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My mom would be so proud

Inspired by this tweet. Did I say “inspired”? I meant “stolen.”

Yes, I’ve put it on stuff, but Zazzle hasn’t kicked any of it loose yet. Hey, you know all that “DEFUND PBS” merchandise I promised? I made a bunch of it and they pulled the lot. “Trademark violation” for using the name PBS.

Stupid Zazzle.

I’m still soldiering on manfully with Twitter, the way one brushes one’s teeth or eats one’s broccoli. I haven’t really “got it” yet, I guess. Too many blind links, too much repetition, way, WAY too much pointless attention whoring. Marketing never was in my skillset.

And I’ll tell you this for free: there are several people on Twitter who would be well-advised not to be. People who come across as decent and thoughtful in long posts and as screaming assholes in the rapid world of 140-char interchange.

sock it to me

November 9, 2010 — 11:51 pm
Comments: 28

Not exactly Superman…

Faster than a speeding runnybabbit…
More powerful than a really strong runnybabbit…
Able to leap tall runnybabbits in a single bound…
Look, under that hedge! It’s — A WEASEL!

Yeah. Heh. My nephew bought a weasel shirt.

It’s the first I’ve seen one of my own products in person, on account of I am FAR too cheap to pay trans-Atlantic postage. I’m relieved to observe that the print quality and color fidelity looked good.

Okay, y’all — you know the drill. Show up tomorrow at 6pm Weasel Blog Time to make your pick in the Tenth Celebrity Dead Pool.

And if steve wins it a third time in a row, for god’s sake nobody sit next to him.

sock it to me

July 1, 2010 — 10:34 pm
Comments: 18

Pudding!

Pudding! So cool. So creamy. So silky smooth.

I asked Uncle B to buy me a pudding cup for a prop (this being England, it’s called something gay like “trifle”). He said, “I still don’t understand this pudding thing.”

So I explained it to him.

He put on his best Colonel Mustard face and said, “firstly, you don’t have any balls. And secondly, I suspect this Ace person doesn’t have any balls either, or he would realize what an extremely unpleasant and dangerous experience that would be.”

Then he harumphed, brushed the deviled lamb’s kidney out of his mustache, rustled his copy of the Times and disappeared behind the Financial pages.

Yes, I’m whoring a t-shirt. Have a good weekend, everyone!

sock it to me

January 22, 2010 — 5:55 pm
Comments: 37

Rooting for the home team

heterosexuality

Apologies to my GLBT readers. I do have gay readers, right? Because if you guys are shunning me, it probably means my blog design reeks.

I went to art school, as you know — the Rhode Island School of Design. Which means I’ve had more gay friends than Marilyn Monroe. Put together.

PAHahaha! I’ve waited thirty years to use that line again.

Anyhow, I don’t care what you do as long as you don’t do it to kids or animals. And I don’t have to watch. And you shut the hell up about it every once in a while, huh?

But it’s time again for Stoaty to launch an appeal to base tribalism and try to move some merchandise up in here. Why, yes! You can get this design on a dark shirt, a light shirt or a couple of different bumperstickers.

The tagline is something a very puzzled young weasel is supposed to have pointed out when her mother tried to explain the concept of homosexuality. Why did Mother explain homosexuality to a six-year-old? Because she was a Thoroughly Modern woman. With some Very Strange friends.

Good weekend, all!

sock it to me

November 20, 2009 — 7:11 pm
Comments: 48

Unintended consequences

carbonfootprint

HAVE you ever noticed a friend or neighbour driving a new hybrid car and felt pressure to trade in your gas guzzler? Or worried about what people might think when you drive up to the office in an SUV?

That’s the question in a New Scientist article on how we could cut down on damage to the environment by making people ‘fess up to what they consume. HotAir ran it under the headline Newest solution to global warming: Shame.

The author studied the way subjects would selfishly abuse shared resources — basically, the tragedy of the commons — but could be persuaded not to if everyone was aware how much everyone else was consuming.

See, this is why the excess of liberals in academia is a problem. You miss subtle data points, like MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT ASHAMED OF HOW MUCH ENERGY THEY USE. We pay for what we get, fair and square. Through the nose, even. What’s to be ashamed?

Energy consumption is a proxy for success. Bigger cars, bigger houses, maybe a boat or motorbike, lots of air travel — the good life is hell on your carbon footprint. Arch warmist and soon-to-be green billionaire Al Gore has a fucking GIGANTIC carbon footprint (I remind you, one of his three mansions uses twenty times the energy of the average American family home). If he’s not ashamed, why would I be?

Only in a leftist’s — or Christian missionary’s — dream world is a thin, dry, gray life of parsimony a status symbol. For the rest of us, we’re pretty proud of our toys. I predict outting the carbon exploiters wouldn’t play out quite the way it did in a university lab.


Say, did you catch yourself thinking, “gosh, I wish there was a range of quality merchandise with this logo or design emblazoned on it?” Well, it’s your lucky day!

sock it to me

November 17, 2009 — 5:04 pm
Comments: 36

Gots to start somewhere…

wienershirt

Ordinarily, my MO would be to spend a week or two twiddling around with the graphics and layout and stuff, but I can’t resist jumping on the dogpile and taking craven advantage of Dear Leader’s latest humiliation….ummm…triumph…ahhhh….well-deserved award. So, here’s my test storefront and this links directly to my first shirt idea.

DON’T buy something to do me a favor, you wonderful bastards. I’ve turned the commission way, way down — as far as it’ll go — while I work out the kinks. I’d get pennies. I’m not doing this one for me, I’m doing it for Dear Leader.

DO, please…if you get a chance…go over and poke the buttons and pull the levers and let me know what you think of Zazzle and the interface and the range of products they’ve got. It’s all very rough at the moment, but that’s okay — the store template has customizable CSS, so I can really screw it up if I put my mind to it.

Oh, and my shirt idea. If you have suggestions, I can make changes. I want to get it right. It’s not every day that Obama gets accolades just for teh Awesome.

Oh, wait…yes it is!

sock it to me

October 11, 2009 — 3:19 pm
Comments: 44