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Good news, ladies!


He’s free.

Have you seen him lately? Al Gore looks like shit. Pale and pasty with little red eyes. He’s aged ten years in the last two, godnose why.

I’ve missed the mark here. He looks like captain of the football team — too beefy.

I was aiming for more of an Uncle Joan kind of thing.

I’ve never heard the slightest suggestion of anything…untoward about Al, but something about him has always given me the creeps. The sexual creeps. He’s got a real ‘aging drag queen’ vibe.

Maybe it’s the non-existent eyebrows. Or the flared nostrils. Or the little cupid’s bow of a mouth.

It’s something.

Oh, well. With any luck, Tipper will write a tell-all and I’ll find out.




Comment from Monotone ( The Elderish)
Time: June 1, 2010, 10:24 pm

Maybe its the stress from getting a snow storm at copenhagen….

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: June 1, 2010, 10:31 pm

He bloated up pretty quickly after he lost the presidential race as I recall. And yeah, he always has that smug, leering look that’s really off-putting. He looks like a fat Gollum.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: June 1, 2010, 10:32 pm

For your viewing pleasure:

Men who look like old lesbians.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: June 1, 2010, 10:37 pm

I can hear the orgasmic moans of all the hopeful greenies who have been in love with Al for years, hoping to catch his eye. Now they have hope!

Comment from Allen
Time: June 1, 2010, 10:49 pm

For some reason, I just can’t get that picture out of my mind. Maybe because it wouldn’t surprise me. At all.

“Who the hell is that over there?”

“It kind of looks like Al Gore in a dress.”

“It is him, Lord he’s dead drunk too.”

I loved that article Weasel, “Gore Pick Up Lines.” Oh boy. I have to think of some…

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: June 1, 2010, 10:56 pm

Oh, and Stoaty? I’m single, yes. Desperate? Oh, HECK no. Enough of that “Good news, ladies” nonsense. 🙂

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 1, 2010, 11:01 pm

Personally, I’ve always thought he was a dead ringer for Christopher Reeve – in late model ‘human waxworks’ mode.

Looks like steroids to me. Either that or alien possession.

Comment from JeffS
Time: June 1, 2010, 11:34 pm

Not steroids, Uncle Badger. Unless jelly filled doughnuts contain steroids as a natural by product.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 2, 2010, 12:20 am

Buff Orpington, Captain of the Ringball Team.

Comment from qrstuv
Time: June 2, 2010, 12:39 am

Ace posted a picture of Algore grabbing his wife and kissing her. She looks reluctant.

caption: “I must prepare your brain-stem for egg implantation.”

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: June 2, 2010, 1:23 am

actually qrstuv, It reminds me of that movie “Slither”, with the zombie making works that burrow into your brain. She’s trying to recoil because he’s giving her a full-on dose of worm guts……

Comment from Monotone ( The Elderish)
Time: June 2, 2010, 1:42 am

…. he REALLY needs to lay off the botox….. even if he IS a zombie , that cant be good for anybody…

Comment from BrendaK
Time: June 2, 2010, 4:12 am

Nice likeness of the Hive Leader.

Oooooh, that awful kiss. It was cringe-inducing, and I always wondered if he didn’t warn Tipper because she would have refused to kiss him if she’d known in advance… Seriously, it looked to me like he was trying to devour her head. Which, maybe so…

Comment from nbpundit
Time: June 2, 2010, 7:22 am

I have a better idea….

Comment from scubafreak
Time: June 2, 2010, 7:29 am

Besides, I doubt that AlGore would ever be described as ‘free’…

His underwear alone probably qualifies as a Federal Superfund site….

Comment from Janna
Time: June 2, 2010, 11:30 am

You would buy and READ a book by TIPPER GORE?

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: June 2, 2010, 11:53 am

When bonz warned of a bimbo eruption, my first thought was “… or a boyo …”

Or alien possession, of course.

And no, I wouldn’t buy a Tipper Gore book. (Ewww, I can’t believe I strung all those words together in the same sentence.) But somebody would surely blurt out the juicy bits, saving me the 17¢ or whatever.

Comment from Princess Bernie
Time: June 2, 2010, 12:42 pm

Stoaty, I’ve always had the same sense about him that you do.

Comment from Ric Locke
Time: June 2, 2010, 12:54 pm

Al Gore should be bronzed and set up in the Capitol building somewhere near the Constitution, with a sign reading: “The Constitution forbids patents of nobility. This is why.”

Tony Hillerman has a wonderful line: “If you’re going to be meaner than everybody else, you’d better be smarter than everybody else if you expect to live long.” Most nobility traces itself back to somebody who was both meaner and smarter than everybody else in the vicinity. The chances of their kids being just as mean or meaner are high; the chance of their being equally or more smart isn’t high enough to think about.

Albert Gore Sr. was ‘way smarter and ‘way meaner than average. His son is just a prototypical or exemplary Big Guy’s Kid: absolutely convinced he’s entitled to be just as Big and just as important, but totally lacking the chops to carry it off. Chuckie, anyone?


Comment from JAM2
Time: June 2, 2010, 2:20 pm

If he’s undergoing prostate cancer therapy (or some such) it would account for the ‘roid look and feminization of his features.

or it could just be he is a pig and openly now doesn’t give a shit about anything but power and self gratification.

Comment from James
Time: June 2, 2010, 5:12 pm

Actually, “with any luck” _neither_ of them will write any sort of tell-all and we can let them fade from memory.

Comment from Clifford Scridlow
Time: June 2, 2010, 5:59 pm

Half man. Half Bear. Half Pig. Half your net worth snapped up by the soon to be officialy “EX” wife.

Comment from The Dread Pirate Neck Beard
Time: June 2, 2010, 6:17 pm

From Tipper’s tell-all: That Mister Zappa was so mean! All I wanted to do was take away a couple of his rights. Like, c’mon! And why couldn’t Albert have won in 2000? _I_ would have been First Lady! Think of how many ugly writers and musicians I could have sent to Albert’s work camps.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: June 2, 2010, 9:13 pm

My guess is he became completely insufferable after the failed attempt to steal the 2000 election.

Comment from Dawn
Time: June 3, 2010, 7:24 pm

His slow and breathless faggoty drawl has ALWAYS bothered me.
Can you imagine that creepy voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear for forty years? Makes me want to cut mine off just thinking about it.

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