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Goat butt jokes are evergreen

I’m getting a real Steve Reeves in Hercules vibe off the protagonist in my new game. Mostly his voice. I’m not sure if it enhances it or distracts me.

-=SPOILER=- The thing in his right hand, by the way, is the prosthetic eye of the character nicknamed Cyclops. You are about to jam it up the bum of a goat. After stressing to you how valuable the eye is, I was disturbed the game didn’t give me an opportunity to retrieve it.

Yeah, I’d do it. I’ve seen enough episodes of All Creatures Great and Small.

Anyway, I looked up Hercules and discovered that many if not all MST3K episodes are on YouTube. (Hercules is #502). I guess after capping every episode with “keep circulating the tapes” they couldn’t very well complain about piracy.


Comment from durnedyankee
Time: July 7, 2020, 1:12 am

Tapes? What? You mean Hercules has the same copies of the Epstein Tapes that Gasoline Maxwell has?

If they exist, they’ll be, uh, wiped, you know, like with a cloth.

And then the FBI will lose them,

after they’ve been destroyed accidentally

and besides they didn’t have anything on them,
they were completely blank, honest Native American.

Up the goat’s butt? What the heck? Who does that kind of stuff? (Goat butt stuff?) You know it’s going to be right back out of there in no time.

Oh, and I don’t think anyone who ever animated, or drew, a character who wore a bow that way, looks like bow on back, string across chest.
If they had, they’d realize it’s might flicking uncomfortable, and that bow does NOT stay centered on your back.
Ask Durnedyankee how he might know that.
It’s sort of like characters who carry a thousand rounds for their rifle, 2 rockets, a rocket launcher, a spare shotgun (and rounds), 5 grenades and a BFG. NOT.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: July 7, 2020, 1:19 am

okay, not – maybe he has a case back there? But you shouldn’t leave your bow strung when you ain’t using it.

Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: July 7, 2020, 2:05 am

Now you made me look closer, and notice that the string is nocked a good four inches down from the tip of the limb. Kinda defeats the whole purpose of a recurve design. I’m guessing the game designers have never actually used a bow.

Reminds me of something in Call of Duty: Black ops. They did a wonderful job of rendering a Troy Industries folding rear sight, even down to the lettering engraved on the base. Anachronistic for the time period in which it was supposed to be set, but I could live with that. But they had it on the rifle BACKWARD.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: July 7, 2020, 1:09 pm

But ya know what GB? I bet we ain’t rollin in the sweet sweet cash the game designers and animators are rollin in.


There ain’t no place for reality in games or movies.
Durnedson #3 was playing something yesterday (Monster Hunters?) in which his character was zipping around with an Odachi that appeared to be about 3 times larger than a normal human could use.

I suggested it would weigh a lot, and be difficult to draw and use for very long.

He politely told me to go away after reminding me there aren’t any dragons the size of the ones he was currently fighting either.

Comment from Drew458
Time: July 7, 2020, 3:33 pm

Stoaty – you play some seriously pervy video games. Eyeballs up a goat’s behind? Mental health help is available you know.

Durnedyankee – thanks for the highly esoteric history lesson. Not being at all familiar with medieval Japanese swords, I pulled it up on Wiki. On that page is a 17th Century woodcut showing one wielded in battle. It appears to be about twice the size of the horse the guy is riding.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: July 7, 2020, 4:27 pm

@Drew458 – now ask me about something that’s actually useful to know, and, prepared to be disappointed.


Head full of normally useless shite, that’s me.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 7, 2020, 7:19 pm

Drew, I only play AAA games (the gaming equivalent of Hollywood blockbusters). It’s weird days out there.

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