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How to make orange man orange

For this next demonstration, I will need the use of color.

A couple of years ago, I read someone say they’d met Donald Trump and they were surprised to find he wasn’t orange at all. He was ordinary skin color. That made me go ‘hmmm’ with my Photoshop costume on.

Usually, credibly editing a portion of an image is a tedious slog, with lots of outlines and masks and feathering. But turns out making the orange man orange isn’t hard at all. Behold!

Open image. Call up the ‘hue – saturation’ slider. Choose the red channel. Slide it halfway to the right. Save. Done. Like, ten seconds.

See my sample here. I used Gimp this time because I was too lazy to fire up Photoshop, but they work the same.

A handy way to see if this has been done is to look at his tie and see if it’s super-saturated red. In my short hunt for a suitable photo, I noticed he tends to favor red ties with a slight magenta cast. You’ll see that in my sample image – the left one is slightly pinky, the altered one is red, red, red.

There’ve been some screaming pumpkin-orange Trumps on the news lately. I’d tell you I’m surprised at the media pissing away yet more credibility like this, but nah.

Have a good weekend, y’all! Go out and get some sun on your beaks, if you have any sun.

November 20, 2020 — 9:24 pm
Comments: 6

That’s some spicy kraken…

I don’t usually watch live political events. I usually find them cringe-worthy. I made an exception for the Trump legal team’s press conference. Watch it. WATCH IT.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m calling that news conference a watershed moment in American politics.

The link goes to C-SPAN. They won’t get to C-SPAN, will they?

November 19, 2020 — 8:44 pm
Comments: 14


The above is a site billing itself as the new alternative to Drudgereport: populist.press. At least, it bills itself that way if you don’t have popups blocked.

They’ve certainly mimicked the look and feel of Drudge. I found when I clicked links, though, it took me to a synopsis of the story hosted on populist.press itself. Then within that item you could click to read it on its original platform. I’m not sure why they’d do it that way – it’s more work for them, if nothing else – and it means you can’t just hover over the link to see if the article is from a source you trust.

Eh. Give it a try. I have a feeling lots of news sources will be shutting down in the days ahead.

November 16, 2020 — 8:23 pm
Comments: 7

Spain does it again

Spain’s latest civic art restoration project was brilliant as usual. Ahem.

So, after a week of using Parler, some tips.

Clicking hashtags is useful, because you won’t be following enough people at first to make it interesting. When you do click a hashtag, the first three or four entries will be busty camwhores advertising their wares. Block them or you’ll see them over and over again, guaranteed (unless you like seeing busty camwhores – who am I to judge?).

I also report them as spam because they piss me off, but I don’t know how Parler feels about that. The platform that bills itself as ‘no-censor’ may have a funny attitude about kicking anyone, even spammers.

Second, the grifters. There are a few accounts hawking Trump commemorative coins and the like. I mute those rather than block (some paid to be promoted and I suppose it helps support the platform, but they made me feel grubby).

Third, the nuts. I mute them, too. There are some goofy-ass people on Parler, as you would expect on a platform founded on Twitter rejects. I suppose some are lefty trolls trying to make righties look crazier, but we’re perfectly capable of turning out genuine right-wing nutbars, thanks.

Follow the same people you follow elsewhere, but beware counterfeit accounts – there are lots of these. Do that enough and it starts to be a little more useful.

Once you’ve done all that…it’s still too slow and lacking engagement to be a Twitter replacement. Worth having open in a tab, though, for sure. Once they absorb the newcomers and tweak their software a bit, we’ll see.

Final tip: the phone app is swifter than the Web app.

Oh, and new Dead Pool tomorrow!

November 12, 2020 — 8:08 pm
Comments: 7

Bygone days

I remember Joe Biden used to do this really irritating thing, like a tic. Whenever he was grilling anyone in a hearing, every few seconds he would bare his teeth. It was just a flash. It wasn’t really a smile – it was lopsided and sarcastic looking. He bestowed it like a gift. Once I noticed it, it drove me up a tree.

That’s from the Clarence Thomas hearings. That’s when I first became aware of and learned to loathe Uncle Joe.

Here’s another fine moment. Remember his 1988 run, when someone asked him where he went to law school and how he placed, and he fired back with a nonsensical answer about his IQ. Oh, and that thing about a scholarship was a complete lie. Joe finished near the bottom of his class.

Good times, good times. He’s not like that now, of course. He’s just a shell. Poor old man.

November 10, 2020 — 8:47 pm
Comments: 6

Sigh. Okay.

Eh. I finally got irritated enough with Twitter to sign up for Parler. The sticking point with me was giving them a phone number. And you can’t give them a fake, because they use it to send you an authentication code (every time you log in on a new device, yay).

I’m getting sick of those – the subject line is always a number, but it’s not THE number. Who thought that was a good idea?

Anyhoo. Reactions.

The controls are slightly different to Twitter, which takes some getting used to. And as you might expect from a social media company whose backbone is composed of people who got kicked off of the more mainstream platform, it’s kind of like the rejects table in the junior high cafeteria.

Been there. Comfy as an old shoe.

My main objection is that it moves too slowly. Twitter is addictive because you’re getting those fast dopamine hits every few seconds (it’s especially addictive when you get an angry hit every few seconds, but I enthusiastically avoid that particular vice).

I suspect their site is part of the problem – it needs to be tweaked to move faster. And people aren’t as active there. But I also suspect I’m not following enough people to keep it moving. If you’re on there, hit me up. Or shout out to @StoatyWeasel on the platform.

At the moment, I’m keeping Twitter AND Parler open, to make sure I never have a moment’s mental clarity.

p.s. Yes! We have a Dead Pool winner. Poor old Alex Trebek. Not the shortest on record, but short. See you Friday!

November 9, 2020 — 8:14 pm
Comments: 12

Rah! Rah!

If you want an explanation of how Trump might possibly pull a rabbit out of his ass, I can recommend Rekieta’s latest livestream.

Or, if you don’t have 3:44 to watch lawyers sniff each other’s butts, the executive summary: forget a new election. That’s never happened in the history of ever.

Recount is where it’s at. Or, more accurately, vote verification. Specifically, the mail-in votes. For example, one of the contested states (I forget which) usually rejects 14% of mail-in ballots for being incorrectly filled out or illegible. This year, they’ve rejected .1%. Getting some of the likely bullshit votes tossed could substantially change the outcome.

Or, if the reasoned discourse of m’learned friend isn’t your bag, hold this happy thought: I think all sides can agree that Trump is a thin-skinned, narcissistic, angry, litigious asshole with access to a lot of money and nothing to lose. He’ll drag this through the courts to the bitter end and either get a win (though that’s looking improbable) or, at the very least, so expose the rotten innards of the Democrat machine that they’ll have to clean up their act.

I understand Florida’s voting system since 2000 is fast, clean and slick as a whistle. Sometimes they learn.

p.s. Dead Pool tomorrow!

November 5, 2020 — 9:06 pm
Comments: 7

Well, this sucks

I’m having flashbacks to election 2000 and those stupid hanging chads. I walked around like I had the flu until they got everything worked out.

I am not looking forward to this.

November 4, 2020 — 8:46 pm
Comments: 13

Here we go…

Phew! They had me worried! I mailed my vote in ages ago and it didn’t turn up, didn’t turn up. Finally, there it is, registered yesterday. I suspect Tennessee doesn’t count them as soon as they come in.

So that’s me. Tennessee is a pretty solidly red state but, hey, for decades I turned up to vote in the bluest of the blue states, election after election, and didn’t consider my effort wasted.

I suspect it’ll be tomorrow morning my time, at the earliest, before we know anything. But that won’t stop me hanging out on Twitter making myself crazy into the wee hours. Feel free to hang out with me: @sweasel.

November 3, 2020 — 7:20 pm
Comments: 10


Lookee what I got!

Kanye’s on the ballot! I thought he’d failed to qualify somehow (lack of signatures?). There’s, like, TWENTY people up for president.

A hunnert and ninety-two little ovals to choose from. It’s like an IQ test. I mean, thanks I guess, Tennessee…but are you sure you know your electorate?

Also, it says no postage necessary in the US, but I’m not *in* the US. That’s the whole freaking point.

I’ll put postage on it. I always do. I want to be sure.

Voting for Ye, obviously.

p.s. and have a small but leonine cat.



October 20, 2020 — 8:10 pm
Comments: 16