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The monster in the basement

 the monster in the basement

That would be me. That would be I. I am moving into the basement.

My real estate broad turned up on Saturday and said, “you’re right! The floors do look like shit with the carpets removed! Let’s get a quote on having them refinished.”

Oh, let’s. The quote wasn’t so bad, actually. God knows how good a job they’ll do (“well, I can pretty much guarantee they won’t sand any divets in it!” REB said brightly). But it means the cats and I have to slink off and live in the basement for a week. On a mattress. On the floor.

It’ll be just like college! Only, with less dope. And eye makeup.


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 28, 2008, 8:01 pm

Your cats… wore… eye makeup?!?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 28, 2008, 8:13 pm

No, but they’re hell on my stash. Stupid cats.

Comment from A freind
Time: January 28, 2008, 8:47 pm

This is absolutely none of my business, but have you considered staying in a Motel 6 or someplace while the floors are getting done? Think about what’s involved in refinishing floors: First they sand the hell out of everything. Then they vaccuum up all the dust. Then they spray the whole thing with polyethene or somethin’ (educated someone insert proper chemical name here, please). The cats (not to mention you) are going to hate it.

So, we have dust, noise, and odor. Lovely, simply lovely. This doesn’t count the fact that a cat WILL get out of the basement and do the charleston in the wet polyurethene (or whatever). Sure a hotel will cost money, but it’s only like you added another couple hundred bucks to the cost of doing the floors, so what the Hell?

You can sneak the cats into Motel 6 like I sneak my girlfriend(s)in without telling the clerk. Five bucks to the maid and your secret is gold.

Uncle Badger.. sure it’s extra money, but do you REALLY want to hear the story about those damn cats getting loose on that “gonna need to be redone to get the cat hair out” floor until death do you part? Better to hear the one about how the cat ordered all those dirty movies and lots of room service.

‘Nuff said

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 28, 2008, 9:57 pm

You make a good point, A friend.

Sadly, I am but A Badger and it’s The Weasel wot’s driving this particular bus.

And, as any mustelid will tell, you never argue with a weasel.

Comment from Pupster
Time: January 28, 2008, 10:17 pm

Sorry for your basement banishment Stoaty.

You should be sure to cover up the air return vents with plastic and drape plastic over the basement door too, if your contractor doesn’t do it for you.

Think of all the sliding around in your socks you can do when they are finished! Wheeeeee!

Comment from porknbean
Time: January 28, 2008, 11:34 pm

Well, if weasel gets a fan going after the stain/poly goes down, the stink shouldn’t be too bad. It’s the dust that will be a beeyotch. It gets everywhere. As the Pupster says, definitely cover your air returns and plug up any vents during the sanding/vacuuming phase. Hmmm…I’m guessing you will have to move most of your stuff down with you?

Comment from Dawn
Time: January 29, 2008, 12:20 am

I was going to ask you if you were going to have access to your pewter, but I remembered you have a laptop. Nevermind.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 29, 2008, 8:33 am

I may be offline. My wifi is cablemodem, and that’s firmly screwed into the livingroom socket. We’ll see what I can rig.

Next step is painting the basement and spraying for termites, not necessarily in that order, so I’m not a basement gnome yet. No vents; I’m strictly a steam radiator kind of a gal.

Comment from Dawn
Time: January 29, 2008, 11:32 am

Explore the plague tunnels with abandon, Weasel!

Comment from Dave in Texas
Time: January 29, 2008, 11:50 am

it probably doesn’t cause cancer

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 29, 2008, 12:43 pm

Now, there’s a question for the ages! Does the Black Death cause cancer? How would you ever know!

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: January 29, 2008, 4:12 pm

Great, weasels in the basement, now I’ll never get any sleep between them and the squirrels in the attic.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 29, 2008, 7:14 pm

Look, you get older, it’s only natural to have weasels in the basement. No shame in that.

Comment from porknbean
Time: January 29, 2008, 8:55 pm

No shame at all unless we are talking about bats in your belfry….not to be confused with a ‘bat in the cave’, which is a different sort of shame if it’s a big hanger.

Comment from Lokki
Time: January 29, 2008, 11:25 pm

oHHHHHH: “A Bat in the cave”! That’s a new one for me! Is that another name for “The little man in the boat”?

Inquiring minds are almost afraid to ask…..!

Comment from porknbean
Time: January 30, 2008, 1:21 am

Of someone makes the observation that you have a bat in the cave, you need to blow your nose.

Comment from Lokki
Time: January 30, 2008, 10:46 am

“Oh damn… said the red-faced man in the black socks, and he took off the left sock and tried to pull it over his face in a feeble attempt to disguise himself.

“I really should learn to google things before I fire off a post. To a hammer, everything looks like a nail. To a pervert…well, uhm…

Oh look! Something shiny! I gotta go!

Comment from porknbean
Time: January 30, 2008, 12:32 pm


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