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Dead Pool Round 154: we’re havin’ a heat wave

Gebrauchshund pulled a sneaky-sneak and picked Shinzo Abe – as it happens, about four hours before the man was declared dead. This, in Weasel’s Dead Pool milieu, is a perfectly cromulent strategy. Congratz!

From what I’ve read of Shinzo Abe since his assassination, he was one of the few world leaders kicking back against the globalist juggernaut.

Hmmmmmmmm.

Are we ready to dabble in the dark side? Then let’s begin.

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

July 15, 2022 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 69

Terrarium!

We’ve had this old, empty terrarium kicking around for years. Uncle B’s mum gave it to him. I’ve always wanted to plant it up, the problem is…I have a purple thumb.

That’s what my mother told me, anyway: everything I touch dies. That’s not really fair – someone used my cucumbers to put out a greenhouse fire. They were doing fine before that. After the incident, I lost the will to horticulture.

Plucking up my courage, I decided to give it a shot. Looking into it, though, you need a little of a lot of things – soil, gravel, charcoal. I gave up and bought a terrarium kit on Etsy.

I think Uncle B, talented plantsman and keen gardener, is a little disgusted with me. You pay *way* over the odds for everything when you do it this way. But I had it all parceled out for me, just right – see above – including four nice little plants.

And moss! I love moss.

I’ve planted everything up. When everything settles in, I’ll take an ‘after’ picture for you. Unless it all dies…then you’ll never hear a word about it again.


Tomorrow. Six WBT. DEAD POOL ROUND 154.

July 14, 2022 — 4:28 pm
Comments: 11

Hut!

Behold, the most famous hut in Sussex. It’s a little black hut with a red corrugated iron roof and it’s an absolute favorite of artists, photographers, journalists and other assorted blackguards. You find it on cards and postcards all over. I have no idea why.

It was indeed in the mid-80s today, so Uncle B decided we should go for a long walk. That thing about mad dogs and Englishmen? True.

We went to the Rye Harbour Nature Reserve. We haven’t been since before the lockdown. It’s kind of a trek for us, but it’s a long walk by the sea (with a famous hut on it). It’s always cooler by the water.

Here it is in color. If you look way down the path, you can make out not one but two WWII era cement pillboxes built to fend off Mr Hitler. One on either side. The Brits always assumed the Germans would land here first and, after the war when they uncovered the documents, that was indeed the plan.

Always Sussex.

July 13, 2022 — 7:53 pm
Comments: 9

Smile!

Another pair from the reclamation yard. These are examples that I don’t think are very old.

Or, to be more exact, I think someone has gotten hold of some good antique molds and have made casts, unfortunately with crude embellishments. I see two different hands at work here.

The overall modelling is good and looks antique, but – you may not be able to see this very well in the small image – some mook has made rough clay worms and stuck them on the arms to mimic veins. Also, he’s scratched shallow lines in the abdomen to indicate a six pack.

Shoulda left it be.

Sorry to fob you off with a picture from last week, but I’ve had an exceptionally silly day. It is now officially gin o’clock.

July 12, 2022 — 8:11 pm
Comments: 8

Oh noes!

From the article:

The Met Office have issued a rare amber weather warning for extreme heat as scorching temperatures over 30C continue to hit much of the UK. The warning is in place on Sunday, July 17, with potential “danger to life”.

It will come into place at midnight on Sunday and will end at 11.59pm the same day. However, the Met Office have said that an update to extend the warning into Monday, July 18, is “likely.”

It covers much of the UK heading as far north as North Yorkshire and East towards Devon. The entirety of Sussex comes under the warning’s boundaries.

The warning mentions “population-wide adverse health effects” which are not limited solely to the vulnerable. People are urged to only call 999 in an emergency with those requiring non-emergency advice urged to call 111.

To be fair, most Brits know this is stupid. It’s ordinary Summer weather, even here. We get about a week of it every year. Two, if we’re lucky. But it’s all part of the ZOMG THIS IS THE HOTTEST DAY EVER THEPLANETISONFIRE!

The actual forecast? I’ll put it in the first comment.

Pff! Yes, really.

July 11, 2022 — 6:21 pm
Comments: 17

The Judgement of Weasel

Gebrauchshund nipped in and took Shinzo Abe at the last moment. Having ascertained the moment Abe was pronounced dead (5:03pm his local time) and gebrauchshund’s pick (6:57am WBT), and noting the time difference between England and Japan, I calculated that…hahaha, just kidding. Working out time differences makes weasels cry. I took a wild-assed guess and am declaring the Dead Pool won.

However, given the late hour, I will not publish a new Dead Pool until next Friday. There has to be enough time for excitement to build. So, get building already!

So let it be written, so let it be done. Have a great weekend, everyone!

July 8, 2022 — 5:06 pm
Comments: 10

Floor porn

In yesterday’s thread, BJM posted a link to these engineered recycled wood planks. And very lovely they are, too, but not quite right for Badger House. Everything in this house looks like it was gnawed into its present shape by woodland creatures and then left in the rain for 100 years.

There’s not a large enough area of floor showing upstairs to demonstrate what I mean. I tried to find something similar online and found the mother of all floor porn sites. Look at that parquet!

Each floor is a one-off project, and takes on average 6-9 months from first enquiry to completion. We only take on 5-6 projects per year.

No, we are not in that bracket. That is rockstar money. That is Henry VIII money. We’re hoping for a hod of old bricks and lad who is clever with his hands.


Boris has fallen. I’m not a fan – he was a pretty awful PM – but his hounding out was clearly a media-orchestrated coup. And the lot mostly likely to vie for his job are a dreadful pack of globalists, remainers, greenies and people who think some women have dicks.

I despair.

July 7, 2022 — 5:54 pm
Comments: 5

There were three of them. Yes, they have cloven hooves.

We went to the reclamation yard again today. We’re desperate to do something different with the floor in the living room. It was originally terra cotta tile (we were told) but it’s now cheap carpet over chipboard.

White cheap carpet. Or it was once. Ew.

We’re looking at brick or tile. Maybe wood, but only if we can get reclaimed wood that looks old.

I mean, of course we can get it. You can get anything at the reclamation yard. It’s whether we can afford it. (Drew Pritchard has a lot to answer for).

As for these cheeky chaps – no way to tell how old they are. Quite a few of the things we saw were made recently. In fact, they specialize in making furniture and remodeling kitchens using reclaimed materials.

Boris’ government continues to implode. More cabinet misters have resigned. No, I can’t tell you what will happen next. He might even survive.

And if you don’t know what’s going on with Dutch farmers, it’s amazing. You’ll have to go to social media to find out more, though. They have a tank now!

July 6, 2022 — 7:42 pm
Comments: 13

The Year of the Pigeon

Excuse me if I’m bleary; we were startled awake in the wee hours by a pigeon. Pigeons. There was a lot of flapping and hoo-hooing.

It was so loud, I was sure it was a bird loose in the bedroom, but it warn’t. It was perched by an open window making a terrific racket.

Might have been multiple pigeons. Was probably sex-motivated.

Zo! In the last hour, two senior members of the Cabinet – the Secretary of State for Health & Social Care and the Chancellor of the Exchequer – have resigned. The is big and important, but I’m damned if I can tell you what it means.

An immediate coup? Maybe. Or maybe they’re distancing themselves in case of a coup in the near future.

What can I say? I am, after all, a ferriner. I can only tell you this has been a dreadful government and more dreadful people still are waiting in the shadows.

Doooooom!

July 5, 2022 — 6:49 pm
Comments: 12

Happy Independence Day, ‘Mericans!

I’ll bet you all had the day off.

Brits have been nice about it, actually. Everyone’s wished me a happy Fourth. Somebody asked if we were going to have turkey tonight, which tickled me. Like the only thing Americans can think to do on our special holidays is eat turkey. I think that might be the same person who asked if we give each other Thanksgiving Day cards.

We’re having hamburgers and beer tonight. That’s as much America as I have the energy for today. Hope you’re having a great one!

July 4, 2022 — 7:11 pm
Comments: 6