Somebody tell me what happened
I have an extreeemely low second-hand embarrassment threshold. I really don’t think I could bear to watch the video for myself.
Wha’ happen?
Good weekend, all!
February 28, 2025 — 6:47 pm
Comments: 15
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Her name is Jessica Starr. After her famous scream at the 2017 inauguration, she seems to have dropped off the planet. I’m not the only one to go looking for her, either. The trail is confused by the sad story of a meteorologist of the same name who hanged herself when her lasik surgery went bad.
Oh, man, I am so relieved. I thought for sure we’d be dealing with weeks of court fights and ‘found’ ballots. I told everybody it would be a while before we knew for sure. This is almost a letdown.
I’ll take it! I’ll take it!
November 6, 2024 — 4:31 pm
Comments: 21
Day 2
Today it’s walkie-talkies. Fourteen dead and 450 injured.
Also, unconfirmed reports of phones, motorcycles, fingerprint machines, solar panels, anything with a modern battery exploding. I wonder. So far, all the hits have been incredibly targeted to senior Hezbollah. All those other things would bring higher risk of unintended victims. This may just be panic made manifest in rumor.
That’s the thing – these explosions have hit and crippled the command structure, not the footsoldiers. Israel now has a snapshot of the whole Hezbollah network, including surprises like Iran’s ambassador to Lebanon.
Some of these guys won’t be coming back, either. There are reports that the pagers beeped for a few minutes before going off. How many of them would have been holding them in their hands and looking into them?
Picture not mine. Stole it off of Twitter. If I knew who made it, I’d give proper credit.
September 18, 2024 — 7:21 pm
Comments: 11
Obvious Photoshop idea is obvious
Oh my lord, this looks so painful I’m almost sympathetic. For posterity: “2,750 people were injured and eight killed after handheld pagers used by Hezbollah to communicate exploded.” Early reports said someone might have used software to bombard them with messages and overheat them, but I don’t think those are battery explosions. They’re too big. And ouchy.
I don’t think Israel has taken credit yet, but everyone knows it’s Israel.
At this moment (about three hours after thousands of pagers exploded simultaneously), the story goes that when Israel assassinated the Hezbollah commander a couple of weeks ago, everyone figured his cellphone had given his location away. So the footsoldiers ditched their phones and were given brand new pagers. That somehow were intercepted on the way from the Taiwanese manufacturer to their right front pockets.
Amazing.
September 17, 2024 — 4:57 pm
Comments: 7
Who’s staying up?
The debate is like 2am my time, but I wouldn’t watch anyway. The two George Bushes finished me for live debate. After the supremely smooth Reagan, I found the stumbly mushmouth Bush style terrifying.
I suffer from painful second hand stage fright.
Though I did enjoy watching Weird Al Gore zoom up to W and demand to know if he supported Dingell-Norwood. He couldn’t have more perfectly made Bush look like a normal guy and himself a DC weirdo. (I looked it up; the actual name was Norwood-Dingell and it was a health insurance bill that failed in the Senate; but Al was so gosh-darned proud of himself for knowing that).
Anyway, I look forward to watching clips over my coffee tomorrow. They better not let me down!
Image pinched from Politi_Rican (@TheRicanMemes).
September 10, 2024 — 7:20 pm
Comments: 13
That word of all words
The memo has gone out: watch this hilarious supercut of Democrats calling JD Vance ‘weird’. I counted 54 times the word was used – all today, I guess? I meant to count how many different people were using it, but it turns out I can’t count two things at once.
Of all the words they could have chosen, you’d think that one would be their kryptonite. A huge part of their base is weird and loves being weird and loves being labeled weird and just all-around adores weird in its every permutation. The drag queens, queers, pedos and other assorted deviants probably feel a little robbed of their special word.
Meanwhile, politicians in their coalition kinda wish the weirdos would pipe down a little so they can sell their junk to voters. Weird is a word they shouldn’t want in the conversation. Weird is not their winning issue.
And JD Vance seems the least weird person in politics right now. I don’t know much about him yet – I haven’t read his book or anything – but he radiates normal guy-next-door. He seems like a softball and bowling team kind of guy. Even if he isn’t, that’s still the vibe he gives off. He’s the anti-weird.
I mean, Trump is weird. Sure. But I can think of a dozen qualities they’d have more success pinning on Vance.
Oh, hey – I just noticed I posted this yesterday: “They’re up to something and it’s something weird.” Get Nostradamus here.
p.s. Albert is still with us. He’s not much improved despite coaxing him with catfood (though he did crow up a storm this morning).
July 30, 2024 — 6:13 pm
Comments: 8
They’re up to something
There is no way they’re running the ticket they seem to be running. No way. Two weeks ago, they were admitting she was the worst of the possible candidates, polling below Biden, and now they’re cheering and waving their arms in the air. They are way, way too calm about this.
They’re up to something.
It’s unlikely to be a surprise VP pick. If they a Hillary or Big Mike, it would suck all the oxygen out of the race. It won’t be Shapiro – he’s Jewish and the base would lose their marbles. I don’t know who they can pick who wouldn’t seriously upstage their candidate.
They’re up to something and it’s something weird.
Hey, remember in 2020 when Kamala said 220 million Americans had died of covid in a few months. She said it twice. Isn’t that disqualifyingly stupid?
July 29, 2024 — 5:11 pm
Comments: 10
It seemed appropriate
All week, I’ve been craving a sloppy joe. It must be subliminal.
I made one. It was awful. You can see from the pic the meat stayed in chunks and never cooked down to a smooth ‘joe’ texture.
And it was godawful sweet. Never doing that with ketchup again. I’ve lost my taste for sweet.
So I put cheese on it.
As of this writing, nobody has heard from Joe Biden since Wednesday the 17th. He stepped down from the race on Twitter yesterday (Sunday) with a posted letter not even on official letterhead. No other sign of life. No pics, no video, no short news conference. Absolutely unprecedented.
There’s a rumor he had some kind of medical emergency last week in Vegas. Naturally followed by a rumor he’s dead. They’ll have a hard time covering their tracks if that’s true.
Oh, look – a letter from his doctor has just been posted to X. Taken his tenth dose of Paxlovid today; vital signs normal; presidenting just fine, thank you.
This has got Barack’s fingerprints all over it. He never understood American history and tradition and didn’t get how wantonly screwing with them is deeply unsettling to most Americans.
July 22, 2024 — 6:38 pm
Comments: 14
Guys! Guys! I figured out the VP pick!
He confirmed today there’s a chunk out of his ear. I think the little fella deserves a chance.
This is probably the strangest political happening of my lifetime. And I’m old.
I have soooo many questions. The shooter was a long-haired 20-year-old noodle-armed nobody with zero social media presence who lived with his parents. Oh-kay. How did he know the layout of the site, 100 miles away? How did he know there wouldn’t be law enforcement on the roof? (There should have been!). How did he carry a ladder? Was it already there?
Why wasn’t there a presence on the roof? Why didn’t the snipers spot him? How could people on the ground see him and yell about a man with a gun on the roof for five minutes without getting a reaction? What about the cop who went up the ladder, got the rifle pointed at him, and went down again? Why didn’t he duck and draw his weapon?
At the very least, someone deliberately or carelessly assigned the most incompetent possible team to the detail. Did you see that woman trying to protect Trump from the front? She came up to his collarbone. They’re supposed to shield him 100% with their bodies and that just wasn’t physically possible.
How about all those Secret Service chicks surrounding him at the car? Bunch of chubby soccer moms with ponytails. That one poor woman who couldn’t holster her sidearm – I feel bad for the flak she’s taking, but come on.
Biden’s agents look like proper sides of beef.
Well, I guess the good news is, the people responsible for this are in charge of the investigation.
July 15, 2024 — 5:23 pm
Comments: 13
That Joe Biden – what a card! Amiright?
I’ve had a hate-on for Joe Biden ever since I saw this video of him arguing with a reporter about his IQ on the campaign trail. Every claim he makes in it is false, by the way. I didn’t know that then. What I saw was my least favorite kind of asshole: a blowhard.
For the record, that was in 1988.
So I had my eye on him when he chaired the Bork and later Thomas hearings. Jonah Goldberg made the observation that I couldn’t unsee: the smile he flashed every few minutes, like a tic, as if he was giving us all a little treat.
I tried to find video of it and ended up watching enough old hearing footage to piss myself off all over again (without finding what I wanted).
Goldberg went on to say that he liked Joe Biden anyway. He always was wet. (What was his NR column called? Everyone read it back in the day)
Everything since has further cemented my impression Joe is a glib dumb guy. A liar with a nasty temper. I can’t think of another example in history of a loser failing so far upward so many times for so long.
In short, I’m thoroughly enjoying the spectacle. As Howie Carr used to say, my heart feels like an alligator.
Of course, he’s not the same Joe Biden. He’s a potato. He’s still a dumb liar with a nasty temper, but he is no longer glib.
I don’t understand why now, though. He’s looked this bad dozens of times in the last few years, why panic at one more? Pundits are saying it’s because the public pays attention to the debates and this was their first sight of it. But how do they know that? They must have some amazingly quick internal polling.
Anyway – thank you, America. I badly needed this distraction from 2024 British politics. Don’t ask.
July 9, 2024 — 7:44 pm
Comments: 5