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Graduating degrees of crazy

I’ve been on Twitter rather more than is good for me this past two years, and I’ve followed lots and lots of people I didn’t before. Oh, dear readers, I have followed some doozies. There’s a chemtrails lady and a flat-earther (I honestly haven’t worked out if this person is serious or blowing smoke up my bum). There’s even some nutballs who think the governments are working independently and honestly to do the right thing during a dangerous pandemic.

I haven’t posted much about it because it’s honestly a firehose of crazy and I didn’t want to get any on me. Just for funsies, though, let’s list the COVID-19 theories. I was going to say “in ascending order of lunacy” but couldn’t make up my mind how to rank them.

  • Everything is as it seems. There’s a dangerous pandemic and the government is striving, however, imperfectly, to keep us all safe. (pff! madness!)
  • There was no virus, it’s all just a power grab. (The staunchest proponent of this one in my circle actually caught the bug and had a rethink).
  • Sure, there was a virus, but it turned out it wasn’t that bad politicians have exploited the situation in an unprecedented power grab.
  • The virus was created in a lab in Wuhan (with funding from the US) and was accidentally released.
  • The virus was created in a lab in Wuhan (with funding from the US) and was deliberately released, order to a) crash the economy or b) reduce surplus population.
  • Actually, the vaccine was created to reduce surplus population. It will a) directly kill a significant number or b) wreck immune systems so significant numbers die over the next few years of cancers and other immunity-related illnesses or c) sterilize enough young people to significantly reduce future population.
  • This is all just a big money-maker for the pharmaceutical companies and the politicians who love them.
  • It’s a giant global conspiracy to smash everything and build back better – i.e. the way the greens (or the authoritarians pretending to be greens) want it. “You will own nothing” etcetera.
  • It’s a giant global conspiracy to smash all the economies on earth and rebuild them with a digital currency and central bank in the control of a handful of Bond villains. This theory usually involves forgiving all our debt in return for relinquishing all our property. (See also “you will own nothing…”).
  • It’s a conspiracy to smash the middle class and their small businesses and transfer their wealth to billionaires and their giant corporations. (Sadly, this actually happened, conspiracy or not).
  • It’s the gateway to a social credit system and complete government control of every aspect of your life.

Did I miss any? I refuse to say which nutty theory, if any, I personally believe. Some of them naturally go together, in sets.

It’s coming to something when the least frightening and mind-blowing idea in the whole list is “greedy drug companies selling billions in unnecessary vaccines.”

The picture, by the way, is from here: a clever take on the old flat earth theory.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 30, 2021, 8:12 pm

I will say, some of my loonier follows have been the most accurate predictors of the future. I think it was more than six months ago some people were saying a ‘new variant’ would be found just before Christmas to ruin everything. Why the British government is so intent on ruining Christmas, I could not say.

Comment from Teej
Time: November 30, 2021, 10:16 pm

I wanted to say which one I believe… but I want you folks to like me.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: November 30, 2021, 10:26 pm

Right about now I’m picturing a giant Venn diagram with all of these statements in overlapping circles and me smack dab in the middle of their intersections

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 30, 2021, 11:10 pm

Yes, I’m kind of there, Armybrat. Every one of those suggestions is the preposterous stuff of pulp scifi stories, but no other explanations are on offer.

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: November 30, 2021, 11:16 pm

I would rate two theories as untrue and the rest range anywhere from partially true to mostly true. I’d give a link so you could follow my craziness on twitter too but you won’t find me there.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: December 1, 2021, 12:56 am

Errrr. No space men involved?


I mean your menu is too complicated!
Can I still get free egg rolls if I order from column a, b and c?

Comment from Dr of Thinkology, Anthony Falsey
Time: December 1, 2021, 1:21 am

Oh, and the Earth IS flat, the SCIENCE is settled and if you mock me you are mocking SCIENCE!

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: December 1, 2021, 4:30 am

One thing to bear in mind is that we tend to refer to “Them” and “They” and “TPTB” as though it/they were some unitary, or at least semi-unitary, body of people who are all coordinating in Conspiracy Hell (or Heaven depending on whether you’re one of Them).

There’s no evidence that this must be true. I’m leaning towards a lot of bad actors on a variety of stages taking advantage of a troublesome but not catastrophic illness making the rounds, and playing off each other any time they think they can move towards whatever their smallish cabal is aiming for. This is not “coordination” in any deliberate way except within a relatively stratified and limited sense.

Yes, statists are trying to gain power and control. Several different and competing flavors of statists, at that.

Yes, big pharma is giddily toting up all the billions they can squeeze out of the Wuhan Vascular Endotheliitis, and trying their damnedest to keep the lid on the terrible side-effects of their non-vaccine “vaccines” and just how high the risk level is.

Yes, the antipopulationist greenies are pushing pushing pushing to get as many people shot up with those risky high-profit genetic modification drugs.

Yes, it is very likely that what’s been dubbed the SARS-CoV-2 virus didn’t happen naturally. I’d prefer to think it escaped rather than was deliberately release from the lab that created it (probably somewhere in Wuhan), but all it would have taken was at minimum ONE truly evil bastard to let it loose. But it was IMO probably just a fuckup.

I could go on but I think I’ll now go and have a drink.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: December 1, 2021, 9:48 am

Yep, what Uncle Al said.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 1, 2021, 9:50 am

Uncle Al, you’re forgetting the WEF particularly the Young Global Leaders program. A terrifying number of our current assholes are products of it, including Vladimir Putin(!), Angela Merkel, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerborg, Gavin Newsom. That terrifying Jacinda Whatsername in NZ. Leana Wen, the CNN talking head who is always calling for more and tighter restrictions.

I can picture all those guys who have been egging each other on at Davos getting a phone call from Klaus, “well, zis is it – zis is our chance to do what we’ve been talking about. You were serious about all zat ‘take control of everything to protect zee earth’ stuff, ya?”

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: December 1, 2021, 10:45 am

You’re right, Stoaty, I am forgetting the WEF+. Chalk one up for “denial” I suppose. You make a good point: there’s definitely a persuasive case to be made for more conspiring and coordination now that we’re this far down the ugly path.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: December 1, 2021, 1:19 pm

Young world leaders?


When did they change the name from Hitler Jugend?

Comment from technochitlin
Time: December 1, 2021, 2:37 pm

The worst part of all this is the helpless feeling you get when you try to think of “What small things can I do in my life to make this a little better” and you realize that you are completely at the mercy of great forces that you cannot control.

It’s probably always been that way but never before has it been so obvious.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: December 1, 2021, 2:50 pm

I want to know why the Wuhan Institute of Virology has a sign across the front of the building that says in English: Wuhan Institute of Virology. Maybe English signage is common for tourist attractions but I find it odd in this case.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: December 1, 2021, 3:26 pm

I am not much of a conspiracy guy – I think one should always apply Hanlon’s Razor:

“Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”

So… The virus finds its way out of a bat-cave in Laos because some Chinese Scientist has found a niche in studying viruses that gets funding on based on vague promises of usefulness that sound good enough to some Bureaucrat who really doesn’t understand it but won’t admit it. She then charms her boss into funding a trip to Laos -cool huh?- and happens to find the right bat on the right day.

https: //www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-chinas-bat-woman-hunted-down-viruses-from-sars-to-the-new-coronavirus1/ – note that this article was originally published in March 2020, but was later ‘sanitized’.

From there, it either goes directly to Wuhan or Canada.

Wait! Canada?

Yeah – Here’s the Canadian Lab Link story from 2019 (well before the outbreak, but well timed none the less, noting that the day you get caught usually isn’t the day you stole the Macguffin, er virus).
https: //www.the-scientist.com/news-opinion/questions-surround-canadian-shipment-of-deadly-viruses-to-china-66254

Either way- Here’s where laziness and stupidity kick in:

Upon returning to Wuhan, with their really cool virus, some researcher starts playing to see what she can do – scientists love to tinker like a suburban dad in his basement.

Things start to get really interesting and she and her team are now doing some neat tricks – building “Frankenstein’s monster” viruses. Note: I tend to believe that she got the virus from Laos, but the editing techniques from the Canadian labs, which at a minimum inspired her work if not directly aiding it.
https: //www.wionews.com/opinions-blogs/evidence-suggests-genetic-manipulation-in-covid-19-303189

So interesting that she makes her team start working a lot of overtime and nobody has time to eat, except for grabbing a quick bite at the yucky facility- internal canteen (yucky as are all government cafeterias). After a few weeks this get old (该死! If I have to eat cafeteria Monkey Brain Stew for lunch one more time, I’m gonna scream!) https: //cookpad.com/us/recipes/341828-monkey-brains

So one, or a couple of lab assistants start sneaking out to eat at a restaurant at the nearby meat market ( Now there’s some REAL good monkey brain eating, right there!) https: //www.culinaryschools.org/blog/raw-monkey-brains/

Since they are not supposed to be leaving the lab facility, there’s not enough time to change clothes, scrub down AND have lunch without coming back late so screw all that nonsense.

Then one day… uh oh… old Wu didn’t open up his restaurant today; guess we have to go someplace else for lunch…

https: //www.yahoo.com/news/first-known-covid-case-vendor-131118427.html

And so it begins….

There’s another chapter to all this, entitled:

“Never let a good crisis go to waste”

https: / focuscfo.com/never-let-a-good-crisis-go-to-waste/

…but I have to go now. Some idiot is hovering a helicopter over the house and it’s hard to concentrate and some other idiot is pounding on my front door and shouting somethi

Note: I have deliberately inserted gaps into the links in an attempt to sneak past Akismet

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 1, 2021, 5:02 pm

An awful lot of potential evil we’re seeing now would not be possible without technology, particularly the internet. Monitoring and tracking is enabled by huge, cheap storage and mobile phones (and Alexa, etc). QR codes, ordering groceries online, working from home. The unfolding nightmare could not have happened twenty years ago.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: December 1, 2021, 6:58 pm

And as if this isn’t enough we’ve gone back to scare mongering wars with our age old evil enemies Russia and Red China.

Someone needs to pause and ponder what happens when you start a world war and everybody had based their currencies on the idea that, with the exception of Zimbabwe, everyone else’s currency is backed by….oh, right, now it’s all backed by “because we say so and some other people agree”. No more gold backed economies to fight wars. That works when only one world power (you know who) is blowing shit up. Now….Just fiat . currencies from sea to shining sea to shining sea based on the economies of all the people who’s economies will go into the crapper when their countries start getting blown up in the war.

Wow, if only the NAZIs has thought to do that we could be spared the endless hunts for NAZI gold and the endless stream of movies and books about Crime, espionage and adventure based on the hunt for the gold the krauts used to pay for their war.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: December 1, 2021, 10:10 pm

Deborah HH:

Highway signage in China is in Chinese and English.

The penetration of English (or just Roman letters) into Asian cultures is astounding. For instance, the sign for a public parking lot or garage in Japan is a big “P”. YouTube has many walking tours of Japanese cities; there is lots of signage in “romaji” and English, including directions in public transit stations (always in both).

And of course, “Arabic” numerals are everywhere

Comment from Armybrat
Time: December 2, 2021, 12:01 am

@anonymous..as an Armybrat, although my parents were both Americans, my first language was German, my next was Spanish. I didn’t achieve English fluency until my teens and at that time I was learning French in school. And then I met my only English speaking husband. We went to Greece about 15 years ago. It was the first time in my life I didn’t know what was being said around me. Astonishing, really! The next time was when we went to Japan about 10 years ago. We had the sense in both Greece and Japan to hire private drivers. I don’t read or speak Greek or Japanese…and I confess that after many years of English only that I struggle with German, French and Spanish.

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