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Day of Suck

flying out the UK

Right. Here we go. This is an absolute asshole of a journey, on so many levels.

I am not a happy bunny. I am, in fact, a pretty hungover and sad bunny. My plane doesn’t leave until 6, so we can have a leisurely morning of it, but that makes everything all the later out the other end.

Heathrow is a multiculti snake pit. The gate is miles from the check in. The moving walkways are a sort of Möbius strip; you walk and walk without getting where you’re going. And somehow keep bumping into that bastard MC Escher coming back the other way.

The brisk tail wind that wafts me gently into England is a head wind going back, adding an hour at least to the flight. By the time I arrive and make it through customs, I will just miss one bus and wait an hour for the next. Then it’s a short cab ride home. Have you ever grabbed a cab for a short hop? They don’t thank you for it.

By then, it’s midnight local time. Five a.m. in my head. Shuffle through two weeks worth of voice messages and bills and into bed. I have to go to work bright and early tomorrow. No, really.

And that’s if everything goes as well as it can.

I suppose I’ve ruined my intercession prospects with Saints Buttelf and Rumpswab. If you have anything interesting you pray to, a weasel would be grateful for the thought.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 29, 2007, 7:01 am

The only bright spot is that my pussoes will be as if made of velcro for the next week.

Charlotte hides from the cat sitter. Damien allows himself to be scratched behind the ears for a bit, and then bites her and dances away. This secretly pleases me.

But they will be oh so very needy for a while.

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: May 29, 2007, 9:26 am

Have a safe trip Mr. Weasel!

Comment from Lokki
Time: May 29, 2007, 9:49 am

What’s English for Bon Voyage?

Comment from Pupster
Time: May 29, 2007, 2:58 pm

Fare thee well, winged Weasel.

*lights incense at liquor store*

Comment from Liquor Store Clerk
Time: May 29, 2007, 2:59 pm

Hey, you gotta pay for that!

Hey, come back here!

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 29, 2007, 9:13 pm

I went down to chinatown and paid one of those mystics say some prayers for you. He even wrote one down for me. I took it home and ran it thru Babblefish, and it said, “May a fellow passenger stuff a feather boa up your flying friends’ back passage!”.

So….uh…be careful, Weasel. Sorry about that.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 29, 2007, 11:20 pm

Wow. I wondered what that itching was all about.

Home. Every connection along the way was late, but I made it…midnight local time, five a.m. in my head. Things are pretty much under control. Two weeks was too long to leave the lawn in Spring (I usually don’t do this trip in the warm months, so I didn’t know). The high grass makes the place look totally abandoned, so there was a bit of vandalism out front. Not the best neighborhood, mine. What a shock, eh?

In my absence, the cats have been re-enacting Lord of the Flies. I just interrupted them in the middle of the climactic Totally Missed the Litterbox scene.

Didn’t get the audit notice from the IRS I had convinced myself would be waiting.

So, on the whole…sucks, but not as bad as it could have done. Work in five hours. Alley oop!

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 30, 2007, 7:13 am

Whooppee. You made it. I’ve always been a bit dubious about flying. It ain’t natural. The proof is jet-lag: it’s your bodies’ way of saying “don’t do that”. Cogito ergo maroon.

I musta missed the “Beastie from the litterbox” chapter in L of the F. Probably for the best.

Comment from Dave in Texas
Time: June 2, 2007, 8:29 am

Prefer Gatwick, even with the longer train ride to Victoria Station. HR is a dump. Worse than Dulles. Way worser.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 2, 2007, 2:04 pm

I prefer Gatwick, too. I also prefer Virgin, which uses Gatwick as a hub. Unfortunately, ALL Gatwick flights from my area are overnight, getting in early in the morning. And most leave to go back early in the morning. That works our really badly for me on both ends of the trip. I finally found a pair of AA flights that are very congenial time-wise and I’ve stuck with them for years.

It’s a shame there isn’t an extra super special frequent flyer program for people who use the same flight over and over.

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