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Turn, turn, turn

Could it be…? Is our long national nightmare…or, at any rate, my own personal hand-flappy drama…coming at last to an end? My buyer and his entire extended family came back this morning for a second look (“what was that, a family reunion?” my neighbor asked when I got home) and the verdict is…yes. Yes, Weasel. Yes, I believe I shall bend you over your tacky linoleum countertops and have my way (really, I can’t think of any description for the deal I’m getting that doesn’t involve the words “ass” and “raping”).

Still…if all goes according to plan, I shall be walking away from Stoat Acres on November the 25th, a poorer but a…poorer mustelid.

And then the fun REALLY begins.


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: September 27, 2008, 11:54 am

Yay for emigrating! But boo for ass-raping.

Time to update your graphic, or do you want to wait until everything is in writing?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 27, 2008, 11:58 am

Hahaha…that ought to be a t-shirt, Mrs P.

Yup…just going to update now. Boy, have I got a NOT VERY FUN two months ahead of me.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 27, 2008, 12:13 pm

Best spam of the day:

This website is very nice and colorful too. Its nice to have something to show others where you attend church and to show all the smiling people filled of the goodness of the Lord. You have a wonderful website here. May God rich bless you always.

Colorful. Riiiiiight.

Comment from Allen
Time: September 27, 2008, 12:50 pm

Church? Holy Mustelids, Batman. Then again I suppose you could consider being trapped by Akismet a form of purgatory.

Does this mean we’re some form of cult? I’m trying to wrap my head around what that might entail.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 27, 2008, 1:33 pm

I’m not sure, but the sacraments are aged in the cask for a minimum of ten years.

Yeah. I’ve just realized I’ve got a big bottle of Jack Daniel’s and a whole liter of Glenmorangie I have to consume, and only two months to consume it in. Phew! I better get drinkin’!

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: September 27, 2008, 1:47 pm

The last time I went to church – which I admit was a very, very long time ago – the congregation sat, uncomfortably, sang hymns and listened to some guy in a cloak talk about some dead Jewish hippy. According to that spam, they sit there and browse the intertubes now. I wonder what other wacky shit they get up to in church these days?

Congratulations on your good news Weas. At this rate, you’ll get here before the country is completely destroyed. Joy!

Comment from XBradTC
Time: September 27, 2008, 2:49 pm

Eh, my church does the occasional powerpoint slide show with pictures from various missions, but I don’t recall ever surfing the web in church. If they do, I’ll recommend this place or AoSHQ. That should liven things up.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: September 27, 2008, 5:38 pm

“a big bottle of Jack Daniel’s and a whole liter of Glenmorangie I have to consume”

Pace yourself weasey. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

I’m glad you were able to find a buyer, and even though you had to throw in a new boiler and sacrifice your squeak-hole, the rest of the master plan is out of limbo and barreling toward fruition.


Comment from Pupster
Time: September 27, 2008, 5:40 pm


I think I lost my cookies. Or ate them.

Comment from scubafreak
Time: September 27, 2008, 6:20 pm

Well Stoatie,do the closing at a nice restaraunt. If ou are going to get ass-raped, they can at least buy you dinner first……

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: September 27, 2008, 6:35 pm

Weas! I just get back on-line and what do I read?….that you’re selling and moving!!


Comment from LemurKing
Time: September 27, 2008, 7:11 pm

McGoo? My sainted aunt. Is that MCGOO?

Somebody pinch me. I’m dreaming. Could the goth-baiting purveyor of fine smut actually be romping through the halls of the moronosphere?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 27, 2008, 7:36 pm

MCGOO! Duuuude! DUUUUUUDE!!! Just got your email! Welcome back to the innernets!!! They just weren’t the same without you. (And to think, you only had to fork out a bzillion dollars and build a giant tower).

Nice restaurant. Check. Workin’ on it, Scuba.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: September 27, 2008, 8:10 pm

Aha! McGoo, old chap! Welcome back to the madhouse!

Thought you were going to have to launch your own damned satellite, for a while.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: September 27, 2008, 8:21 pm

Badger! I was about out of options when the tower thing came about. It was getting serious…

I still need to catch up on Weasel house-selling activity. Last I heard (July 8th or so) the market sucked mightily and there was nearly, perhaps, possibly almost one nibble on the sale, i.e. none.

Selling, with being personally violated a distinct possibility, is stressful. Watch out, Weaz!

Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: September 27, 2008, 8:40 pm

Glad you’re back, McGoo!

Comment from Anonymous
Time: September 27, 2008, 8:41 pm

Who is this McGoo fellow? 🙂

Damn glad to see you again McGoo. I was ‘sposed to go to the mountains but I got sidetracked. Barbecue at the neighbor’s place.

Hey, I have a date for the BBQ. She made me a rattlesnake skin hatband for my “formal” black cowboy hat. Sarahcuda, pfffttt.

I may be in trouble, me horses answer to her.

Dammit Allen, you’re an idjit (Anonymous)

Comment from Amos
Time: September 27, 2008, 8:53 pm


Seriously, I don’t know the specifics of your situation, but it looks to me like you’re about to sell at the absolute worst time. You sell when the market is up, not at the exact moment it craters, it sounds to me like the people who are about to buy your home are rubbing their hands in glee, “another sucker selling in the trough!” They are buying and acquiring assets at the RIGHT time, when the gazelles are panic selling the lions are buying up. When the housing market stabilizes THEY’LL get your hard-won equity.

Seriously, consider renting out the place, going to the UK as you planned and holding on to that asset, now is exactly the wrong time to be dumping it. You say 60 grand has vanished off your house, well guess what? In 3 years or so 40 could be back. In the long term the market rises. In the mean time it could be a rental property.

I DON’T know your situation, but there has to be something smarter you can do than this. You don’t have to get ass raped.

Comment from BGG
Time: September 27, 2008, 9:24 pm

Yes but did you really lose? If I sold today I would not get what I would have a couple of years ago but I’d still get a good deal more than I paid in 2003. And if you do still lose, well what really is the price of a badger?

Comment from Mcgyver
Time: September 28, 2008, 12:37 am

Ms Weasel – I do feel for you… we just are now closing on the sale of our place in the Metro StL area… and we aren’t even getting a reacharound. Howsomeever, the notkid and I are going up to look at 40 acres w/creek and spring up in the rockies in the am, after lunch we are hunting sharptails. Despite the $$$ lost, we are happy here in Montana (where MEN are MEN and wimmen can smell’em a mile away) now that we are out of that uhmm locale. Good luck with the move (fingers crossed and all that)

McGyver, Out

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 28, 2008, 3:45 am

Eh. Amos. I’ve done the sums six ways to Sunday. This is a project we’ve been working on (no kidding) since 1997. I looked into rental early on; not really an option for a bunch of reasons. Yes, this is the worst possible time to sell, but I reckon it’ll be several years before things bounce back to the overheated, unrealistic prices they were at eighteen months ago. A year from now things will probably be a bit better, but Uncle B and I are into the “a wasted year is no joke” territory. Especially since I’ve got to master a new career in a new country.

Look at it this way: we lucked out and sold the house in London at the peak of the market. London at the top of the market plus Providence at the bottom of the market = profit.

Or look at it this way: any closing where the seller doesn’t have to write a check isn’t really an ass-raping.

Nah, I’m happy. Very happy.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: September 28, 2008, 6:26 am


I love your positive, upbeat answer, Weasel! I didn’t want this to be an unhappy time for you.

Damned right “A wasted year is no joke”! Go for it, m’lady.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 28, 2008, 11:08 am

Hey, I’ve been straining toward this moment for a decade, McGoo. I’m disappointed at my timing — money makes everything easier, and having an extra thirty grand or so would sure be swell — but at one point in the process I was in negative equity and the roof piddled on my head when it rained.

At least I didn’t have to cash in my 401K now, at its lowest ebb. I thought that was going to be necessary at one point.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: September 28, 2008, 11:37 am

You’re nearly there, Stoaty. Everyone is cheering you on, y’know.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: September 28, 2008, 11:53 am

I heart McGoo!

Oddly enough. I am in my church’s office right now, waiting for my Sunday School class power point slide notes to print.

🙂 Dawn

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 28, 2008, 12:08 pm

Ver-y nice. Caught this at the Hostages:

Oddly, dude’s rhythm is off at the beginning, and then he pulls it together. I think I’d’ve gone for Take 2.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: September 28, 2008, 12:36 pm

Loved it, Weaz! Funny thing – I kinda noted the rhythm issue before seeing your comment at the bottom, so it’s real I guess.

I loves me some good git-fiddle pickin’.

Ah, Dawn! I missed you! You were gone so long and then I was gone when you came back!

Comment from Allen
Time: September 28, 2008, 1:00 pm

This is funny. Where is the “Any” key?

I think the internet does need resetting.

Comment from glenster
Time: September 28, 2008, 4:25 pm

If anyone’s interested, the Daily Mail site has pictures of Sarahcuda’s pageant days; it’s here:


Lots of big hair – I don’t miss those days!

Comment from Jill
Time: September 28, 2008, 6:14 pm

Biggest congrats, Weas. I know how difficult these things can be.

Oh, I saw Frank Lloyd Wright’s Fallingwater today.

Woo. Yay me.

Comment from Allen
Time: September 28, 2008, 7:04 pm

OK, I was looking for some hatband making supplies and came across the Cowboy Hat, UK Version Thing

Does this go on often over there?

Comment from Gregory the First
Time: September 28, 2008, 11:30 pm

Good for you, Weasel!

And hiya, Goo-boy!


Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: September 29, 2008, 5:48 am

Greggie! Yo.

Didja miss me, sweetie? No? Somehow, I thought not…

Comment from Jill
Time: September 29, 2008, 9:57 am


Comment from Lipstick
Time: September 29, 2008, 10:24 am

Congratulations Weasel.

I’m curious — how did you and Uncle Badger meet?

Comment from Princess Bernie
Time: September 29, 2008, 10:33 am

So glad to hear that you are one step closer to being with your Badger for all time. I feel your real estate pain.

I’m in the same boat, but I get to write a check at the closing.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 29, 2008, 10:35 am

How does anybody meet these days, Lipstick? On the innertubes. He wrote one of the most savage flames I ever read on USENET, and I emailed him a fan letter about it.

Here’s the stupid part: I felt comfortable writing to him because he was far away in England and couldn’t possibly think I was flirting.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 29, 2008, 10:37 am

Oh, OW, Princess B. Just like my cousin did in the ’80s.

Well, I still have to get the boiler replaced: it’s a contingency. I’ve been calling around all morning about it. The gas company never heard of the deal that all three of the independent contractors said they offered.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: September 29, 2008, 10:56 am

Princess B – I wrote a check when I sold my last home in Dallas back in 2001 after 9-11. I’d only owned it a year or so when I had to relocate to St. Louis to take care of Mom. I’d never felt more humiliated in my life for some odd reason. It felt like I had somehow totally failed at life or something. Hard to explain, but very unpleasant.

Yeah, Stoaty – you should get environmental credits etc for a new boiler, among other perks, to soften the monetary violation the HVAC folks are going to lay on you.

Oh – sorry Jill.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: September 29, 2008, 11:06 am

Congrats, Weez, on both the sale of your abode and your forced introduction to The Love That None Dare Call Hathaway.

Steam! I mean, Steam!

Comment from Dawn
Time: September 29, 2008, 11:08 am

Hey your paper towels were right after all.

Comment from apotheosis
Time: September 29, 2008, 11:12 am


what hath adobe wrought? 🙁

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: September 29, 2008, 11:16 am

I left a comment over at your place, jwp – just to let folks over there know they weren’t rid of me yet. They all ignored me with understandable dignity.

The thing that is especially exciting about Weaz’ imminent move is that – with the time difference between ‘Merika and Englandistan – we’ll all have to develop insomnia to converse with her realtime. Wait! I’m already an insomniac! So are half the folks that post here, it seems. Hmmm. I may need to rethink the repercussions of this…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 29, 2008, 11:18 am

I want to be a part of OWASP, aphotheosis. Or at least get the t-shirt.

It sounds like a Rich White People for Obama group.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: September 29, 2008, 11:25 am

I just saw your comment on PB, Steam. I visit PB about as often as everybody else does, ie, once or twice a quarter. Since The Perfesser crawled under the unemployment rock PB has been an echo-y place. I’ve considered broadening the scope to include other state-paid “educators”, but that’s a tad too Stygian for me.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 29, 2008, 11:27 am

Actually, McGoo, I will be here the EXACT same hours. That’s one of the sillier ironies of our relationship: Uncle B is a night person, and work made me a day person of necessity. Therefore, he and I have always observed pretty much the same hours, it’s just that our clocks say different things.

When I’m over there, I instantly adjust to his hours. By nature, I was never a morning person. Though, I admit, I’ve come to like the early hours just after dawn.

You know what I hate? Twilight. I always have. It’s like some giant, inevitable curtain coming down on me. I’m going to hate old age.

Comment from porknbean
Time: September 29, 2008, 11:34 am

It’s like some giant, inevitable curtain coming down on me.

More like the shadow of a dark, heavy, cloth, with peepholes for the eyes…hovering over ol’ blighty.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: September 29, 2008, 11:42 am

Yep – as I was typing my previous bs I realized that I’ve caught you online at 3AM more times than I can count – and that Uncle Badger is here during “normal” i.e. US hours and the wee hours too.

I feel the same about twilight. To me it represents the onset of that continuing unpleasant struggle to sleep a “normal” night through, for once.

Comment from Dawn
Time: September 29, 2008, 12:06 pm

I have heard/seen that word twice in the last 12 hours.
You people are vocabularic.

Comment from Jill
Time: September 29, 2008, 12:18 pm

McGoo, my earlier “McGoo!!” was more of a verbal “woo hoo!” than anything else.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 29, 2008, 12:38 pm

It’s a perfectly cromulent word, Dawn.

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