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Damien Weasel, Cat Scientist

Poor little bastard was set up. She went out first and planted herself at the foot of the stairs. They are arch enemies, so his only escepe was to take a flying leap over her head. The walk was covered in an inch of smooth, melty ice with a skim of water over the top. This is his first Winter and we haven’t had a good freeze yet, so he doesn’t know from ice. He took his leap, hit, made it all the way to the end of the walkway on his ass in one smooth, wet, flailing pinwheel of knees and paws and elbows and turned around with this amazing “whoa! d00d!!1!!” look on his little mug.

Imagine if he still had balls.


Comment from iamfelix
Time: February 19, 2007, 1:53 pm

Kitty drawings!!!

*sound of head ‘asploding*

Comment from Sissy Willis
Time: February 20, 2007, 2:13 pm

That is, I believe, the Miss Moppet look.

Comment from Alissa
Time: February 20, 2007, 5:47 pm

You draw these? Hm.

Do you do rabbits? Draw them, I mean.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 20, 2007, 6:07 pm

I had a friend in high school who only drew rabbits. From the back. Rabbit asses. Not surprisingly, this being her specialty, she got very good at it. She was the Albrecht Dürer of bunny butts.

I’ve mostly drawn rabbits in the process of being mauled by weasels. Weasels do awful things to rabbits, rabbits being their main food source. I found a terrible YouTube about that the other day.

Hm. Bunny butts. There’s a wildlife preserve in the South of England that I like to visit. If you go just at closing time, you’ll catch them feeding the mustelids. Every time I’ve been, they feed the stoats and weasels the back halves of bunnies. What happens to the rest of the rabbit, I have never discovered.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 20, 2007, 6:43 pm

Wow. Thinking about high school art classes, I’ve just awoken a very old braincell.

Our high school art teacher was a hunchback. I mean, for real…she had a spinal deformity. She was an otherwise reasonably attractive woman in her twenties. She was a little nuts, in that way you expected art teachers to be nuts in the seventies, but harmless.

One day, one of my fellow dweebs was having trouble thinking of something to draw and asked her for ideas. She stopped and looked into the middle distance. Her eyes got vague, and she slowly drawled, “I think you should draw dead bodies…floating in a river…under a bridge…on a warm Summer’s day…”

Brrrr. Go back to sleep, old braincell.

Comment from Alissa
Time: February 20, 2007, 9:17 pm


I’ve tried and tried and tried not to do this, but you earned it.


Comment from Gayle Miller
Time: February 21, 2007, 3:54 pm

Brilliantly funny. Shared this with the proprietor of missdoxie.com whose sense of humor is as utterly bizarre as your own. Will be linking to you as soon as I get around to it! You are an absolute lunatic genius!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 21, 2007, 5:45 pm

Well, finally! The “you are a genius” lady shows up at last! Where you been for the last forty-something years?!

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