After you stare at this a while, the mouths follow you when you move, all over the room. Word.
p.s. I think “the president said some words” is an aceism, but I can’t find it.
May 16, 2013 — 10:27 pm
Oh, that was sweet, wasn’t it? That look on Obama’s face at the Gun Control FAIL presser? Oooo…the preznit, he mad.
That was the one bright spot in a pretty rough news week.
April 18, 2013 — 11:10 pm
New Secretary of State John Kerry reported for duty Monday, acknowledging that as Hillary Rodham Clinton’s successor he has “big heels to fill“…
Could somebody just…I dunno…come up behind me and smack me upside the head with a shovel until the ouch goes away? Thenk yew.
February 4, 2013 — 10:19 pm
That thing about “the photograph may not be manipulated in any way…” is standard boilerplate for the White House Flickr stream. It gives me a little thrill of pleasure whenever I pinch one of their photos for ‘Shopping, but for all I know, it’s been there since the Bush White House (assuming the White House had a Flickr stream then).
But, you know. Fun’s fun.
Say, ummm…what is this supposed to prove, exactly? Thanks to Twitter, I think, our national political conversation is something like
February 2, 2013 — 11:03 pm
There’s a bit of a mystery and a bit of a buzz here — Adobe appears to have released the entire CS2 version of its Creative Suite, legal serial numbers and everything, for free. That’s Acrobat 3D 1.0, Acrobat Standard 7.0, Acrobat Pro 8.0, Audition 3.0, GoLive CS2, Illustrator CS2, InCopy CS2, InDesign CS2, Photoshop CS2, Photoshop Elements 4.0/5.0 and Adobe Premiere Pro 2.0. Either all together in a big, fat suite, or à la carte. Nobody is sure why.
Each of those programs alone was hundreds of dollars new. The catch is, “new” was 2005. While this may cause problems for Mac users, not so much for Windows users. I know several people still using the CS version of Photoshop, so CS2 should be a doddle to run.
As y’all know, I’ve just expensively upgraded my Photoshop from CS3 to CS6 and, while there are lots of incremental tweaks and improvements, the difference is hardly dramatic. Before that, I had CS, and before that Photoshop 6. Frankly, the basic guts of the thing haven’t changed in…ever, really.
So I downloaded and installed the Illustrator and InDesign components this afternoon (two excellent bits of Adobe kit I’ve used in the past and couldn’t afford to buy for myself). They installed fine, accepted the serial numbers and appear to be running with no problems. I registered them to my official account as if they were legitimate, because as far as I’m concerned, they are…until Adobe tells me otherwise.
This could be a clever bit of marketing from Adobe. You know, get people hooked on an old version and hope to make a customer for life. But if that’s the case, why aren’t they advertising it at all? The download page is just sitting there, no promotional blurb, no index page, no link of the front…nothing. I have no idea who discovered it and started spreading the word.
This could be a stupid move on Adobe’s part, as these versions are probably good enough for most people. In which case, I’d expect them to recant real soon now.
Zo! If you’ve ever wanted Photoshop (or any other Creative Suite component) but gagged at the price, I’d scoot on over and grab this. Quick. Before they change their minds.
(Thanks to Don for the heads up).
Update InDesign and Illustrator seem to be working okay for me, Windows7 64-bit professional. Photoshop crashed thrice for Uncle B, running XP on a ThinkPad, so he’s uninstalling it. So. Word to the wise.
January 8, 2013 — 10:48 pm
My copy of Photoshop CS6 arrived today. Yes, physical disk in the mail, if you please. For that kind of money, I want something made of atoms AND electrons. Why they chose to illustrate the box with an alopecia sufferer covered in Stridex acne pads, I have no idea.
This might be my last upgrade, depending on the direction Adobe goes.
To recap, for anyone interested, Adobe products have always been a bit expensive (but generally worth it). About ten years ago, they decided they wanted people to buy their products in whole suites, rather than individually. So they started giving individual packages eye watering prices.
So let’s say you’d pay $600 for Photoshop and $600 for Illustrator and $600 for Flash, but you’d only pay $1,500 for a suite that included those three products and three or four others. Great deal — provided you needed all that stuff and $1,500 wasn’t a whole shit-ton of scratch to you.
Then, a couple of years ago, they had a new idea. Instead of buying software, you could rent it. Yay! You’d pay a fee every month (currently $29 a month if you sign for a year), in return for which the software package (or suite of packages) on your computer was continuously updated as they improve the software. It’s called the Adobe Creative Cloud.
Does anybody like this? I don’t know. I sure don’t. I won’t have it.
Anyhow, they’ve made another change. Used to be, you could get the new software at the upgrade price for three versions. That is, if you had Adobe Shitmonkey1 you could buy Adobe Shitmonkey4 at the upgrade price. Now they’re saying they’ll make you make the jump every time. Every time. Honestly, there’s a new version every 18 months, and not a whole lot changes even in most major releases.
Adobe must be banking that thousands of sales to big fat corporate clients at ass-raping prices will make them more money than millions of sales to individual schmoes. I hope they’re wrong. Painfully wrong.
So. Upshot. I had until December 31 to upgrade my CS3 to CS6, after which I’d have to buy the full version at the full price. English prices are no joke (it’s the VAT, people!): upgrade £196 ($314), full version £608 ($973).
Feel free to keep talking about video games, anyhow. That’s a lot more interesting than software upgrades. It’s the last weekend of 2012! Let’s get this evil fucker of a year over with, hm?
December 28, 2012 — 11:10 pm
Here they are, the Four Chooks of the Apocalypse. Just tiptoed out and snapped this. As you can see, their feathers have all grown back in and they’re looking fit and ready for Winter.
Angry chicken has issues. Woe be unto anything that perches near her of an evening. I let her have a go at me, so the other chickens can settle in for the night unmolested. I don’t mean she gives me a good pecking; I mean she takes a big beakful of the tender webbing of my thumb and worries it like a terrier. Angry, angry chicken.
Shy chicken is shy among chickens but is the most aggressive with intruders. She’ll lunge at any cat that comes near — head down, butt in the air, wing feathers all spread out. She can make herself look as big as a turkey. The inside cat is terrified of her.
Crazy chicken just plain ain’t all there. She never walks anywhere. She zooms. She is scream-propelled. NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH flap-flap-flap-flap.
Bossy chicken is the Mary Poppins of chickens — practically perfect in every way. Everybody is terrified of bossy chicken. All Hail Bossy Chicken.
Now, me hearties, I have just learned that I must upgrade my Photoshop by December 31 or I fall off the upgrade ladder (I’m using CS3 and they’re up to CS6 now; that’s as far as they’ll stretch it). Two hundred pounds is a lot of money for me to scare up at Christmas time. That means I must make many lovely, cruel, jug-eared Obama ‘shops in the New Year (perhaps I’ll finally nail his likeness in his second term).
But for now, I need to go away until it scabs over a little. And by “go away” I mean post about chickens and recipes and the stupid things English people say. I shan’t be reading news and political blogs for a while (I don’t know who I hate reading more after a stinging defeat — our side or theirs). Feel free to talk about anything you like in the comments, though.
Have an awesome weekend!
November 9, 2012 — 2:29 pm
Still recycling the old Obama ‘shops. Think of it as sympathetic magic. Sweep them all away, make room for…Romney ‘shops, I guess.
Oh, and happy Bonfire Night! Sussex does Guy Fawkes in a big way (it’s kinda personal; Bloody Mary torched seventeen citizens in Lewes during that whole Catholic/Protestant thing). There will be firework displays in various villages all month long (though we’ve had a lot of rain this Fall and sodden fields have canceled some of our favorites).
In honor of the Actual Night, we just went out and let off a few Roman candles (Roman candles, get it?).
Yay Parliament! Boo Popery!
Whaddya think – am I blending in?
November 5, 2012 — 8:45 pm
Yesterday, @exjon did the quick and dirty Photoshop on the left and posted it to Twitter. His next tweet was: for the record, it’s a fake. I mean, duh.
So the file was picked up — somehow — by the blog Forensic Photoshop, which analyzed the digital image using…ummm…digital image analysis software. It works by transforming pixels into random, glowing magenta blobs and making the president look like Curious George. It’s science. Just not as we know it.
His conclusion? Yes, it’s a cut/paste forgery.
I can’t quite capture the gallumphing cluelessness of his tone, so do go read it in the original Knuckleheadese.
So, let’s all take a deep breath. Vote with intelligence, not emotion. And, please, let’s resist the urge to use Photoshop in such nasty ways. Let’s make art, and clarify images – let’s not use such a wonderful tool to confuse and anger and annoy. Help make Photoshop a noun again.
What-what-what? Dude, that would be the end of this blog, right there.
November 4, 2012 — 5:06 pm
This is my favorite Obama Photoshop. Just before Obama delivered his State of the Union speech in January of 2010, perky Katie Couric tweeted this:
Just had lunch with the president who seems pensive, slightly deflated, realistic, aggravated and resolute. Didn’t eat his pie.
Somehow, that didn’t eat his pie thing just cracks me up.
Yeah, I know. I don’t usually post on weekend, but I thought I’d recycle some graphics. With any luck, I won’t need them again.
November 3, 2012 — 6:16 pm