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I’m not even sure *this* is English

I’m doing it, guys. I’m doing the last ever bit of paperwork – going for my British citizenship.

I’ve been eligible for years now, I’m just. You know. Lazy.

Also, I hate, hate, HATE dealing with the immigration authorities here. They’re all surly brown people with a chip on their hijab.

So this is a tick box: I have promised to provide “The United States of America passport, identity card or official letter for S. Weasel to prove the level of English language required”

What does that mean? Showing my passport proves I speak English? It doesn’t, you know.

Oh, well. If I make it, I have to go take an oath to Charlie in public and then I get a new citizen welcome kit. Really.

Going to cost me £1,330, too. Still, I’ll be able to commit misdemeanors and not get deported. Worth it!


Comment from ExpressoBold Pureblood
Time: March 31, 2023, 7:14 pm

Are you giving up your American citizenship or are you holding dual citizenship?

Comment from Skandia Recluse
Time: March 31, 2023, 7:47 pm

Congratulations, and good luck. Stay optimistic.
Everything is going to be alright.

Comment from OldFert
Time: March 31, 2023, 8:23 pm

Mrs Fert just asked: Which misdemeanor is first on your list?
Related, could you provide a short list of preferred misdemeanors to commit? Jaywalking? Double parking?

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: March 31, 2023, 8:43 pm

Good luck SWeasy! Personally, Antarctica is looking pretty good to me these days. Or maybe just buy a rusty old boat and live on it.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 31, 2023, 9:43 pm

No, double citizenship is perfectly cromulent. I mean, I shouldn’t project my first crime, should I?

Comment from Anonymous
Time: April 1, 2023, 1:05 am

Bonny Chuck eh?

Pity it wasn’t Her Majesty.

Anonymously Durned

Comment from ExpressoBold Pureblood
Time: April 1, 2023, 4:04 am


What is the origin of cromulent?

Cromulent, “acceptable, legitimate,” was first used in an episode of The Simpsons in 1996. When Edna Krabappel, the fourth-grade teacher, remarks, “’Embiggens’? Hm, I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield,” Elizabeth Hoover, the second-grade teacher, answers, “I don’t know why. It’s a perfectly cromulent word.” – dictionary.com

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 1, 2023, 6:27 am

I know. I meant to do it while Her Maj was still alive. It doesn’t matter though: I would have had to pledge “allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, her Heirs and Successors.”

I do kind of hate this. I take my word seriously.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: April 1, 2023, 9:33 am

That’s all right Weasy, you can self identify as the Lord God now and they have to respect you and treat you accordingly.

This would of course make YOUR WORD absolute law.

Well, at least until Chat takes over the world, or whatever childish other fear we’re peddling this week while the real powers plot their course to World Nobility in which we will play the part of loyal, silent, happy serfs, or compost.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: April 1, 2023, 3:02 pm

Are you automatically registered to vote, once you become a new citizen?

My father-in-law never once in his life voted in any election because he refused to register to vote. That’s because Texas (formerly) used the voter rolls to select people for jury duty, and he was determined to never serve on a jury.

Comment from Oceania
Time: April 2, 2023, 1:57 am

I’m so lucky that I cannot visit the USA or any of their territories.

When Uncle Sam throws a wobbly at a State Department level – you know you have doing something right in life.

As for sWeasel – the system has an interest in you.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: April 4, 2023, 11:36 am

“This would of course make YOUR WORD absolute law.”

Are you suggesting that it isn’t already?!

*returns to digging for worms*

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