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Round 31: I think I got the count right, finally (thanks, Rich!)

Steve is our first ever Triple Dick Winner, taking the puddings with Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi. Another excellent choice, sir, and well deserving of dick. Except, I can’t remember if Steve accepts his dicks (believe it or not, not everyone does).

Okay, here we go. First contest of the long, hot Summer of Dick:

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

What do we want? Aunty’s dick! When do we want it? Eventually!


Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:02 pm

Sticking with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:02 pm

I hear Elton John was admitted to hospital recently, so I’m going with him this time. Besides, he’d like knowing that Dick was a prize for his death.

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:03 pm

The great and (oh please, oh please!) late Zsa Zsa Gabor!

Comment from Fawn
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:04 pm

As Mr. Gibb failed to come through for all the dick in a timely manner, hopefully Tony Martin (crooner) will have the courtesy to do so.

Comment from tawny
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:04 pm

Hugo Chavez

Comment from CheshireLion
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:05 pm

Zsa Zsa Gabor
I hear she leaning toward the grave.

Comment from Eirik
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:06 pm

Robert Mugabe

Comment from dustoffmom
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:06 pm

Nancy reagan

Comment from CheshireLion
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:07 pm

zsa zsa spoken for I see —

Well then…. Billy Graham

Comment from David Gillies
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:08 pm

More in hope than expectation: Gordon Brown.

And CheshireLion, AltBBrown already has Zsa Zsa.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:08 pm


Comment from Pablo
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:10 pm

Hosni Mubarak!

Comment from steve
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:11 pm

Fidel – for the Fourtuplet of Dicks

Comment from Janna
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:31 pm

jimmy carter

Comment from docitburnswhenipost
Time: May 25, 2012, 6:33 pm

Lynyrd Skynyrd guitarist Ed King. Dunno, his name just popped into my head.

Comment from little, little
Time: May 25, 2012, 7:04 pm

I heard Doc Watson had a bad fall. Hope he recovers.

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: May 25, 2012, 7:11 pm

Brett Kimberlin

A dick for a dick.


Subotai Bahadur

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: May 25, 2012, 7:22 pm

Sticking hopefully with David Rockefeller, the mother of all banksters.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 25, 2012, 7:26 pm

I was hoping someone would pick Brett Kimberlin. I’m not in on the blogburst thanks to the Pool and the not-paying-attention-in-class thing.

And let the record show Mrs Compton chose Maggie Thatcher (in case a later claimant thinks “Mags” is insufficiently claimy). She always picks Maggie. I bet she’ll be sad when she eventually wins a dick for it, though.

Comment from Potato Bandit
Time: May 25, 2012, 7:39 pm

Chuck Berry

Comment from rustbucket
Time: May 25, 2012, 7:44 pm

Betty White

Comment from StPatrick_TN
Time: May 25, 2012, 7:49 pm

Ayatollah Khameini

Comment from Gromulin
Time: May 25, 2012, 8:30 pm

Kirk Douglas

Comment from Clifford Skridlow
Time: May 25, 2012, 8:31 pm

Dang, you take a short nap and all the good picks get shatched up. I’ll go with Saif al-Islam Gaddafi, spawn of Big Mo.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 25, 2012, 8:42 pm

Good Ol’ Clint Eastwood.

Comment from ZooomZooom
Time: May 25, 2012, 8:54 pm

John Edwards…….and I am betting by his own hand…..

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: May 25, 2012, 9:03 pm

My pick is Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus because it seems his death may have been prophesied by Nostradamus.

Comment from zimmermanfan
Time: May 25, 2012, 9:04 pm

Let’s see…. broke, living at Momma’s house…..

“Ricky Hollywood”……..eaten by a mamma grizzly would be just spiffy.


Comment from RealMc
Time: May 25, 2012, 9:07 pm

Kirk Douglas…….. (if he is still alive)…..

Comment from Oh Hell
Time: May 25, 2012, 9:09 pm

Damn, and double damn, A.T. beat me to Elton John…
so I’ll have to go back to Eric Holder, slowly, by a Mexican gerbil with a F&F “assault rifle”….

Comment from JeffS
Time: May 25, 2012, 9:09 pm

Fidel Castro.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: May 25, 2012, 9:18 pm

Sticking with very musical and very old:

Magda Olivero, 102 year old soprano.

(The local classical station did a retrospective on her the other day.) She had a 50 year career, and debuted at the Met in Tosca at the age of 65.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: May 25, 2012, 9:19 pm

Ayman al-Zawahiri, hopefully by rain of death from above, silently, stealthily, and leaving just enough bits to ascertain the DNA is his.
I hope the drone is named “Pig Death.” Suits him!

Comment from smedleythebarbarian
Time: May 25, 2012, 9:46 pm

Mickey Rooney

Comment from Grizzly
Time: May 25, 2012, 9:53 pm

Ernest Borgnine

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: May 25, 2012, 9:54 pm

Tony Bennett

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: May 25, 2012, 9:58 pm

I hate to say it, but I don’t think the Pakistani doctor who assisted us in DXing Bin Laden is going to last long, once he’s put in prison.

Dr. Shakil Afridi

A pox on that tool, Panetta.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: May 25, 2012, 10:03 pm

Mohamed Ali, that Parkinson’s got to get him one of these days

Comment from PatAZ
Time: May 25, 2012, 10:21 pm

Hairy Reed. Please.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: May 25, 2012, 10:24 pm

As per the usual programme, Li’l Red Apparatchik Janey Fonda – maybe on a Honda? With ‘er buddy Rhonda?…

(Dang…what with all these positive efforts with the negative vibes, she’s gotta go sometime, right? So – why not now?)

Comment from Gulliblepratt
Time: May 25, 2012, 10:27 pm

Prince Philip
As he tries to mount “ol bess”
For a final Jubilee ride.

Comment from Spad 13
Time: May 25, 2012, 10:33 pm

Dan Rather

Comment from Ben
Time: May 25, 2012, 10:40 pm

Trying for William Shatner, again…

Comment from bigsmarthuman
Time: May 25, 2012, 10:49 pm

Pete Seeger.

Comment from m
Time: May 25, 2012, 10:53 pm

Harry Belafonte

Comment from reaper
Time: May 25, 2012, 11:06 pm

I can hear his name being called. Billy Graham

Comment from RushBabe
Time: May 25, 2012, 11:57 pm

Once more into the breach: John Dingell,(D)emoncrap, MI, most famous for his statement about herding “the people” into Utopia as well as taking up space in Congress for 45 more years than he should have.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: May 25, 2012, 11:59 pm

reaper — CheshireLion beat you to it, close to the top. You’ll need to point your scythe at another favorable possibility.

Comment from BJ
Time: May 26, 2012, 12:04 am

Either of the De Havilland sisters; Olivia (96) or Joan (95.

Comment from Sven in Colorado
Time: May 26, 2012, 12:29 am

RealMc, sorry to tell you, but Gromulin beat you to the Dick with Kirk Douglas.

Tony Martin – One of me Mum’s favorite singers. Sticking with the Italian flavor, I will NOT choose Andy Williams…..(WTF?!?!?)

OTAY! — I am going to put another spin on the Italian crooners: I see Tony Bennett, one foggy, soggy, San Francisco afternoon in the Embarcadero downed by a five pound Salami Secchi to that great Schnozz of his!!!!

Comment from USCitizen
Time: May 26, 2012, 12:54 am

Pete Townsend, from The Who cannot live forever.

In fact, “I hope I die before I get old.” may be a Pete Townsend lyric. Unless it is a Roger Daltry lyric.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: May 26, 2012, 12:58 am

I’m sticking with Charlie Sheen, in the pool, with the coke spoon.

Comment from Vinnie Mc
Time: May 26, 2012, 1:19 am

Kim Jong-un in a terrible accident where a general asks him to check the tire pressure on a tank tread

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: May 26, 2012, 1:42 am

I bet she’ll be sad when she eventually wins a dick for it, though.”

I bet we’ll all be sad!! Since I never win anything I feel I’m personally responsible for keeping her alive all this time!

Comment from xul
Time: May 26, 2012, 2:03 am

Ray Harryhausen

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: May 26, 2012, 2:09 am

Leonard Nemoy. I like the guy, but DAMN, does he look tired…

Comment from the fella what is called sandman and such like
Time: May 26, 2012, 2:12 am

subotai beat me to it but…

I’m wishing Biblical Plague Level ill on and against Brett Kimberlin and his buttboys, Neal Rauhauser and Ron Brynaert and their pet scrunt, Nadia Naffe.

I usually say something snarky.

I wish death on any combination of these, and all if possible. To cleanse the Earth of their shiite-stained presence.

Sandman is not in a pleasant mood.

Comment from the fella what is called sandman and such like
Time: May 26, 2012, 2:18 am


*shrugs* Couldn’t help myself.

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: May 26, 2012, 2:19 am

Nelson Mandela for the dick.

Comment from Davem123
Time: May 26, 2012, 3:05 am

I’ll go with Calypso Louie. O’Bama would likely attend the funeral, but the thought of Sheriff Biden (with his affinity for clean and articulate people of color) saying a few words over the corpse is rife with comedic possibility.

Comment from Catnip
Time: May 26, 2012, 3:50 am

Pauline Phillips (Dear Abby)

Comment from Mija Cat
Time: May 26, 2012, 4:31 am

The increasingly-unwell-looking George H.W. Bush.


Comment from naleta
Time: May 26, 2012, 5:36 am

Michael Moore again! Yay, I got him this time around. 😉

Comment from Mike C.
Time: May 26, 2012, 9:07 am

Ray Bradbury.

Comment from RealMc
Time: May 26, 2012, 12:34 pm

I hope I lose.

Nancy Reagan. and my I lose to whomever picks nancy pelosi.

Comment from thefritz
Time: May 26, 2012, 12:55 pm

Sun Myung Moon. I don’t know why I wish him ill, he never did anything to me. I just like saying the word myung.

Comment from Joan of Argghh!
Time: May 26, 2012, 12:56 pm

Assad. He’s not muslim enough for his surroundings.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: May 26, 2012, 1:05 pm

Yosemite Sam

Comment from S2
Time: May 26, 2012, 1:36 pm

Irwin Corey. 97 years old and panhandling for charity. he’s gonna get mugged, or hit by a car.

Comment from JC
Time: May 26, 2012, 1:51 pm

Once again, international man of history, Jacques Barzun. Posted from his adopted hometown of San Antonio Texas byGod.

Comment from platypuss
Time: May 26, 2012, 2:34 pm

blast from the past, ole panamanian pineapple face hisself, Manuel Noriega.

Comment from huerfano
Time: May 26, 2012, 5:43 pm

Rotten old scrunt, Rosalynn Carter.

Comment from mandel bread
Time: May 26, 2012, 6:38 pm

Al Molinaro

Comment from Elphaba
Time: May 26, 2012, 7:03 pm

Bill Maher…if I may borrow an apropos phrase from Subotai Bahadur, a dick for a(nother) dick.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: May 26, 2012, 7:38 pm

S2: Irwin Corey. 97 years old and panhandling for charity.

Panhandling for Castro.

He’s a fanatical Red, living in a $3M converted coach house decorated with autographed pictures of Fidel.

Comment from The War Planner
Time: May 26, 2012, 10:08 pm

I steadfastly refuse to play until I am officially recognized as the instigator of this concept on your web site. (Check your archives.) Also, if you fail to do so, I shall block you on Twitter.

Comment from The War Planner
Time: May 26, 2012, 10:12 pm

..oh hell, Charles Manson.

Comment from unkawill
Time: May 26, 2012, 10:15 pm

abe vigoda

Comment from the fella what is called sandman and such like
Time: May 27, 2012, 1:01 am

The War Planner, check your keester, bub…cause you come off like a, um,well, a dick. Check your six.

You smell of dickstain. and not terribly funny. just so’s you know.

Comment from MIke O
Time: May 27, 2012, 4:43 am

Margaret Thatcher, although I hope I’m wrong.

Comment from Oceania
Time: May 27, 2012, 7:39 am

I am going to choose – the Northern Hemisphere!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 27, 2012, 10:20 am

You’ve got to point me to the incident, WarPlanner. I went back in time and looked at posts around the first Dead Pool and I can’t see what you’re talking about. Rotten memory, I’ve got (thank you, drug-addled youth!).

Oh, Maggie’s long took, Mike. Mrs C always takes the Magon, and she has the Dead Pool on speed dial.

Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: May 27, 2012, 11:50 am

I wanted Elton John, but I’m late. So Ronnie Biggs.

Comment from Sven in Colorado
Time: May 27, 2012, 1:07 pm

Dang – weaslewannabe posted Tony Bennett before I did.

Back to Andy Williams.

Comment from RealMc
Time: May 27, 2012, 1:37 pm

Dang it somebody beat me to Nancy Reagan so now I hope he loses too…… on to another candidate, alas but whom…..

Comment from RealMc
Time: May 27, 2012, 1:38 pm


Al Sharpton……..but not for the reasons he would spew.

Comment from Montenegro
Time: May 27, 2012, 3:09 pm

Lee Majors of six million dollar man fame!

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: May 27, 2012, 3:36 pm

Ramsey Clark please join the Choir Eternal.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: May 27, 2012, 6:37 pm

Someone has U2 playing softly in the background, so I’m putting in my hopeful vote for Bono (Paul David Hewson) to die of some horrible condition brought on by a massivly bloated ego.

Comment from James the lesser
Time: May 28, 2012, 1:07 am

Jerry Brown. He looks tired.

Comment from Amiable Dorsai
Time: May 29, 2012, 1:00 pm

Mikhail Kalashnikov. It’s time.

Comment from Mija Cat
Time: May 29, 2012, 5:56 pm

Can I change mine to boxer Johnny Tap… nevermind.



Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: May 29, 2012, 11:16 pm

More research results… posted to the summary thread. (List of winners post)

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: May 30, 2012, 12:50 am

Doc Watson, rest in peace.

Does that mean little little takes it?

Comment from Kansas Gman
Time: May 30, 2012, 1:45 am

Mr. T

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: May 30, 2012, 2:14 am

Olivia de Havilland.

If only she’d attended one of our Little Big Horn Associates conferences…dressed as Libbie Custer of course.

Comment from little, little
Time: May 30, 2012, 2:22 am

Having never taken a dick in any sort of contest, I figured my note on Doc’s recent misfortune could only bode well for his recovery. You cannot imagine my dismay upon hearing the news. Doc was an inspiration to me and spurred me to improve my own guitar skills over 40 years ago with his version of Tom Paxton’s “Last Thing on my Mind.” And indeed, winning the dick was the last thing on my mind.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: May 30, 2012, 3:35 am

Sometimes the winning entry in this pool is someone I’m glad to see go, but not this time. Oh, no.

Doc, you were terrific and an inspiration to guitar players all over the world and for decades. Thanks for being a fine artist and a gentleman. Your music will live forever.

Comment from Kansas Gman
Time: May 30, 2012, 5:52 am

Interested to see what the official Dead Pool ruling will be on little, little’s selection/non-selection.

On one hand, there was no literal indication that Doc Watson was being selected.

On the other hand, dropping a name in a Dead Pool while not making another selection could be construed as the pick. I mean, why else do people visit this feature of the blog?

Maybe a “Rule 9” is needed to clarify what constitues an actual selection. Like writing “Final Answer” after the pick or something….

Judge Weasel…what is your ruling?

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: May 30, 2012, 11:34 am

As much as I regret going dickless once again and m’lady Sweasel’s loss of dick not resulting in my gain, can’t see any option other than a default win for little. He put the name up here 1st with no other pick, no matter the phrasing of the post.
If little had only said, “I heard Doc Watson fell” without a compassionate afterthought, there’d not be this discussion.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 30, 2012, 11:46 am

Oh, I think we’ll call Round 31 over and start afresh day after tomorrow. Shoot me an address if you want the dick, little little. Guilt free – the Pool is not a grudge thread.

Earl and now Doc. Two giants. I am unutterably saddened.

Comment from little, little
Time: May 30, 2012, 4:12 pm

I want no part of that dick. If it will save everyone the bother, I will disqualify myself and let Round 31 continue until a celebrated asshole bites the dust.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 30, 2012, 5:01 pm

Aw, don’t take it like that, little, little. Lots of picks are people we hate to see go. It’s not a death wish, it’s an assessment of probability.

We’ll go ahead with Round 32 on Friday regardless. This upcoming weekend is the Queen’s Jubilee, and I’ve been distracted this week trying to get it together. I’m grateful for an easy post for Friday.

Well, yes, matter of fact…I AM on the parish committee.

Comment from Kansas Gman
Time: May 30, 2012, 5:28 pm

Judge Weasel has ruled.

Congratulations to little, little on taking the dick!

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: May 30, 2012, 5:34 pm

Little, little:
Doc would want you to take the dick and enjoy it. He was a gentleman, the class of which is way less common today.
You won fair & square.

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Time: July 17, 2013, 4:47 pm

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Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: July 17, 2013, 8:03 pm

Comment from visa for vietnam
Time: July 17, 2013, 4:47 pm

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Try sucking it out of a septic pumpin’ truck?

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