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Wow. I think the BBC forgot how to BBC.

We’re getting pretty desperate for stuff to watch on TV these days. We both favor non-fiction — documentaries, science, history, that sort of thing — and the BBC has arrived at a rigid formula for this kind of programming that is just unbearably dumbed down and insulting.

First of all, they’re clearly hoping each new presenter will turn out to be some kind of enduring BBC superstar. The whole series will be written through the eyes of some unattractive douche-canoe you never heard of and her meaningful journey to discover some boring shit that is peripheral to the main topic. (I blame Carl Sagan and Cosmos for this phenomenon).

This person will invariably have a serious speech impediment. The successful candidate will be a young fat goth chick, an old skinny goth chick or a dweeby guy of ambiguous sexuality. He or she will have a PhD in something. Go figure.

For certain sure, the presenter will NOT be an elderly white man who knows what the fuck he’s talking about.

There will be much dumbness, condescension and breathless reporting of facts that were once regarded as common knowledge. Oh, and animations. Silly ones in the style of Terry Gilliam with goofy music. Tubas and or kazoos feature prominently here.

So we feared the worse for the most recent BBC program we recorded, a three parter on the British food harvest. But…actually…its awesome.

I know you USAians can’t use the BBC iPlayer, but if you click the link, I think it’ll allow you to play clips and look at charts and stuff. The program is chock full of big robot machines driven by GPS satellite, fun science facts and nifty gadgets for measuring the moisture content of grain and much more. Also, capitalism. And it isn’t dumb at all.

But here’s the thing — we’ve watched two of the three programs, and there has been a noticeable absence of these words: organic. Sustainable. Climate change. Shoot, they even revisited how plants love, love, LOVE some sweet CO2.

The BBC.

You reckon we’ve maybe turned a corner on globular warmening at last?


Comment from dissent555
Time: September 16, 2013, 10:56 pm


The only poison that is absolutely required for animal life to exist as we know it.

Oxygen is plant poo. Get over it.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: September 16, 2013, 11:08 pm

The Weasel speaks truth. BBC drama has become unwatchable. Clunky plots written by 20-somethings are designed to deliver whatever messages the bien pensants wish the unwashed masses to imbibe. And there must always be an ethnic as the hero. Not an ethnic Brit, of course.

You lot (‘merkins) are villains. Always. It’s the law.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 16, 2013, 11:28 pm

First fire of the season tonight. Stupid global warming.

Comment from scottthebadger
Time: September 16, 2013, 11:35 pm

Ah, the good old round bale. Before I die, I wanna see a round baler with a kicker. That would be so cool to watch!

Comment from Nina
Time: September 16, 2013, 11:47 pm

Oh, I hope so. It’s going to take a while for the brainwashing to wear off, though.

Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: September 16, 2013, 11:53 pm


Comment from JeffS
Time: September 17, 2013, 12:27 am

You reckon we’ve maybe turned a corner on globular warmening at last?

Well, apparently the IPCC is backing off on their global warmening crap.

But they are doubling down on Teh Stoooopid™ by claiming they have an “increased confidence” when it comes to their climate change hypothesis.

Meh. Lefties can never admit to a mistake. Never. It’s the law.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: September 17, 2013, 3:52 am

You lot (‘merkins) are villains. Always. It’s the law.

Thanks, you just made my day.

You reckon we’ve maybe turned a corner on globular warmening at last?

I’m happy that at least some Minitrue outlets (outside the US) are starting to admit global worming ain’t happening, but I bet a dollar that doesn’t last.

I had a bet that global warmmongers would be blaming the coming ice age on global worming by 2012.
I might just have been a couple years early in my prediction.

Always bet on ignorance and hysteria in our fine, smug, media betters.

Comment from Brad
Time: September 17, 2013, 7:30 am

It had been a long afternoon, especially when nothing was going right. So, I came in, threw myself into the man chair and clicked on the tube. First channel, soccer. Man, I HATE soccer. Second channel, lawn bowls…OH, MAN! Third channel…replays of Prime-minister’s Questions. Last chance, BBC2. It’s a mini-bio that BBC does where you spend half an hour trying to figure out why they are following this person around. Like the one about the nine year old kid in London where I waste fifteen minuets before I realize it’s just a nine year old kid in London.

This one seems to be about three supermodels, or something. Anyway, three chicks that get invited to more parties than I do. One minuet they are trying on thousand pound (money) dresses and the next stop, to get their nails done. (It takes all of ten seconds to want to find new and exotic ways to kill three supermodels.) Then, while they are getting their nails done one of them tells a joke.

It seems a particular and rising young fellow stops by a tattoo parlor and asks to have a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his money maker (I’ve only got room for a couple of ones and some change). The tattooist is impressed and says he’ll do it for free if the gent will supply the reason as to why. The gent says ” I have three reasons, to whit: One, I like to play with my money; two, I like to watch my money grow; three…” CHANGE OF SCENES!!! BBC! YOU JERKS…WHAT’S THE PUNCHLINE?

So, we go through a few scenes where the models are doing this or that. Me? I’m trying to think what the punchline could be and, damning BBC in the vilest terms. Then, as a couple of the chicks are at a little round table with drinks in long stem glasses, you hear a screechy voice from off camera: “…and if the ol-lady wants to blow a hundered bucks, she can do it at right at home.”

Comment from GIL
Time: September 17, 2013, 1:16 pm

Don’t know if you feel like forking out a few quid, but if you can get an HD copy of the BBC series Human Planet, you will find the spectacular limits the BBC used to be known for and can still do if there’s enough dosh behind the production. Each episode takes on a terrain–Mountains, Grasslands, Rivers, Arctic, etc. Then they focus in on individuals, families, etc. going about their daily business or jobs–like wearing a scarf and carrying empty baskets into a smoking sulphur mine on top of a mountain, filling it up with smoking yellow chunks, and then hauling the poisonous chunks through a few mountain passes to pick up their 60p wages for the day. Unbelievable. You won’t be disappointed!

Comment from thefritz
Time: September 17, 2013, 1:51 pm

What is up with this?! http://tinyurl.com/qyyufmp

Comment from Tibby
Time: September 17, 2013, 3:47 pm

“You reckon we’ve maybe turned a corner on globular warmening at last?”
Oh I sure as hell hope so. But there are still so many idiots out there who don’t know how to switch lanes.

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: September 17, 2013, 4:28 pm

Sweas: “You reckon we’ve maybe turned a corner on globular warmening at last?”

Nope. Don’t trust the BBC or the climate-doomsayers as far as I can throw ’em. They’ve been steeped in progressive ideology for so long they’re a lost cause.

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: September 17, 2013, 5:20 pm

I used to like BBC productions [other than their news, because yes we are automatically the villains] but I have noted the lowering of quality. I don’t know if it is causual or coincidence; but it seems to be related to the amount of BBC ratepayer money expended on cover-ups of the seemingly widespread unorthodox sexual preferences of many of the stars for children, from Jimmy Savile on.

At least if the reports of charges and coverups in the Brit papers are to be believed.

When any organization has the power of the State behind it, and cannot be questioned; corruption becomes both endemic and the primary product of the organization. And that applies, by the way, to both sides of the Atlantic.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from BJM
Time: September 17, 2013, 7:54 pm

This person will invariably have a serious speech impediment…et al

Hmmmm…Lucy Worsley (skinny, twee lisp), Helen Castor (dowdy with an excellent grasp of the obvious), Bettany Hughes (fat, blowsy and tedious, never a good combination) and Nigel Spivey (uber sincere repeater of facts well known whilst standing in front of moss covered stone work) leap to mind.

btw- look for Beeb and UK programs on Youtube…most of the production houses keep a close watch on current programming and take down content, but older stuff seems to be readily available and some uploader’s quality is quite good. Get Youtube on your TV via a Tivo or BluRay DVD player and Bob’s your uncle!

I recently watched a history of BBC2’s Scotland’s clans. Here’s a link to Episode 1 – The Armstrongs


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 17, 2013, 8:53 pm

Of all of them, I rather like Lucy Worsley. She’s silly.

Then there’s the guy who did the English church art series (good series, bad lisp). And that horrible, horrible lisping old troll who did the series on small museums. And the terribly earnest one with the unpronounceable name who did the British sacred places series. And I swear nearly half of all BBC presenters have that Elmer Fudd thing going.

Comment from BJM
Time: September 18, 2013, 1:14 am

Lucy’s history of the bathroom was pretty amusing…she’s game I’ll give her that.

Oh, how about the horror show that is Clarissa Dickson Wright? My God, someone needs to throw a sack over her when she eats and she’s reviewing food!

And I swear nearly half of all BBC presenters have that Elmer Fudd thing going.

I think most of them are so confused after a lifetime of suppressing their native accents that Fudd seems normal.

We enjoyed Diarmaid MacCulloch’s “How God Made the English” but his accent is almost parody. Now I’ll hear his cadence when I read his books…not a plus.

Comment from McGyver
Time: September 18, 2013, 5:08 am

douche-canoe Ha Got to be the best generic putdown name since “asshat”

McGyver, out

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