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Huh. Must be egg bound.

porcelain

This came across my Twitter feed today. Most useful thing I’ve gotten out of Twatter in a long time. Yes, there’s color. I must have this thing.

Still dealing with home-broughten work at the moment.

RIP Glen Campbell. Poor bastard had been dealing with Alzheimer’s for a thousand years. And Uncle Al had ‘im in the Dead Pool. That means you-know-what, here, Friday, 6WBT.

August 8, 2017 — 10:03 pm
Comments: 21

Holy shit, I forgot to post…!

I didn’t post yesterday. I clean forgot. First time in the ten years of sweasel.com. What’s more, I didn’t even realize it until I couldn’t sleep and decided to check my own blog on my tablet (note timestamp: 1:24 am. Wait, do you see post times in my time zone or yours?).

Sorry. I’ve been bringing home work. I didn’t think I’d have to do that. Ever again for as long as I lived. But the old dude who used to lay out our annual magazine decided he’s too old, and my boss was all, like, “say, you used to do publication design, didn’t you?”

Yes, yes…that only came up in the context of how much I flipping hated it.

Plus, I’ve got an art show coming up. I stay an associate member of the art club until I show two pieces in an annual show. I decided I hated everything I’ve done and I’ve thrown it all away and started from scratch. I have about a week.

So. Anyway. Excuses are boring. Those are mine. It’s gratifying that you noticed my absence (truly, it is). I don’t suppose it would do me much good if I fell down the stairs, as the emergency personnel would need more than “don’t know her name but she lives somewhere on the South coast of England.” But it’s still good to know if I fell off the earth, it would make a little ripple on the other side of the world.

I should get it all straightened out…in a couple of weeks (sigh).


p.s. Oh, for the record — yes, I have three tablets. Two Kindles, three tablets and an Android phone — and I use them all. HAHAHA! Well, except the first Kindle — the screen broke.

They’ve all been presents from Uncle B over time, but each one has a specific role and a specific place in the house. As you know, the batteries in these devices hate being run all the way down and there’s a constant drain while they search for wifi signal, so I expend a certain amount of daily effort rounding them all up and feeding them. They’re like livestock, really.

August 3, 2017 — 7:27 pm
Comments: 22

Him again

sparklepaint

Remember that Stewart Semple guy? The one with the blackest black paint and sparkliest glitter? Well, he’s back with rainbow color-changing paint. I guess you put the color-change stuff on top of a base layer and it alters the base by temperature.

It looks pretty cool. Here’s video of him painting a rainbow unicorn (because I guess it was super hard to get a drag queen to stay still).

And, yes, I did buy a bottle of Black 2.0 and a jar of Sparkliest Glitter. The black was very black and the glitter was very sparkly. What can I say? I couldn’t think of anything fun to do with it.

June 27, 2017 — 7:52 pm
Comments: 8

hypnotic

wood

Brett Foxwell is a professional stop-motion animator and, if I can be the judge, a loonie. He’s done this fantastic frame-by-frame animation of him…sanding wood, I guess is what. The result looks like breathing creatures or microscopy or aerial photography of a seasonal river delta. Watch it. Wear headphones. It’s something else.

This was not a simple idea. He would have to take a precise amount off each time to make such a smooth animation. Even harder than that, though, he’d have to move either the camera or the wood closer by exactly the amount he’d shaved off, or likewise the animation wouldn’t be smooth. Hence loonie.

If synchronized sanding ain’t your thing, we’ve been enjoying watching this litter of Canadian kittens grow up in real time. They’re all ready to be adopted out, so don’t get attached, but I’m quite sure they’ll follow another litter after this. It’s what they do.

June 20, 2017 — 10:30 pm
Comments: 11

Chikken!

chickensoap

This young feller, Daniele Barresi, is making a name for himself doing quick food sculptures. Though this particular one is a soap sculpture. BUT IT’S A CHICKEN. A friend of mine in art school used to do soap carving, so I have a warm spot. More soap.

Here’s some of the better food ones, on Bored Panda. Yes, despite the name “Daniele” it’s a he. And he bites his fingernails.

Unrelated note: I have just put into the oven the greatest meatloaf ever made — I suspect — and no-one will ever know. But me. AHAHAHAHA!

June 13, 2017 — 10:35 pm
Comments: 17

Walt Disney shits up beach in Eastbourne

statues

They snuck in under cover of darkness and planted these ugly statues at low tide at Eastbourne this morning. I gather it’s to promote the new Pirates film, which is out today. I’m about twelve or fifty films behind in that series, frankly.

Anyhoo! Rejoice! I have finished my work (including my guts homework), a long weekend stretches before us and tomorrow is the first of the big country fairs. It is time to par-tay.

Wait, do people still par-tay? Well, I’m going to par-tay like it’s 1837. Good weekend, y’all!

May 26, 2017 — 9:00 pm
Comments: 13

This is why I hate the art world

snowwhite

Alcoholic Snow White? That’s hilarious!

Oh. Wait. You’re serious? Like very, very serious? Like Disney Princesses face Rape and Murder kind of serious?

Sigh. My first taste of this was Dadaism, which I thought was playful and fun when I first read about it as a wee lass. Turns out, it’s not. It’s super cereal.

Eh. The photographer is a kid still in art school. Good on her for figuring out how to manipulate her milieu into giving her asspats. Which a mature her can convert into genuinely good art, I hope. Maybe even something playful and fun.

May 10, 2017 — 9:16 pm
Comments: 12

Huh. That’s kind of…huh.

emoji

It’s a modern Dutch building, where the gargoyles are emojis.

I’m torn on this one. On the one hand, modern architecture is so plain and dire and serious and determined to impose sick-making non-Euclidean silhouettes on the landscape.

On the other hand, emojis.

The firm that designed it is Attika Architekten. Hit the link for more pitchas.

May 8, 2017 — 7:13 pm
Comments: 18

But are you bad enough?

kitty

It is one of my great regrets that I never visited the Museum of Bad Art when I was in the States. It’s in the basement of a movie theater in Somerville, Mass. I had a job right around the corner; I could’ve nipped out at lunch.

But with a gargantuan sigh of relief I note — nothing of mine has made it into the collection. Yet.

When I moved, see, my studio was a complete mess, so the real estate agent suggested I take out everything I wanted to keep and let the disposal guys hoover out the rest while I was out of town. Less traumatic for me. Lots and lots of bad early Weasels ended up in the dumpster, or worse.

On May 6, they’re hosting a free event inviting the public to bring along horrible art for evaluation. You have to think anything truly MOBA-worthy will be something somebody plucked from the trash. No genuinely awful artist is capable of recognizing his own horror; quality blindness is a necessary prerequisite.

Anyway, do spend some time browsing their collection and reading the captions. Never fails to cheer me up!

Oh, and happy National Tea Day. We celebrated by buying a teapot today!

Nah, not really. We bought a teapot today because Elbows here knocked the old one over and smashed it earlier this week. Good weekend, all!

April 21, 2017 — 6:54 pm
Comments: 13

Blacker than a very black thing indeed

vantablack

You’ve probably seen this stuff in the news: Vantablack. It’s called “the blackest black.” It’s a coating developed by a company called Surrey Nanosystems made out of teeny nanotubes (I mean, I realize there are no big nanotubes, but bear with me). The thing about these little pigment fragment things is that they’re something like five times longer than they are wide and this, somehow, makes a nest that traps upwards of 98% of the light that falls on them. It gets closer to 100% with every generation.

In practical terms, it means things painted with Vantablack throw back so little light that we simply cannot perceive them as three dimensional. In the still above (taken from this video) a spherical lollipop shape is dragged across a flat shape, both coated in Vantablack, and your eyeballs just cannot deal. Follow the link and look at some of the other videos. It’s very cool.

This has obvious military applications, which is what funded the development, I feel sure. But it has obvious artistic applications, too. And here follows a fun bit of drama.

There’s a London-based artist named Anish Kapoor who works with architects to make those big dreary public sculptures that are, like, simple shapes supposed to be chock full of meaning or some shit. The mirror finish ones are okay; at least they reflect things around them in an interesting way. Anyway, he stepped in and bought the license to Vantablack for art. In other words, only artist Anish Kapoor may use Vantablack.

I can’t imagine many artists would have a use for this stuff, outside the kind of people who paint bullfighters and Elvises on velvet, but that’s just the sort of dick move that pisses off ‘the art community’ to no end.

So there’s this other London artist named Stuart Semple (his art sucks too, by the way) who worked with paint chemists to develop what he calls “the pinkest pink.” Anybody can buy it, except Anish Kapoor. You have to tick a little box that says I am not Anish Kapoor before you can check out.

As security goes, that’s not the strongest, and it wasn’t long before Anish Kapoor posted a picture of his middle finger coated in the pinkest pink.

So yesterday, Semple fired back. He went to his pet paint chemists and they developed what he calls Black 2.0 — not quite as black as Vantablack, but much cheaper, needs no special handling and, most important, available to people who are not Anish Kapoor.

I’m trying to talk myself into buying some (he’s selling it for what it costs to make, in a mad frenzy of virtue signaling). But I can’t imagine I have a use for it. I hated Elvis.

Good weekend, everyone!

March 31, 2017 — 7:58 pm
Comments: 30