Oooo…I always wanted one of these…!
Uncle B got me a soft new seat cushion, a trackball mouse and three games (Witcher, Deus Ex and Skyrim). I think it’s pretty obvious: he never wants to speak to me again.
Oh, also some enticing bath products, because if I’m going to be a permanent piece of kinetic livingroom sculpture, probably best if I don’t stink too bad.
And this thing, which is one of those wacky plasma orb things. I have ALWAYS wanted one of these, but could never justify buying it. Only, this one’s USB powered! w00t! (I really, really miss being a stoner).
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m sure there’s something I have to…kill or…drink…or rescue from ghouls. Or something.
December 26, 2011 — 11:33 pm
Comments: 35
Merry Ho Ho, y’all!
Midnight in Old Blighty. Uncle B wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas, but he felt funny doing it in the Dead Pool thread.
So I made him this here post.
December 25, 2011 — 12:22 am
Comments: 60
Not exactly “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf”
Uncle B says, “what are you going to post about tonight?” And I’m, like, “pff! I dunno. I’ve posted Kim Jong-il twice. Maybe I’ll just make it Kim Jong-il Week!”
So there you have it. That’s where posts come from.
It’s the Holidays. I’m going to be a complete waste of skin from now until after the New Year.
That’s my solemn promise to you.
December 21, 2011 — 10:44 pm
Comments: 20
A very Amazon Christmas (again)
Welp, that’s it. That’s my Christmas shopping done. And I did it all without moving from this spot.
Do you have any idea how screwed I would be without Amazon? Can’t drive, foreign country, unhelpful spouse. Unhelpful in the sense that he doesn’t want anything. If it’s short of a Ferrari, he’s already bought it for himself.
I’m reduced to trawling the fearsome backwaters of Amazon. Occasionally, I score a hit (the electric butter dish I got him for his birthday has worked a treat), but it’s usually the Festival of Socks and Underpants.
Fortunately, he loves him some socks and underpants.
December 14, 2011 — 11:36 pm
Comments: 42
Mañana
London. Christmas party. Booze. Chinese food. Midnight train. Laterz.
December 7, 2011 — 12:44 am
Comments: 11
Happy Thanksgiving from Stinky and the whole flock!
With the colder weather, the older chooks have gotten really crabby. Much chasing and pecking, most of it falling on poor, gormless Vita. So I bought some anti-pecking spray, which is supposed to stop pecking and feather plucking, mostly by tasting bitter.
I figured I’d try it out on Violet first — that’s the off-white one — because she gets a share of the pecks, but she’s utterly fearless. Experiment on the bold chicken, not the shy one. I had no idea — anti-pecking spray is brown, gummy and smells awful. She looks filthy and smells like an old-fashioned BandAid.
So now I have a brown, gummy, stinky chicken. It’s hard to see how that’s going to help. Hell, I was tempted to peck her myself.
Of course we do Thanksgiving in this household. It’s my favorite holiday, and Uncle B didn’t take much persuasion to adopt an extra turkey feast. We do it as an evening meal, though, so I’m still wrapped up pre-mashing sweet potatoes and pre-baking rolls.
Then — let the gluttony begin!
Have a great Thanksgiving, y’all. Don’t strangle any aunties or brain your brother-in-law.
November 24, 2011 — 5:19 pm
Comments: 37
My pet goat
Happy Eid al-Adha, everyone (this year, it runs from Sunday the 6th until Wednesday the 9th). The Festival of Sacrifice celebrates Abraham’s willingness to cut his son’s throat in obedience to God — one of the more disturbing chapters in the book, I’ve always thought.
Today, a taxi driver told my mother in law this story: when he was a lad in Kashmir, his grandmother bought a young goat every Summer and raised it as a pet. She stroked it and spoiled it with treats until it loved her and followed her everywhere.
Then they killed it for Eid al-Adha.
Because, see, Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son, you should sacrifice something you love, and that loves you back.
I’ve been trying to tell myself that of course the gods must ask you to do difficult things; but I’m not sure it follows that the gods must tell you to do rotten, shitty things. You can draw a pretty straight line between people who think God expects them to kill their pets, and people who rejoice when their sons fly airplanes into office buildings in the name of God.
November 4, 2011 — 11:09 pm
Comments: 46
Boo!
Okay, okay…Ray Villafane, I ain’t. But I couldn’t find my modeling tools. Also, I suck at pumpkin carving.
Hallowe’en wasn’t a thing here when Uncle B were a lad. It is now. Not a huge thing, but a very definite holiday, much in the style of the American version.
If I had to guess, I’d point a finger at retailers, yearning after that sweet candy-and-costume money. Older Brits mill about confusedly at Hallowe’en, muttering questions.
Is there any special food we eat on the 31st? Do we send cards? Is there a greeting? They worry about these things.
Happy All Hallows, anyhoo! Our clocks changed already, so we’re a bit out of synch tonight. Oh, and…BEAK-BEAK-BUTT-BUTT. Pass it on.
October 31, 2011 — 11:29 pm
Comments: 21
Yeah, this guy
His name is Ray Villafane and his motto is “You bet it’s a real Pucking Fumpkin!”
I love this guy. He’s an exquisite modeler, and his choice of media reflects a refreshing humility (he works in pumpkins and also sand).
I know you’ve seen his stuff before; they trot him out every Hallowe’en. This year, the Last Vegas Sun ran a couple of excellent slideshows of his work (here and here).
On his website, he’s selling a set of his seven indispensable carving tools and a pair of instructional DVDs (also a couple of rad t-shirts).
I’m sorely tempted — pumpkin carving is one of those things I think I should be good at, and I am not — but international postage and duties would probably make the whole package eye-wateringly expensive.
Anyway, Happy Hallowe’en, y’all! (Yeah, I know the 31st Monday, but I wanted to leave you with some cool stuff to look at over the weekend).
October 28, 2011 — 8:30 pm
Comments: 22
Okay, this is a weird one
Erdstall. “Earth stall.” Very old tunnels. At least 700 of them in Bavaria, 500 in Austria. Some in Germany, France, Scotland and Ireland, right across Europe. Nobody has a fucking clue what they were for. Probably 90% haven’t been discovered yet.
Here’s what they do know. Though some believe they were made in the Stone Age, the few bits of wood and charcoal found inside consistently date from early Medieval times. They were dug by people who knew what they were doing, people who kneeled and dug with two-handed wedges. Every few yards, there’s a little cavity in the wall for an oil lamp. They’re mostly 20-50 yards long (the longest one in Germany is 125 yards long).
Long portions of the tunnels snake back and forth to reduce pressure from the soil overhead, so that planking wasn’t needed. Dead end tunnels branch off at times. The smallest passages are only about 16″ wide. Most are too small to walk comfortably. They don’t widen out into chambers. There aren’t multiple entrance/exits. Explorers often run low on oxygen while exploring them. Some fill with water.
They sometimes start near churches or cemeteries, or the kitchens of old farmhouses, or out in the woods, but they don’t end anywhere. There’s seldom anything at all in them. There’s not a single written record of an erdstall being built. Around 1200, they were blocked up with rubble (including easily datable bits of porcelain).
There’s been very little archeological interest in them, so study has largely been left to amateurs. With theories.
Practical: escape tunnels. Hiding places. Storage tunnels. Prisons.
Religious: late Druid places of worship. Early Christian places of worship.
Out there: Elves. Goblins. Some stupid hippie shit about healing and vaginas and souls or something.
“Erdstall” is a highly Googlable word that doesn’t appear to have other meanings, so I highly recommend you do that thing. Google it, I mean. The pictures alone are worth it.
August 25, 2011 — 10:42 pm
Comments: 15