kids, made from Genuine US Federal Army Hardtack stored in a warehouse in Baltimore just after the end of the “recent unpleasantness”. Been there for over a hunnerd years. We add the yeast of course, Hardtack was never made with such a thing as yeast!

That’s why there’s a shortage, finally cracked open the last few thousand cases and used em up, and new, sadly we have to wait for the Hardtack from the “Indian Wars” and the Spanish American War to age till the next batch can be run.
But we refuse to lower our standards with modern make do ingredients!

As a substitute, try using Pilot Biscuits. Grind them down fine in your food processor and follow Weasel’s recipe!

Sweasy – in all seriousness, Graham crackers are sort of the same concept, intended to be the ‘perfect food’.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 4, 2021, 12:43 pm

Google Voice didn’t let me make an account and didn’t tell me why 🙁

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: February 4, 2021, 1:31 pm

@ Sweasey,

Google Voice says that it’s primarily a US-based app. I think this is the reason for the failure.

Comment from Downwind of Seattle
Time: February 4, 2021, 2:20 pm

There are many things in short supply right now due to Tyrant (both big and small scale) Edicts. That messed with the supply chain, the manpower, and the other equations that had been developed to keep product on the shelf when needed. It also doesn’t help that a certain far-east dictatorship then stepped up their buying of either the supplies or factories (or both) at fire sale prices. That entity then requires that any resulting output be shipped to over to them them.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: February 4, 2021, 3:14 pm

Supply problem? I read that WE caused the problem.
And it wasn’t the ‘stay at home’ orders from our wise government (masks don’t help, wear a mask! wear 2 masks! wear 3 masks! 5 masks will make you immortal!)

Nor was it the orders to prioritize looney panic items, like toilet paper and hand sanitizer and MASKS and ventilators! OMG we need more ventilators!


No, the study says WE were already self isolating and so we can’t blame any of this on stay at home orders, or restaurant closings, or closing houses of worship, or closing any facilities (except the all good riots) that were open to the public and had a occupancy capacity greater than a phone booth.

We did it. We ‘built’ that. Yessir.

But it’s okay, NOW for some strange reason they can’t figure out, the number of cases is on the decline!
It MUST be because the miracle of the November 4th US election changed the way COVID behaves.

Well, that… or it changed the way things were being reported both by the governmental and private medical organizations and the media, but…shoot, THAT can’t be what the change was, that’s just crazy talk.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 4, 2021, 6:28 pm

I thought of that, Expresso Bold. I set my VPN to New York, but they rumbled me somehow.

Comment from God’s middle finger
Time: February 4, 2021, 7:09 pm

in the States I can use TEXTNOW or 2NDLINE app for a temporary or permanent free number – calls texts unlimited – I’ve used it to verify things online – if you desire to frolic in the land of the twit

i’ve deleted the bloody thing


Comment from BJM
Time: February 5, 2021, 3:45 am

@Downwind I’m so old I remember when the USSR had shortages and bare grocery shelves. I’ve been watching Dan & Susie Sheekoz, they are learning English via movies and Youtube. Their good natured dry humor and slightly off-kilter English is charming. Their recent tour through a typical Hypermarket is irony writ large, it seems they have plenty of Bounty paper towels and toilet paper…although Dan is not impressed by the US style junk food.

Comment from blake
Time: February 5, 2021, 10:30 pm

Oh, I got the “GIVE US YOUR PHONE NUMBER TO PROVE YOU’RE LEGIT” BS over…well, I think it was a bunch of Mean Girls targeting me after the (now admittedly rigged) election. That and my forbidden “Benford Law” messages.

I faked a phone number to get back in, then quit anyway.

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: February 7, 2021, 7:39 pm

Do you need dental crowns?
Eat Grape Nuts cereal and find out!

Comment from Joe A
Time: February 8, 2021, 4:13 am

“Even though it’s like eating a bowl of rocks.”

A few seconds in the microwave. It’s a game changer.

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