sweasel.com

Crap, and I was just going to pick her…

I guess my nest guess is Abe Vigoda… or is he already dead? 😉

Just to turn the screw, close perusal of an Aunty’s Spotted Dick packet reveals that they are made in New Zealand!

You see… some colonials don’t drop the fambly cookbook over the side as they are being escorted out of Plymouth at gun point…

Abe is indeed still with us, and an excellent pick, cube.

The Dead or Alive website is a splendid resource for all your Dead Pool research needs.

Remember, there’s dick on the line!

I’ll take released scumbag Lockerbie bomber Abdel Baset Ali al-Megrahi . Die soon and painfully, you piece of shit.

I’ll stick with the Pan Am bomber. he has to croak some time, doesn’t he?

Um, does having picked the Pan Am bomber in the last run give me dibs on him this run, of do I need to pick someone else?

Ginsburg. Cancer is turning out to be a real Grim Reaper.

Art Linkletter!!

It’s new from scratch every time. And it looks like you got scooped by SECONDS, Scoob.

But not to worry. Me, I think the whole thing was a complete put-on and Megrahi isn’t even all that sick.

NP, let me do some research into what global Hemmeroid I want to choose next…

I’m totally pilfering Robert Byrd! Die sukka!

Jimmy Carter.

Please.

I’ll go with Elizabeth Edwards until I find a better pick…

I’m sticking with Gordon Brown, more in hope than expectation.

Yeah, good point. Whatever happened with her? She was definitely terminal…what, two years ago? Last thing I heard, she was opening a restaurant or some damn thing.

I don’t even know what kind of cancer she’s got, but it seems a slow-motion death sentence.

I’m going with John Madden. Not that I wish him ill, but he didn’t look so good last time I saw him…

I’m just sayin’…

I like the Dead or Alive site. It rather pleasingly informs me that I have outlived Che Guevara and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Somewhat scarily, in 36 days I will have outlived John Lennon.

Viva Cuba! I peeck Fidel!

Can’t believe I won. Can’t believe I won WHAT I won. Am willing to negotiate. Told hubby what I won and he said “it’s being addressed to you, right?”

Well since I lost out on Jimmy Earl I’ll pick Bob Barker.
I kinda hope JeffS wins though. I am sure he would enjoy a lovely spotted dick. 🙂

Margaret Thatcher

My two picks are already gone. darnit. And I stalked this blog for quite a while this morning after I posted the news of my win just so I’d get the satisfaction of picking Jimmah.

Grrrrr.

OK. Charlton Heston. Not that I’m hoping for it.

Bernie! Heston’s been gone for AGES. How could you miss my moving tribute to Charlton Heston’s ass?

Umm…would you rather have a spotted dick? Ask your husband.

She has metastatic breast cancer, which is currently being treated. No idea what her current status is.

ROFLMAO stoatie!!! Telling a woman to ask her hubby for spotted dick!!! You’ve got that seriously twisted sense of humor I like! 😉

Damn. Guess I’m REALLY living in the past. And how could I forget Heston’s ass? I totally remember that topic. Now that you’ve reminded me. So sorry.

Husband wants the magazine. He’d rather look at boobies than spotted dick.

Hubby’s observation on the spotted dick pic – um, looks like a meat and two veg if you know what I mean. That thumb is so strategically placed…

Nancy Reagan. Not that I want it to happen.

Bern, I’d rather look at boobies than spotted dick too, and I’m a girl. Ewwwwww..

Oh. My bad. Total accident. It’s too dark in here to shoot without flash, and I was getting reflection, so I had to tilt the package away from me. Then I think…hey, the thumb is for scale!

I guess I’ll vote for Mahmood the MAnti-MSemitic Midget Moron, if only for the wishful thinking aspect of it.

(didn’t want to ruin the alliteration, man)

I’m going with Fidel Castro this round.

Damn, and here I thought I had a foolproof scam. Just goes to show you, you can’t out-clever a weasel.

OK, I’m going with David Crosby. He’s probably burned through that liver he got back in 1995.

damn….workin’ for a livin’ is cuttin’ into my play time. Well, since my last two nags, bader-ginsberg and margaret thatcher, are taken, I’ll go for Byrd. God willing, let it be soon.

I pick Helen Thomas, again.
Hope springs Eternal.

Former Golden Girl Betty White.

Mongo got Byrd early – he was one of my top two

Dammit! All the good ones are already taken. Um…how about Stevens?

Damn, I missed that PB. Ok. How about Kofi Annan because he’s as deserving as …..well, Byrd!

Ginsburg. She’s my choice.

But, I see that Dawn already picked her.

Cube. I hope you are wrong about Betty. She may be a left wing wack job animal rights activist, but I will always love her for the scene in “Lake Placid” where she gets up in the Sherriff’s face and tells him “You know, if I had a d#@k, this is where I would tell you to suck it!!”

Sorry to hear she’s a leftard. I’ll always love her for Sue Ann Niven.

Is she ill or merely old?

Helen Thomas.

Sorry, Joan — Helen went early!

“I am sure he would enjoy a lovely spotted dick.”

Spad13, if I win it for my pick, I’ll eat it in public. I don’t live in the howling wilderness, but I’m fairly sure that this particular desert hasn’t penetrated the local culture.

It’ll be worth it.

Since about three hunnert people have already picked Jimmy Carter (Hey! This pool thing seems to be working!), I’m going with Michael Moore. I figure he’ll do a “Mama Cass” with a cheeseburger some day.

Second pick: that pathetic anti-semitic piece of crap, AquaVelvajhad.

My guess is Arlen Specter.

If you mean I’madinnerjacket, he’s took, Войска ПВ0. But Michael Moore is a splendid choice. As is Specter, Horti.

Where did I read the anecdote about the assistant to Moore who brought him donuts every morning? Somebody remarked how much the man must like his boss and he said something like, “Jesus, no — I’m hoping the calories finish the bastard off!”

I’m sticking with Albright.

Hey! Does that mean, if I win, I get to um, eat my own dick?

How awfully vulgar.

With custard!

If I win I won’t eat the dick, spotted or otherwise. I’ll put it on my mantle for show. Way better than my kids’ 20 year old soccer trophies.

I’m sure all my friends will appreciate it.

How come nobody ever picks Mandela? Or Desmond Tutu? Or even Cardinal Banana or Bob Mugabe? C’mon — Africa isn’t off limits! It’s a crap-hole of a continent!

Speaking of incontinence…Zelaya? Chavez? Let’s not be insular, people!

Jesus! If all it takes is doughnuts (note spelling) I will gladly buy Moore a death sentence in the damned things.

Thats OK, UB. Nigella Lawson has a REALLY nice recipie for hot whiskey sauce…..

China! Who rules China these days?

Oh, Kim Mentally-Ill!

Text searches are telling me nobody has taken Ayatollah Khamenei (the current one, not the already-dead one), so I’ll take that alleged human. Fingers crossed!

Sorry RW. I got in ahead of you with Fidel back a ways. Pick a Kennedy? Seems to be their year in the barrel.

Kirk Douglas

Helen? Helen Thomas? Helen Thomas DEAD? Good God almighty in heaven above! When was she ever alive?!?!

Hugh Hefner, from terminal sleaze. Or an overdose of Viagra.

Oh, and the Reverend Canaan Banana died six years ago.

Here’s a few deserving throw-aways:

Robert Mugabe
Prince Norodom Sihanouk
Abimael Guzman (founder of Shining Path)
Lawrence Walsh (Iran-Contra blowhard)

I was hoping to upgrade to Carter or Byrd, but I see they’re already taken. Guess I’ll stick with Liz Taylor.

Ah yes. I see it now…hrrrm…

Instead, I’m going with Bernard Francis Cardinal Law, former Archbishop of Boston(who resigned due to the Clergy abuse scandal). He contains, for me, two of the worse things a human can do, protecting child molesters and bad leadership.

Mike Wallace.

Mongo stole Robert Byrd! And with a Staph infection. Second choice Spector taken too. Where was I? I’ll just take Speaker Pelosi in a bizarre toxic Botox accident. Sheesh.

Well, I want in, and there’s no reason behind this choice, simply animosity: William Ayers.

It would be lovely if he could be rounded up & shot, as a traitor, but since that’s not likely in the foreseeable future, I’ll settle for plain old everyday dead.

Martha Stewart

Joy Behar. Nasty nasty nasty. Vicious stupid beeyotch. And if she is already taken, Ed Schulz. That dummass on msnbc.

Joe Paterno, dog bless him.

http://tinyurl.com/yargjl2

Jimmy Carter.

A man can still dream…

Mitch Miller. Following the bouncing … Arrrgh!

Wait, is it too late to change my pick to Sargent Shriver? Isn’t he sort of a Kennedy by proxy? Isn’t his full name R. Sargent Shriver? What do you call him – “Hey R, what’s up?”

I’ll stick with my pick from before: Prince Philip. Not with animosity, but he’s been ill a few times and we haven’t had a royal death in a while.

Aw, Mikey — Jimmah always goes in the first few minutes! EVERYBODY wants that joo-hating sanctimonious loser bastard dead. Try again — there’s dick at stake!

Gosh, RSW — Mitch Miller is still with us? Always happy to see a sort-of Kennedy on the list, though.

Muammar Gaddafi – he never had a soul, and his brain has gone already, so he’s nearly there!

Wow, we are down to slim pickings here. . . Hillary in a fiery crash!

Karzai. Not from malice; but he’s in a dangerous spot–the Taliban want him dead, and probably a few other factions as well. And if he were to keel over it might also simplify somebody’s decisions about following through on his now-awkward campaign promise.

Not that I want to be known as the man who killed Spock; but, Leonard Nimoy, 78.

Big fan, but, 78.

O/T Huh. Just noticed the weasel mascot on your header goes for a run when the cursor touches it. Cute.

Alexander (“I’m in charge here”) Haig. (mixin’ it up from my recent fav Kissinger.) Dude is 84, haven’t seen him in a while. Larry Eagleburger looked rather gaunt on TV this past week, but he’s still able to crawl in front of a camera.

I have started to wonder ho long till Lindsay Lohan is found some morning having choked to death on her own vomit…

Danny Glover.

Charles Johnson. Mercy killing.

Damn, did anyone have William Safire?

I don’t think so Mrs. Compton. I saw he had pancreatic cancer as well. That stuff’s been a real bitch lately.

Of all the people to lose…

RIP, William.

He will be immortalised for his epigram on the thrust (oo-err) of the obscenity statutes: “it’s not the teat, it’s the tumidity.” That is world-class wordsmithing. A scholar, and by all accounts, a gentleman.

I want Alan Alda to die.

I mean, I hope I win when he dies, unsuspiciously, of course. Not cutlassed and dangling from a yardarm.

Did anyone take Willaim Safire? He just assumed room temp….

I am going with Glenn Beck…

A co-worker has already suggested to me that his efforts are ….incimvenient….at best, for the current administration….

Arkencide (or the Chicago equivalent) may be in his immediate future…..

Suze Orman. I’m begging now.

Peter O’Toole … I will miss him

I wonder if I should change to Roman Polanski, who is now facing extradition to the US on his 1978 rape conviction…

Anyone want to bet on Suicide if the extradition hearings go against him?

Lucy of `Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds’ Fame Dies

http ://www.newsmax.com/entertainment/eu_britain_beatles_lucy/2009/09/28/265538.html

ISTM that there needs to be a deadline for entries. Say, 96 hours after the contest is opened? BTW, we have 47 entries this time.

Nah…let’s leave it open until somebody on the list dies. That way, your OCD will nip at your ankles for…oh, days and days.

Rich has very helpfully made a spreadsheet for the three prior contests. So far, as soon as he finishes, somebody dies.

Being of the OCD Tribe myself, this has been a cruel pleasure to watch.

Jimmy Carter (we can hope, can’t we?)

sandra day oconnor!

Andy Williams

I vote for William Jefferson Clinton. All the stress from that “vast right-wing conspiracy”, combined with a decades of Mickey D’s, has to catch up with him soon.

Ruth Ginsberg

Oh, Ginsberg went early and often, Joy. She’s a popular girl.

You people are just sick. That said, I want some of the action. I’m going with Norman “The Bundler” Hsu. He’s got the goods on Hill and Bill and will no doubt meet with an unfortunate accident in prison.

I’m going with Dick “America’s Oldest Teenager” Clark if no one has taken him yet.

I pick Dennis Hopper…

Grrr Scott beat me to it. I thought I finally had a chance at the spotted dick. 🙂

Ohhhhh…rushed to the hospital, was he? Well!

Never mind, tawny — I’ve found a source of spotted dick!

Heh. Well I am a Brit so I could go to Waitrose and get some spotted dick, but I just like winning stuff. Onward and upward in my search for celebs hanging by a thread. I’ll take Roman Polanski as a placeholder.

Yeah. I know. Free dick.

Grrr I missed getting Dennis Hopper! Oh well, mustn’t be greedy, since I’ve got bangerz ‘n beanz. Eventually.

Let me know when (or if) they get there, Enas. You too, mongo, if you’re monitoring.

Uncle B thinks Customs won’t let them through. I think they will, but slowly. It’s been…well, quite a while, hasn’t it?

If they won’t let beans and haggis through, what hope spotted dick?

John Couey died this morning (waiting to be sentenced). This was the dirtbag convicted of kidnapping, raping, and murdering nine-year old Jessica Lunsford in February 2005. Might I add torture? He left her buried alive in a garbage bag near his trailer.

Does this mean we start over? I doubt anyone was even thinking of him. Glad he’s gone from the world but sad he didn’t pay for this horrendous crime.

It doesn’t count if nobody picked him, Mumbles. But it’s always good to see a dirtbag get his comeuppance. Jesus, that’s awful. What did he die of?

If you’ve got the guts, have you seen the link to the last words of executed prisoners in Texas that’s been making the rounds.

Read the last words, and it downright humanizes them. Then read what they were convicted of and enjoy your WTF?! moment.

S., heard BOR say tonight that Couey died of cancer. Darn. So no one had him in the pool, huh? I’ll certainly go to link you so kindly put up and hope to see some of our public officials there in coming years.

Ah Weasel, I see you found one of my sources for death row dudes and their date for ridin’ the last train out of town.

Late to the party, but not too late. I’m going with Garrison Keillor this round. No bangerz n’ beanz so far Stoaty!

Anybody pick Paris Hilton yet? Aah, wishful thinking.

I’m also going to put a bid in on Andy Stern. I hope he has an explosive coronary.

I believe Paris has been the target of a previous pick (which doesn’t carry forward into this one). If we eliminated wishful thinking picks on healthy contestants, the pool would dry up and blow away.

But Andy Stern is a pretty good wishful thinking pick. I had to look him up: president of the SEIU.

Garrison Keillor! Yes, Enas. Yesssss.

I’m still in for Maggie Thatcher–I think I may have been the original entrant. Poor cow–she’s gotta be thinking “Any day now.” Hope they’re nicer to her where she’s going than they have been whilst she’s been here. Salut!

Oooo. Quick…changed my mind….I’ll take Irving Penn for the win!

http://photography-now.net/irving_penn/

Merde. Too late.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/08/arts/design/08penn.html?_r=2&hp

Ha! *JUST* missed it 🙂

Does anyone have Bawney Fwank yet? (besides the boys in the basement) I may have to put Hsu on hold and go with Bawney. Just a weird thought that he might stroke out or have a massive coronary.

It’s so hard to choose!

And Captain Lou kicks it.

No one has Ayatollah Sistani yet? Mine!

I can’t believe I didn’t see Captain Lou Albano coming.

Soupy Sales has passed. Another one to the big C too. So long Soupy. 🙁

I can’t believe that all this time has passed and nobody on the list has kicked the bucket.

Harry Reid, I can only hope!

Let me play the long shot… Robert Redford.
I mean if the likely candidates haven’t kicked it yet, what are we left with

Roy Disney checked into the Great Disneyland in the Sky. Did anybody have him?

Anyone have Brittany Murphy?

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/12/20/2009-12-20_actress_brittany_murphy_dies_at_32_of_heart_attack_report.html

I’ll take the San Francisco Suckweasel Pelosi for the Big Sleep.

Hey. HEY! We don’t use ‘weasel’ as a pejorative ’round these parts.

Can you believe nobody on the list has fallen off the perch since September 25?

I’ll take James Carville, in the kitchen, with a knife.

Why? I saw a sidebar ad for some program he and Mary Matalin were doing together, or something. Did he overspill the beans on her?

Nah, I just think that eventually she’s gonna lose it having to listen to such rank …. Carvilleness alla time.

/Heck, I can’t stand to listen to the guy, and I don’t even have to live with him.

Harry Reid, in an upscale Nevada cathouse, over the New Year’s weekend.

Rut roh. Did anybody pick Rush this round? 🙁

Ed Koch. Former mayor of New York, 85, hasn’t surfaced (at least where I’ve seen…) in a while. And nobody else has him.

Mew

EW, I couldn’t stand to look at the guy, let alone live with him. His would be a good photo for the dictionary definition of “repulsive.”

I wish Israel would get busy in Iran and make my prediction come true. For a host of reasons, one or two of them even more noble than my desire to win the dick.

The spotted dick, I mean, of course.

OK I can’t bear the suspense any longer. I’m switching my vote to Dennis Hopper.

Did anybody have Teddy Pendergrass? According to the WSJ, he checked out last night — complications from colon cancer.

Don’t think so. Can you BELIEVE none of the rude bastards on the list have the consideration to DIE, already?

No. It sure is taking a long time to see some action.
!!Eleventy!!! Come on, Reapa!

And it’s Tawny FTW! (Almost)

The Mail says he has “less than a month” — a month is, like, eternity to the Death Pool.

But, yeah, Tawny has a good shot at the dick.

Oh, and may I say, spending your last days furiously trying to get a divorce so your wife won’t get more of the estate than she agreed in the pre-nup is hella depressing.

Okay, who else is dying and could croak any minute? This is getting ollllllllldddddd.

Isn’t Dennis Hopper conservative?

Put me down for Augie Meyers, Keyboardist for the Texas Tornadoes.

Don’t believe it.. nobody had Pernell Roberts?!?!

http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/obit/2010-01-25-pernell-roberts_N.htm?csp=34

Mew

Nope! The last of the Cartwrights…

And nobody has Zinn either

J. D. Salinger…
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,584170,00.html

Doesn’t appear anyone has him, either.

Have the other two winners of foodstuffs received their prizes?

Yah I got my can of bangerz n’ beanz P.B. Alas, it got squooshed somewhere on the way and burst the seal on the can.

Yup, I think everything’s accounted for. But all three prizes took, like, ten weeks to get there. Even the magazine. And Enas lost his beans, as he reveals.

Well, at least the boobie magazine wasn’t perishable. I think it’s around the house somewhere – unless MWG took it to the hunting cabin to share with his buddies.

Nobody pinched Murtha?

I’ll be darned. I don’t think any of us picked Murtha for this round.

Nope! Can you believe it? When he went into the ICU last week, the thought should’ve dawned on SOMEbody.

At this rate, I’ll be stuck with a drawerful of dick forEVER.

NOBODY PICKED MURTHA?!!!!!!!

Rats.

But a drawerful of dick doesn’t sound so bad, actually.

Alex Baldwin.

Liberal karma is calling this week.

Billy Jeff Clinton hospitalized. weirdsister called him .. If he doesn’t make it, does this mean she gets the, erm, dick.

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/Politics/president-bill-clinton-rushed-york-hospital/story?id=9810992

I was just thinking how awful Obama must be to make me decide Clinton wasn’t so bad.

Sounds like he’s going to be okay, though.

Yep. What is it with all these people just keeping on living?

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/wire/sns-ap-us-lautenberg-hospitalized,0,4553498.story

Lautenberg, Senator from New Jersey, hospitalized and 86 and nobody else has him….

Sockless Joe for the win!
Al Haig has assumed room temperature.
Yippee! Joe wins the dick….wait, that didn’t sound right…
Oh Hell…
Can I have Jimmuh in the next round?
I’ve had Helen Thomas in every other round…Watch the bitch die now, just to spite me.

How about Sargent Shriver?