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one chicken leads to another

My first two chooks, Mapp and Lucia. Lucia was alpha hen. She woke up every morning, laid an egg, woke up the others and led them all over the garden, and dropped dead suddenly at three years old.

Mapp started laying six months after Lucia. She lays a handful of eggs every year and then goes broody, sitting on the nest all day trying to hatch baby chicks out of straw. At the end of the Summer, she picks herself up, shakes herself off and rejoins the flock. She will turn eight this Spring.

I tell you, laying eggs isn’t for pussies.

This year, I’m seriously considering calling her bluff. The farm where I bought these two also sells fertilized eggs. I’m thinking of popping half a dozen under Mapp to see what happens.

Most likely to happen: nothing. For once in her miserable life, she doesn’t go broody. Or she doesn’t do it right. Or they aren’t properly fertile.

Worst case scenario: they all hatch and they’re all roosters (but I wouldn’t find this out until I’m completely attached to the little peckerheads). That would be tragic. I couldn’t keep them all, I’d rather not keep even one, but I couldn’t bear to let them go for fox food. I’d have to market them as hand tamed pets and sweeten the deal somehow. Maybe give them away with a little watercolor portrait.

There are all sorts of in-between scenarios, like she could panic and murder those weird little fluffy things that destroyed her precious eggs. That happens sometimes. But ideally (and this is a long shot) I’d get a couple of good hens, and these ones would be properly hand-reared and friendly.

We’ll see. I’ve never heard of a bantam living past nine, so this is Mapp’s last chance. I promised her if she lived through the Winter, we’d give it a try.

She didn’t understand a word of that, of course, but still. You don’t break your word to a chicken.

Have a good weekend, everyone.


Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: March 16, 2018, 11:39 pm

Hmmmm……. no title. OK.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: March 17, 2018, 1:44 am

My older sister lives on the southern border in AZ. She has chickens. A fancy breed with mops on top…polish, I believe they are. Her half dozen hens lay more eggs than she and my mama can eat. Her one rooster, Goliath, is a loud, rude bastard and has free range of their desert acreage because even the coyotes don’t want a piece of him. He’s almost 7 now. She lets him have at the girls every once in a while so she can get some more girls.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: March 17, 2018, 1:46 am

Amongst the few things I can now say proudly I have never done.

I have never broken my word to a chicken.
gold stars all around!

Comment from Pupster
Time: March 17, 2018, 1:45 pm

Just catching up on the weekly comments, I’ve enjoyed the chicken flavoured posts very much.

Browsing though Imgur last week, I saw some comics from a new-to-me artist, I like his style and the background on his page looks kewl. I think you’d like him too, Stoaty.


Comment from AliceH
Time: March 17, 2018, 2:09 pm

Excellent find, Pupster. This is my favorite one so far:

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: March 17, 2018, 3:07 pm

You could create a little narrative for each chick like the pet rescue people write for dogs and cats. “Penelope—likes cracked corn and canned peaches. Good snuggler. Responds well to banjo music. Not for homes with big dogs or trombonists.”

Comment from Steve Skubinna
Time: March 17, 2018, 3:33 pm

So recommending recipes for coq a vin is out of the question?

Comment from Monty James
Time: March 17, 2018, 4:36 pm

I watched “Chicken People” on Amazon Prime last night. Like a real life chicken-based “Best In Show”, but this sort of thing in real life is a little bit darker:

Chicken People on Amazon

Highly recommended, if anyone cares. You’ll understand Weasel a little differently after watching this, perhaps.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 17, 2018, 9:45 pm

That’s been on my playlist since forever, Monty James. I haven’t dared to watch it. I understand there’s…culling.


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: March 17, 2018, 10:56 pm

A thousand thanks, @Pupster, for that link. Quite the imagination, that guy has. Although this might reveal what may fairly be called a character flaw, my favorite so far (I went back to #1) is this one.

Comment from Monty James
Time: March 18, 2018, 5:48 pm

Weasel, there’s a little culling, and some other sad parts, but I don’t think the film lingers too long on them. These are real, three-dimensional characters; they are not cartoon chickens.

Warning, there are some risqué scenes, tastefully done.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: March 18, 2018, 11:37 pm

I didnt win PowerBall last nite. I could have really used that $170 million cash. 🙁

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: March 19, 2018, 2:25 am

If I’d won it, I’d probably have used it to buy a chicken ranch just outside La Grange.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: March 19, 2018, 1:47 pm

You can still win MegaMillion for a paltry $137 million cash post fed taxes. Probably more with Trump’s tax reductions but it is too difficult to calculate. Did it once on the Jan jackpot and it was an extra $10 million. 🙂

Comment from Drew458
Time: March 19, 2018, 3:37 pm

I wonder if a prosthetic egg would make your Mapp happy? Either one of those plastic ones they sell for Easter, or a wooden kind like people used to use to darn socks with. Or maybe just a golf ball? Of course there are official fake eggs too.

Comment from BJM
Time: March 19, 2018, 9:21 pm


LOL! I do love me some ZZ.

Even funnier to me is that La Grange, CA is just up the highway a piece in the Sierra foothills and I do believe they have chicken ranches, and if I’m reading the “Girls, Girls, Girls!” signage correctly, or a close approximation thereof…and a kick ass old school rodeo.

The foothills are still full of cowboys, outlaws and fugitives (running from one thing or another)..their drug of choice has changed from whiskey to Meth and they drive pickups and ride Harleys nowadays.

Hipsters and Coastal investors are trying to gentrify the area with discount shopping, destination restaurants, wineries and twee B&B’s but it’s still pretty much the same as it was in Twain’s day. I do believe the term is colorful.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: March 23, 2018, 1:37 am

One fertilized egg and a dozen Cadbury’s. It’s almost Easter!

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