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Artist’s reconstruction

sotu

I didn’t watch the SOTU, but I watched the MSM coverage and I’m pretty sure this is exactly how it went down. (Actually, I played around with Hitler tattoos and popping the heads off baby bunnies but in the end, I wasn’t feeling it).

Actually, I’ve been very gratified at the reactions I’ve read. Not the MSM, obviously — real people. And ones not normally inclined to approve of Trump.

February 1, 2018 — 9:43 pm
Comments: 9

State of the Union 2018

sentience

denture

 

 

I didn’t watch the SOTU. I never do. My spleen won’t take it, no matter who’s in office.

I caught the pictures of Nancy’s face, though — holy shit! Who was THAT performance supposed to appeal to?

p.s. Wow, just noticed how overcontrasty this picture is. I think my new toy needs a bit of adjustment.

 

 

January 31, 2018 — 9:32 pm
Comments: 8

Nah. Probably not.

moses

Y’all know it’s not going to be like this, right? They’re going to break our hearts. They always do.

They’re going to release the memo, and it’s going to be a big, fluffy nothingburger and fries and all the cool kids will laugh at us. Again.

Please, events — prove me wrong!

January 30, 2018 — 9:19 pm
Comments: 19

I am now officially cooler than all y’all

tablet

Oh my god, you guys — I have wanted one of these since…since it was invented. That’s maybe 20 years ago now. It’s a monitor, but you draw directly on it.

Maybe that doesn’t sound all that keen, but it solves the big problem with computer tablet: you can look at your hand, or you can look at the monitor, but you can’t look at both at once. That makes it extremely hard to draw. Or write legibly.

As with other tablets, the main brand is Wacom and their monitor version is the Cintiq. And that sucker, in its 20″ form, is almost £2,000.

Enter the Chinese. I’ve bought a cheap knockoff — for all I know, made in the same factory as the Cintiq — for less than a quarter of the price. And it came with a snazzy glove. Well, part of one.

It came this morning. I was going to use it as a second monitor, but I’m awfully tempted to use it as my only monitor. It is Just That Good.

My main concern is going blind. No, really…I’m sitting with my nose practically pressed against the screen. And I’m loving it. My optomowotsit told me that my eyes weren’t deteriorating, they were just…stuck in the peasant lace-makers position from all the close work I do.

p.s. That is not my computer. It is not my hand. I stole them from here, and added my chicken. Because that’s the kind of thing you can do really fast WHEN YOU HAVE AN AWESOME MONITOR TABLET!!!

January 25, 2018 — 7:23 pm
Comments: 18

Now, this is getting out of hand…

franken grope

The search term I used on Google images was “franken grope” — I knew that would call the one I wanted up, and it did.

If anyone needs it, I think I kept the exploitable pieces. That is, a cutout of Al that can be plastered to any tits you choose.

November 27, 2017 — 8:22 pm
Comments: 13

I wish I’d thought of this…

queendonald

New Jersey graphic artist Michal Krauthamer ‘shops The Donald’s face onto various Queens of England. It works shockingly well. (I found them in this Anorak article, which includes my favorite examples).

It helps the joke that they’re good clean Photoshops, but then I would say that.

I once did a comic P’shop of Her Maj. Once. A commenter I’d never seen before (or since) turned up and posted with menace “Do not. Photoshop. The Queen.”

I’ll be honest, fam, I was skeert.

January 31, 2017 — 7:40 pm
Comments: 16

Last one, I promise

hillaryeye3

Something a little different today.

Well, I’ve had fun. I hope you’ve had fun. Bitch makes so many goofy faces, I could do this for the rest of my life.

But I won’t. I promise.

Meet you back here next week for Xmas Countdown…! Good weekend, y’all!

December 16, 2016 — 9:48 pm
Comments: 14

I call this one ‘tragicomic’

hillary4

Once again, the big version required no Photoshopping at all. The picture was knicked from this article in Politico. I recommend it. It’s schadenfreudelicious!

We went to the office Christmas party tonight. Read: room full of elderly academics drinking wine and reading poetry aloud. It was a strange and wonderful thing.

December 15, 2016 — 10:58 pm
Comments: 13

Wednesday’s Hillary is full of woe

hillaryweds

Sadly, the big color version is not very big or very sharp. The original image was soft. But I liked her face. You know…in a horrible, mocking way.

I did a little P’shop on this one. Believe it or don’t, the first two this week were not ‘shopped in any way.

She is just. That. Haggard.

December 14, 2016 — 9:12 pm
Comments: 10

Aw, let’s do this again

hillaryeye2

The big version isn’t very big on this one, but I loved the look on her face.

Contrary to some of my cherished commenters, I’m confident in saying this woman will never, ever be president. Any chicanery big enough to put her in office would probably result in a civil war.

It’s like when people ask me if I’m comfortable taking dual citizenship. And the answer is — I realize it’s possible the US and the UK would go to war with each other and I might have to make an unpleasant choice, but the conditions necessary to make that happen within my lifetime would be so catastrophic and huge that I probably wouldn’t survive them anyway.

There, now. I’d better get busy. I brought some work home with me, and it’s not even fun work — it’s proofreading an Honour Roll of the local WWI dead. The most horrible of horrible wars, I hate everything about that one.

December 13, 2016 — 8:42 pm
Comments: 13