Graduating degrees of crazy
I’ve been on Twitter rather more than is good for me this past two years, and I’ve followed lots and lots of people I didn’t before. Oh, dear readers, I have followed some doozies. There’s a chemtrails lady and a flat-earther (I honestly haven’t worked out if this person is serious or blowing smoke up my bum). There’s even some nutballs who think the governments are working independently and honestly to do the right thing during a dangerous pandemic.
I haven’t posted much about it because it’s honestly a firehose of crazy and I didn’t want to get any on me. Just for funsies, though, let’s list the COVID-19 theories. I was going to say “in ascending order of lunacy” but couldn’t make up my mind how to rank them.
- Everything is as it seems. There’s a dangerous pandemic and the government is striving, however, imperfectly, to keep us all safe. (pff! madness!)
- There was no virus, it’s all just a power grab. (The staunchest proponent of this one in my circle actually caught the bug and had a rethink).
- Sure, there was a virus, but it turned out it wasn’t that bad politicians have exploited the situation in an unprecedented power grab.
- The virus was created in a lab in Wuhan (with funding from the US) and was accidentally released.
- The virus was created in a lab in Wuhan (with funding from the US) and was deliberately released, order to a) crash the economy or b) reduce surplus population.
- Actually, the vaccine was created to reduce surplus population. It will a) directly kill a significant number or b) wreck immune systems so significant numbers die over the next few years of cancers and other immunity-related illnesses or c) sterilize enough young people to significantly reduce future population.
- This is all just a big money-maker for the pharmaceutical companies and the politicians who love them.
- It’s a giant global conspiracy to smash everything and build back better – i.e. the way the greens (or the authoritarians pretending to be greens) want it. “You will own nothing” etcetera.
- It’s a giant global conspiracy to smash all the economies on earth and rebuild them with a digital currency and central bank in the control of a handful of Bond villains. This theory usually involves forgiving all our debt in return for relinquishing all our property. (See also “you will own nothing…”).
- It’s a conspiracy to smash the middle class and their small businesses and transfer their wealth to billionaires and their giant corporations. (Sadly, this actually happened, conspiracy or not).
- It’s the gateway to a social credit system and complete government control of every aspect of your life.
Did I miss any? I refuse to say which nutty theory, if any, I personally believe. Some of them naturally go together, in sets.
It’s coming to something when the least frightening and mind-blowing idea in the whole list is “greedy drug companies selling billions in unnecessary vaccines.”
The picture, by the way, is from here: a clever take on the old flat earth theory.
November 30, 2021 — 8:12 pm
Comments: 19