ROUND FOUR: they’re dropping like flies!
Princess Bernie for the win! Susan Atkins, Manson grrl and stabber of Sharon Tate, died in prison, aged 61. During her stay, she renounced Manson and found Jesus. Jesus was apparently unimpressed, as Atkins contracted brain cancer and died a slow and horrible death. Yay!
Ummm…I don’t feel quite right mailing a copy of Nuts to someone named Princess Bernie. It just don’t seem etiquette. Especially in light of the sheer fabulousity of the next prize. Perhaps we can negotiate something, Princess.
Meanwhile — fingers on keyboards! Step up and pick yer stiff. You know the drill — one per customer. First come, first served. Any kind of celebrity (excluding death row inmates with executions penciled in — Allen, you sneaky bastard). Type fast and snag the good ones. Strangers and noobs welcome. You’re SO going to want this prize.
Not one, but TWO SPOTTED DICKS!
Not just any ol’ dicks, either. These are PREMIUM spotted dicks I bought in the gift shop of Bodiam Castle. (To be absolutely, rigorously fair, poor old Uncle B bought them. As in, stuck his hand in his pocket and brought out some moneys).
I’ve got a line on a more downmarket spotted dick, however. I think I’m going to order a whole case of Aunty’s Spotted Dick.
Because, let’s face it, I’m not EVER going to think up a more fabulous Fabulous Prize.