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At 2 am on the morning of the 4th of July, Sussex police were called to a building site in the town of Barnham where a crane had been stolen. Presumably, the reporter watched it drive off.

A few yards up the road, Police heading to the scene found 43 year old Alfie Smith had used the crane to punch a hole in a Co-Op Market in hopes of stealing the ATM.

Which is kind of like the old saying about the dog who chases cars – what would he have done if he had managed it? Driven off at, like, 20 miles an hour in the hot crane? Used the crane to smash the ATM on the pavement in the hopes it would rain £20 notes?

Put it in the van and vamoose in hopes of opening it later? Oh, yes – there was a van. It got away. And a 37-year-old unnamed accomplice who was also arrested at the scene.

I’m going to go out on a limb and speculate that alcohol was involved.

Remember Dead Pool tomorrow. Bring out your dead!


Comment from ExpressoBold Pureblood
Time: July 6, 2023, 7:09 pm

According to my understanding of the posted rules, “dead” is verboten.


Alfie Smith.
He sounds Welsh.

“What’s it all about, Alfie?”

I bet it’s more than weekends in lockup keeping the jailers company. And there is restitution, too, after the insurance payout and premium increase!


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: July 6, 2023, 9:33 pm

Bring out yer moribund!

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: July 6, 2023, 10:36 pm

“I feel happy! I feel happy! “

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: July 7, 2023, 9:15 am

Used to program these things.
They keep the cash cartridges in an armored vault portion that was then about 3/4 inch thick armored plate with little slots like early tank vision slits that the cash spits out through on dispense commands.

Good luck getting into it sans keys or cutting torches.

Heh, and if it’s tipping over when you’re screwing around with it, let it tip if you don’t want some body part to end up looking like strawberry jam.

Comment from BullDawgGuy
Time: July 7, 2023, 3:44 pm

Checking WBT

Comment from Steve
Time: July 7, 2023, 4:05 pm

Time check

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