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Bow before me!

This object is not an ancient god nor an archaeological specimen. It does not predict the future. It never had fabulous jewels for eyes. It doesn’t hum during astrological events.

Or maybe it is and does all of those things, but for sure it’s a shoehorn.

It’s in total about two feet long and brass and I bought it on Ebay as a Christmas present for Uncle B. That’s when I discovered the world of collectible shoehorns.

Just when I think the Internet can’t surprise me.


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 15, 2021, 9:34 pm

Being an old guy with back problems, I sure do love a good shoehorn! I hope that (pick one: □ handsome, □ hideous) brass one you got for Uncle B is a nice, long one. Pro tip: keep the working end polished. I’m not kidding.

Is it just me, or does anyone else see in that thing a satanic cat holding in its mouth bicycle handlebars being swallowed by a two-headed eel?

There were a few interesting ones in that EBay list (the Welsh dragon was nice), but I had to LOL at a couple of categorical clunkers. The caption of a photo of a button hook identified it as a “lace tool”, and another showed a set of three (three?) shoe trees but called them shoehorns.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: June 16, 2021, 1:13 am

Yes, mock collectible shoe horns.
Because collectible nut crackers are soooooo much better,
model railroads


Comment from Mitchell
Time: June 16, 2021, 2:21 am

I feel like I should worship it.
All hail, Cat-God of Easy Slip On Shoes! May His heels always be scuff-free!

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: June 16, 2021, 9:37 am

Wow – how about this one.
A mere trifle at $450 dollars.
Scaled down to a handy travel size no less!


Also – I never pondered the ‘horn’ in shoehorn, and discovered they were originally made from? duh.
Drinking horns, shoe horns, hunting horns, duh durnedyankee.

and while your foot sort of horns in to your shoe…
Horn-in def – Intrude, join without being invited. For example, She has a rude way of horning in on our conversations. This expression alludes to an ox or bull pushing in with its horns. [c. 1900]

Someone can’t sleep 😀

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 16, 2021, 1:04 pm

@durnedyankee — Rhodium? Really? Wow. Just for perspective, the current spot price for an ounce of platinum is about $1,150; gold is $1,850; palladium is $2,800; and an ounce of rhodium will set you back over $22,000.

Edit: This is from Uncle Al. I forgot again I was forgotten.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: June 16, 2021, 8:14 pm

I’m declaring that Rhodium is henceforward to be referred to as Zimbaweeum!

Comment from BJM
Time: June 17, 2021, 5:12 pm

@Al…now I can’t unsee it!

A very cool gift. I wonder if there were cabochons mounted in the eye sockets at some point. It reminds me of “…the terrible Lions’ Mouths. These were the throats down which went the anonymous accusation thrust in secretly in the dead of night by an enemy, that doomed many an innocent man to walk the Bridge of Sighs and descend into the dungeon which none entered and hoped to see the sun again.” – Mark Twain, Innocents Abroad

Or the Bocca della Verità in Roma and Venezia. I thought about putting my hand in the bocca at the Doges palace…but why tempt fate, eh?

Comment from JC Collins
Time: June 22, 2021, 4:20 am

The shoehorn. Ah, an underappreciated instrument. The only one on which one can play footnotes. Yes, I stole that from Peter DeVries.

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