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Proofing copy tonight. Ugh. I’m sort of the academic version of the rag picker; I scratch a living sifting through the intellectual debris of my betters.

I snatched this picture from a Google Images search of “proofing copy.” I think I was drawn to the juxtaposition of the words “the floor” and “unhygienic.”

Check out the nails on that chick. My nails do not look like that. In fact, I’d be willing to bet the set of women who proof copy for a living and the set of women who have huge long acrylic fingernails do not much overlap in real life.

Anyway, poor Nancy Reagan, eh? Expresso Bold takes dick again (how many times is this?). I apologize: I am remiss in my dicking. There aren’t many of you still waiting but, owing to the unusual length of a few rounds, those that are waiting have been waiting a long time.

So, you know the drill. Back here Friday 6WBT. Dead Pool Round 84.


Comment from Pupster
Time: March 7, 2016, 11:40 pm

I don’t expect dick.

Dick is just what happens.

Comment from Skandia Recluse
Time: March 8, 2016, 1:15 am

Half comatose, and just returned to consciousness, an idle right click and search by image produces ‘Grammarly’ (FREE) online proofreader service (It’s FREE!) and I wonder; “What would happen if I feed it one of my shorter books?”

What could go wrong? It’s the Internet.

Now I’m going to wander the house in dazed confusion; should I? Shouldn’t I? What to do…what to do. Oh the agony of indecision. He said ruefully.

It’s probably a blood sugar crash after two bowls of “KaBOOM” Cereal.

Comment from Skandia Recluse
Time: March 8, 2016, 1:31 am

Upon further review, Grammarly is not ‘free’ but there is a ‘free trial period’ with a terms and conditions.

And it is a Google Chrome extension. Well, there is a Google Chrome extension for Google Chrome, so that is what you get when you browse the web with Chrome.

And however cheap it might be, I can’t afford it.

Ok, maybe I could try it once. The pirates already have my first book. But there are explicit directions on how to deactivate your paid account.

I should not be making decisions when I am in this low blood sugar mental state.

And so, and there fore.. It will be expunged.

Google Chrome already has a pretty good spell checker and simple grammar checker.

I’m sure all y’all really wanted to know this.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: March 8, 2016, 2:07 am

Google crow mass nope rob lemon reed in disc rap.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: March 8, 2016, 2:17 am

I hate to tell you what my first words were when I discovered that Dear Nancy had passed. I felt just awful and had to ask forgiveness.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: March 8, 2016, 2:46 am

Every now and then I’m amazed at what some women with long nails do, and do well. My first guitar teacher, a lady named Nélida Cordero of Buenos Aires, had nails so long that there were divots a quarter inch deep in her fingerboard. Then my high school typing teacher could machine-gun error-free copy at close to 100 wpm with hawk talon nails – and this was on a manual.

Comment from P2
Time: March 8, 2016, 3:32 am

stoaty, ya oughta consider giving dick clusters for multiple wins, kinda like the us military gives out oak leaf clusters for subsquent awards of the same medal. hafta be eadier than a whole new dick drawing on elephant shit paper ( coz ya dont have fairy shit paper)……

Comment from Can’t Hark My Cry
Time: March 8, 2016, 12:26 pm

Skandia Recluse, you made the right decision. The copy-editing/proofreading function just can’t be performed by a program (yet–I’ll allow for the possibility that someday …) I have amused myself in the past feeding good writers’ work into the free Grammarly engine–it gave The Gettysburg Address something like 44 out of a possible 100. Then the creators got smart and added a “detect plagiarism” component. So I created a piece of utter nonsense that nonetheless got high marks from Grammarly because it met /their/ rules for grammatical correctness–even though it wasn’t even actually breaking the rules they thought they were applying.

You are far better off using alpha and beta readers with good language skills.

Comment from peacelovewoodstock
Time: March 8, 2016, 12:37 pm

Luv the title of this post, very “meta” !

Comment from drew458
Time: March 8, 2016, 9:37 pm

I’ve only been waiting 19 months for Joan Rivers. Who has the record for the longest?

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: March 8, 2016, 10:08 pm

@drew458 – I don’t understand…Joan Rivers died September 4, 2014. Have you been waiting for her to return from the grave?

Comment from drew458
Time: March 8, 2016, 10:25 pm

No, just for the dick for picking her.

Comment from Skandia Recluse
Time: March 8, 2016, 10:36 pm

Can’t Hark
Thanks for that.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: March 9, 2016, 12:13 am

Ah. Sorry, drew458, for my remarkably thought-free misunderstanding!

Comment from drew458
Time: March 10, 2016, 10:24 pm

My fault Uncle B. I was being slightly obtuse, dangling the bait for another classic and obvious dick joke.

Two guys standing on a dock, peeing into the lake.
“This water’s really cold!”
“And deep.”

Uh oh, I said “dangling the bait”.

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