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Wait…what?

Can someone explain to me why Obama’s power grab is not a huge loss for immigrant activists?

■ it potentially applies to only five of the ten to twenty million total illegals.

■ it requires a lot of paperwork. Don’t discount this one. As someone who’s been through the immigration mill, lemme tell you the time, money and angst involved in pleasing a bureaucrat is terrifying.

■ coming out of the shadows requires coming out of the shadows — identifying yourself, giving your location and confessing to lawbreaking. Maybe confessing lawbreaking on behalf of associates and employers, as well.

■ the deal is only as good as long as Obama’s in office. I can’t imagine any Republican president would be so delightfully cruel as to deport they asses after they come clean, but that doesn’t mean the terms of the deal will stay the terms of the deal. With the backlogs that are sure to happen (good luck getting extra money out of Congress to add capacity), it’s likely the typical applicant won’t make it through the whole process before O and his travelling circus of executive orders is long gone. Who buys a pig in a poke?

and the big one…

■ delivering a giant Fuck You to the Republican base in their moment of triumph kills any chance of serious GOP cooperation over anything in the next two years — but especially on immigration. Boehner and our RINO betters would love to have given O the kind of comprehensive immigration suppository he supposedly craves, but that’s out of the question now. If they pass anything at all, it’ll have to look a whole helluva lot tougher than what might’ve passed before.

In fact, the whole thing is such an enormous shitburger for the left, I have to wonder — for the umpteenth time with this guy — is he truly this incompetent, or is there some diabolical hidden lefty advantage I’m not seeing?

November 24, 2014 — 9:35 pm
Comments: 16

Well done, everyone!

Did he ever have that stupid press conference this afternoon, or what?

November 5, 2014 — 10:52 pm
Comments: 16

Hillary feels ya

Dear posterity: current events reference here (warning: Slate link).

June 11, 2014 — 10:08 pm
Comments: 17

Full moon over Westminster

Not a very good likeness, but this is my first attempted Farage.

Attempted Farage. Huh. Sounds like something you’d get arrested for after a stag party.

Anyway, there’s all sorts of reasons why Thursday’s election was not the beginning of the revolution in Britain. But it was a thing of beauty still, and I’m a great believer in savoring the moment. So here it is:

UKIP: 27.49%
Labour: 25.40%
Conservatives: 23.93%
Greens: 7.87%
LibDems: 6.87%

Savor, damn you!

May 26, 2014 — 10:11 pm
Comments: 13

Such a bright looking lad

London barber posts pic of Kim Jong Un under the headline “Bad Hair Day?” gets visit from Nork embassy goons. Both sides reported to to police. Nothing will come of it.

I love the Kims. I mean, I don’t, obviously — they’re vile and horrible tyrants. But I love the way they confirm my theory that no checks and too much praise invariably turns humans into monsters.

April 15, 2014 — 9:44 pm
Comments: 12

A pun: I made you one

Though, honestly, if the Reverend Al really was ratting out mobsters in the Eighties, that’s the most praiseworthy thing on his resume. Why are we mad at him?

April 8, 2014 — 9:34 pm
Comments: 32

A quickie

Because it’s been entirely too cultured around here lately.

April 3, 2014 — 9:37 pm
Comments: 13

The hero Gotham needs…?

Look, I can explain. I saw this picture of a guy in a fur collar, and I thought it totally…nah. You know what, I can’t explain. It’s a superhero. You don’t want to know his superpower. But bear in mind, I’m ending all arguments from here on with POW! Mangina!

Have you ever thought how incredibly American the superhero is? Oh, the idea of a morally upright man with supernatural powers who solves problems extra-judicially — that one’s pretty much universal.

But only in America could we come up with a way to enjoy nudity without all those icky, unAmerican genitals and nipples and pubes and such.

Well, except this guy. Obviously.

March 27, 2014 — 11:39 pm
Comments: 22

Leader of the band

They’ve put ewes in the little field in front of the house, for lambing time is upon us. Which is nice. Today, I looked up to see the whole flock walking toward me. That’s an odd thing — sheep are shy of people. Particularly strangers. Particularly in strange places. Particularly at lambing time.

And then I spotted Jack, leading the parade. It was the oddest sight. The sheep weren’t trotting; they weren’t running him off. The were slowly walking, converging on him, like they were curious. And he was sashaying in front, calmly, waving his wild tail, not looking back, like he couldn’t give a ripe fuck.

He’s going to be trouble, this one. He’s had his first night out, and his first day outside while we ran errands. Last week, a cab driver spotted him sunning himself in the middle of the road and carried him to the nearest house. That would be our neighbor next door, who said he not only waltzes into her house like he owns the place, he wanders in and out of the house next door to her.

I tried to make the appointment for the ol’ snip snip, but ran into scheduling problems. I don’t imagine it’ll slow him down much.

March 18, 2014 — 10:08 pm
Comments: 18

The news makes me feel like I been takin’ crazy pills

Hey, we recycle in this household, pal!


I’m calling the Dead Pool for Carl. Chicken Farmer picked Tony Benn first, but it was his second pick so it doesn’t count. So sorry, Chicken Farmer — I’d love to give a dick to another chookophile, but rules is rules.

This is Carl’s second win, but he has yet to claim his first dick. If you step forward, C, you get *2* dicks. And also maybe me turning up some day asking to sleep on your sofa.

Your call.

March 17, 2014 — 10:28 pm
Comments: 18