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Efficiency

Welcome to your new Kitteh Storage Unit. This model is equipped to hold two (2) large, four (4) small or an unlimited number of behbeh kittehs.

Okay, okay, enough with the Cheezburger speak. (Hm. Is Cheezburger still around? It is! It looks kinda lame and click-baity though).

Wednesday is my day off. I shot this through the kitchen window today, from afar, with my phone. Fortunately, when you convert photos to black-and-white and 510 pixels wide, they ALL look like shit.

April 24, 2019 — 9:00 pm
Comments: 3

Thank me later

This adorable feller is a dormouse. They’re known for hibernating six months of the year and being painfully cute. The photo was used on Facebook to promotee the Sussex Wildlife Trust, though it’s the typical FB bait-and-switch where you click the picture and you don’t actually get a bigger version of the same picture. It’s credited to Terry Whittaker/2020VISION (I think. It’s hard to read).

But the actual article I’m linking to is a crowdfunding campaign called The Vagina Museum needs your help to open

Set to be the world’s first bricks and mortar museum dedicated to vaginas, vulvas and the gynaecological anatomy, the Vagina Museum, (the first and only registered charity in the UK with vagina in its title) is positioned to open in Camden Market in November 2019. But to make this great (and time sensitive) opportunity a reality, we need your help to do it! We have launched a crowdfunder to achieve this.

Then they go on a long tirade about how health is endangered when women are embarrassed to say “vagina” — but I’m pretty sure most people would be embarrassed to say penis or testicle in the same setting and it isn’t causing millions of men to drop dead of dick cancer.

Anyway. There you go. Toss ’em some change if you want to see this happen. Or, better yet, look at that adorable dormouse.

April 23, 2019 — 8:12 pm
Comments: 9

Fab four

Bit of an anticlimax to watch: they decided mama was not progressing well enough and whisked her off to the vet. An our later, four healthy kittens appeared on camera. Delivered by caesarean (one had to have a little atropine assist to get his tiny ticker going). Three tabbies and a ginger.

I recommend you hold onto the link. They’ll follow these little wigglers right up to adoption time and these babies grow fast.

This (and I’m sure many other) animal charities make serious bank via these kitten cams. And more power to them — you’ve got to buy the Friskies somehow.

I’m sure there’s a doggo equivalent, for you weird non-cat people. I couldn’t find a live puppy cam, but here’s a live cam of elderly dogs eating. For some reason.

April 4, 2019 — 8:10 pm
Comments: 5

Can’t talk. Busy watching feral cats give birth.

Like giving birth RIGHT NOW.

Both are pregnant. The one on the left is Nelia and she’s just gone into labor within the last couple hours. The one on the right is Serenity. This is Serenity’s box. Nelia has commandeered it, and Serenity is not happy about it.

If you hurry, you can join me and seven thousand of my pretend internet friends to see the very first kitten emerge. (Assuming there are no complications; it does seem to be taking a little long).

Fair warning: they have just switched from the above view to butt cam.

April 3, 2019 — 8:10 pm
Comments: 9

Not my chicken. Not my cat.

The look on that bird’s face.

Little Boo is not bad about chasing chickens. He’s had a go because it’s such fun, but he backed down when I yelled at him.

He’s responsive to that. Which is, on the one hand, gratifying. But on the other hand, a little sad. Cats are supposed to be bastards, but he’s incredibly shy and eager to please.

Jack was such an unrepentant chicken chaser that I literally wondered if he was deaf. The screaming and the throwing things, it did nothing.

Another picture pinched from my chicken-focused social media. Because I’ve had a lovely laid-back Friday afternoon and I’m lazy. Good weekend, all!

March 29, 2019 — 10:37 pm
Comments: 13

First lambs!

We saw the first lambs of the season on the way to the supermarket today. Well, the first lambs we’ve seen — there’s a farm in the back of beyond that always has the very first lambs, but we have to go out of our way to see them. These were just RIGHT THERE, like nothin’.

Not the ones in the picture up there, though. That picture is stolen from Middle Farm, a local open farm. They sell tickets for lambing. I can’t decide if that’s a very city thing or a very country thing to do. Their lambing starts April 1, like ours.

I bought my second two chickens from Middle Farm, a long time ago. And very excellent chickens they were, too.

But never mind that — LAAAAAMBS!

March 19, 2019 — 8:42 pm
Comments: 6

The most inconvenient of tails

Uncle B took this snapshot in the garden yesterday (gosh, phone cameras are getting better). My boy Boo, who is now about ten months old and the sweetest khet ever.

That tail, tho. The longest, skinniest, most inconvenient tail of them all. And there’s a white ring just before the tip, which seems an unnecessary mockery.

I feed all three beasts first thing in the morning; the kitchen floor is a minefield of lashing tails. Or one of those Russian sword dance things: step wrong at your peril.

See the snowdrops in one corner? They’ve been bursting out for a couple of weeks. It’s been very funny weather here. The sunshine says it’s Spring. The wind says, “fuck you and the horse you rode in on.”

March 11, 2019 — 10:04 pm
Comments: 8

Hold me back, boys — I got the chicken jones. Bad.

Today, I talked to a chicken lady. She breeds these things (see arrows).

It’s a Poland bantam. Attentive readers will recall that I WANT ONE OF THESE IN THE WORST WAY. I stole the picture from Your Chickens magazine because I think that’s the color she described to me.

She has them in the incubator now. She’s candled them. They’re kicking. Though she says it takes a little longer to accurately guess the sex of Polands, so it’s going to be two months. At least.

Ordinarily, with Polands, I wouldn’t care if I got a rooster. They look even cooler than the hens. But I don’t think I could bear to have three of the screechy little effers in my garden.

She also does gold partridge pekins, my favorite flavor of pekin. So that’s my fallback.

Two months is perfect. That’s getting on for the beginning of May, when it’ll warm up a little and behbeh chicks can peck around in the grass when it’s sunny.

I AM SO EXCITED, Y’ALL. It’s going to be a long two months. Have a good weekend and dream of little pom pom chickens snoozing in their shells.

February 22, 2019 — 9:01 pm
Comments: 9

The Beast

Uncle B heard the most horrible galomphing up and down the roof today. Her ran out to find…this.

I really like the full size, color version. It’s like one of those Find the Hidden Pictures thing you used to see in Highlights for Children in the dentist’s office (if that made sense to you, you are American. And old).

Can you spot: a wheelbarrow? A chicken house? A fallen tile? A sheep? A holly bush? A lavender? A fruit cage? A hop vine? The first daffodil of Spring?

And some horrible child had always drawn a circle around all the right answers in crayon.

February 13, 2019 — 8:46 pm
Comments: 15

The heartbreak of fish breath

 

 

 

 

 

 

Images from the Comedy Wildlife Competition.

Given the mission statement, I was kind of hoping for a better selection of funnies, but they’re mostly fairly meh. Still, I’ll look at animal pitchers all day long.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 29, 2019 — 8:59 pm
Comments: 5