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Clown stole my pillow…


Tail end of the long weekend, and I’m unutterably depressed by the totally predictable international response to the whole phony evil-jews-club-adorable-baby-seals-on-the-high-sea thing. That’s my cue to witter on pointlessly for a while.

As I was skimming just under the surface of consciousness thing this morning, I dreamed a clown leaned in the bedroom door and stole my pillow.

Brrrrr. Not a nice wake-up call. Forget out-and-out coulrophobia — is there anybody on the planet who thinks clowns are the least little microscopic bit funny?

And if the answer is yes, and it’s you — can you try to explain it to me? Because I’m totally not getting it.

Huge shoes, monstrous facial features, golf pants and smacking each other around with giant hammers. Nope. Not getting it.

Also, jack-in-the-boxes. Did you have one? Did it make you laugh? Because mine scared the shit out of me when I was little.

Granted, I have an exaggerated startle response. Or, as my mother put it, I’m real goosey. But knowing when the thing was going to pop out of the deal wasn’t any help at all, I was still like, “aiiiii! The clown, it taunts me!”

I guess a touch of Pop-Goes-the-Weaselphobia is to be expected.

Comments


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: June 1, 2010, 1:08 am

To the so-called “peace” activists I’m gonna pull a Kos here and say “Screw ‘em”.

Clowns – I must say I’m on the other side of clown issue from you, and a lot of others appaently. I like clowns. I really don’t get the clown-hatred, and I tire of endless depictions of evil clowns. You just didn’t have enough Bozo T. Clown when you were a kid Stoaty. Bozo was the bomb.


Comment from Skandia
Time: June 1, 2010, 1:17 am

It’s the dang blasted news, dredging up old memories, relaunching old fears, ruining one’s sleep. Can’t get away from it; duty demands one pay attention.


Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: June 1, 2010, 1:57 am

Can’t sleep, clowns will kill me….


Comment from Monotone ( The Elderish)
Time: June 1, 2010, 2:00 am

News: well… depends on wether you consider RPG’s as humanitarian aid or not…

Clowns: Hate’em. Hate Mime, Clowns, Guys on unicycles, all of it i also find japanese stand up comidians strange beyond all reason….


Comment from steve
Time: June 1, 2010, 2:12 am

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/mly0885l.jpg


Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: June 1, 2010, 2:44 am

Clowns taste funny.


Comment from Gromulin
Time: June 1, 2010, 3:27 am

I hope you are not including Krusty in the bad-clown basket. Also, Bobcat Goldthwaite’s ‘Shakes the Clown’ was pretty funny, back in the day. That’s what I’d always imagined a clown’s life to be like.


Comment from Monotone ( The Elderish)
Time: June 1, 2010, 3:54 am

i think gebrauchshund just admitted cannibalisim……


Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: June 1, 2010, 5:46 am

Or something more — uhhhhh — “friendly”…

_____________________

1. Pale faces.

2. Overly-large mouths.

3. Patchy areas of hair loss

4. Mostly mute.

Ergo: Clown = Zombie.


Comment from Anonymous
Time: June 1, 2010, 12:47 pm

I think clowns, circuses, and county fairs are vestiges of what was considered mind blowing entertainment back when most folks lived on farms and isolated towns and didn’t get out and about much. Life must have been horribly dull back then. I hope the internet will be the giant seltzer bottle that washes clowns from the face of the earth.


Comment from Monotone ( The Elderish)
Time: June 1, 2010, 12:53 pm

ahhh, ok, THAT’S why i fear them!


Comment from steve
Time: June 1, 2010, 1:15 pm

Homey don’t play dat!


Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: June 1, 2010, 6:02 pm

Clowns are stooge-funny, they do slapstick silly stuff dressed in a goofy way. Go to a circus sometime and try not to laugh at the clowns.

The whole “clowns are terrifying” meme is one of the most false and forced I’ve ever seen on the internet. Everyone wants to agree with Kramer all the sudden oh yeah I’m scare of clowns too, always have been. Nice clothes on the Emperor too.


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: June 1, 2010, 6:56 pm

Right on, Steve! Homey the clown is the only one that deserves to live!


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: June 1, 2010, 7:25 pm

Chris Taylor speaks truth to anti-clown power!


Comment from Allen
Time: June 1, 2010, 7:34 pm

Rodeo clowns are good clowns. Of course getting on a bull in the first place calls into question one’s view of a good idea. It does help to have someone dressed funny to distract it when you’re down.


Comment from tawny
Time: June 1, 2010, 9:00 pm

It might just be a meme but clown lovers are fighting against the tide.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwXdSH2Co78


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: June 1, 2010, 9:03 pm

I dunno, Allen. They can be awfully distracting when they sit with the barrel in the corner of the bedroom while you are trying to prove to your lady that you are indeed staying on the FULL 8 seconds…… ;-)


Comment from Allen
Time: June 1, 2010, 9:35 pm

Scuba, now that’s funny :)


Comment from David Gillies
Time: June 1, 2010, 9:36 pm

I’m with Weasel. There’s a brilliant bit in The Fifth Elephant where the Fools’ Guild in Ankh Morpork catches fire and the clowns try to put it out, along with much slapstick.

“…the Fools Guild was on fire.

This was a problem, because the Guild’s fire brigade consisted largely of clowns.

Across the street a clown picked up a ladder, turned, knocked the clown behind into bucket of water, then turned again to see what the commotion was, thus sending his rising victim into the bucket again with a surprising parping noise. The crowd watched silently. It it was funny, clowns wouldn’t be doing it.”


Comment from Mags
Time: June 2, 2010, 2:34 am

As someone forced as a child to work at the fairs (occasionally dressed as a clown) I would like to say that I hate all clowns. The other clowns at the fairs were creepy and liked kids too much.
I can make a damned good balloon animal though.

David G. – May I simply add that the above quote is a wonderful example of why I read this site. We weasel minions have impeccable taste.


Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: June 2, 2010, 12:11 pm

Allen sez:

Of course getting on a bull in the first place calls into question one’s view of a good idea.

which is of course why what Anonymous said about

what was considered mind blowing entertainment back when most folks lived on farms and isolated towns and didn’t get out and about much. Life must have been horribly dull back then.

made it seem like a good idea at the time.

And yes, I did grow up as a ‘hayseed.’ Why do you ask?

Mags goes on to say,

We weasel minions have impeccable taste.

which is, unfortunately, all in our mouths.


Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: June 2, 2010, 2:04 pm

Which brings us right back to “clowns taste funny”…


Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: June 2, 2010, 7:18 pm

Yeah…not sure why Monotone would think that’s some kind of cannibalism.


Comment from Amy
Time: June 4, 2010, 7:05 am

Yeah…not sure why Monotone would think that’s some kind of cannibalism.

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