sweasel.com

Worms? Playing Gin in my snout? That’s unpossible!

And allow me to say hello – longtime lurker, first time poster. I usually don’t much to say, but I think you guys are great!

Glenster… I’m thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, they historically play Pinochle in snouts but decided to live life on the wild side.

Weas, the cigar makes the pic. It the centerpiece of the work. Intentional or no?

All’s I know is, somebody mentioned cigars.

Twas I. :0)

Ya never know: they might be playing Texas Hold-em. Weaz – I see you ran into the same problem Gary Larson complained about with regard to his snake cartoons in Farside: how do snakes (or worms) hold anything? You handled it more nartistically than he did.

Say! That’s quite the li’l carnivore! I bet he rips crap outa fingers and hands and such. Good. That’s why God put skin on our outsides – for kitties to rip to bloody shreds. It gives ’em sumpin to do…

LOL…. You think thats bad, you should see him when I pull out the Tuna and shrimp treats. He’s like the little kid in “A league of their own” running up going “GIMME, GIMME GIMME!!!” 🙂

The little shit is growing like a weed…..

The physicist Schrödinger (I got that li’l dotty-thing in there, so pbbbbt! ) wrote a thingy called a Wave Equation that described (amongst other things) the probability of a particle being found in a particular place at a particular time in a particular state. Or whatever…

Perfect name for a kitty. After all, everyone knows they can teleport, and that their current location has nothing whatsoever to do with where they will be in another instant….

R.I.P. Miss Grandam (2004-2008)

She was a good car. Smooth ride. Great mpg on the highway.
PAID OFF, as of 2 months ago. Had many good years left.
*sniff*

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3238/2613162957_962dda6e4b_o.jpg

Biggles does not approve.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3057/2613996442_df8da23af3_o.jpg

weasel, can you lower the bucket and get my sad behind out of the pit?

Oh! I just had a gander at your site, Glenster! Very cool!

I collect 78s and one of my first web pages was an effort to record, restore and share some of my favorites (generally novelty records; preferably pre-1925). I got a process down, but it was pretty cumbersome and I eventually lost interest.

Rescued, PnB. It’s a pity Akismet doesn’t have a facility for whitelisting users.

Wow! That’s an impressive boo-boo, PnB. What happened?

The son was coming home from work and misjudged oncoming traffic and made a left turn into it. Car clipped him and spun him around. Set airbags in both cars off. Thank God the other car wasn’t bigger than ours and thank God noone was hurt.

Insurance adjuster won’t be able to look at it until next week, but they said over the phone that it sounds like they will total it. Towing guy said the same from what he sees.
We just filled her up too. $50. I liked that car. And we paid it off recently trying to get rid of some debt in the event Stalin takes over the country next year. *sigh*

Looks like the boy will be working the rest of the summer to pay the deductible, instead of saving for school.

Ouch. That’s totally fracked, PB. I hope you whacked the guy’s ass with a boat paddle for that one.

Serious wreck. Glad no one was hurt.

Biggles is impressive, too, PnB. Is that Beanboy?

When he gets old enough, I’ll have to get this for Schroedinger….

http://www.designverb.com/wp-content/images/2008/02/jeffdeboer.cat8.jpg

Oh, I think being hit by a car and then working all Summer just to make the deductible is a sufficient whack in the ass. I hate to think of all the near-misses I had learning to drive.

PnB, I had three collisions in 3 years, each one almost exactly a year from the last, each one not my fault.

After the last one (which totaled my favorite gold Saturn sport coupe), I walked into my body shop (hateful that *I* had a recurrent body shop) and yelled to nobody in particular, “I thought I told you the last time I was in here to PAINT OVER the bullseye on the side of my carrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!”

I was thinking the guy who hit him.

The boy is a candidate for household slavery, at least through august, I think.

🙂

Ouchie. Glad little Beano is OK. Getting the absolute crap scared out of me in an accident is what made me the driver I am today. (Well, that and paying for my own insurance and tires).

Nothing like it to focus one’s attention on the rules of the road, and consequences of failing to follow them.

Thanks, Weasel! It’s a hobby I enjoy – I was surprised that so many others like it too!

pnb, as I am still recovering from an accident 18 months ago, I can only say I’m glad your kid is ok. Jeez, it can take a long time to heal.

I’m a little slow catching up on posts (got distracted by work. Oh poo.

You handled it more nartistically than he did.

That, McGoo, is because IMHO she’s got more artiste talent in her pinky than Larson did in his entire body. Larson never made a worm show the range of emotion held by worm #4. You can see the agony.

Wow…Sunny Clapp and his Band o’ Sunshine!

Sunny Clapp…they have shots for that now. ;0)

LK – Larson could not nartistically compete with the Weaz. But he sho’ was funny!

Who can quote or describe his LAST Farside strip? Hint: it ran on a Sunday, on the first Sunday in January(?), 199x, I believe.

hint #2: “Quack three times and say, …”

I actually have it – saved – in my scrapbook. Which is packed, but only for a little while longer, by Circe!

Jill – I read that as “They have snots for that now.”

LOL, how about “Larry Funk and His Band Of A Thousand Malodies (er, Melodies)”? “Lyst Reynolds’ Logola Orchestra”? “Steamboat Joe and His Laughin’ Clarinet”?

All real, amazingly….

Well, actually McGoo, I guess you can refer to Biggles as ‘beanboy’ seeing as he makes a bunch of them. He is an impressive boar. Quite stately with his ‘crest’ (eyebrow).

As far as the kid, the accident was his fault. Very bad judgment. And a lesson in how fast your life can change in a split second. Getting skid marks in your drawers and the subsequent paying the piper is plenty punishment. Not to mention the guilt over killing your mom/stranger’s car and the inconvenience to both on all counts. He is sorry and looked like he was going to cry last night.

I still don’t get why he did what he did as he is a super cautious person and prior to last night, would always wait to turn if he felt a tiny bit of apprehension at the approaching mile away car. Oh well, kid has to learn from it, pay the consequences, and move on.

On a different note, them worms playing ‘pinochle’..sorta look like cat turds.

“On a different note, them worms playing ‘pinochle’..sorta look like cat turds.”

What a crappy thing to say…. LOL

Goo – soitenly, I agree with your assessment of Larson, and I hope it didn’t come out wrong. He’s like THE FATHER of twisted humor.

The duck on the counter, and a scientist with a bunch of crossed out “things” like:

oil off a duck’s back
honey off a duck’s back
…and so on, then…
acid off a duck’s back
…more…
water off a duck’s back

And I’m not sure, but this unaware duck is just sitting there quietly just before or just after they tried “acid off a duck’s back”. It was dark, twisted, sick, and fit my personality like a key in a lock.

pnb, I’m starting to feel sorry for your kid. You can tell when they sincerely feel like shit, and it sounds like he ratcheted a few clicks past that. Good learning experience. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, smarter, or… ready to go do it again. 🙂

Jill, that sucks. My son’s friend had the same thing happen to him…rammed into 3 times over the course of a year..not his fault. I cannot imagine having to go through this 3 times.
I’m already scared to see how much our premiums are going to jack. We’ve had a squeaky clean driving record, until now.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, smarter, or… ready to go do it again

That is for sure. And we are quite thankful it wasn’t worse. As you can attest to. I’m sorry it has taken so long for you to heal.

Hmmm, Worms Playing Cards… Does that come on black velvet? That might go well with my painting of Elvis Impersonators Playing Bingo.

Hmmm, Worms Playing Cards… Does that come on black velvet?

Spew warning!!

Hmmm, Worms Playing Cards… Does that come on black velvet?

Well, considering that one of them is saying “Gin”, I’m thinking that they’re on somebody’s liver….

Hmmm, Worms Playing Cards… Does that come on black velvet?

Evidently, this is supposed to be funny. Can someone explain this to me? I really don’t follow. (Sometimes I regret not having lived in the US all my years. I feel like a foreigner sometimes.)

The black velvet, or the worms?

Black velvet is a traditional painting ground for EXTRAORDINARILY tacky paintings. Matadors. Crying Elvises. Dogs playing poker. People used to sell them on the roadside, but I haven’t seen it in years.

There was one guy who painted really, really cool space scenes on black velvet. I forget where I saw that or when.

The effect is both cool and tacky, because black velvet is so extraordinarily black that paint colors really pop on it.

pnb, it’s getting better. It’s slow, but I’m older and don’t heal like I did 20 years ago. Getting off the pain pills (almost) has been a fantastic leap forward for me. Stashiu threw out the idea that there are times when the damn things can end up being part of the problem (make the pain worse). There’s real truth to it, in my experience, and I owe him thanks. Some days they’re necessary but I’m hoping soon, not-so.

Jill, four years prior to this accident (also not my fault) the lady pulled out in front of my 10-day-old 1092miles Nissan Maxima. Never even looked, nor did she have insurance. About 6 blocks from this accident. Sheesh.

Black velvet Elvis, Bubba-Hotep (should have been represented at the Academy Awards), Worms-n-Gin, and a replica of the Cheese Sandwich Jesus… wow, Americana ROCKS.

The Velvet Museum.

Portland, Oregon. Natch.

Thanks, Your Ladyship! Makes sense now.

Oh yeah…Meowschwitz made me laugh, Weasy.

When I saw that drawing it made me think of the dogs/cards one, not that I thought your drawing was tacky Weasel.

I have tacky down pat. My wife and I got married in Vegas. I tried to talk her into the drive-thru wedding place, or getting married by an Elvis impersonator, no sale.

It actually was a great ceremony, the Minister was Baptist. I asked him “isn’t it a little out of bounds for a Baptist minister to be in Las vegas?” His reply, “You have to go where the sinners are.”

Pupster – awesome link! Although, growing up south of the Republic of Portland we tended to not pay too much attention to them if we could help it.

Allen – Bwah-hah-hah!!!

They (another velvet-painting website) seem to favor Republicans!

“Well, considering that one of them is saying “Gin”, I’m thinking that they’re on somebody’s liver….”

Nah, those would have to be flatworms…….

Maybe wearing little Richard Simmons workout outfits. LOL

I used the dogs playing cards image as a model, Allen. It was intentional, so no worries.

I expected to catch shit over “Meowschwitz” Pupster. And I probably deserve to. But it is a high-kill shelter and an omenous pall hangs over the place. Of course, it’s down by the docks in the seedy part of town, so maybe the pall is unrelated. But I don’t think so.

Musli – Weasel was being tactful. Black velvet paintings DEFINE the word tacky, imho. Although those space paintings weren’t too bad…

And I loved Meowschwitz, Weaz. But…of course … I would.

I might be overstepping my bounds, but I don’t think you are going to ‘offend’ too many of the minions with your dark humor Stoaty. We likes it.

Sometimes you just got to wring the giggles right out of a shit situation.

I just didn’t want to self-Godwin, Pups. Not least because I am genuinely stonked by the holocaust. The 20th was an amazing century; our species galloped to our personal best and our personal worst in equal measure, at equal speed.

Still, the parents’ nightmares are the children’s comic books (I just looked for the source of that quotation online, and it didn’t turn up. Anybody recognize it?)

Speaking of velvet…

Did you hear the one about the horrified parents who took their kids to the movie “Blue Velvet” thinking it was the sequel to “Black Beauty”

Re: WWII — Anyone hear about this on Rush today?

That is utterly disgusting, iamfelix.

We are reaping the second generation of the crop the Sixties and Seventies planted and nurtured. A generation of hippies begot a generation of pussy, wimp-losers who moral-equivocate, relative-ize, whine, and logistically squirm out of facing all sorts of aspects of objective reality.

God, I feel sorry for our (well, your) grandchildren.

Gin is yucky! Vodka is yummy and so is rum! And I’m tired of being hit by 16 yr old blond cheerleader types who only get warnings from the cops b/c they’re half-dressed. The last one sandwiched me into some guys 1 day old Nissan Tundra and then was so shook up she couldn’t fucking dial 911.

Don’t know about what will show up on PBS, but the book is a very good one. Also a long one. His thesis is that the entire history of the 20th century can be seen as a long conflict between America/Western Europe and Eurasia (with Germany being part of Eurasia for much of that period). It’s too good a book to be summarized in a blog post, much less a comment–but I highly recommend it.

Allen – I did get married in Vegas. 😛 Awesome Elvis impersonator and all. It was a hoot.

I’m also another loving Meowschwitz.

Nicole, I’m jealous, you got “Elvis” I would have settled for Conway Twitty. 🙂

While we were waiting for the photos and a videotape of the ceremony I threw a couple of bucks at a slot machine and won about $3000. We just stared at each other and then started howling with laughter.

“Acid off a duck’s back” always made me giggle. I got the impression that the scientist at the blackboard had written it but changed his mind and crossed it out, and looked up to see that the scientist with the duck hadn’t noticed the change and was just about to pour the acid.

quack!

I would like to order a Meowschwitz t-shirt as well. I can sell them whilst I follow Lyst Reynolds Logola Orchestra and Steamboat Joe and His Laughing Clarinet from town to town. There’s no snots for that, though.

A friend of mine sings a song about making love to his fourth wife while listening to Surfin’ Bird and lying on the heart-shaped vibratin’ water bed underneath a black velvet painting of Elvis, Jesus and John Wayne in Heaven eating fried chicken and being serenaded by Conway Twitty.

Ay-MAY-ehn.

Hey Weas, would you be able to make a graphic of a cartoon cowboy firing his guns in celebration? The image I have in my head is of a little cartoon man with a huge hat and huge boots, kinda like Yosemite Sam, wearing patriotic colors and yelling “Yee-haw!” Almost like the old Astrodome Home Run Spectacular, but more cartoony.

Weas, I’m down with Meowschwitz as well. I had to turn down a kitty today (he had health issues, and bad socialization) and he’ll probably be “sent east”.

Double-quack, Mrs. Peel. Double-quack.

That sort of humor comes from the same dark part of us that laughs when someone gets hit *really hard*, so much so that it is just comical… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzToNo7A-94

Or the visual from my favorite – WKRP in Cincinnati, where Les gives away turkeys for Thanksgiving by pushing them out of a helicopter, and they “hit the ground like sacks of wet cement”. What a visual for all times.

“As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” Frequently cited as an all-time favorite episode.

It’s 3am. What’m I doing here? I heard a sound like a knuckle rapping gently at the back door. Twenty times. Just waiting for the drugs to kick in, and I’ll be back in dreamland.

Toodles!

Have a hankering for sweasel.com to be read to you by a creepy robot voice? You’re in luck.

Pimp my News? Looks kinda heavy on Huffington’s Post to me. I’d rather listen to Hillary, but that might just be me. 🙂

For physical comedy (which seems random as all heck):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QqUFopqVnU

50 points go to Weas! And Enas Yorl, who set me straight when I misquoted it a short time ago. My dad fell out of his chair and I almost blacked out from laughing so hard.

I’m pimpin’ but keep an eye out for KC, Old Iron, No Runny Eggs, Moron Pundit, and moi, Lemur King to blog the First (maybe last?) Annual Lemur King BBQ Till You Burst Gathering. No, nothing that organized but it looks cool. Ish. I’ll be posting and putting up pics and I think they are too, if they hook into my wireless.

So if you’ll excuse me, MoronBloggers Detroit is about to begin in…sh*t!! Four and a half HOURS. AAAAAAAEEEEIII.

Scubafreak, I almost came back from lunch with a carbon copy of your little Schrodinger.
Occasionally, I hit area thrift stores at lunch time looking for vintage junk du jour.
A lady at the local Saint Vincent DePaul store had a kitten in her arms that she had found wandering.
Kitty was a VERY mellow, clean and well-socialized little miss – obviously someone had been caring for her. I am happy that I had the opportunity to stick my nose in some fresh kitty belly, if only for a little while.
A nice lady in a BMW was taking the kitten home with her. I gave her my number just in case the Happy Wanderette didn’t sit well with Mrs. BMW’s husband.

A nice lady in a BMW was taking the kitten home with her.
I gave her my number just in case the Happy Wanderette didn’t sit well with Mrs. BMW’s husband.

Fresh kitty belly! Is there anything sweeter?

That’s how my family ended up with 9 cats when I was growing up. Abandoned kittens left around stores and offices.

Ah just loves me some fresh kitty belly…and I’m secretly hoping for a telephone call.

Is it my imagination, or does it smell of cat around here?

Just askin’…

I’m partial to the smell of my horses after they’ve had a good workout. Eau d’Equine.

Apropos of nothing, Mule Days was fun this year, as always. The Packer Scramble, and the Chariot Races are the best events IMO.

http://www.muledays.org/index.php

For Uncle Badger, some folks have taken English Riding to whole new heights. Dressage on mules is interesting to say the least.

Sniff.

Sniff.

Nawp. Ain’t cat.

@S.Weasel,

We just added you to PimpMyNews so everyone can listen to our creepy robots reading sweasel.com to them on their iPhones, iPods and computers.

Here’s your “talking page”:
http://www.pimpmynews.com/SharePlayer.aspx?feed=1191

@Gnus – There’s 1,200+ blogs on the Categories page.