web analytics

Don’t jump!

First lady Michelle Obama is trying to help set a world record for the most people doing jumping jacks in a 24-hour period. Mrs. Obama led about 400 elementary and middle-school students from Washington, Maryland and Virginia in one minute of continuous jumping jacks on the South Lawn on Oct. 11.

Michelle looks a little drawn, doesn’t she?

Did you watch her on the campaign trail in ’08? Funny thing; she was ten times the politician her husband is.

Barack always had that thousand-yard stare and the styrofoam columns and that faraway, fakey accent, like he was reciting the I Had A Dream speech to himself in the shower.

Michelle connected with people, spoke without a ‘prompter and worked the room like a champ. I didn’t agree with a word she said, but she wasn’t a creepy robot like her hubs.

Man, she must have had a Hillary Clinton-style, you want me to make COOKIES? moment when they slipped the muzzle over her face.

Jumping jacks on the lawn. Wow.


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 12, 2011, 8:39 pm

Please, let me just say that that is NOT a flattering picture of the First Terrorist.

Of Course, you would be hard pressed to FIND a recent picture of her that IS flattering….

Comment from David Gillies
Time: October 12, 2011, 9:21 pm

She spends about three years’ worth of my income every time she goes with her posse on a jaunt to Alicante or St Tropez or Phuket. I tried reading the online version of her ‘senior thesis’ from her Princeton years. It was so abominable I had to give up after a few pages. I would have rejected anything that weak from a high school pupil. I bet her blood cholesterol is high enough you could tap a 1/4 pint off and use it to fry pancakes.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 12, 2011, 9:39 pm

Yeah, I was surprise that was their lead photo, Scoob. It’s not flattering at all.

Comment from Goober
Time: October 12, 2011, 10:21 pm

David – I agree on your assessment of her thesis. My issues with it were myriad, but even if you concede her strange political views, it was just poorly written, incompetently supported, and presumptively dismissive. It was just not good. For goodness sake, a college thesis should not look like the work of a High school student, but that is what I kept coming back to when i read it. Of course, we can’t look at any of her husband’s work on any of HIS studies. We actually can’t verify anything has ever been written by him, since it appears that even his books were ghost written by others. Never have we had a president with a checkered past so veiled in secrecy.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 12, 2011, 10:29 pm

Nonsense, Goober. We have one confirmed example of Obama’s writing.

Comment from Mike James
Time: October 12, 2011, 11:28 pm

“…when they slipped the muzzle over her face.”

Hoo, hoo…I never think of expressions so clever as that. I’m jealous.

Comment from The Watcher
Time: October 13, 2011, 12:32 am

One WHOLE minute? Wow. I mean, just…wow. I’ve got diabetes, congestive heart failure and arthritis in my feet and ankles, and even I can do a minute’s worth of jumping jacks.

Madame Antoinette…erm, I mean, FLOTUS…please impress us by doing, oh, say TWO minutes worth?

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: October 13, 2011, 1:04 am

Nope, not a flattering photo…I find that very interesting indeed.

Comment from JeffS
Time: October 13, 2011, 3:29 am

Taking the position of devil’s advocate, Michelle Obama is hardly a photogenic person. That might have been the best of a bad lot.

Comment from Oceania
Time: October 13, 2011, 3:43 am

Schauen sie auf ganzes jenes unmenschliches Ungeziefer!!!

Comment from Nina
Time: October 13, 2011, 4:35 am

Oh my gosh, Stoaty, that BO poem you linked above really stinks–how could I have missed that 3 years ago?

Fortunately the comments on the thread were entertaining enough to mask the awfulness of the “poem.”

Comment from Andrea Harris
Time: October 13, 2011, 5:26 am

I’ve always thought that the awful outfits she mostly wears is her only outlet for rebellion these days. When Obama is finally out of the White House and they’re in whatever pricey manse our tax dollars will buy for them she’s going to put him in such a headlock…

Oh, and by the way, is it possible that you can just delete this Oceania person’s deranged maunderings? How hard can it be? CTRL-F “Oceania” [DELETE].

Sorry. It’s just that when something from himherit pops up it’s like having a urine-covered drunk pop out at you from the bushes when you’re trying to take a relaxing walk.

Comment from Oceania
Time: October 13, 2011, 5:37 am

You can rest assured that I work hard to give this forum the attention that it so much deserves, and can least afford.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: October 13, 2011, 6:07 am

If all y’all are using Firefox and you pay me I could probably cook up a Greasemonkey script that would filter Oceania’s nonsense, but how much fun would that be?

BTW, in case you were wondering, ‘Ungeziefer’ is not a very nice thing to call someone. It has…connotations. Like camps, and gas, and crematoria, for example.

Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: October 13, 2011, 6:19 am

The most pathetic thing about it is that it thinks it’s actually making a contribution.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: October 13, 2011, 6:29 am

Jumping jacks on the lawn? Meh.

Squat thrusts would have been more appropriate.

Comment from Mark T
Time: October 13, 2011, 7:07 am

I was in that Ivy League Crowd–I loved the schooling I got and I think my ears were divinely stuffed with gum while Noam was forming schwa blə, blə, blə noises. I was mentored by all the old school Right People and couldn’t have given two figs for the Social Climbing and Pudding Clubs–but I understood it–I was IMMERSED in it. Now, in my haughtier moments (which are few!) I can snicker and say, “Girl, I know EXACTLY what you’re up to with all that plastic surgery, taking on Causes, and getting up everybody’s noses about French Fries and Jamie Oliver. You didn’t have any Friends to go to and proof-read your thesis!” I gave up on mocking The Frist Family and despising them–they deserve our pity. Both of them are going to need LOTS of tall umbrella drinks served to them on a floating yacht which knows no harbour. I doubt they’ll be gloating over the Damage they’ve wrought. They will disappear into their His & Her cabins, and who knows what will be embroidered on the hand towels?

Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 13, 2011, 2:24 pm

What a sad, small life you lead, Oceania.

Comment from Deborah
Time: October 13, 2011, 4:10 pm

Stoaty—I love it here, and I appreciate that you have a big pool and will let in anyone that wants to swim, splash around, or just lie in the sun. But one of the guests insists on crapping in the pool. And nothing spoils a good day with friends like bumping into a turd.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: October 13, 2011, 5:37 pm

For the first time in my life I am proud of Michelle Obama….well sorta

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 13, 2011, 6:35 pm

Gawd, is it just me, or does she look like a Sasquatch that got mugged with a 55 gallon drum of hair removal cream?

Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: October 13, 2011, 7:36 pm

Stoat: I just found your site (relatively recently) and I’m enjoying it. But the comments really makes it stand out. I just don’t understand the antipathy towards Oceania.
And I lol’ed at Scubafreak’s last comment.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: October 13, 2011, 7:39 pm

@Comment from Deborah (October 13, 2011, 4:10 pm)

…But one of the guests insists on crapping in the pool. And nothing spoils a good day with friends like bumping into a turd.

We have a friendly disagreement on this. I find that guest’s commentary useful and entertaining. You see a turd and I see Baby Ruth candy bar.

It is at times helpful to experience someone going over the line. It helps determine just where the line is.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 13, 2011, 7:54 pm

Welcome to my turd-filled punchbowl, Laughing Buddha. Oceania strays into some really weird places sometimes and, I confess, I erase some of his viler pronouncements when I see them. He has molto racial issues and likes to drop the n-bomb.

I’d rather not even police him for language, to be honest, but the current blog climate is one where tolerance is mistaken for acceptance (or even approval). I sure don’t want to be “that blog where they use the n-word all the time.”

Of course, I’d love it if Oceania policed himself. Or, better yet, woke up one morning and resolved not to be a professional itinerant button-pushing attention-seeking international nutcake. He harshes the mellow of many good citizens of the blogosphere (and has probably driven away readers I can ill afford to lose).

Comment from Oceania
Time: October 13, 2011, 11:19 pm

Well Sweasel …. You know that I give the Obamas a really hard time. Have you ever asked why? No you haven’t. Most Americans are blind to any criticism, rightly or wrongly, of their president.
I even asked for a birth certificate – but was shot down here multiple times. Why?

In 1999 I had many interviews with an employee of the KGB. An issue was was brought up/raised at the 12th interview of a half-black man, who was being groomed by KGB specialists for a role in the US congress. This was discussed, and written off at the time by myself as being a ‘flight of fancy’ – as a ‘red herring’ – as part of the interview process. However, the person in question was researched, and his name was included in the report.

Consider yourself now informed.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 13, 2011, 11:31 pm

Blind to criticism of Obama?



Do you even READ this blog?

Comment from Oceania
Time: October 14, 2011, 12:07 am

Oh yes I do – thank-you! It is a credit to you.
It is actually a wonderful blog, with cutting up to date and broad commentary, insight, and ever so nice graphics.


PS: I learnt everything I know from SCA. It is all his fault. Honest.

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny